Powerless does not mean No Power

People get hung up on the word powerless.

powerless –

  1. devoid of strength or resources
  2. lacking the authority or capacity to act

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/powerless

Personally I don’t believe that I have NO POWER. Instead I have less power than the average healthy person. There are things that I can do to help manage my disease. OK, so I know I don’t have all control (100% control) and I believe that it’s not a case of having no control (0% control), so I’m somewhere in the middle – between 1% and 99% control over my depression. Wherever I fall on that spectrum I am compelled by my Higher Power to act. My Higher Power has given me the authority and capacity to act and attempt to influence and manage my disease of depression. I may wish and yearn for 99% control over my disease of depression but wherever I am I must act. I need to get out of my familiar zone (I don’t call it a comfort zone as it is NOT comfortable), and take action.

That action could be as miniscule as bringing the dirty dishes to the sink (washing may take another burst of commitment and action), or it could be as major as cleaning out and organizing the garage. I have it within my power to take my dog for a 20 minute walk. I may not have it in me today to go on a 45 minute walk, but I can do the 20 minutes and work towards improving my mood. Progress, not perfection.

If the love of your life was sick and in bed, wouldn’t you feed them? Wouldn’t you bring them tissues? Show yourself the same compassion and commitment! You are worthy of action and of love. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice and an action. Have the courage to choose to love yourself and put that choice into action. You are worth it!

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Lemmings and their mass migration to the sea

Today we would like to share with you some thoughts about a small mouse-like arctic rodent called a lemming. It has a furry body, short tail and fur covered feet. Every now and then, the Lemmings begin their journey to the sea. It is what is called a mass migration. Ultimately, while trying to cross the sea they all drown. This mass migration occurs at the peak of population growth.

I have reflected upon this odd behavior at different times in my life and wondered about it. Why cross the sea? It’s almost like asking the question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” At least we know the reason for the lemmings – population growth. Does that mean, apparently, not enough food for their communities? Does it mean that they intuitively know when it’s time to march to the sea. And what makes them want to cross the sea? Is it a mutual understanding that if others are to survive then many must give up their lives so that the remnants left behind can continue to propagate and flourish.

I wonder if there is a resonance in one’s mind that, like in our world today, mass migrations of people fleeing their homes , country of origin, families and friends to escape oppression, domination by groups inimical to their religious beliefs and values.

What does this have to do with depression? Well, it has much to do with feelings, at least for humans , when we lose our place of nesting, lose members of our family, our children, spouse and all those cherished familiar relationships that kept us intertwined and mutually responsible to and for in our own lives.

Mass migrations, people on the run, millions of people on the run, with their most prized treasures, their children, and family members. All they have is the clothes on their backs. And then another tragedy: food resources, lodging, a place that is no longer familiar and friendly – all these disappear and are non-existent. Because of warring groups in some nations, people again flee their farms, herds and crops and die of starvation. And combine this with climate change, many areas of the earth are flooded out of villages and their homes making it impossible to grow their own food, feed their children and families.

Mass migrations of families and peoples are fleeing to wherever there is hope of survival and stability They are hoping that someone will come to their rescue. National leaders ar finding that the mass migrations of people over their borders are either not welcomed or allowed in. Many times the refugees are treated with hatred, physical violence or both.

Large movements of people today are presenting complex challenges, which call for global action. Many migrant s arrive in developing countries, creating tensions where resources are already scarce, by the majority of about 763 million, who move within their own countries. rather than abroad.

Source: http://www.fao.org/world-food-day/2017

The World Health Organization lists depression as a major world health problem. The organization strives to help persons become aware of the life threatening challenges that face our work and our people and nations. Millions have lost families, their own national heritages, members of their own families, plus the myriad of culture changes and climate changes press down upon and impact their lives.

Even here in the Western world we live in a society flooded with gadgets, vapid entertainment, and politicians making those self serving decisions for who is in and who is out in our societies. In America it is those who are uninsured, the children and the poor who are left out, left behind and voiceless.

