All posts by Hugh Smith

The Promises

How can I recover from depression?

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The following is an excerpt from the Promises as presented in The Promises of Depressed Anonymous: Planting a seedbed of Hope. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

# 1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through.

“Working the Twelve Steps is like the person who heads toward the light at the end of the tunnel. The closer one gets to the light – the more one discovers the way out.
The light in this case is symbolized by the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. The expression of light, health and recovery of its members helps each of us to stay focused on recovery. Work has to be done if we are to find not only the light – but a life free from the symptoms of depression. Change is painful! The 1st step is really the beginning of the end of our pain. By admitting that we are in pain is that which paradoxically begins the release of our pain. This is the paradox of letting go and holding on as we learned from Step Three. What we hold onto holds onto us. What we seek- seeks us.
It is difficult for any of us to admit that our lives are out of control.
People sometimes speak of their depression as a comfort. I can identify with that, because if they were top feel anything else, they might end up in the hole of the doughnut.
The pain of depression begins to dissolve as a result of doing something we have never done before.
It happens to be true that the more we get in touch with and remove our resentments, fear, guilt and self-pity from our lives, the lighter we feel emotionally. The less need we have to rely on our defense mechanisms which shielded our fragile egos from pain, hurt or remorse, the freer we become.”

RESOURCES

COPYRIGHT(C) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pgs. 1-2.
COPYRIGHT (C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition(2011. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 109.

Higher Thoughts for Down Days

Do I value myself?

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“I am convinced that when I am depressing myself, that is, talking to myself and telling myself how bad and unacceptable that I am, I probably come across to others in in the same manner. When I try to please people I seem to be more depressed than before. I want to have other’s approval so much because I don’t really have a self that I can approve. It is only when I begin to value myself that other’s may or may not approve of me. When I begin to look on myself more positively, it will be alright with me, if someone disapproves of me.
The more I value myself, my word, and my future, the more my depression is gradually diminished. ”

Resource

(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. October 20. page 172.

Acceptance

I Was Accepted

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Have you ever went to a meeting where for you it was the first time. It could be a little scary –I know that it was for me.

In our group manual, Depressed Anonymous, I would like to share with you his feelings on going to his first Depressed Anonymous meeting.

Here is what he shares with us in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous(Page 133).
“So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.”

When he entered through the door of the Depressed Anonymous meeting it opened a new way of living for him. It changed his life. He found hope. He found that he was accepted by total strangers. The miracle of the group was that he was able to feel at home. He was given a recovery program for his everyday life.

The wise Rabbi Nachman shares with us the truth, “All new beginnings require that you unlock a new door.”

And the key which unlocks the door is a belief that just possibly I can get better. Ray tells us how he was somewhat scared, he pushed on, entered into a group where he was not only accepted but one where he found hope and an ever accepting fellowship.

RESOURCE

(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY P.133).

Depressed Anonymous, Step 09

Success should be replaced with the ideal of service. – Albert Einstein

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SERVICE
Reflections about service on Step Nine of the Twelve Steps.

“One of the better ways to make amends is to commit yourself on a daily basis to helping other members of the Depressed Anonymous group to find peace and serenity. It is when we each begin to take responsibility and control over our lives and quit blaming the weather, other people, ourselves, institutions, or our jobs for our sadness that we begin to feel whole in recovery”.

“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people around us. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fill the bill at all. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning that our creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindness and love.”

REFLECTION
How do we plan to be of service to our fellow members today and a Newcomer to our fellowship?

RESOURCE(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd Edition(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 88.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

Three important questions to ask yourself

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WHO AM I?
WHAT DO I WANT?
WHO IS MY GOD?

One excellent way for any of us depressed to discover the answers to these questions is by using the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. There are over 200 questions, with each Step having its own questions. I have realized by using this format, that I needed to look more deeply into who I think I am, what I want and who is my God?

In other words, it is by asking ourselves questions, those of which we might never have thought to ask – especially in times of feeling alone and isolated.

You can also learn more about how Depressed Anonymous uses these Step questions in their group discussions on SKYPE. A question asked and the answer given can many times release positive results. I have this hope for you as well.

See more about this Workbook at https://depressedanonymous.org/fellowship/depressed-anonymous-literature/#da-workbook. You can use this Workbook for your own personal study as well. It has helped me continue to discover more about what my “ultimate concern” is for my own life.

Hugh

Stinking Thinking, Stress

Manage your stress

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During these months of being cooped up during the pandemic it’s a good time for learning more about how to manage our stress. Depression and stress go together.

Take a look at the TOOLS FOR RECOVERY at the Home Page menu and see how they may be a source of help for you in your own life. There are many tools listed here and we encourage all to try them on for size. I hope they work for you as they did for me.

Hugh for the Fellowship

Hope, Step 12

You can be the “good news” of hope for a person depressed

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HERE IS YOUR HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY

AFFIRMATION

I want to carry the message of hope to those others who are depressed.

Quoting Dr. Dr. Dorothy Rowe who tells us “what I so often said, that the best way that depressed persons can help themselves is to help one another. Form a group, get to know one another, support one another.”

REFLECTION

They also think that all I have to do is just be cheerful and my mood will automatically change. It’s like telling someone to stop their diarrhea as if they have control over it. My depression took time to develop so it will take time and work to remove. The people who are the most support are those who have been depressed themselves, they won’t tell you to snap out of it.

I best support myself when I find other people like myself and try and help them. Form a group, get to know one another, support one another.

MEDITATION
“God grant us the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.” (The Serenity Prayer recited at all Depressed Meetings.)

