All posts by hopeservicefellowship

We are not the people with the magic pills and the easy formula for success

The following instruction, How Depressed Anonymous Works, is read at every Depressed Anonymous meeting.

“You are about to witness the miracle of the group. You are joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how hope, light and energy have been regained by those who were hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better. But we are not the people with the magic pills and the easy formula for success. We believe that to get  out of depression takes time and work.”

And so at each and every Depressed Anonymous meeting the group listens as we hear what it will take to escape from the prison of depression.

Also at every meeting of the fellowship we hear how by using the spiritual tools, our Twelve Steps, we can gradually find the path that will and can lead us out into the light of freedom.”

SOURCES:  Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

The following  books listed below indicate the “toolbox” by  which  one can find the path that leads  out of depression.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE for more information on available literature.

The depressed seem to have an allergic reaction…

“Any thought that passes the  depressed person’s mind for example, such as feeling worthwhile , good, acceptable to self and others just doesn’t seem to sink in to make that much of a difference to persuade the depressed person to really believe that something good is going to happen to them. The depressed seem to have an emotional and physical reaction, much like having an allergic reaction  to anything that even comes close to having a hope that they will begin to feel better.

The best way to cure an allergy is to stay away from those substances, chemicals  and environments that cause us to have a bad reaction. Once  the allergic reaction sets in, the  depressed again plummets down the endless spiral of hopelessness and helplessness. To have that “vital spiritual experience” called for in Depressed Anonymous is second to none when it comes to getting out of the prison of depression. The fellowship of the program is a “sine qua non” of recovery but without having had that “vital spiritual experience”  it is doubtful whether or not one can stay out of the depression pit for any length of time.  We don’t expect that this means that you have to have reached the highest union with God before you can find relief but it just means that you begin trying out the feeling of turning some of this pain that you feel to the ” care of God as you understand God.” It used to be  major concern of mine that when people came to one meeting but never came back for the second meeting I would worry about why they didn’t come back. But this program doesn’t work that way. For those who expect a quick fix –why not? –      we have been suffering for so long and we want it to stop now! We find out sadly  that it doesn’t work this way. Those who do return –week after week-this is where the success stories lie. These brave souls by their struggles to get better and who begin to share their stories of pain and hurt, release in themselves the force of healing that continues with each passing meeting and with each encounter with other members  story of hope and renewal.

SOURCES:

Depressed Once – Not twice. (2000) The autobiography of the spiritual journey out of the prison of depression. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (See Appendix: The VITAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE)

The human experience of depression

“It is my belief that the experience  that we call human depression, can very much be like the early designation of alcoholism as partly an allergy as well as being a mental obsession. And depression is very much like alcoholism, in that it very much causes the sufferer much the same symptoms, namely, feelings of being isolated, lonely, angry and  in a   deep dark pit, hopeless and helpless. Also, the depressed who decides to become more isolated and alone likewise digs a hole just a little more deeply. The fellowship of the program is combined with a belief that a power greater than oneself is ultimately what is going to save the person depressed from killing themselves  or floundering in a morass of self-will, resentments and self-pity. Many depressed basically are afraid of people and so tend not to trust others. They also hold a negative view of themselves and think themselves unacceptable to others and to themselves. (P.3)

In primitive human kind there was a system in one’s physical makeup that helped a primitive relative of ours flee or fight when danger approached.  In those days the person faced with a mortal danger got the adrenaline flowing that enabled the pursued to evade his/her captor. It also gave the pursued victim  the energy  to fight and overcome the adversary. In today’s world the days of being pursued by some ferocious tiger or beast is not our problem. But we are still pursued and the fear of the consequences of being caught by whatever is pursuing us  shoots the chemicals  into  our blood stream just as it did in our ancestors – with one major difference — our fears, anxieties, continual worries keep pumping those juices through our system until we are too tired to flee or even to fight. However it happens, the result is that our bodies suffer the damage of the stress of continual unpleasant emotions and feelings coursing through our veins.  We are at war with ourselves and depression is the last wall of defense in which the body says I need to take a rest from all this stress and so I surrender. I am closing down. I don’t want to fight any longer. And when one begins to feel a little better and the energy of one’s spirit starts to flow back into us again and we start  to feel renewed and it is here that our old ghost of fear starts to feel renewed and it is here that our old ghost of fear starts speaking to us saying “Hey, don’t trust this feeling of beginning to feel better. Stay with what you have — at least it’s predictable. At least you know what you have. Don’t try to change anything as you might get something far worse than what you have now.”  (P.5).

