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Anxiety, Avoidance, Depressed Anonymous, Exercise, Fellowship, Hope, Indecision, Isolation, Meditation, Purpose

Action Before Motivation, Using Behavioral Activation for Depression

Introduction

When depression, trauma, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion take hold, life often starts to shrink. We stop reaching for the things that used to steady us. We pull back from people, routines, responsibilities, and even small sources of comfort. The worse we feel, the less we do. Then the less we do, the harder it becomes to feel any sense of movement at all.

Behavioral activation is built on a simple idea, action often has to come before motivation, not after it. Instead of waiting to feel ready, hopeful, or energized enough to re-engage with life, behavioral activation focuses on small, deliberate steps that help restore structure, connection, and momentum over time.

This article is about what behavioral activation is, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to actually use it. The practical side is the real focus. We will look at how behavioral activation techniques can be used in everyday life when energy is low, avoidance is high, and follow through feels difficult. To support that, we will also look at the history behind behavioral activation, the cycle it is designed to interrupt, why it works, and how to stay with it long enough for it to help.

This is not about pretending everything is fine or trying to force yourself into a better mood. It is about understanding that small actions, repeated often enough, can help open life back up again.

Section 1, What Behavioral Activation Is, and Where It Comes From

Behavioral activation, often shortened to BA, is a structured therapeutic approach that helps people re-engage with life through planned, meaningful action. It is not just about staying busy, and it is not the same as distracting yourself until the day is over. The point is more specific than that. Behavioral activation targets patterns of withdrawal and avoidance, and helps people increase contact with activities that bring reinforcement, meaning, connection, or a sense of progress.

That matters because when someone is depressed or emotionally shut down, inactivity is often part of the problem, not a character flaw. People stop doing things because everything feels heavier, flatter, more effortful, or less rewarding. In the short term, pulling back can feel understandable, even protective. Over time, though, it usually cuts people off from the very experiences that help support mood, routine, confidence, and connection. Behavioral activation is designed to interrupt that pattern.

The basic idea is simple, do not wait for motivation to show up before taking action. In many cases, waiting is exactly what keeps someone stuck. Behavioral activation works from the other direction. It starts with manageable, deliberate actions, not because a person already feels better, but because action can help create the conditions where feeling better becomes more possible.

The roots of behavioral activation go back to behavioral theories of depression developed in the 1970s, especially the work of Peter Lewinsohn. Those early models focused on reduced positive reinforcement. In plain language, when someone has less contact with experiences that bring pleasure, accomplishment, meaning, or connection, mood can worsen. As mood worsens, people often withdraw further, which reduces those experiences even more. Later research, including work by Neil Jacobson and colleagues, helped show that the behavioral side of therapy for depression was especially powerful. That helped behavioral activation become recognized as a treatment in its own right, rather than being seen only as one part of cognitive behavioral therapy.

That history matters because it shows behavioral activation is not a motivational trend or a watered down version of something more serious. It is a well-established, evidence-based treatment approach with a clear theory behind it. It is also recognized in mainstream clinical guidance as a treatment option for depression, which places it firmly inside standard therapeutic practice, not at the edges of it.

Just as important, behavioral activation has lasted because it is practical. Many people already know they are stuck. What they do not need is another abstract explanation of why. They need a realistic way to begin moving again. Behavioral activation offers that by focusing on actions that are small enough to be doable, but meaningful enough to start changing the pattern.

Useful sources for this section include:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21275642/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20677369/
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng222/chapter/recommendations
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7390059/

Section 2, The Cycle Behavioral Activation Is Designed to Break

One of the hardest parts of depression, trauma, anxiety, or emotional shutdown is that they do not just change how we feel. They change what we do. We start pulling back from ordinary life. We cancel plans, ignore messages, put things off, let routines slide, and stop doing small things that used to help us feel steadier. Over time, that withdrawal can stop being just a result of low mood and start becoming part of what keeps it going.

In the moment, pulling back can make complete sense. If everything feels overwhelming, staying home can feel safer. If people feel draining, avoiding them can feel like relief. If a task feels huge, putting it off can feel like self-protection. That is part of what makes this cycle so difficult. Avoidance often helps in the short term. It reduces pressure for a moment. But the relief usually does not last.

