All posts by Hugh Smith

Compulsion

The Steps had to be the key to get me out of this prison

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As a new member of Depressed Anonymous, Linda knew that she:

would have to work very hard, because you really have to fight depression – negative thoughts replaced by positive thoughts – action to create motivation. Most of all, I had to surrender to God, quit controlling everything and everyone, including God. Let go and let God. So I started reading the Twelve Steps. At first, I was really rebellious, so much so that I didn’t go back to the group for two weeks. I was too depressed, but inside I knew the Steps had the key to get me out of this prison. They pointed me to my Higher Power, which unashamedly is Jesus Christ. (‘Made a decision to turn my life and will over to the care of God as I understand God’ – Ed.) Now I attend every meeting, sharing the things I learned and the times I fall (which are still quite a few) into depression. But it is working, and I could not be writing this right now if it was not for the love and the support of these very special people. As a matter off act, I told them once a week was not enough for me. The leader suggested that I start another one, which is just what I have done. I now attend the meetings twice a week – twice is nice.

– Linda

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. © 2011, Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville KY
Personal stories #6. I was a compulsive over – eater, pages 116-117

Fellowship

Does being hopeful mean taking risks?

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Hope can exist only in a state of uncertainty.
That certainty means total certainty That security means to be without hope.
The prison of depression is built with the bricks of total certainty.
Certainty. Security. No hope.
To hope means to run the risk of disappointment.
Avoid disappointment. Stay depressed.
To be insecure means to not be in control.
Stay in control. Be depressed.
To be uncertain means to be unsure of the future.
Predict the future with certainty. Stay depressed.
Hope can only exist where there is uncertainty. Absolute certainty means complete hopelessness. If we want to live fully we must have freedom, hope and love. So life must be an uncertain business. That is what makes it worthwhile.

Source: Depression: The way out of your depression. D. Rowe. 1996. (2nd Ed.)

Hope is to seek things and have the expectation that what we desire will come true. In the matter of depression, Dr. Rowe warns us that when we predict that we will ways be the way we are is to predict a life of uncertainty but one that is without hope. In the reality of the way we construct our world we begin to live with some uncertainty and with the uncertainty we are going to little bit by little bit accept some pain, hurt and disappointment in our lives. This is not bad but it is not always pleasant. When we are depressed it is not so important always as to how we got to be depressed but what is important, is how we see our depression. Do we believe, like Dorothy Rowe, that we will always see ourselves as bad, worthless, unacceptable to ourselves and to others, when we are depressed. If this is the way that we want to look at ourselves then we are sure to believe that we will never change. We hold these beliefs about ourselves as immutable truths –absolute and ever binding. This is the thing about depression – we believe that it will always be this way–namely being possessed by this hollow feeling and deadly emptiness which we carry around in our bodies, day after day, year after years.

Our identity as persons depressed is to believe that we are always going to be the way we are now and be depressed forever. We know that it won’t always have to be this way. Our identity is that of a free agent who has the option to choose misery for the rest of their lives or to choose hope and so live with some uncertainty that may bring us to a life filled with hope. The more we allow the feelings of pain and the unpleasantness of our feelings to surface the more we will live in uncertainty and hope. To live with uncertainty is to live with some hope that our tomorrow will be different than our today. We hope for things not yet seen. We hope for things to be different. This is the identity of a person who is working the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous. This person is the one who withholds judgment about whether this first Anonymous meeting is going to do any good for them. This is where they learn how to cope. They hear other members of the group tell them that they have to keep coming back to the meetings if they are to get help and find release from their feelings of despair.”

Source: How to hope and let it blossom. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (1999). Louisville. Ky.

For more helpful literature on depression and 12 Step spirituality please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Online purchases are possible.

12 Step Meeting, Kindness, Mindfulness

Today I am going to be active in my own recovery.

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“I believe that our involvement with people like ourselves in the group (Depressed Anonymous) can gradually broaden our perspective in the area of hope. We have to utilize new found tools that help us live with hope as well as enable us to learn that we have to be active in our own recovery. ”

Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. 2nd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

A person who wants to get active in their own recovery would do well to go to the Main Menu at depressedanon.com ( here) and check out the drop down menu at TOOLS OF RECOVERY. It is here that one can find many recommended ways and activities to begin the journey to freedom out of the prison of depression.

