All posts by hopeservicefellowship

Compulsion, Higher Power

WORKING IT OUT

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CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Our feelings expressed and positively received by the group allow us then to focus on the way we think about ourselves, and make it possible for us to parent ourselves instead of  continually seeking out the lost unavailable parent in the guise of multiple sexual relationships, alcohol, gambling, and any of the many other compulsions that are used  to fill the void in our lives.

Practicing  the  program enables  us to be used by the Higher Power to do the most good that we can and which our Higher Power wants us to do.”

In the Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville., in the section relating to Step number 11, (Page 80) read the following statement  and respond with your own answers to questions about what you are doing now that you were not doing before you came into the Depressed Anonymous group?

“I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to “live without it.” It is truly living in the will and mind of God that will help us, one day at a time to stop being so compulsive in our rigid and automated thinking about people and things so that we do not let our dated emotions and thoughts predict what the outcome of our perceptions ought to be.” (See Page 95 in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

For best results in working out a gradual release from the darkness of the depression is to use the WORKBOOK and 3rd edition of DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS together. We call this the HOME STUDY KIT. Please VISIT THE STORE here at our website (www.depressedanon.com)  for more information about the  literature that is now available.

Belief

I now am conscious of a new path out of my misery

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In our book, Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression (2014) we learn that there is a path that will lead us out of the prison of depression. We know from experience that once we begin to take this path, walk it, step by step, that we will find ourselves gradually leaving behind our misery. Our sense of personal worthlessness will disappear and the courage  to confront our selves will grow stronger with each effort at stepping onto a path with its daily pointing toward hope.

How do I know this to be true? I know it to be true because I myself have walked the path and continue to walk it everyday of my life. I show others how to walk the path and many reach the same point of hope as did I. But let’s be straight about the way we get on this path. First of all, we have to admit that we have a need for this journey of hope. The alternative is potentially deadly. Just by admitting that I was powerless over my depression and that my life had become unmanageable put my feet on the path. I had to choose: take the first step or not take the first step. I took the step forward. The further I moved along the path of hope the further back was the misery that held me in its tight grasp. Now when a difficult situation appears on my path I deal with it effectively and move on.  I believe that with my own growing confidence, with a group of persons like myself who want to make the trip with me, will lead out of the twisted thinking  that kept me confused and helpless. No more.

If you too want to join me on the path of hope, give us a call (502) 5691989 or email us (depanon@netpenny.net) and we can tell you  how you too can have the same positive results in your own life that  those of us who chose hope instead of misery.

Thank you.

Hugh

Fear, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, The 12 Steps

When I run from my fearful feelings I know they have already caught me in their web!

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A Higher Thought for Today

” I am going to feel my emotions today and refuse to run when I begin to feel sad and uncomfortable.

Accepting a depression is the opposite of being victimized by it, since it is a choice not to run in panic, not to be frightened into virtual paralysis.  Think of it this way: When we are truly afraid, we can in no way be said to accept our fear; the minute we do, the fright eases. So with depression. When we accept it, the terror lessens.

I used to stuff my feelings when I ran into a situation that frightened me. I also would refuse to experience any emotion that would cause me to feel uncomfortable. I am finding that the more I express myself and share with others the feelings of sadness which seemed to have plagued me since birth, the more I feel cheered and hopeful.  The opposite of fear is faith.  In this program of recovery I need to keep in touch with my Higher Power and keep a daily dialogue going with this Power so that I will continue to grow in hope and health.  Fear keeps depression alive and growing. My faith allows me to risk a life without sadness  even though my inclination is to seek the comfort of the unchanging sadness.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship

Trick or treat? Last night it was goblins, monsters and everything in between. It was Halloween.

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Halloween ( the word Halloween is from an earlier  period of time and means hallowed eve. In the Christian Church all Saints were honored the day before–thus, the ” eve”  part.)  Nowadays, this night is filled with children (and adults) dressed up   as various personages, animals and everything  in between. All of them had their little baskets and hoping to get them filled with candy, cookies and assorted sweet treats. Judging from all who came to our door last night I would say the evening turned  out to be a treat. No tricks!