The longer that pattern continues, the more it starts to cost us. We lose structure. We lose small moments of enjoyment. We lose chances to feel capable, connected, or accomplished. Things that once broke up the day and gave it shape begin to disappear. Life can start to feel flatter and more repetitive, with less to look forward to and less to feel good about afterward.

That is how the cycle tightens. Low mood leads to less activity. Less activity means less contact with the things that support wellbeing, enjoyment, achievement, connection, routine, movement, and purpose. That leaves us feeling worse, which makes it harder to do anything at all. After a while, the problem is not only the depression, anxiety, or shutdown itself. It is also the pattern that has formed around it.

Most of the time, this does not look dramatic. It looks ordinary. A person stops going for walks. Stops answering texts. Stops cooking proper meals. Leaves dishes in the sink. Puts off paperwork. Stays in bed longer. Skips meetings. Stops doing hobbies that used to make them feel like themselves. None of those things on their own seem huge. Put together, though, they can quietly reshape a person’s life.

This is one reason people can be so hard on themselves. From the outside, many of these tasks look small. From the inside, they can feel loaded. Once shame, low mood, and avoidance have built up around them, even opening a message or stepping outside can feel like too much. That does not mean someone is lazy, weak, or not trying hard enough. It means emotional pain is shaping behaviour in ways that are understandable, but that also keep the pain going.

That is where the central idea comes in, action often has to come before motivation, not after it. If low mood is being maintained in part by withdrawal, loss of routine, and reduced contact with things that bring meaning or relief, then waiting to feel better before doing anything can keep someone stuck in the same loop. Motivation often does not arrive first. It often has to be rebuilt through action.

That does not mean forcing huge changes or pretending things are fine. It means recognising that the cycle has to be interrupted somewhere. If avoidance brings short term relief while making life narrower in the long term, then small, deliberate action starts to make more sense.

Once that cycle is clear, the next question becomes practical. What kinds of actions actually help, and how do you use them when you feel flat, avoidant, or overwhelmed?

Useful sources for this section include:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7390059/
https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/behavioural-activation.pdf
https://talkingtherapiessouthwark.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1.-Introduction-to-BA-for-depression-revised-2021.pdf
https://www.gmmh.nhs.uk/behavioural-activation/

Section 3, How to Employ Behavioral Activation Techniques in Daily Life

Once you can see the cycle, the next step is not a dramatic reset. It is not getting your whole life together by Monday, building the perfect routine, or becoming the kind of person who suddenly finds all of this easy.

It is smaller than that, and harder in a different way.

Behavioral activation asks a more practical question, what is one small action that would bring a little structure, movement, connection, or meaning back into today?

That is what makes it useful. When you are depressed, overwhelmed, numb, or shut down, “fix your life” is useless advice. “Do one thing that reconnects you with life” is something you can actually work with.

And that is the heart of behavioral activation. You do not wait to feel motivated first. You begin with action, because action often has to come before motivation, not after it.

Start with the right kinds of activities

Behavioral activation is not about staying busy for the sake of it. It is about choosing activities that reconnect you with parts of life that low mood, anxiety, trauma, or exhaustion have pushed out of reach.

A useful way to think about those activities is in five categories.

Pleasure

Pleasure activities are small things that bring comfort, enjoyment, or relief.

That might be sitting outside with a coffee, listening to music, taking a bath, reading for ten minutes, watching one episode of something you actually enjoy, or eating something you like rather than whatever is easiest.

These activities matter because when life gets flat, people often lose contact with simple forms of enjoyment first. Pleasure does not have to be profound to matter. Sometimes a small moment that feels a little lighter, calmer, or more human is enough.

Mastery

Mastery activities are things that help you feel capable, organised, or slightly more in control.

That might be making the bed, washing dishes, replying to one email, paying one bill, sorting laundry, cooking something simple, or clearing one small area of a room.

These are important because depression often strips away a sense of agency. Days start happening to you instead of being shaped by you. Mastery helps push back against that. Not through positive thinking, but through evidence. I did something. I followed through. I moved one thing forward.

Connection

Connection activities reduce isolation.

That might mean replying to a text, calling a friend, attending a meeting, joining a support group, eating with someone, or simply sitting in a shared space instead of hiding away.

These do not have to be deep or emotionally intense. The goal is not perfect closeness. It is to spend less time cut off. When you have been isolated for a while, even light contact can make the day feel less sealed off.