Resultantly why shouldn’t depression become a number one isse for all of us. Why shouldn’t this be an issue for our local communities to help others deal with their losses, lost dreams and hopeless situations. We can’t just stand by and let others fend for themselves but it is necessary that we get involved in this global, local and personal which is draining the energy and the feelings that I belong to something bigger than myself.

Can we all be there for others when we find ourselves in a sea of indifference and let “George” do it.

Here is what I recommend, get involved at a local level, get informed on people homeless in your community, the number of refugees who are looking for support, and the persons in your own family who are depressed.

#13/13. THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

AN EXCERPT FROM THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS as presented in the book “I’ll do it when I feel better.” Pages 28-51. Depressed Anonymous Publications.

PROMISE #13. “Are these extravagant Promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. These Promises will always materialize if we work for them.”

The word here that catches my attention, now that we have reached the end of the Promises, is the word “work.” The word “work” is what strikes me as the most important. And we go back to where we started, namely, if we are painstaking in this phrase of our development – things will change. I think that this is what it is all about. If we continue to grow we will see that indeed, before we are halfway through, some very amazing things begin to happen. ” WE CAN PROMISE YOU THAT!

Check out the previous 12/13 Promises posted here.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
1. Can you share when and how you became to believe that it was important to have to “work” to get out of the prison of your depression?

2. How much do you attribute to God for your ongoing recovery and your own work?

3. Please describe some amazing things that have occurred in your everyday life since being an active member of Depressed Anonymous and working the 12 Steps of recovery.

IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT! THAT IS A PROMISE.
WWW.DEPRESSEDANON.COM
EMAIL US : DEPANON@NETPENNY.NET

We would suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. (#12 Promise)

AN EXCERPT FROM THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS
PROMISE #12

“We would suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
This belief is at the core of our recovery. It is precisely at this moment in our lives that we realize that somebody, someone greater than myself is guiding me. This someone is not forcing us but is guiding us through our darkness. It is lighting our path so we neither stumble or regress into our old ways of thinking and behaving. It is with this in mind that we continually redirect our attention to have that desire to do its will.

Before we discovered the program of Depressed Anonymous we were convinced that the only chance that we had to get better was to wait while the medications kicked in and then everything would be alright. But now we are certain that our ability to get well is surely based on how much we develop the belief that we can choose how we feel and think. Indeed we are now convinced that we can either sad ourselves or choose not to sad ourselves.

The community and common bonds of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship produce a feeling that just as other members of the group are recovering so can I.

We must be willing to let go of all our thoughts that tell us that we will never get well. These are the same thoughts that have imprisoned us over the years.

We now listen to the God of our understanding and proceed with the belief which we hold about the world on the outside of us and determined and governed by the world that is lived within us.

We are in a brand new way, on a new path, and find ourselves committed to a new and fresh belief that something powerful is starting to bloom inside of us. A peace that surpasses all understanding is beginning to be born when we learn to relax and wait and listen for that still small voice.

RESOURCE
(C) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2002, 2013) 2nd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 50-51.
(C) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous, (2013) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

We intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. (#11 Promise of Depressed Anonymous)

AN EXCERPT FROM THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

11/13. We intuitively know how t handle situations which used to baffle us.

“As my mind began to heal and my thought became more lucid it became apparent that something inside me was changing. Depression, when you begin to examine the various symptoms up close, and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought into play to defend us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or is abandoned. We have become so one with our lost love, that we mourn the death of part of us. The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependence today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression – true, they were baffling as I was not able to get out of bed, unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought.

But now my ability to handle situations in meaningful ways are due to my frequent attendance at meetings, daily times for prayer and meditation and a feeling that my life has purpose and meaning. My ultimate concern is to live life in peace and serenity. The more I am physically active, that is, going to group meetings, online or face to face, even when I don’t feel like it — working in my workbook, reading my 12 Step literature – these behaviors are where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy at times but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that my depression was not so powerful as to prevent me from even thinking that I could choose to feel differently.

The group meeting is where trust and openness is promised among the members of the fellowship. My defenses gradually lessen at every meeting.