SOURCE:   Depressed Once -Not Twice: The  autobiography of a spiritual journey out of depression.  (2000) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Pages 3, 5).

Comment:  In this important work, the founder of Depressed Anonymous the author shows us that even in the midst of the pain, isolation and a mental paralysis of will, the 12 Steps provide a plan,, a program of recovery. The author shows how by using the Steps himself in overcoming his own experience of depression that these same Steps  can now be used by those “still suffering from depression.

I will continue to have faith in myself

France’s way out of depression.

“I joined DA in 1988. At that time, I was totally depressed, with no interest in anything or anyone, and especially no interest in myself. I felt I had no worth, a feeling  I am sure that I had for many years, as  a very young child.

Having lived with this feeling for so many years, I guess I thought this was normal, probably most people felt the same way. I had all the symptoms of depression but I know nothing about the sickness except to live with it, which I have found to be a terrible fate, until I discovered Depressed Anonymous.

I attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings quite regularly. I have found that if I can attend the meetings regularly, I get the support of the members, who I have found to have about the same kind of problems as I have, maybe not quite as bad as mine, but I guess each of us feels that our problems are worse that anyone  else’s, I know mine are.  But with the regular meetings and my friends support, I find that I am able to manage pretty well from week to week. I have more faith in myself since I work the Twelve Steps the best that I can and trust my Higher Power  (God) with all my heart. I pray to the fullest extent that I will continue to have faith in myself and others. I have become a more human being than I have ever been. I work a lot, I volunteer a lot and have a far better outlook on life than I have ever had, and I attribute all of these good feelings to DA.

I just hope that I will always be able to attend DA meetings regularly and wish people had the opportunity to do the same. DA has helped me so much. I cannot begin to explain sufficiently the support the meetings  can give one who is depressed.

DA has been and is my salvation and I know the Twelve Step program is the only way to go to get one on the right track and it takes the meetings to keep you there. They are a “godsend” for me and I know for a lot of others who are depressed also.

I thank DA and my Higher Power for a life worth living.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Personal Stories)


NOTE: For more information about the  12 Step literature, please VISIT THE STORE  here at our website.

I am responsible for me!

Higher Thoughts for Down Days

I am responsible for me!

“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery… people who want to change begin to swallow their pride and ask for help.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

The ability to respond to the truth of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous comes particularly forceful when we have hit bottom in our lives and there seems to be no way out of what troubles us. This is where I begin to take responsibility for myself and ask others for help. Who is the best person to ask for help when you are depressed? Obviously, it’s that person who ha been where you are now. I believe that one of the biggest assets of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is the fact that so many people begin to live with happiness, peace, and hope after they have given up control of their lives to the Higher Power.  They indeed have hit bottom and there is no way for them  but up.

To say that my life is out of control is usually hard for any of us to have to admit. The pride that said that I had to please everyone to be happy, or in order to get other’s approval, had to do everything perfect, has resulted  in my depressing myself until I can hardly stand it. Now that I am telling it like it is and I begin to accept myself as I am and refuse to  let other’s opinions of myself overwhelm or dictate life to me, I begin to feel better.

MEDITATION

God, put your love into our hearts and your guidance into our minds as we struggle, day after day, to live with the understanding that we can only do your will by beginning to be responsible for ourselves.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 244.

“I don’t know why I am depressed…”

” Many depressed people will say “I don’t know why I am depressed. It just happened suddenly, like a black cloud coming down.” They say this because they do not want to look at the terrible events which threatened to destroy the way they saw themselves and their world. These events might not seem very significant to other people, but to the person concerned, they are very important. It is not the events in themselves which make them important, frightening, or overwhelming, but the meaning we give to these events.