When I was trying to navigate through the fog of  my depression a number of years ago, there were no treats –no special happy moments–nada! The whole  landscape of my life was filled with “emotional landmines” and  the mind with its delusions and illusions  tried to trick me into thinking I would always live in this  pit of darkness. But as soon as I began to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I found answers to my  unending trapped feelings.  The answers were not of the treat variety, but they gradually removed the bricks/tricks that formed the prison of my depression. No more was I forced to wear the false face of the smiling, happy-go lucky person.  No more was I the people pleaser, subservient to all who were part of my daily struggle. No, I now filled my futile days with practical ways which I learned how  to leave the sadness behind. I found the way out through the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous, and my newly discovered support group. No more tricks. No more days begun in a fog and ending in a fog. I Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understood God to be.

Everyday I treat myself to doing God’s will and believing that something good will happen for me this day What’s it going to be for you today? Trick or treat?

Source: (C) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the  prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Higher Power, Mindfulness

Today is all that I have

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Simple enough. All I have is this 24 hour period staring me in the face.  What to do with it? Well, for one thing I am about ready to go to my work. A few people are there waiting for me to help them with various activities.  Each day is a little different. Each day I encounter various persons with various needs.  All of my encounters  starts with a greeting and a smile. You see, I spend most of my day interacting with persons who live in a nursing facility. I know most of them by name and so I spend a little bit of time sharing with them about the day ahead as well as how their day is going.  Because of their own response to their dementia of one kind or another, and living in the moment, they assure me with their smile that they are doing OK.

The amazing characteristic of dementia is that you live in the moment. The present, as the word can denote, is truly a present from God. This is the only place I can live–in the now. Yesterday is really gone forever–can’t bring it back  (only by memory as faulty as it may become)  and tomorrow isn’t  here yet. Obviously, the only place to live is here, now, today, these next 24 hours.

Am I living in the present or is my mind onto to something I have to do tonight? Or after lunch?  I think you get the message. My thought is that when I meet a friend (resident) in the nursing home I am going to be really present to them and  have all my attention focused on the person. It is going to be an I-Thou relationship. It is as only the person that I encounter is the only person with whom my entire attention is given.  And at that moment something special takes place–two people become as one–joined together in the communicating  of a true and present relationship. Both of us are now in each others presence — in the now –fully  being the loving  person that God desires all creation to be —aware that we are all together in this. Today is all I have to make this relationship grow, in this manner, in this time, with this person.

The Promises

“We find ourselves enervated and weakened…” But hope is Promised!

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Promise # 3 of 13  continued: “We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”   The following is a continuation from the previous statement concerning Promise # 3.

“When we suppress a negative emotion and refuse to deal with it, either consciously or unconsciously, it becomes one of those blocks that form  the walls of our personal prison. These unexpressed emotions can fester and boil over so that our energy level is dissipated, scattered. We find ourselves enervated and weakened. We discover that with the internal war raging inside of us we can hardly find the energy to get to work and roll ourselves out of bed a morning.  We no longer have the freeing feeling of spontaneity in our lives.

We discover that our ability to make ourselves do something is now beyond our personal strength and power. We have become helpless.

We also discover that we are powerless. Our will power has no control  over this depression.

But how do we know that this particular Promise will come true for me?  What we can rely on is our own experiences.  Our experiences tell us that the more we live in the solution of the Promises of Depressed Anonymous the more serenity and peace will be ours. We have discovered that it is when we begin to live in the solution and not focus on our problems that will lead us past the fear of what might happen to the serenity of the present moment.  We no longer wait  with trepidation for the other shoe to drop. Our freedom begins when we start to reflect consciously on what is happening now at this very moment. I have noticed that it is when I become conscious about what I am feeling now is the direct result of my  thinking which enable me to make  the conscious decisions to bring myself back to the present.”

SOURCES: (c)  I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 35-36.