If not today, then when?

PS For more Information about Depression and the 12 Step program of Recovery go to DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS BOOKSTORE @ DEPRESSEDANON.COM

Fellowship, Mindfulness

Hibernation works for bears!

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One of the situations that develop for those of us who are depressed is to isolate. To hole up. To hibernate.  This of course works for bears –but just makes things worse for those of us who are depressed. Isolation from life causes a fracture–a disconnectedness from others and our daily activities. We find that we are gradually slowing down–withdrawing from others and choosing to be alone rather than being connected. Our minds  go round and round choosing to do nothing,  circling around like a dog chasing its tail,  rather than finding solutions. Basically, isolation is our solution.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

A mantra that needs repeating in our minds is to tell ourselves that we need to move our bodies if the mind is to break free from the chains of immobility. Move the body and the  mind will follow.  Once we have committed ourselves to   get physically moving the more the mind will challenge our isolation and inactivity. At first we will have that ongoing debate inside ourselves telling ourselves “I’ll do it when I  feel better.” I know,  I’ve been there.

I am going to keep myself physically fit.

“Keeping physically fit! It is a must for us, who are and who have been depressed.  Walking not only restores harmony to the body, it likewise restores my self-esteem and self-confidence.”

Try walking. It costs nothing. No gym fees or dues.  Walking can make a difference for those of us who find ourselves with our thoughts of suicide, despair and hopelessness. In the very act of walking, I move outside  the narrow and limited circle of my life and move into relationships with other people, places, and situations. Walking releases mood elevating chemicals in my blood  and like others, may cause me to feel a slight elevation of mood. Walking also helps distract me from the ever present round of negative thinking that continues to oppress me.

With time and perseverance, I discover that exercise not only reduces physical tension in my life, but it also makes it possible for me to feel better about myself.

For me to feel good about myself, I have to first want to like myself. I want to attempt to live just for today and not be concerned about what if this , or what if that happens. I am deciding today, that for me to feel better, I must get active and exercise.

God will help us and motivate us to get out into the world of fresh air and the diverse beauty of creation so that we may enjoy God’s goodness manifest itself all around us.

***

Please click onto the TOOLS FOR RECOVERY menu here at the website.  See items EXERCISE and BEING in NATURE.

SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days” 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.Ky. Pages 222-223. November 8.

  I’ll do it when I feel better. Depressed Anonymous  Publications.  Louisville.

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2018 Fall Newsletter

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The Antidepressant Tablet – Volume #2 – Fall 2018 Issue

The following are a few of the BLOGS from the past which I have selected to share with you in this FALL ISSUE. I hope you find their content helpful.

Thinking Unpleasant Thoughts Wear Me Out – Until I Did This

Just a note today to share with you something that you already know, namely, how the continuous thinking of unpleasant thoughts wears us out. One day, quite by accident I discovered a secret. I discovered how my mind was trying to fool me by making me believe that I was tired, worn out and needed to lie down and just sleep.

So again, I was wearing myself out with my gloom and doom thoughts when I believed I was too tired to do anything. I suddenly thought, “Hey, wait a minute, I don’t have to keep running from myself and let this fatigue force me down on my back.” So, what did I do? I went to my computer desk, and began to write. It was like driving through a blasting blizzard with nothing to be seen ahead of me except the hood of my car. I continued to write. The fatigue persisted. And then gradually with about ten minutes under my belt, my negative thoughts slowly replaced with thoughts focused on what I was banging out on my keyboard. I felt a resurgence of energy.

Now I wanted to continue to write. Gradually I began to feel the light of hope coursing through my arteries. It was like someone had turned on the light and gave me the secret to keep on my feet, so to speak, and regain the energy that I wanted to sleep away.

I distracted myself. I pulled away from the gloomy thoughts and focused all my attention on creating something brand new. I now know that I can walk away from that which would have continued to immobilize my desire to be free.

Try it. It works for me. It can work for you as well.
Originally published 1-8-2016

How To Live Outside The Box? The Depression Box

If you really want to begin to “live outside the box”, a description of what the box feels like and looks like might be helpful for you. First of all, a box has an identifiable shape. It is a box mainly because it contains something -whatever that something might be. And when we speak of the subject of depression, we talk about depression having us boxed in.