I find myself speaking about myself. I now believe that with my new found openness that no one will discredit or abandon me. I now feel secure in this new fellowship of persons who are just like me. I can live in hope -not despair.

In her personal testimony Starr tells us that “As a person that has suffered depression since childhood
I can say that until you start to open up, share your hurts and feelings, listen to members of the group, watching them as they grow from the support of the group, you will not be able to get out of the prison of your depression.”

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY (Personal Stories, page 129-130)
(c)I’ll do it when I feel better. (2009) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. (#10 Promise)

EXCERPT FROM THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

Losses may produce a variety of very intense and painful feelings. Pain can cripple the best of us. Why fear people and economic insecurity. It says in Steps 4,5, 6, 7,8,9 we have examined our lives
piece by piece, ending up with a good conscience, while feeling neither guilt or shame for things of our past.
Bill, in his personal testimony in the DA book relates how “you don’t get better overnight, but you do get much better. I was down in the muck as far as you would go . I had to go and open the door for the first time because there was no other place to go. I had already used up all the hiding places in my life. I still have many problems like everyone else, but when I need sleep very badly I turn this problem over to the Higher Power and go to sleep. I can always pick life up the next morning. Somehow it all gets done. Every few days the world dumps on you and beats you down.. That’s just life.” (Personal Story from Depressed Anonymous, page 171.)

I believe this man definitely “got it ” when he began attending the group, spending some quiet time everyday and learning that people like himself were able to get together to form a new environment where there exists healing and hope.

Granted this group cannot find you a job or take away fear of people – but it will provide you with a map where you can discover a way out of one’s prison of depression. How do you learn that?

Kim, a member of Depressed Anonymous in her persona story tells us that “the moment that I read that I had a choice to stay in depression I undoubtedly knew that I could make the choice to get out of my depression. Bingo! It wasn’t an illness. This did not have control over me. And another tool I use frequently through the DA manual is that thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce moods and moods produce behavior.” (A Personal Story from Depressed Anonymous , page 159.)

In the tradition of the major religions, there exists the three poisons of greed, anger and delusion.

” You can let your thoughts come into your mind, just don’t invite them to stay for tea.”

“In the Bible it states “Fear not, for I am with you. Let not your heart be troubled.” Jesus

“The knowledge of emptiness gives birth to compassion.” Milarepa

Resources

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) I’ll do it when I feel better, 2nd edition (2009) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

These two works can be ordered online from The Depressed Anonymous Publications Workbook www.depressedanon.com.

#9. The Promises of Depressed Anonymous

PROMISE # 9. OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER PEOPLE IMPROVE

Why wouldn’t our relationship with other people improve. After we have begun to put into place our daily program for recovery, namely through prayer and meditation we now are expectant and hopeful. We reflect upon each step, and we complete a piece of the structure that in time will be the new me.

I think that one of the more critical areas to mend in our lives is the thinking part of our selves. Depression appears to start with the way our minds react and perceive events outside of ourselves. So, from the start we need to promote to those persons depressed to get involved in as much physical activity as possible, namely, walk, express to others, go to meetings, talk on the phone with supportive people – in other words, get connected as much as possible. The point where we hope to enter in the life of the depressed is at the point of hope – be it at different stages of recovery.

Most importantly we discover at our group meetings that there are many persons, much like ourselves and at the same level of recovery.

One of the immutable truths, according to Dr. Dorothy Rowe, who wrote the award winning book, Depression: The Way out of Your Prison is “that other people are such that I must fear, envy or hate them.” If we believe that we are bad and valueless then it follows that we must fear other people because they can find out how bad we are and so reject us. When we fear anyone for long enough we come to hate that person, and when we fear someone we don’t get close enough to that person to see their own difficulties. We think that they are having an easier time than we are, and so envy them. You will believe that everyone around you is on easy street. It is only when we ere able to look honestly into our souls that we will begin to see that it is how we feel about others that has an influence on our feelings today.

