Proximamente! Deprimado Anonimos, un programa de Doce Pasos.

Hopefully our book Depressed Anonymous will be published en espanol by the end of this year 2015.

An excerpt from Depressed Anonymous / Step Twelve

Remarkable things happen to us when we are willing to admit defeat and talk about our powerlessness over our depression and how our lives had  become unmanageable. The first step is the beginning of the flight of steps that takes us up and into of our new way of living.  At our fellowship of Depressed  Anonymous we talk hope, we act hopeful, and we think hope. We learn that our thinking depressed and negative thoughts might have gotten us in the shape that we are in today.  What you think is what you become.  For us who find sadness our second  nature, we at times continue to revert to the comfort of old familiar negative thinking and are in actuality returning to self-destructive activity.  Hope is overcome by sadness.

When  we become convinced that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, we found ourselves turning many times during a twenty-four hour period to that power. It is a rock in a rocky sea that we all hold onto when we find it easier just to give up and sadden ourselves, instead of facing the storm and living through the fear.  What Bill W., said about the alcoholic applies equally to the saddict:  “He/she can settle for mediocrity and self-satisfaction  even though this  may indeed prove to be  a precarious perch.  Or he/she can choose to go on growing in greatness of spirit and action.

SOURCE: Copyright(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. Ky. Page 107.

I just returned from a four day retreat. I spent my time in a one room cabin situated  overlooking a large lake’s  small inlet.  The Hermitage, as it is called, sits on a 375 wooded acreage,  The Franciscans operate the Hermitage  to help those  who want to nurture a closer relationship with God.  Because of my own busy life and desire to  take stock of what God’s will continued to be for  me, I needed time for prayer and meditation.  I think what God whispered to me these last four days was  to “SLOW DOWN.”  I know we all have heard the expression to “Take time out to smell the roses.” That was exactly what I did. I cut out radio, TV, text messages, computer emails–anything electronic. Now it was just me and my God,. Well, not exactly. As it turned out I was part of a dynamic natural scenario. This place was au natural. Right before my very eyes, from sunrise to sunset there was always something happening.

Enter the Hummingbird, and enter it did. It exited as quick as it came. It happened that attached to the cabin wall was a  nectar bottle. Where I sat looking over the lake from my own vantage point, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a hummingbird zoomed in to the nectar bottlem, juiced up and flew away. The small flying jet of a bird was only an arms length from me. It didn’t seem to mind that I was there. I thought I am going to plot out and docment the times that it showed up at the bottle. Well, it showed up a lot during the day as I soon discovered.

I quietly refreshed myself sight, sound and silence. I know the Fransiscans said that this was to be like a desert experience and all that  we have is time alone with our God and creator. This obviously was not a deset but a bountiful garden of living organisms –all interconnected and living with and  for each other. It was just as much a “survival of the fittest”  as much as all species mutually aiding each other as the need arose in its members. And now enter my friends the turtles.

In the inlet, resting on sunken tree limbs in  the shallow water were the turtles.Lots of turtles. Each day they would come out of the water, climb onto the limbs of the trees, and sun themselves. This happened every day. Each day the behavior was repeated. One day as I sat watching the drama on the logs, like watching the flow of  molasses, the turtles, six in all, in unison with each other lazily enjoyed their place. There were two large turtles and four small ones. Suddenly,  I witnessed  the turtles, like on  command,  all plopped into the water with a huge splash. They resembled those synchronized swimmers who compete at the Summer Olympic Games. It was not until I  discovered  a few seconds later that a fisherman had approached the inlet and had just thrown out a lure into the water nearby. The turtles wasted no time in going to the safety of the water. It was not too long after that one of them gave an “all safe ” signal and they were all back to sunning them selves.

My reflections on this most sacred time, was how the environmentalist Walden must have experienced his Golden Pond. I was not only a spectator of the dynamism of Mother earth and its nurturing ecology, but I was a definite part of it. The turtles and the hummingbirds and all of God’s creation  continue to  do what they have always done for millennia.  Everything is interrelated and whole. The hummingbird and the turtles are an important part of this whole and each has an important part to contribute to the whole.

And so as with the Second Step of our program of recovery, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” it was here (the Hermitage) that I found a measure of serenity plus the truth  that sanity does  flourish when we embed ourselves and encounter  the dynamic world of all living things.  I learned that to “Slow Down” and “smell the roses” pays out big dividends four our recovery and helps us to see  and find our place in creation. We each are an important piece of what we call creation. Creation is the THOU of the I-THOU relationship. Meanwhile, back at the Hermitage, I am sure the hummingbird is doing what it always does and the turtles are there sunning themselves in afternoon summer sun as they always do.

I have definitely been there and experienced that despair like feeling. Will power wouldn’t brush it away. Nothing would help. It was only when I got moving–actually putting my body in motion that something good began to happen. Not right away–but over time I was freed from my lack of physical, emotional energy– as well as the thought that I would never feel differently.

People depressed many times don’t  think that they have a choice either to get well or remain locked in the prison  of their depression.

“This is why the belief coupled with the First  Step of Depressed Anonymous, a Twelve  Step mutual aid group, has a positive impact on  one’s personal belief about the recovery process. The First  Step of Depressed Anonymous states “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

And this is just the begging. Stay tuned.

Source: Believing is Seeing. DAP. Louisville. (1913) P.2.

The following are some thoughts taken from the  Dep-Anon Family Group Manual: The 12 Step Support Group for Family and Friends of the Depressed. (1999)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages Y&Z.

” It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed to attempt to immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional) the following responses are more likely to help.