We live in the world of meaning   which we have created. Indeed, as individuals, we are our world of meaning. This is why, when we discover a serious discrepancy between what we thought reality was and what it actually is, we feel that our very self is being overwhelmed, is shattering, and disappearing.

With this sense that our self is being annihilated comes the greatest fear, the worst fear  we can know. It is greater than  the fear of death. We can face death courageously when we feel that some important part of us – our soul or spirit, or our children, or work, or just the  certainty that people will remember us – will continue on. But when we feel that it will be as if we never existed, then we will feel the utmost terror.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Quoted from the   FOREWORD(c) , Dorothy Rowe. Page 12.   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

COMMENT

So often I hear persons say that they don’t have a clue why they are depressed. “My feelings of sadness just suddenly hit me.”  “My sadness just came out of the blue.”  Feelings as devastating as depression don’t just happen. There is a reason why we feel so isolated and alone.  Do you know that thoughts  over time can produce feelings, which produce moods, moods which ultimately can cause us to behave  in ways that are surprisingly foreign to our normal way of feeling. And if we continue to dwell on shameful, guilt laden and painful feelings,  these have to have repercussions on the way we feel.

Dorothy tells us that our experience of depression is a defense. The defense, depression, gives us a “slow motion” way of living. Our thoughts slow down, our ability to get out of bed and do what needs to be done gradually becomes impossible. A mental paralysis is the “new normal” where we can no longer navigate the simplest matters that once were automatic for our thoughts, feelings and behavior. To put it simply “we are stuck.”

What are your thoughts about all of this? I would love to hear from you.

Hugh

Depression is the greatest misery…

Depression is the greatest misery, for in it we’re alone in a  prison from which there seems to be no escape. When we have a physical illness, no matter how great our pain, at times we can separate ourselves from our suffering and feel close to other people, sharing a joke, feeling loved and comforted. But when we’re in the prison of depression, and there is always a barrier between ourselves and other people.

People who are depressed describe this prison in many different pictures: “I am at the bottom of a black pit.”  “I’m locked in a dungeon and they’ve  thrown away the key.”  “I’m inside a black balloon and as much as I struggle, I can’t escape.” “I’m  alone in an icy desert.”   “I’m totally alone, and a great black bird is  on my shoulders, weighing me down.”  The pictures are many and various, but the meaning is always the same. The person is alone in a prison.

Even worse, inside the prison of  depression, we  turn against ourselves in self-hatred. We torture ourselves with guilt, shame, fear and anger. We tell ourselves that we shall never escape from the prison, and indeed, in some way, we do not want to leave the prison. It is torture. It is safety.

The prison of depression is torture because it is isolation, the one form of torture which as all tortured know,  will break even the strongest person.  But it is safety because the walls of the prison shut out most of the things which threaten to overwhelm us and cause our very self to shatter and disappear.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. ( Foreword by Dorothy Rowe, Ph.D., Page 11.)

Asking the right questions delivers some important answers!

QUESTION #1

“Now that I have admitted  I am having a difficult time living I want to learn some new avenues that will make my life more enjoyable and much more livable.

Some of the major ways people help build the walls of their depression  are to consider themselves worthless, won’t allow themselves to be angry, they can’t forgive themselves or others, and they believe that  life is hard and death is worse. Also, they believe that since bad things happened to them in the past, bad thigs will happen to them in the future.”

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) DAP. Page 7. Question 1.2

Respond how you might relate to the statement above. The five immutable beliefs as Dorothy Rowe calls them, are part of so many persons depression and they aren’t even aware that these beliefs  have anything to do with their depression experience.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

QUESTION #2

“What kind of meaning do you need to find which would enable you to master your experience  and so allow you to get on with your life?” The Depression Handbook. Dorothy Rowe. Page 318.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

QUESTION # 3

“What  have you learned from your experience of depression which you feel would be helpful to other people?” Dorothy Rowe, in the Depression Handbook. Page 318.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

Dr. Dorothy Rowe, Ph.D: Helping us learn how to help ourselves.

