As we have been discussing ( 9/13-9/14) the Closed System of depression we are listing the issues that are part of each of the depression syndrome . Today I will  focus my thoughts on how our motivation energy can break into the closed system and influence the whole circle of symptoms that make up the system. Divide and conquer.

We will take a negative issue and turn it into a positive mantra. When we are depressed, we don’t have the energy to do anything positive that would help us break the bonds of the sadness. That is why the saying MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION is such an important part of my thinking and recovery.  This commitment to begin taking  responsibility for my recovery, prompts me to take a look at those  issues  of my life,  which have kept me imprisoned and feeling hopeless.

First of all we are getting g motivated to look at what our day is to look like. Instead of lying in bed most of the day, and staying isolated,  we are  going to write down–yes write down- what we can do today to help us feel hopeful. Just doing this small little exercise may be the jump start that we need to get moving and active. Move the body and the mind will follow.  I know this as fact. When I finally hit bottom, in every which way, I made the decision to do something that might help me get better. I began to walk every morning–rain or shine–and the more I got out early in the morning my motivation grew stronger.  In my work, I’ll do it when I feel better (2016) paints a picture of many of us who say this to  ourselves,  then we never feel betterenough to get active . I didn’t feel better at first, but, like a muscle that is continually used,  becomes stronger.

Planning ahead for the next 24 hours is a good way to live just for today and not live in the future tomorrows and the yesterdays. As you and I know, this is the problem, we don’t want to plan ahead. Why, we might ask.  “I don’t have any hope that I will feel better–none at all.”  When you are down in the pits, and the darkness shuts out the light, nothing seems hopeful. “Why plan? It won’t work for me.”

Have you ever dreaded the weekends when there are two days with nothing to do but stay at home and suffer. I found that if I became creative, and wrote down what I planned or wanted to do for the weekend , hour by hour, and actually did what I planned, this in itself would be a motivator to get active. We all need to plan something positive in our lives –and this applies especially on those days when we may not be working but have found ourselves alone and isolated staring at the walls.

Plan your day or it will plan you! Is this what is happening in your life? Don’t beat yourself up with the cycling thoughts that you will never get out of this dark pit, that the future is too bleak. Iinstead focus on the possibility that something good can happen for you.  I know. I thought I was losing my mind because I couldn’t concentrate on or remember any thing  that I might have just read. Somehow though, the exercise, the distractions as I went round and round inside the mall, all kept at bay that terrible hollow feeling that kept gnawing in my gut. I didn’t give up. I kept on walking. I surely felt like Forrest Gump. But  my motivation to keep on walking worked.

And now some reflections on the above statements. You can see from what I have written that the more motivated I became the more my thinking became clearer and positive.  Also, my behavior brought me out of isolation so that I got  better at making decisions for myself and my day. I had the choice to stay alone and isolated or get out of myself and talk to friends. This is why those of us who are in the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous receive daily support when we need it as well as gaining new insights from members of the group who are walking the same steps as am I.

Motivation has  a large role to play in my life. The closed system no longer has me isolated and hopeless, but now, by dealing with the symptoms of my illness, they cannot keep me in “lockdown.” The system is no longer closed. We have pried it open.

Believe that you–that you now have the key to serenity. You can see the symptoms, and you can turn the negatives of each around so that by doing  the opposite of the negative your own life can be  turned into a positive adventure. You would do well to read a book written by the depressed  titled Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) , published by Depressed Anonymous Publications.  A HOME STUDY KIT IS ALSO AVAILABLE. Visit the store here for more info.

Copyright (c)  Depressed Anonymous

I can manage whatever comes at me today, in this 24 hour period.

“Thousands of men and women, worldly indeed, flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, a peace, happiness and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.”

Bill W.

Source: Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of the 12 Step fellowship. (1993). Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. pg. 122. Meditation for July 25.

VISIT THE STORE

One can purchase this eKindle book online at the website www.depressedanon.com. Other literature is available as well.

# 11  of 15 Ways to leave the prison of depression.

ELEVEN

“I make a daily inventory of all my positive strengths. I tended to magnify the worst in everything in my life and make mountains for  molehills. I will focus on my stars and not my scars.” Believing is Seeing. pgs. 57-59.

As therapist, and with a new counselee beginning  therapy, I always asked them one question,  simply  put, was to have them list their  strengths. I  suggested  for them  to  list no more  than five.  With  a pencil and paper in their hands I waited to see what they had listed as strengths. I waited. And I waited some more. ( I might add that this was my format for anyone who made an appointment to talk about their experiences  with depression.)

After a bit, I them asked if they could share with me the strengths that they had put down on paper. Sheepishly, they told me that they were unable to mention any “stars” or personal strengths. “None came to mind” was their answer. But over time, when the fog of pain disappeared, their list  of strengths were gradually  unearthed and these strengths began to lengthen with each new meeting.

One of the realities that stands out in our lives when depressed is that we see everything  in dark colors. Nothing looks hopeful. There does not appear to be a light at the end of the tunnel  –  we do not have a friend in  the world. We feel we will never feel good again. The list goes on and on.