Necessary maintenance

These are the tasks that keep daily life functioning.

Showering, brushing your teeth, taking medication, getting dressed, eating a meal, tidying up, going to an appointment, taking the rubbish out, or setting out clothes for tomorrow all count.

These tasks can feel painfully basic when someone is depressed, but that does not make them less important. Often this is the part of life that starts to collapse first, which then creates more stress, more shame, and more disorder. Sometimes behavioral activation starts here simply because this is the part of life that most needs holding together.

Values-based action

Values-based activities are tied to who you want to be and what matters to you.

That could be parenting with intention, going to a recovery meeting, applying for jobs, journaling, praying, doing service, exercising, keeping a promise, or taking one step toward something meaningful even if it does not feel good in the moment.

These matter because life is not only about feeling better. It is also about living in a way that still feels like yours. Values-based action helps remind you that even when mood is low, direction still matters.

Then make them usable

Knowing the categories helps, but the real question is how to actually use them.

Start smaller than you think

This is where many people go wrong. They decide the answer is to fix everything at once. Go to the gym, deep clean the flat, reply to everyone, rebuild a social life, cook every meal, become consistent immediately.

That usually falls apart fast. Then the collapse gets used as proof that nothing works.

Behavioral activation works better when the action is small enough to be doable even on a hard day, and clear enough that you do not have to negotiate with yourself for an hour before starting.

  • Instead of “go for a long walk,” make it “walk for five minutes.”
  • Instead of “clean the kitchen,” make it “wash five dishes.”
  • Instead of “sort my life out,” make it “pay one bill.”

Small does not mean pointless. Small means repeatable.

Be specific

Vague plans are easy to avoid.

“Do something nice” is vague.
“Take tea outside at 9 a.m.” is specific.

“Tidy up” is vague.
“Clear the bedside table” is specific.

“Reach out to someone” is vague.
“Text Sam after lunch” is specific.

Behavioral activation works best when the activity is concrete enough that you either did it or you did not.

Schedule it instead of waiting to feel like it

If the plan is “I’ll do it when I have the energy,” it often does not happen.

  • A better approach is to attach the activity to a time or an existing routine.
  • After coffee, I go outside for five minutes.
  • At noon, I eat something.
  • After dinner, I wash dishes for ten minutes.
  • Before bed, I set out clothes for tomorrow.

This matters because it makes the activity less dependent on mood and more dependent on structure. When motivation is unreliable, structure carries more of the load.

Choose based on what has dropped out of your life

Behavioral activation works best when it responds to the gap.

  • If you are isolated, connection may need attention.
  • If your space is becoming chaotic, mastery or maintenance may matter most.
  • If everything feels joyless, pleasure may need rebuilding
  • If you feel aimless, a values-based activity may matter more than another comfort habit.

You do not need a perfect balance every day. You need to notice what has gone missing and start putting some of it back on purpose.

Use a simple daily structure

A good starting point is to choose:

  • one thing for pleasure,
  • one thing for mastery,
  • and one thing for maintenance or connection.

That might look like:

  • sit outside for ten minutes,
  • reply to one email,
  • take a shower.

Or:

  • listen to music while making lunch,
  • clear the kitchen counter,
  • text one person back.

That is enough to count.

It may not sound like much, but when you are shut down or avoidant, doing three small things on purpose can change the tone of a day. Not because it fixes everything, but because it stops the whole day from being handed over to the spiral.

Scale down, do not quit

This is one of the most important parts.

On bad days, the goal is not to do the ideal version of the activity no matter what. The goal is to keep some contact with the pattern.

  • If the plan was a twenty minute walk, the scaled down version might be five minutes. If five minutes feels too much, it might be standing outside for one minute.
  • If the plan was cooking dinner, the scaled down version might be making toast and eggs.
  • If the plan was attending a full meeting, the scaled down version might be joining for fifteen minutes.

All-or-nothing thinking ruins consistency. If the only options are “do it properly” or “do nothing,” difficult days usually end in nothing. A scaled-down version still counts because it protects the rhythm.

Track completion first, mood second

A common mistake is deciding an activity failed because it did not make you feel noticeably better straight away.

But behavioral activation is not really about instant mood repair. It is about changing a pattern over time.

Sometimes the result is not “I feel good now.” Sometimes it is:

  • I feel slightly less stuck.
  • I did not spend the whole day in bed.
  • I proved I could do one thing
  • I made tomorrow a little easier.

That still counts.

A simple way to track this is to write down what you planned, whether you did it, and anything you noticed afterward. Completion comes first. Mood matters too, but not as the only measure of whether the activity was worth doing.

Ask whether the activity helps you reconnect

Not every activity helps in the same way.

Some things bring temporary relief but leave you feeling just as shut down afterward. Hours of scrolling, numbing out in front of the TV, drinking to get through the evening, or disappearing into avoidance disguised as comfort may feel easier in the moment, but they usually do not rebuild structure, mastery, connection, or meaning.

A useful question is:

Will this help me reconnect with life, even in a small way?

That question is not there to shame you. It is there to help you notice the difference between something that restores you and something that only helps you vanish for a while.

Keep the bar low enough to keep going

Behavioral activation does not ask you to feel convinced before you begin. It asks you to start where you are.

  • One shower.
  • One short walk.
  • One text.
  • One load of laundry.
  • One meal.
  • One meeting.
  • One five minute task.

Done often enough, these actions start to rebuild rhythm. And rhythm matters. It helps life feel less shut down and more lived in.

That is also why behavioral activation can look almost too simple on paper. What makes it effective is not complexity. It is repetition. Small actions, chosen on purpose and repeated often enough, can begin restoring the things depression and avoidance tend to strip away, structure, movement, confidence, connection, and a sense that your day belongs to you again.

This is the part people often underestimate. Not because it is complicated, but because it is small. But when someone has been stuck for a while, small is often exactly what makes change possible. A shower can be an interruption. A walk can be an interruption. One answered message can be an interruption. And sometimes an interruption is where recovery starts.

The next question is why this works as well as it does, not just emotionally, but psychologically and neurologically too.

Useful sources for this section:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20677369/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11104310/
https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/behavioural-activation.pdf
https://medicine.umich.edu/sites/default/files/content/downloads/Behavioral-Activation-for-Depression.pdf

Section 4, Why These Techniques Work, Therapeutically and Neurologically

The practical side of behavioral activation can look almost too simple on paper. Go outside for five minutes. Answer one message. Take a shower. Wash the dishes. Go to the meeting. Make the meal. It is easy to look at actions like that and wonder how something so small could really matter.

But that is exactly the point. Small actions can matter because depression and emotional shutdown are often maintained through small patterns too, putting things off, pulling back, losing structure, dropping routines, and slowly losing contact with anything that brings enjoyment, connection, meaning, or a sense of progress.

On the therapy side, behavioral activation works because it targets avoidance directly. When someone feels low, numb, overwhelmed, or hopeless, pulling back often makes sense in the short term. It reduces pressure. It can feel protective. But over time it usually cuts the person off from the very things that might help them feel steadier, a bit of structure, a bit of accomplishment, a bit of connection, a bit of relief. Behavioral activation tries to reverse that by helping a person re-enter life deliberately, even before they feel fully ready.

That is part of why the approach is so practical. It does not depend on winning an argument with your own mind before doing anything different. It starts with changing the pattern. In real life, that means creating more opportunities for something useful to happen, even if the effect is small at first. A little enjoyment. A little mastery. A little movement. A little contact. Not every action will feel rewarding in the moment, but over time they increase the chances that life contains more than avoidance and inertia.

The neurological side helps explain why this matters. Depression often affects reward processing, which is part of how the brain helps us anticipate, notice, and respond to things that might feel worthwhile. This is one reason anhedonia can be so difficult. It is not only that pleasure feels dulled. It is also that effort can start to feel pointless, because the brain is no longer expecting much reward at the other end of it.

That is an important distinction. A lot of people with depression do not just struggle to enjoy things. They struggle to imagine that doing anything will lead to anything good. Once that happens, motivation can collapse. If nothing seems likely to help, then even basic actions can feel irrational or exhausting.

Behavioral activation works against that by putting a person back in contact with experiences where something useful, comforting, meaningful, or relieving might happen. Not guaranteed, but possible. In that sense, BA is not just about “doing healthy things.” It is also a way of giving the brain repeated chances to relearn that action can still lead somewhere worthwhile.

That relearning matters. You go for the walk and feel slightly clearer. You shower and feel a little more human. You answer one message and feel less cut off. You make the meal and the evening becomes a bit easier. None of that is dramatic, but each one is a small piece of evidence against the idea that nothing helps. Over time, those experiences can begin shifting not only what a person does, but what they expect from doing anything at all.

There is also growing evidence that behavioral activation may help reduce the kind of stuck, repetitive mental loops that come with depression, especially rumination, while strengthening the systems involved in reward, engagement, and goal-directed behavior. That fits the lived experience of BA quite well. The person is not only doing more. They may also be getting less trapped in the mental grooves that keep them shut down and more able to move toward life again.

Put simply, behavioral activation seems to work on at least two levels at once. Psychologically, it interrupts avoidance and increases contact with structure, connection, accomplishment, and meaning. Neurologically, it may help re-engage reward-related learning and shift some of the patterns that keep a person stuck in anhedonia and rumination.

That does not mean every activity will feel good. It does not mean BA is a trick or a shortcut. It means the small actions in Section 3 matter more than they seem to at first glance. They are not random acts of self-improvement. They are repeated chances to interrupt the depressive pattern and show the brain, slowly and through experience, that action can still lead to something worthwhile.

That is also why consistency matters more than intensity. One big burst of effort rarely changes much on its own. Repeated contact does. Behavioral activation works less like a sudden breakthrough and more like teaching yourself, again and again, that life is still something you can move toward.

Useful sources for this section include:
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-019-0644-x
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4626008/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38951971/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38774780/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9577157/

Section 5, How to Stick With Behavioral Activation Over Time

Starting behavioral activation is one thing. Staying with it long enough for it to help is something else.

That matters because BA is meant to work gradually, not all at once. It helps most when you build it step by step, not when you try to force a complete turnaround in a week.

One of the biggest obstacles is waiting to feel like it. But BA is built on the reality that motivation is often unreliable when mood is low. The point is not to wait for a better mood before acting. The point is to act in a way that gives mood a chance to shift.

Another common mistake is aiming too high, too fast. People turn BA into a self-improvement project instead of a recovery practice. They try to fix everything at once, fill every hour, and hold themselves to a standard they would struggle to meet even on a good week. That usually backfires. BA works better when the plan matches your actual energy, attention, and emotional bandwidth, not the version of you that you wish would suddenly appear.

All or nothing thinking is another trap. If the plan becomes “do it properly or it does not count,” then one hard day can turn into several. BA works better when the goal is not perfection, but contact. No activity is too small to count if it keeps you in the pattern. Bigger tasks can be broken into smaller steps. A ten minute version counts. A reduced version counts. What matters is keeping some link to the routine instead of dropping it completely.

That is why bad days do not mean the approach has failed. Most of the time, they mean the plan needs adjusting. If something did not happen, the useful question is not “What is wrong with me?” but “Was this too ambitious, too vague, badly timed, or too dependent on me feeling good first?” BA works best when it stays flexible. Sometimes success means doing the smallest version. Sometimes it means postponing something and trying again tomorrow. The point is to keep working with the process rather than treating one difficult day as proof that nothing helps.

It also helps to stop judging BA only by whether it creates instant relief. Sometimes people decide an activity did not work because it did not make them feel noticeably better straight away. But that is too narrow a test. Sometimes the gain is that you kept a promise to yourself. Sometimes it is that you made tomorrow easier. Sometimes it is that you stopped the whole day from sliding further downhill. Those changes may be modest, but they still matter.

This is one reason consistency matters more than intensity. What tends to help is not one perfect day or one burst of effort. It is repeated contact with actions that restore routine, pleasure, necessity, and engagement. BA works best as a steady practice, not a performance.

Over time, that repetition can become more than symptom management. It can become a way of rebuilding trust in yourself. Depression and emotional shutdown often damage that trust. You stop believing your plans, your intentions, or your ability to follow through. BA helps repair that slowly. Not by asking you to make grand promises, but by giving you small chances to keep one.

A shower. A short walk. One meal. One text. One task done on purpose.

Repeated often enough, those actions start to say something different: I may still be struggling, but I am not absent from my own life.

That may be the most important thing BA offers in the long run. Not a perfect routine, and not a guarantee that every day will feel good. What it offers is a practical way to keep turning back toward life, even when the turn is small.

Useful sources for this section include:
https://www.elft.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2022-05/behavioural-activation.pdf
https://talkingtherapiessouthwark.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/1.-Introduction-to-BA-for-depression-revised-2021.pdf
https://www.gmmh.nhs.uk/behavioural-activation/
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng222/chapter/recommendations

 

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Choice, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Was I losing my mind?

1 Comment

My thinking started to change around the time that I found myself unable to execute simple activities, like getting out of bed.

I found that my mind was no longer calling the shots. All I wanted to do was sleep. Getting out of bed and going to work was the last thing I wanted to do.
That was then.
This is now.

“came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.”

In the second step we are reminded again that in order to begin the process of recovering from our sadness we begin to look into our lives where we need to find our sense of self and our power.

Our depression used to be our power in that it kept us shackled in depression, a veritable prison of despair and isolation. Now we see that the light is about to shine on us and we can develop our belief in a power greater than ourselves who will deliver us for hope.

To believe that I might gain deliverance from my depression is something that I am beginning to live with for the first time in years. I want to believe that with time, work amid discussion, I will
free myself from this depression.

I need now to write down a list of the things I want to believe in for the present and future so that I might hope that my life will be different.”

Copyright (c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Hugh S

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Courage, DA Literature, Faith, Fellowship

Starting a Depressed Anonymous face to face meeting

3 Comments

Perhaps you wish that there was a face to face Depressed Anonymous meeting where you live. There is a solution to that – start one! Here are some pointers that I can share from my experience starting a face to face meeting in my area.

  1. Find another person willing to commit to start a meeting with you
    Of course you could start the meeting on your own it is helpful to share the load with others.
  2. You and others make a time commitment to run the meeting
    I would suggest that make a commitment to yourselves that for a period of time (3-6 months) that even if no one shows up you will run the meeting. This meeting is starting through the force of your and your partners will. You’re not committing forever but rather for that time period. As that time period comes to an end hold a group conscience meeting with the group to determine its future.
  3. Find a place and time to host your meeting
    It could be a church basement, a recovery center, or any place you can secure a room at low or no cost. I recommend that you have a recurring day and time for your meeting so that people can expect you to be there. A meeting that doesn’t have a set time and place is very difficult to build support over time.Try to find a place with a very low cost as you will need to front the money to pay for the first month/week. Some recovery centers price on a sliding scale – the recovery center by me wanted 50% of your 7th tradition contributions. The benefit of this approach is that there is no up front expenses and while your membership is small in the beginning the cost of the room will also be small.
  4. Schedule a launch date/time
    Pretty self explanatory.
  5. Do public outreach
    Announce the meeting at other 12 Step meetings. Although technically you will be violating that other fellowship’s traditions mention that death by suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US and many people with addictions are also depressed.

    I collected all the mental health provider addresses from the web portal for my health insurance. You will be sending them a physical letter (the email address will not be posted on the web portal). Initially when I performed that search I found over 200 entries – that amount of postage was more than I was willing to front. I looked at the data and decided that I would only send a letter to those addresses with two or more mental health providers and that list was approximately 45 – a much more bearable financial burden.

    Get the postal addresses of the rehab centers in your community and send letters to them as well.

    Get the addresses of your local county mental health offices and send letters there as well.

    Find community centers and businesses with physical bulletin boards that would be willing to post your flyer announcing your meeting.
  6. Decide on a format for your meeting
    Are you going to be a meeting where you read from Depressed Anonymous literature? Or is the meeting going to be a topic discussion meeting? If it is going to be a literature meeting you will need to have at least one copy of the literature you will be using (textbook, workbook, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, other).

    As your group collects 7th Tradition donations you may want to buy additional copies so that multiple attendees could read.

    Write a first draft of the chairperson script which at the least should start with a moment of silence or a short prayer, reading the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous, then describing the format of the meeting.
  7. Have and run the first meeting
    Read your chairperson script. Run the meeting. The meeting doesn’t need to be perfect.
  8. As your commitment time draws to a close hold a group conscience discussion
    As stated in number 2 above you (and partners) decided to run the meeting regardless of support. As that time comes to an end you must be ready to turn the fate of the meeting over to the group. Should the group continue? Who can volunteer to lead meetings? Does the format of the meeting work for the group?