RESOURCES
(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. (Reading for October 7th.).
(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

* All Depressed Anonymous publications are available for purchase online.

Anger, Fear

Anger Worry Fear Guilt

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Today I would like to share some thoughts and reflections from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook (the same one used for the Online Depressed Anonymous meetings at SKYPE).

On page 77 @ question 10.18 this question is asked of the participants: “list the various ways that you plan to remove your most frequent unpleasant emotion? Write down your strategy.”

If we are following the work in the Workbook, we have already spent a good amount of time and energy reflecting upon our own anger, worry fear and guilt. We know how all these emotions and moods have a large role to play in our own experiences with depression.

Step 10 states that we “continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Our Depressed Anonymous manual speaks to us about taking responsibility for our recovery from depression.

“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention. As we get into a discussion with others in the group who are depressed – much like ourselves- we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on their own behalf. These people who are doing better are also talking about taking charge of their lives and doing things for themselves instead of constantly trying to please others.” (You can find this quote on page 107 in the Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.)

A potent strategy is suggested in our DA book (Page 110): “Promptly forgive yourselves! Promptly tell a friend, DA group member, coworker, spouse, that you are now trying to live one day at a time, one hour at a time and are depending on the Higher Power to give you the courage to risk thinking hopeful thoughts which have the power to lead yourself back into the community, the family and among friends. Develop a gratitude attitude and thank God for today! This day is all we have. Get involved in your own healing. Start to take on the attitude that if other people can make it so can I. It’s true – you can make it if you follow the program.”

Join with us every day at SKYPE. See Home Page menu items for MEETINGS times and places. You’ll be happy that you did!!

RESOURCES
(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

12 Step Meeting, Fear, Hope, Mutual Aid

The Covid-19 and its effect on a pre-existing clinical depression

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

Since we believe that depression just doesn’t come out of the blue, but stems from our relationship to the environment, our past and present relationships and NEGATIVE ruminations and self-talk.

For instance, the pandemic is a good place to start to untangle some of those underlying conditions which keep popping up in our daily lives. The covid-19 continues to create havoc, fear and anxiety in ourselves and communities. The more isolated we are from our normal life activities the more time we spend on all the negativity that continues to envelope us.

Anxiety and fear, both of which are some of those feelings and moods which may have contributed to our depression in the first place. Feelings can change from one to the other while moods are longer lasting with an ability to spiral down deeper in our psyche, resulting in an emotional lockdown. We can couple this with a fear that our life is spinning out of control, as our mind continues latching onto the worse possible scenario for our future, throwing more fuel on the fire, believing that life will always be this way for ourselves. We continue to live in total hopelessness.

And then the pandemic. Here we are, away from all the normal activities that once provided us with some temporary distraction from our fears and anxieties. It’s not as if we didn’t continue to feel the pain of living a life of isolation, holed up in the darkness of our own paralyzing moods, day after day, but now that we are cut off physically from friendships, co-workers, close friends or family members, our isolating pushes our negative moods further down. All this comes with a strong possibility that the virus may have claimed the life of a family member or grandparent or close friend or co-worker.

My own feelings, are the same basically of everyone else. Here we are, gradually realizing that this is now the “new normal” for each of us. We come to realize that we need to step back, and look at where we are today – and face our fears and anxieties. The question arises as what do I do now? Let me share with you my own experiences as my own life is turned upside down.

Because of my involvement in a mutual aid group, Depressed Anonymous, I am able to leave some of the pain of my isolation, join with all those others like myself who together are giving each other hope. All of us can share – not just our own pain of isolation – but ways to deal with and encourage each other with the successes we have experienced in facing our own fears and anxiety now and in the past.

As we try to navigate this “new normal” as best we can, we discover together how we are helping each other, day after day find a real lifeline – even though a virtual one. I am making this path work for myself, actively participating with the rest of the group, finding that my anxieties have diminished. By being in the now and being part of this mutually support group I am finding that there is a way out. I no longer am going to stay isolated.

“There is hope…and we do recover.” Please join us on SKYPE AND ZOOM – there are meetings on SKYPE every day at 11:30AM CST / 12:30PM EST. See Home page menu for DA meetings for more information). This is located at our website depressedanon.com.

Finally, one of our resources is the Depressed Anonymous Workbook that we use at our meetings, helping us to uncover some of our “underlying conditions” that existed prior to the present pandemic.

Presently our contacts with family and friends are stretched thin. Everything that makes us a human being, those live social encounters that provided us with joy, comfort and hope. We all have lost that shoulder to shoulder feeling and the hugs and smiles that gave us hope. Now the new normal is social distancing six feet apart. People older-stay home. Wear mask. I agree with all those solutions to staying safe.

It is here at our virtual online Depressed Anonymous meetings where we share and strengthen our resolve, uncovering those areas of our lives (thinking, feelings, moods, behaviors) that prohibit our personal growth and happiness. Now we are replacing our hopelessness and helplessness with hope and help everyday online.

The Depressed Anonymous fellowship is a potent provider of self-discovery as we move from one Step to the other at our meetings using the Workbook format. It is here in this virtual environment where we not only can take the time to listen to others in the group about their own issues, but listening as well to their many responses to how hope and healing have given them a new freedom, a new self-confidence while being provided a self-discovery tool, the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. This tool, with the Depressed Anonymous manual is used at every meeting.

If you are interested in a HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY you can learn more about this process of recovery from our website.

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook and Depressed Anonymous manual are also both available online as eBOOKS from Depressed Anonymous Publications.

YOUR HOPE IS OUR HOPE!

Hugh for the fellowship