“By the fact that you are reading this, (Believing is Seeing) takes the strength to want to feel good and continue to maintain a positive recovery.  Begin now and reflect on your strengths. Believe that you have the strength to   maintain them  each  day. Your personal strengths maintain  a personal persistence and a desire to continue with gratitude this new feeling of hope.” pg. 59.

For an added resource  one can also use the Depressed Anonymous Workbook  as an excellent resource in  discovering our  ” stars” that are /or have been part of our lives before we became frozen in the fear and hurt of our depression.

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) Believing is Seeing: 15 ways to leave the Prison of Depression. (2016) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 57-59.

Copyright (c)   The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT OUR STORE where you have the opportunity to order our literature online. You’ll be glad that you did!

” I have an absolute certainty gained by my meetings, my friends in the program, and the literature that I read, that I can get better. I have this feeling in me that since this universe is operating on a regular harmonious  principle of  unity, I need to run on the same principle. The principle that I want to guide my life on today is that I can indeed be hopeful if I want to be. My depression, if allowed free reign, could lead to worse scenarios where my life is now.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

“The more conscious I am of God being in charge of this universe and it seems to be operating on its own pretty well, the more we want to try and let go of controlling everyone’s life  and world. We pray that our Higher Power will guide us beyond the limits of our absolute beliefs and into  a new world where we can be a different person and free.”

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for Members of 12 step Fellowships. (2007) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 145, 146. July 21.

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Please  VISIT THE STORE, for more information on how to order this book online. One can also order the  eKindle version of Higher Thoughts online.

“One of the best ways to break our dependency on our sadness is to share/admit our depression to members of the Depressed Anonymous groups. We know how depression flourishes and grows strong in the privacy and solitude of our minds. Depression gradually dies in the light of open sharing and frank discussion. ” ‘We are only as weak as the secrets we keep.’ “ Believing is seeing. Pages 39-40

“An addictive depression has an energy all of its own; it feeds on itself and on our attempt to overcome it, just as any addiction does. We become accustomed to it, addicted to being depressed. And even though it feels awful, we cling to it because it givers us a solid sense of self. For most of us the attachment is a transient one that follows certain blows to our egos; we wind up kicking ourselves out of it before it goes on too long. Others go into therapy and try to find a somewhat better self-image to substitute. But some of us make a lifelong habit of it; it is how we really feel about ourselves, way down deep.”

SOURCE: Addiction and grace: Love and grace in the healing of addictions. Dr. Gerald May. Harper San Francisco.1989.

This is a quote from the 7th Way of Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. Hugh Smith. 2017. Pages 40-41.

The 7th way out of depression.

“Today is all that I have. Don’t let dwelling on yesterday’s hurts and fears about tomorrow, rob  you of peace today. Contrary to what you might have thought  –you are responsible for how you think and feel.”

SOURCE: Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. DAP. Louisville. pgs 38-39.

“Now that  we have learnt how to take care of ourselves and our recovery, we now believe that we are responsible for finding a way out of depression. We can blame our sadness on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.  All this takes full responsibility for finding and using that map which points the way out of the darkness of depression. Since we have been involved in the 12 step program of recovery we continue to learn the “how” of working our way out of our sadness in the context of the fellowship of the group.

The best way to live TODAY is to be fully conscious of the present moment and create that  strong desire to be part of it.  Let’s not live in yesterday – the rent can kill ya.

How often  do I spend time  in tomorrow and so miss the joy of today? I think one of the more serious occupations (aren’t they all serious?) of the depressed is to just sit and think, and think and think some more about how bad life is and what awful people they are. This self-bashing makes one’s ability to change ever more difficult, as continued depressive ruminations promote a great sense of unworthiness and confusion. We feel that we have no control over what happens in our daily life. Actually, we are not so sure that we should care. Everything seems hopeless. Living in yesterday is to pay some high priced rent –and when you’re done paying the rent, you still have nothing to show for it.”

NOTE:  The 2nd half of # 7 will be continued tomorrow.

An excerpt for BELIEVING IS SEEING

“Keep physically fit is a must for us who are and who have been depressed. My walking not only restores harmony to the body but it restores my self-esteem and self-confidence. One of the major areas to remember  when someone says that they are depressed is to recommend that they get some physical exercise. So many times when we find that we are depressed, feel listless and lacking energy we tend to recoil from any activity that attempts to force us out of our isolation and inactivity. At one time our lives, any task or type of activity, even the smallest might have been cause for happiness and a continued life of productivity. When we are depressed , we just want  to lie down and sleep.  We feel that we have no mastery in our life, thoughts and future. What we forget is that this is the innate nature of depression. We believe that there is no use in getting active because we just can’t get the energy to even attempt anything that requires a positive response.

Mastery is what we gain when  we force ourselves to get out of bed, get going and start an exercise program on a regular basis.

“Walking is  a very efficient exercise,” Dr. Leach asserts, “especially in terms of toning muscles and giving people a good feeling.”