“The things that didn’t make me feel worse are words which 1) acknowledge my depression for what it is (No, it’s just a phase ) 2) Give me permission to feel depressed( “but why should you be sad?”)”

Here is a list of things that might be said to a depressed family member or friend:

1. I love you.

2. I care.

3. You’re not alone in this.

4. I’m not going to leave/abandon you.

5. Do you want a hug?

6. It will pass, we can ride it out together.’

7. When it is all over, I’ll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you.

8. Don’t say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry.

9. We are not primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.

10. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.

11. I listen to you talk about it, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just can’t imagine how hard it is for you.

12. You are important to me.

13. If you need a friend…(and mean it).

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-Compiled by bw@cv.hp,com. Version 12.

10 worst things to say to someone who is depressed.

“But it’s all in your mind.”

“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”

“You have so many things to be thankful for, why are you depressed?”

“You have it so good, why aren’t you happy?”

“Well at least it’s not that bad.”

“There are  a lot of people worse off than you.”

“Have you gotten tired of all this me  me  stuff?”

“Everybody has a bad day now and then.”

“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”

“You don’t look depressed.”

The Source: Compiled by bw@cv.hp.com @ http://www.excepc.com/-corbeau/worst.html

Well, what a surprise Easter Sunday when our four Grandchildren came to find the 38 or so hidden colored Easter eggs  hidden around our yard.  But there was a surprise waiting for them. And  for myself as well. Right there in our yard, was a huge bunny. Who said there was no such animal as an Easter Bunny?  And previous to this,  we finally got past the Santa Claus thing without too much  damage  to the children’s psyche.  Like all children,  they eventually  moved on and past the Santa Claus mythology. Now we all had to  think about the Easter Bunny. Here, in our own back yard, was the living proof, a real live bunny. And a big bunny at that. The children were in awe. And to think he (yes, a he) laid  38 eggs all by himself. Amazing to say the least.  But after all was said and done, what the children put into their Easter baskets,such as candy, gum and coins  took most of  the shine off of the rabbit’s magic  appearance. They knew. Not even our 5 year old got pulled in on this one. With all the emotion of a large rock,  not even one of the children even mentioned this supernatural event –this cosmic  occurrence – when a bunny “just happened” to show up in our yard on this day, Easter Sunday. It does sort of baffle the mind, does it not?

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And again (I can’t let go of this) to set the record straight, it WAS quite a coincidence to have the bunny show up, on this day, on the traditional day when children all are on the hunt for eggs, and all the other good stuff that kids love. Anyway, I just thought that it made  a good story – especially a true story. It’s my guess, that they will remember this day for many a year hence. And just maybe, an Easter bunny just might show up when their kids are looking for eggs, candy, gum and all the good stuff that kids love. Thank you Easter bunny.

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Dear reader, I know this bunny account has nothing to do with depression but just maybe it can get us to reminisce about a time in our lives when our thoughts turned to discovering those hidden eggs in our back yard, placed there by a bunny whom we never saw, but believed he was  real.

“Now that small voice, that little part of you that wants to have light and some hope is getting  up the courage to ask for more of itself.” (8)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

  I can no longer turn back and live in my old self. I am like the butterfly gradually becoming winged and ready to fly as soon as it throws off its old body.  — an earth clinger —  the body of the caterpillar. My metamorphosis is in process and nothing is going to turn me back to the way my life had been.   I want now for my life to continue to get better as I notice that the more I work on myself and trust in my Higher Power, the more  I am ready to live my life with courage and hope.  I am beginning to like the taste of living life and look forward to each new day as it comes.

Courage is to have heart and to believe that all things can work out if I just put my belief into gear  and work as if it all depended on myself and pray as if it all depended on God.

MEDITATION  God, we hear you speaking to us to grow and to trust.  We will count the ways that you have cleared the obstacles from our path so that our down days are less than before and we have more good days than before.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Louisville, Kentucky. Ps.67-68.

Do you believe that you can fly –will fly —-want to fly? Is there that  small voice inside of you that keeps  telling you that you don’t have to stay an earth clinger, no, you can be a butterfly. Take a chance! Try and fly. Listen to that small voice inside of you who wants something more! Trust  all those other people who no longer just crawl along but are now flying hopefuls. Now, I am not talking fairy tale nonsense. I’m talking the way it could be. But there are certain things that you must do. One, admit that you are powerless and that your life is unmanageable. Then commit yourself to a power greater than yourself who will give you the wings to fly. And then getting a flight plan from this Higher Power(Butterfly) -or God as you understand God –you begin your flying. Simple, eh? Thanks to my Higher Power– the great Butterfly in the sky — you throw off the old body –and  join the many who are flying today. Hugh

HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS(C)

I will look at myself and change whatever needs to be changed. “Nothing in life is so simple that it has only one cause. Everything that happens emerges out of a whole network of causes, and so to understand why something happens, we have to bear in mind a number of different things.” (3)

Today, I  want to do one thing that can make a difference in the way that I feel. Last night I talked with a man who was depressed. I told him my story of how I took one small piece of my life that needed changing and I changed just that one small piece. As  I added to that small piece of change, more small pieces were added.  And gradually all these small pieces added up to providing more motivation for myself to continue the process of change.

At the end of our conversation he said that my sharing made him want to go out and walk. Taking a walk, and moving about, motivated him to change one small piece of his own inactivity and isolation.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God – consciousness.”

Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic (or a person with depression) capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.

We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man  in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”

— HERBERT SPENCER

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Source: AA Big Book. Page 184. THIRD EDITION 1976.