(c)  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville

 VISIT THE STORE for more literature dealing with the Steps and Depression..

The Promises

DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PROMISE # 4: We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it!

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This does not mean that “oh well” we made some mistakes so let’s just forget about everything that happened in the past –after all it’s in the past.

We can spend a lot of wasted time wallowing in the self-pity that occupies any addiction. We also might regret all the time we wasted staring at the blank wall, alone and trying to figure out in the circling of our thoughts the why of our immobility, passivity  and pain.”

More of Promise #4  To  tomorrow —

Sources:  Depressed Anonymous,  3rd edition.  (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

     I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER.  (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Fellowship, I'll Do It When I Feel Better

PROMISE # 5 of Depressed Anonymous: “No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experience can benefit others.”

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Some of us have attempted suicide. A few of us more than a few times.  We had despaired of ever finding peace or hope.  We believed that we had no future and that our yesterdays were as hopeless as our today’s. It was hard to attend our  first Depressed Anonymous meeting.  We felt horribly alone. We just know that no one in the group has been through what we had been through. But as we listened and watched the older members of the group speak we saw ourselves in their stories.

Personally, I believe that whatever you give out to others is the amount that comes back to you. Our experience can usually help someone else.  As the experience of depression is so isolating, so predictable in its misery  that it is bound to have made such impression upon us that it changed out life and the way we think about our life. And then when our life is changed for the better —thanks to the fellowship of DA, this precious gift  of hope needs to be with those still suffering. Ironically, it appears that the farther we have gone down in mood and up again in our recovery the more powerful can this experience be.

The new members of the our fellowship see the “after” of our lives lived in recovery and so they themselves get involved in our fellowship. The fact that we have recovered so completely is in itself a message of tremendous hope for those who are newcomers to the group. Isn’t it amazing that those who can do the most for those still suffering are those who have worked themselves out of the pit of isolation and begin sharing their story of hope and personal empowerment.”

SOURCE: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 39-40.

The Promises

Promise # 11: I can live in hope and not despair

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Promise # 11 of the Promises of Depressed Anonymous shows us that with work and  a commitment to oneself that I will leave the prison of my depression.

Starr tells us in her personal story in Depressed Anonymous that it was when she opens up and shares her story with others in the group that she feels relief.  It was here that  she learns how to handle situations that at one time  baffled her. We all have learned that whether we share in a face – to – face group or online, our ability to trust others begins to grow.  We begin to feel empowered. We now know almost intuitively that trust of others can lead to trust in ourselves. We tell ourselves If others can grow and get well so can I. We also find ourselves doing less and less of the self-bashing that we once did. Now we find that we  can be free of the prison that we have constructed,.Our negative feelings about ourselves get gradually replaced by feelings of positive regard.  We find that the guilt and shame that once shadowed our every move  now begin to be diminished. How is this?  It happens because someone like ourselves has shown us that we too can live without depression.  We have become believers in what can be done with hope, work and time.

SOURCE: I ‘LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2014)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, The 12 Steps

Promise # 11. “Intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.”

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As my mind began to heal and my thoughts became more lucid it became apparent  that something inside of myself was changing. Depression, when you begin to examine the various symptoms up close and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Some say that depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought  into play to defend  us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or that one feels abandoned. We have become so at one with our love object, that we mourn the death of part of us.  The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependence today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression. The symptoms proved to be baffling. I was not able to get out of bed as well as being unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought.  I began to worry that I was losing my mind and I often asked myself if I was going to survive. But now my ability to handle situations in a meaningful way is due to my  frequent attendance at meetings, and by making a daily time for prayer and meditation and feeling that my life has purpose and meaning.  The more I am physically active  and going to meetings even when I don’t feel like it. Working on my Depressed Anonymous Workbook, reading my Twelve Step literature. The behavior is where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy at times, but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that depression was not so powerful now as to prevent me from even thinking that I could choose to feel differently.”  (Read more tomorrow on Promise # 11.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) I’LL DO  IT  WHEN I FEEL BETTER.  (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 50-51.