“Once newcomers hear the before and after of our lives it will make it easier for them to believe us when they experience our own enthusiasm and cheerfulness. Depressed Anonymous. Page 124

“We also believe that what you think is what you become.”

We can learn something not only about alcoholism but depression when Bill W., stated ” He can settle for mediocrity and self-satisfaction even though this may indeed prove to be a precarious perch. Or he(she) can choose to go on growing in greatness of spirit and action.”

In Depressed Anonymous (Page 125), we learn one of the best ways to grow out of our sadness is
” to start acting the healer instead of being the passive victim. We are under the care of no one except our God.”

I believe that our involvement with other people like ourselves in the group gradually broadens our perspective in the area of hope. We learn to utilize new found tools that help us live with hope as well as enable us to learn that we have to be active in our own recovery. In retrospect we know that it is in our making amends to those we have harmed by our depression that make our lives more open around us. Even if those to whom we make amends don’t accept our amends the main thing is that we have made them, We are doing the amends for ourselves. Whether or not the other accepts our amends is none of our business and out of our control.”

RESOURCE

(c) I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER.” ( 2009, 2020, 2ND EDITION). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 28-53.

#8/13. The Promises of Depressed Anonymous

PROMISE #8. OUR WHOLE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK ON LIFE CHANGES.

“To really believe, possibly for the first time in one’s life that I too can recover and that I too can begin to feel better. I know that I need to be proactive in my efforts at self-discovery. What causes our outlook and attitude to change?

What is the reasons one’s outlook changes? I have to begin to believe that hope and healing is possible. Once we have gone through some painful inner changes, such as dealing with our character defects and isolating tendencies in ourselves we see indeed there is a way out. We have to have a positive attitude that will move us and motivate us to want to go and get to the next step. Watching someone actually take these steps week after week and watch that feeling of wellness rise up in them can promote in each of us a belief that with work and time gradually our lives definitely do improve. Soon we see that a sense of purpose will begin to manifest itself the more time and work that we put into our personal recovery. We have to do this work everyday. The more we work at this reality of getting well –the less irritable and lonesome we will be. A door opens ever slightly, and there appears a potential route to freedom. But what is most noticeable here is that when my hope and faith in recovery for my personal life rises, my symptoms of depression go down in inverse proportions.

When we find acceptance from members of our fellowship at Depressed Anonymous we get that boost that says “you’re ‘gonna be alright!” And we mean it. This is the beginning of opening wioder the door that leads to hope and a change in our negative attitudes. THAT’S A PROMISE.

RFESOURCE

(C) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 18.

Change is risky!

“Change is risky and some folks don’t want to live with risk – they want life to be completely predictable. But with predictability, you pay the price of hopelessness. Hope can exist only when there is uncertainty. You never want anything to change. You want it to be completely under your control.”

I certainly agree with the belief that change is risky. I know how change effects our daily lives and daily routine. We are creatures of habit and move along in our life like a train on railroad tracks. There is never any veering off these tracks as doing so will create a disaster. We need to know what exactly is to happen if we change gears and try something new. Uncomfortableness is the outcome for this approach to life. But surprisingly, this is the way we like it. We want everything to be nailed down so to speak, where we are in total control. Control seems to be a definite issue for many of us.

“People won’t change until they have some assurance that when they do change they will be completely happy. They want to have someone promise them that if they decide to change, they will have no more problems and will be happy. Dorothy Rowe says “This request is based on two assumptions,namely: 1. Anyone who hasn’t got my problems has no problems at all (therefore, when my present problems disappear I shall have no problems); 2. Happiness is total certainty (therefore, unless I know exactly what is going to happen, I cannot be happy).” Again, the issue of control raises its ugly head. Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 74.

When depressing ourselves we tend to want to isolate and avoid all those environments, people, places and things that make me feel uncomfortable and where I want to run away.