That’s the guide as a nutshell. Don’t take the guide as the only way to do it – it is merely one way that happened to work for me. If it doesn’t fit your needs tailor it to your needs.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Fellowship, Honesty, Hope, Positivity, Purpose

Crosstalk: What is it and Why we don’t do it at Meetings

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Come to Depressed Anonymous meetings and you will hear “there is no crosstalk at this meeting but members can comment directly to speakers in the chat.” The online dictionary says: Crosstalk is giving advice, criticizing or making comments about what others have already shared; questioning or interrupting the person speaking or talking while someone is sharing. Another definition which is exceedingly compelling is crosstalk is described as “casual conversation.”

What do we talk about at Depressed Anonymous meetings? There is quite a broad spectrum through the challenges and positivity, deep heartfelt experiences/feelings. We “tell on ourselves” revealing things that we would rather not be known of us yet, that is a power in dissolving shame and fear. Simple listening becomes a blessing of insights and enlightenment, simply by hearing each other. We talk “program talk” and that is not casual conversation. We learn to live one-day-at-a-time. It is not easy though it has been called “simple.” To turn the page on negativity, low energy, despair, hopelessness and choose gratitude, action and positivity is definitely not easy. Yet we are rewarded with the prospect of continuing future growth, freedom from depression. Oh, it may most certainly not be every day and moment but we hear and learn, learning as children do by repeating for our own selves what we hear has worked for our companions. We get a boost, a glimmer: “What a relief, I can get better.” After all, we come here to get better, to learn and practice the tools and develop skills to get better. Then we get to reveal the true person we really are and shed the mistaken identity falsely projected onto the screen of our minds by Depression. And the one price of admission: the desire to stop saddening ourselves. The sharing we hear may be baffling, intense, stressful. There may be heartbreak, trauma. But here we divide our sorrows and when we share our victories and gains, we double our joys. Because we are witnessed and witnessing with open hearts, with loving attention and care. That is the DA Difference, to meet each other with open hearts, loving attention and care. We see each other improving, we see ourselves with time and patience and practice, improving. We hear “I haven’t been depressed since coming to DA…” “I come to meetings, work the steps, I got a sponsor… I am getting better too.”

These are not casual conversations. No No! these are sacred words of truth, hope, light, love spoken then integrated in mind-heart-spirit. Individually and collectively, we improve. Sooner and later, we improve.

This sharing is not casual conversation. We mute ourselves when not speaking and even though we may heartily agree with what is being said, there is no “yes,” “Ah-ha,” “mmm.” There is no murmuring, no background noise because to glimpse and catch Higher Power’s idea for ourselves, well, these are flashes of silent-robed listening, devoted conscious attention.

We are hearing brilliant and commonplace miracles, they may be cloaked in tedium. Spirit is expressing through each one. With that comes great hope, great empathy, great informing of heart-mind-soul. There is IGNITION. Aeronautically speaking, “We have liftoff, Houston.” With each other, our meetings, our Twelve Steps, we spark the will to live as our true selves. We receive Grace, we Surrender, we take the Action and our stories of the miracles of living 24-four-hour days each day arise. Get ready: Hope is stoked, The Lights are On. We shine for ourselves, we shine for each other.

Doreen K, in Boston, MA January 2025

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship

Third Depressed Anonymous Conference announcement

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The Third Depressed Anonymous Conference will be held on Saturday 14 September 11:00am-4:00pm ET.

Same Zoom link. The conference will preempt the normal 12:30pm ET meeting.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8515933239?pwd=YlhQMW5RdVRwUzJWTzRJT0IwdU4rQT09

Theme: Using Mutual Support to move towards Courage to Change

We are looking for volunteers to chair each session. A decision will be made early September who will be speaking.

Send your name or nominations to Bill – riedyw@gmail.com

12 Step Meeting, Act As If, Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Meditation, Purpose

The Bright Light of Hope

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If we have worked the 12 Steps on a daily basis, we now realize the value of surrender and the power that releases in us, just by making a decision in Step Three to “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God” is the beginning of reconnection with life and ourselves. It is in the group that the depressed person begins trusting their members where they have admitted that their lives are unmanageable, and that they have made a conscious decision to turn their lives over to God, or the Higher Power. The Twelve Step program helps people to become God conscious. It is in working the program while making no excuses for the spiritual nature of our recovery, we can begin to attribute our new-found sense of hope and peace to the Higher Power. For the active member of Depressed Anonymous there begins to glimmer in the distance, the bright light of hope.

Submitted by Janet M.