Dr. Ralph Wharton, another psychiatrist tells us that “going for a walk prevents excessive preoccupation and rumination, and it distracts you from your own inner concerns.— after all you have to look where you are going.” Prevention Magazine, June 1985, Pg. 95.

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I can state for a fact,  walking  gradually helped clear my mind   of the fog that had it imprisoned  and in a lock down. It took awhile. It didn’t happen overnight. It was the sheer   desperation and   strong   desire to free myself from whatever had me mentally paralyzed.  It was months later when  I slowly felt the fog begin to lift. Gradually the hollow feeling in the gut, the painful anxiety and trepidation that filled my body without  letup all slowly dissipated. Because I feared that whatever  brought me down would come back and bite me. I kept on walking.   I have to say I really never had many down days in my life.  I’ve suffered my losses and hurts like everyone else but  I never had experienced the depth of the pain that made me scared, hopeless and helpless.

It was short time later when I had my old self again. My mood became  hopeful.  I could even feel a little cheery knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. From that day forward, I knew that the secret of staying focused and upbeat was for me to walk everyday. And what lesson I learned from this was to reflect on what was going on in my life that preceded these  dark symptoms of depression. I believe that symptoms of depression don’t just fall out of the sky–out of the blue.  The way my thinking  continuously  cycled   negative thoughts,    producing  negative feelings,   and these  gradually had me imprisoned and behind the bars of my fears and isolation from others.  A gradual distancing my family and friends was  the result of a deepening  separation from everything that previously made  my daily life pleasant and hopeful.

I also have written about this fact in our recent publication, I’ll do it when I feel better.

“Today, millions of Americans are suffering from what my colleague Charles  Derber calls “double trouble”  Those in double trouble have neither meaningful work, nor sustaining intimate ties.  The withering of community life in both domains  fosters a rootlessness and social disintegration that unquestionably contributes to the growth of emotional disorders.”

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) David A. Karp. 1996.  Speaking of Sadness. Depression, disconnection, and the Meanings of Illness. Oxford University Press. p.  178.

Comment.  In Speaking of Sadness (which I highly recommend) Karp points out so persuasively how culture creates the disconnection that influences us  in our work lives and love lives. It is in his last chapters,  Sickness, Self and Society and Sociology, Spirituality, and Suffering he continues to assert the reality of postmodern life which is less and less connected and  more individualistic and manifests itself in   which individuals are disconnected  from one another.

Karp believes that it is in the small group where true community is formed.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

“Procrastination is really sloth in five syllables.”

                             CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

” The ones who get better are the ones who work their program, go to their meetings, have a sponsor and have a faith that this program will work for them as it has for thousands of others who have suffered with depression. I used to tell myself that I would start serious work on myself when I had more time, felt a little more cheerful or whatever. I know that these are all good examples of sloth or procrastination. I think depressed people have to fight against this more than others because at the very core of depression is a desire to not make a decision but to try and stay parked in neutral. To move out of depression takes an act of will because I will never feel better until I get into action.

I want to get well. I do want to feel better. I know that to feel better, I will have to get into motion.”

MEDITATION

We are going to commit ourselves to you, God. We are going to trust in you, and we have the faith that you will act boldly in our livers today. (Add your own personal comments here).

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SOURCE: Copyright. (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step Fellowship groups.Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  Pages 129-130.  June 29th thought for the day.

A THIRD WAY FOR LEAVING THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION.

“We trust others by sharing our recent episodes of loss/sadness while at the same time sharing our hopes and strengths. We trust our newfound positive beliefs for getting ourselves out of the prison of depression.”

“Thank goodness, people can now go to a group and find help–namely, the Depressed Anonymous mutual aid group. (A Home Self Study kit is also available. See literature at this site).  If I were a physician, I would administer some paper and pencil instrument which would give a reliable and valid impression of whether a person is depressing themselves or not.  Also somewhere in every primary care physician’s office there needs to be statements/brochures about the signs and symptoms of depression.  We agree with Lipowski who tells us that  “some patients need to be identified early, to try to prevent chronicity. It is important not to treat only their depression symptoms but also to offer them psychosocial intervention, emotional support and education.”

” Persons need  to be educated about depression and that one is not losing their mind when the symptoms of depression begin to take over their lives. Their own depression experience and the symptoms that comprise it may enable them to seek help faster. They may be relieved to know what it is that is happening to them. I believe a doctor or nurse practitioner would be more than happy to help de-stigmatize such a common and universal problem as depression or as some have called it in  an earlier time, melancholia. In time  and with our own advocacy as a mutual aid fellowship we will help make it OK to say “I think I am depressed!”   We hope by that fact to help  de-stigmatize  the common and natural response to loss. Remember to admit you’re depressed is the first step in recovery and the first step in getting yourself undepressed.”

The quotes listed above are excerpts from the THIRD  WAY chapter.

SOURCE: BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 17-19.

THE HOME  SELF STUDY KIT is comprised of the manual DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS (2011)  3rd edition and THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKBOOK(2011). VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFO.