Spirituality, Step 03, The 12 Steps

Coming Attractions!

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How often do we  hear about “coming attractions” when we go to our local theater? There are always movies that are advertised to be shown in the future. They usually depict short clips from some of the movies  that will be coming  soon.

Now, today, as we go  about our day, our mind reviews some of the coming attractions that we will bump into this day. Have you ever noticed that the human mind, with its fears and apprehensions, usually attracts all those things that we fear might actually  happen to us. Let me give  an example of how “coming attractions” works in the brain. It’s very much like Murphy’s law which tells us that if you think something bad is going to happen–it usually does. It is a strange phenomenon but it actually works out that what we fear many times actually occurs. It’s almost like the negative fear attracts the very thing that we fear. Let’s say we are thinking about a person who is a big pain and suddenly there they are -right in front of us. How does this happen? Is  there some mysterious magnetic force in the universe that  makes this fear become a reality? Or another example: I go to a room filled with strangers and I think, “nobody will want to talk with me.” And almost magically we find ourselves standing in a corner watching everyone else interacting with others.  We just knew that this would happen. This is one of those “coming attractions” to which  our mind alerted us. And then again, how about this situation. You are at the grocery or market and you  see someone you’d just as well not want  to see . So you go down another aisle in the store and head for the check out lane. Lo and behold, guess  who pulls up their cart right behind you. Yep, you guessed it. It’s one of those “coming attractions” that our mind makes happen. Negativity attracts negative events. Negativity thoughts  attracts more negative thinking.

Can there be a reverse side of this “coming attractions” business of the mind?  I believe so. It is just as true that our mind attracts whatever we put into it. If we fear this or that,  make a mountain out of a molehill, but then reflect and see it for what it is, and reduce it to its appropriate size, we will not get stuck in the cycling negative thinking  of how bad it is or might appear to us at the time.

In Step Three  of Depressed Anonymous we  read that “we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”   This is one of my favorite “coming attractions” that has proved time and time again to be so true. Over time and with practice,  I no longer waste my time thinking about what is going to happen to me in the future  with its promised catastrophic end. So now my positive thinking abounds in a positive outlook for my life. I just know that whatever comes to me today I can handle. I just know that the Promises of Depressed Anonymous are as true today as when they wewre first written back in 1935. I also believe that all I have is today–just this 24 hour period. That is all God gives me. One day at a time. And whatever the “coming attractions” are  for me today–God and myself can handle them. I am going to have a great day  today! How about your day?

For more about the “coming attractions ” for your life,  read what will happen for those of us who choose the  way that leads out of depression. In the program of recovery we call them the “PROMISES.”

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development , we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new happiness.  We will not regret the  past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word “serenity” and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how  our experience can help others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will  lose interest in  selfish things and  gain interest in our fellows. Self  seeking will slip away.  Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. The fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize  if we work for them. ”

SOURCE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 109.

The Promises (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications .Louisville.

Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE BOOKSTORE FOR MORE INFO.

Purpose

Get the body moving and the mind will follow!

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Sue, tells us how working at a local Zoo got her out of the house and focused on a new volunteer position at the zoo. She found that she loved it. It gave her a purpose and a self dignity that her depressed lifestyle had taken from her. The following is her own account of what this volunteer position brought into her life.

“Action does precede motivation and I began working at a local zoo. It is a beautiful place (and safe from muggers too). I began talking with people and learned about classed there to become a docent (a volunteer teacher). I enrolled and graduated. This gave me a new purpose in life. I get great joy from working there doing outreaches to schools, nursing homes and hospitals. I have made friends with both animals and humans. There isn’t a day that I go  there to talk that I don’t get thanked by someone, a visitor, or employee (or sometimes an animal).

My family hasn’t changed ( although my mother commented on the change in my face), but I have. In this the Serenity  Prayer really helps.  I know that I can’t change them but I have new friends and a real support system so this doesn’t matter so much now.

Whoever you are, you who are reading this. Believe! The first Three Steps are the most important. Walking or other exercise is important. Staying with it is also important. Going to the meetings and participating is important, but above all else, faith is important. Faith will truly move mountains.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 142-145. Personal Stories: Sues story: Faith does move mountains.

 

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A bird watcher I am not-normally.

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Well, we have become quite the observer recently of what a bird does as it is about to give birth. It waits. It waits some more. It has already fashioned a nice home for the new and soon expected occupants. .

From my front porch I am able to see my Robin friend come and go, morning noon and evening as it prepares to  watch the little ones as they pop their heads out of the small eggs. This is what mother bird, myself, and my family are waiting for. When is the big day going to happen?

Everyday as I go out and sit in the fresh morning air I see mother Robin sitting patiently on the egg(s) as  I presume there will be more than one baby Robin. I see her sitting on her eggs  at dinner time, and after supper. I remain as focused on my new friend as my Robin friend is focused on taking care of those who are to come.

To date, no babies. I’ll keep you informed.

Having a positive  focus is the  solution for so many of our life difficulties.  But for those of us who are or have been depressed, our focus centers  mainly around the hellish experience which we call melancholia or depression. Our attention centers on how bad we are, or how bad our life is or how bad life  is treating us. And since our focus is on these feelings of helplessness, morning, noon and night, so much so, that we are spending sleepless hours every night restless and agitated.

Now I am like the Robin about to give birth. I am waiting for someone, something to give me a hope  that I can give birth  somehow to a life lived with serenity and hope. I ask myself, where can I find that place in my life where hope abounds? How do I turn my hopelessness into a way out of my depression. For me personally, I think it is about focus and keeping one’s eye on the prize as they say. My focus for these past 30 years has been on a power greater than myself. I have learned that I can leave this prison of depression with work, time and a PLAN. The plan is to do the   same positive thing everyday.  Each 24 hours  is all  we  have. I use every morning reading my 12 Step readings and literature from my Depressed Anonymous fellowship. And during the day I say my Serenity prayer, which continues to keep me focused on doing the next right thing for keeping my serenity and hope alive. My focus now  is to share my personal rebirth (recovery) with all those in my life today who are looking for help,  plus that positive  focus that can carry them through every day of their life no matter what comes or what circumstance they will have to face.

You can read about these folks in  the Depressed Anonymous literature–VISIT THE BOOKSTORE.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. PERSONAL STORIES SECTION.

Go to a Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community.

PS.I continue to visit my Robin friend in great anticipation.

The 12 Steps

“I gave up my negative thoughts one at a time.”

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“It has been a year now since I gave up on those negative thoughts that I had over my lifetime.  I gave them up one at a time. It wasn’t like I dumped them all at once. It was like the people needed to show me a new life  and that I can be happy again. In the beginning, I thought the old familiar tapes that begun playing again . The old tapes saying that I was “stupid” began to play. But then I would attend Depressed Anonymous  meetings every week  and I would   go and find that I could use things that other people said at the meetings which would help me. That it was one place where you could go and be fully accepted for whatever you had to say, and someone else there said that they knew exactly what I was feeling.”

“For the depressed person, giving up old ways of thinking and acting is much like giving up any other addiction. At first letting go of the old behavior makes us feel uncomfortable. The old behavior wants to cling to our spirit like swamp mud hangs on to knee-high boots. ”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.  (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.(Personal Stories).

VISIT THE STORE for more literature pertaining to the Steps of DA and depression.

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“I am like a bird singing in the thicket of thorns.”

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In my own recovery program I too see myself as a bird singing in the  thicket of thorns. I have spent nearly 30 years practicing these principles (12 steps) in all areas of my life. First, I had to admit that my problem could not be stopped just by my willing it.  I had to do something about it. My will power was powerless when it came to removing the thorns.

For those in recovery and applying the Steps to their own lives, they know about the thicket of thorns in their lives. They know NOW that they can identify with the bird singing in the thorns and appreciate  the fact that life has changed. Now life has become a hopeful place to live, despite difficulties and problems that at one time used to baffle and destroy our hope and serenity. Most of us felt the sting of thorns  (our addictions) that put us at the end of our ropes. Even though I am still plagued with situations not under my control, I can still sing like the bird, which all those enjoying life in recovery   sing.  I  can sing and belt out with melodious tones  those hopeful verses which profess  a Power greater than myself  as it   continues to restore me to sanity.

I am no longer a lonely bird, sitting out there alone and fearful. Now I am part of a fellowship where everyone sings together. They and myself, even though the thorns are still all around us,  celebrate the reality of our own recovery. We all have a song to sing and the thicket of thorns will  never quiet our desire to  share with others our heartfelt joy  over being free. Truly, it is something to sing about. Will you join our chorus, even though  we are ever mindful of the thorns, but always  aware of that Power greater than ourselves who  keeps us singing!!!

Hugh

 

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Childhood memories are important.

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“Sometimes we become depressed…While the surface causes were a part of the picture, they trigger events that precipitated depression-the underlying causes, I am satisfied, ran much deeper.”

“Intellectually, I could accept my situation. Emotionally I could not.”

“To these problems, there are certainly no pat answers. But, part of the answer surely lies in the constant effort to practice all of the Twelve Steps.” Twelve and Twelve.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I understand that my memory is filled with certain concrete scenarios, assuming intellectual, graphic and emotional content. They continue to be stimulated by events in our adult life. Because of my childhood rehearsal of those feelings of being  abandoned,   I  seem to feel them  even more  strongly  now. These  childhood occasions are presently triggered by my present, stressful situations.

I have practiced sadding  myself most of my life. My long term memory bank is filled with stories and graphic pictures of those shameful; situations, as perceived at least by myself and in which I continually rehearse how bad, evil and unacceptable I am to myself and to others.

MEDITATION

God, our hope is in you as we go about our work, our life today. We trust that even though we may have a hard time trusting you to be our friend, we do trust that you will instruct us on how to gradually take mastery over our life and get involved in  our life. (See Step # 3).

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RESOURCE: COPYRIGHT (C) HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS: 365 DAILY THOUGHTS AND MEDITATIONS FOR MEMBERS OF 12 STEP FELLOWSHIP GROUPS. Depressed Anonymous Publications.Louisville.

Higher Thoughts is now available on KINDLE.  VISIT OUR STORE AND ORDER ONLINE TODAY!

Acceptance, Mutual Aid

For those who never experienced love growing up

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“Depressed Anonymous provides a secure base (love and acceptance) for those who never experienced love or support while growing up.”

After ten years of repeated meetings with the depressed of Depressed Anonymous meetings, it’s clear that the meetings create a secure base for those who in their childhood had neither kindness nor the life giving warmth and affection of family life.

People who keep coming back to Depressed Anonynmous continue to grow and become aware of the inner change taking place week after week as they find not only attention to their story, but find that they are loved and cared for at the same time. Possibly for the first time, they find that they look forward to each weekly meeting and become attached to the positive feelings that emerge inside themselves as they continue to share the story of their pain . In time, they share how their week is suddenly being filled with more good days than bad. It also becomes obvious to the participant that childhood behavior and experiences are carried right on into adult life. Trusting is such a hazard for the depressed because every person is different. You can’t trust your environment because it could suddenly shift and you would be without a certainty that you were bad and worthless. The meetings gradually present to you an opportunity to be someone worthwhile and valued. Your sharing and risking information about yourself begins the construction of a new and secure you. The Depressed Anonymous group becomes for possibly the first time in your life, a very secure and stable enviornmment where you can share, trust and grow.“

RESOURCE: Depressed Anonynmous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Personal Stories. Pages 139-140.

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The emotional wringer

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We all know about the “emotional wringer” that A.A. speaks to us about  in the Twelve and Twelve. It is here that we  can read  the  St. Francis  Prayer  and how Bill W., the co-founder of AA recommends it to all those of us in recovery.

“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace – that where there is hatred, I may bring love – that where there is wrong, I may bring a spirit of forgiveness – that where there is discord, I may bring harmony -that where there is error, I may bring truth- that where there is doubt, I may bring faith- that where there is despair, I may bring hope – that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted – to understand, than to be understood – to love, than to be loved. For it is by self forgetting that one finds.  It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal  life. Amen.”

Twelve and Twelve. Page 99.

To continue our discussion on the importance of prayer and meditation the Twelve and Twelve says:

“Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs. We know that God lovingly watches over us.We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter.”

Twelve and Twelve. Page 105.

Comment: ” Praying means to ask for something. We ask that we might let God take over our lives since we have admitted that we are powerless over sadding ourselves and that our lives have become  unmanageable. As it says in Alcoholics Anonymous: I saw that it was my LIFE  that was unmanageable -not just my drinking (drugs, overeating,  sex-add your own).”

 

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 97.

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I had an addictive compulsion to depress myself!

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“I very much like the whole spiritual orientation of the Twelve Step way of life–and just because we are a spiritual program doesn’t mean that we are denying the importance of other religious organizations or faiths. I feel that the greatest gift I have ever received is to know that I have an addictive compulsion to depress myself – it is this reality that brought me into the fellowship of DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS. It is here that I came into contact with and found a nonjudgmental  God who cares for me so much that God was willing to wait for me to reach out and receive such love.”

I became open, willing and honest to do what I needed to do to free myself from depression. Hugh

SOURCE: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 95- 103. Step  Eleven.

Hope is just a few steps away!