“Just the feeling that we want to withdraw from everyone is a warning signal that we need to get to a meeting, talk to a friend and get moving. It is our effort to face the risk of living with the unpredictable that will free us from saddening ourselves. Depressed Anonymous is not the place to have people feel sorry for you. Depressed Anonymous is a spiritual program where you will find people like yourself, honestly, openly and willingly dealing with their character defects and gradually admitting that they will have to change their lives and lifestyle if they are going to be whole and a honest human being. The decision is yours. You make the choice! The Twelve Steps and your own personal story can now be shared with others and can help them on their own life journey.” Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 108.

We want to take the risk by facing ourselves and fears on a daily basis. Sharing in our Depressed Anonymous group will help us, amid a friendly fellowship, taking a risk and telling others who we are. You will be thankful that you did.

RESOURCE

(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40241.
* This important manual of self-discovery can be ordered ONLINE here at our website: The Depressed Anonymous Bookstore @ www.depressedanon.com.

#7. The Promises of Depressed Anonymous

PROMISE #7 WE WILL LOSE INTEREST IN SELFISH THINGS AND GAIN INTEREST IN OUR FELLOWS. SELF-SEEKING WILL SLIP AWAY.

“As we start our program of recovery we notice that there are persons in the group who are less well off as we are.

Newcomers can also remind us of ourselves when we stepped into the group for the first time.,
They struggle to keep back tears and hurt as they speak, possibly for the first time, trusting that they are with people who have been where they are. This is what provides comfort. They hear how recovery is possible.
“…We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story.” (Depressed Anonymous. Page 122).
It is almost a truism to say about those of us who want this program are now focused – not on self, but on the will of God for their lives.

I personally believe that once I have made the First Step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force – the loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me – restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those to whom they are willing to risk leaving behind the prison of their depression. BY my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing” I find that my own life is gradually becoming more filled with purpose and energy.

There is a saying that to gain energy you must give energy away. I have found this to be true for my own life.What appears to delete our energy is when our thoughts implode and collide with each other as they are kept focused on the problem. Actually, a person who is depressed is much like a community which is divided and at war with itself.

If you nurture yourself, you will find that just as in the natural world, the growth will be good and the growth will be gradual. There are no quick fixes in life – only slow solutions for the most part.
We all have a competence, an identity, an autonomy and an interrelatedness to everything alive around us. We are truly a part of every living community on the planet and in the entire universe. We are all one – and the more we see ourselves as part of the universe then nothing can prevent us from feeling that we have every right to be here. We belong.

I know that as I prepare my daily life with prayer and meditation that my self-seeking will disappear. I will more often choose to become involved in this universe and be part of creating a wonderful garden of diversity and plurality where everyone feels a part.We again realize that by my willingness to live in the will of God that I can live in the peace of my own consciousness of being one with all. What I mean by this is that God acts in and through us the more we “let go and let God.”

The more you and I wait on God’s still small voice in our times of quiet, that much more will God begin to move into its plan and prepare for you and guide you to execute its will; where you live. God has a plan for each of us – and the power of its will can free us from ourselves, our worse fears and into the solution of freedom.

Joel Goldsmith who is a spiritual writer contends that the more we “gain this consciousness of God’s presence you have the whole secret of success in every walk of life.

He also said that there ” is an invisible bond between all of us. We are not on this earth to get from one another, but to share those spiritual treasures which are of God. Our interest in each other is, in truth, purely spiritual. Our purpose in life is the unfolding of the spirit within.” Page 146.

As Bill W., states in the AA Big Book, “we let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once we commence to outgrow fear.”

We believe that as we can become aware that God dwells in each of us and demonstrates its power in us the more we remain open to God’s personal presence.
We humans are so grounded in the material and spatial world that it is veritably impossible to be conscious of a Higher Power in and around us. We are so mired in the muck. We can begin to believe that we can tap into this consciousness and let it unfold its plan, its purpose and plot for our life.
It will not plan something small and insignificant but will, by small steps, lead us, cause us to unfold in our lives what it has for us to accomplish while we are here on this earth. And I believe the spiritual nature and the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous is what God uses to get us aware and conscious of its love and presence.
RESOURCE
(C) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pges16-18.
(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 122.

Hope is just a few steps away!