Dr. Dorothy Rowe and I first met through a friend back in 1984 when I first became interested in setting up  a program for persons depressed. We didn’t actually have a face to face meeting at that time but a member of our newly  formed Depressed Anonymous mutual aid group, gave me Dorothy’s award winning work, titled Depression: The Way out of your prison.  I had already established elements of Aaron Beck’s thoughts on Cognition (Cognitive Therapy) into our mutual aid group’s structure and was quite familiar with  his point that it is not the event that causes the problem but how one’s perceives that event.  For a simple  example,  if a family is off for the day to enjoy a picnic at the park and it rains and their picnic is canceled, there are feelings of disappointment. And if a farmer is looking for rain for his drought stricken crop, he is heartened by the fact that the rain will enable his crops to live.  The same rain event is seen differently by different folks, dependent on how the even impacts their lives.

Dorothy Rowe and her beliefs, plus her hands on experiences as a therapist, came to me in this one book (followed later by her many works on the subject of depression). It was like the saying, “When  the student is ready the teacher appears.” Truly, a serendipitous happening!   It was this work of hers — the event — which powered my thoughts about how we humans construct the world of our individual personal experiences of depression. I also got  a  clearer and deeper insight into   how  “language creates reality.” Also, from Dorothy, I learned that it is how we talk to ourselves (our language and its meaning)  that provides us some insights into our emotional and thinking lives. From this I concluded  how  my  thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce moods and my mood produce behaviors.

In the Foreword (c) to  our work, Depressed Anonymous (1998, 2008, 2011) Dorothy Rowe tells us how she discovered a truth  about how persons deal most effectively with their depression experiences. Basically, it’s in the sharing of their story with someone  who cares and will lend a loving listening ear. Let’s look at what she has to say:

“When I first began reaching depression, back in 1968, the only treatments that depressed people got from psychiatrists were pills, ECT and psychosurgery, where incisions were made in the frontal lobes of their brain. My research required that I should talk to depressed patients, and lo and behold, many of these patients got better. This was  not because I had some magic cure, but because for the first time, the people were able to tell their story to someone who was concerned and interested. (My italics) By telling their story, they found that their lives gained in significance, and by explaining the whys and hows  to someone who was not always sure that she understood , they worked out better choices for themselves, and went on with their lives.”

So, in the Foreward (c) to our work Depressed? Here is a way out! which was published in 1991 by Fount paperbacks, a division of Harper Collins Publishing Group, Ltd., located in London, UK., Dorothy points out how those of us who “by engaging the depressed in dialogue, and getting depressed people to do what they least want to do: to come out of their isolation, to share their experiences  with others, and to become concerned  with and involved in the lives of other people.”

SEE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Final note. It was  with Dr. Rowe’s and Bill W’s ., great influence on my thinking that helped make Depressed Anonymous what it is today. Thank you Dorothy.

In 1995 Dorothy came to the US and presented the major address at the 10th Anniversary celebration of Depressed Anonymous.

 

 

…something powerful is starting to blossom within me

 Promise  #12 states that “We would suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

I believe that this Promise is at the core of our recovery. It is precisely at this moment in our lives that we realize that somebody, someone greater than myself is guiding me. This someone is not forcing us but is guiding us through our darkness.  It is lighting our path so we neither stumble or regress into our old ways of thinking and behaving. It is with this in mind that we continually redirect our attention to have that desire to do its will.

Before we discovered the program of Depressed Anonymous we were convinced that the only chance that we had to get better was to wait while the prescribed drugs kicked in and then everything would be all right.   But now we are certain that our ability to get well is surely based on how much we develop the belief that we can choose how we feel and think. Indeed we are now convinced that we can either sad ourselves or choose not to sad ourselves. We have a choice.

The community and bonds of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship produce a feeling that just as other members of the group are recovering so can I. We must be willing to let go of all thoughts that tell us we will   never get well. These are the same thoughts that have imprisoned us over the years.

We now listen to the God of our understanding and proceed with the belief that what we hold about the world on the outside of us is determined and governed by the world that is lived within us. We are in a brand new way, on a new path, and find ourselves committed to a fresh belief that something powerful is starting to blossom within me.  A peace that surpasses all understanding is beginning to be born in us when we learn to relax,  wait and listen for that still small voice.”


SOURCES:  (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous: Planting a seedbed of Hope. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 25.