The box as it is used here, is a metaphor for feeling enclosed from which there is no exit. It is like being trapped or like in a prison. Now, in order to live outside the box we want to live creatively, which means that we are having to learn how to live outside the box. Now, if you find this hard to believe, I will explain what I mean.Just briefly, my own experience with depression can be used as an example.

First of all, when I was depressed, I thought that I was losing my mind. The box that I put myself in was getting more restricting by the day and making my life hell. I could see no way out. I was trapped. “What could I do?” I asked myself. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t just will these feelings and thoughts away – like taking a broom and brushing them out of my life. No matter which way I turned, I hit a wall. With no answers forthcoming on how to keep my head above water, my body slowly was being sucked down into the quicksand of despair. The thought came to me, much like that small glimmer, a tiny light so far away, but nevertheless a light. It was like the lighthouse which warns seafarers that rocks were nearby and to be watchful before approaching.

My mind began to race here and there for a way out of the box and suddenly it hit me – I needed to get moving. Move the body. Get busy. The key out of this prison was already in my hand. And now, those of us here in the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, who have been using “out of the box” ideas to work in our daily lives, want to share what has worked for us. We know if you actually use them for your own recovery, they are bound to ultimately free you. That is the promise I share with you today.The following activities, listed below, are some of the tools that will get you “out of the box” when you get serious about using them. I think taking a close and personal look at the following tools will not only help you get “out of the box” but can be tools that you will be able to utilize, day after day, as you continue your recovery.

  1. Exercise is a great tool if you happen to be depressed or not.
  2. Getting out into nature will also help put your mind on beauty andyour surroundings.
  3. Overcoming fear is also a great place to learn how to get out of the box. Learn about “first fear” and “second fear.” Fear does seem to be at the center of our life when depressed.
  4. Recite the Serenity Prayer as often as you need it.
  5. The Present. Staying in the now.
  6. Making use of the God Box. This is an exercise, a simple one at that, which helps us learn the discipline of “letting go”.
  7. Feelings need to be examined and expressed. We will look at why expressing feelings is so important, instead of having them bottled up and causing all sorts of physical and emotional problems.
  8. Disable negative thinking: learning how to short circuit negative thoughts when they pop into our minds.
  9. Reading Depressed Anonymous literature and all material on the subject.
  10. Learn how we all have choices. We make those decisions that bring us closer to freedom – not those that continue to imprison and box us in.
  11. Journaling is a great tool for writing down what has been our experience for the day. It helps to clarify our thinking and put things into perspective.

We can take our time to evaluate our response to each of the tools listed and so make our own notes as how to use these recommended ideas for our own recovery.”NOTE: At the site menu page (depressedanon.com) you can click onto the drop down menu TOOLS FOR RECOVERY to read more about the tools and how to use them.
Hugh
Originally published 1-17-2015

So Far Today!

So far today God, I’ve done all right’
I haven’t gossiped.
I haven’t lost my temper.
I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish.
I’m really glad of that.
But in a few minutes,
God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on,
I’m probably going to need a lot of help!

The World Of The “Selfie” Mirrors A World Of The Isolated And Disconnected

In our ongoing discussion of the ecology of the depression experience, and looking at the personal, biological and environmental facts that are each part of the whole, we are able to make some observations about how to overcome this human and life threatening reality. Environmentally, we have seen the post-industrial society, at least in America, become a nation of diminished size of families (1 in 4 Americans now live alone), fewer family farms and more persons living in isolated and disconnected environments. It appears that we all are moving away from that wholesome community form of life toward an individualistic and SELFIE generation. The “we” society is gradually turning into the “me” generation.To quote David Karp (Speaking of Sadness, Pg.195) he states:

The estimated 11-15 million people suffering from depression and the million more with anxiety disorders are the victims of a society that has lost sight of what I now see as a shared sociological and spiritual message. It is that our individual emotional health and health of society are inseparable. If we do not nourish society by revitalizing our individual responsibilities to it, we pay the price in terms of individual illness.

In this way, those millions pained by affective disorders are part of a dialectical process in which the extent of collective suffering eventually causes an urge to change the social structures that has made so many of us ill. During this current of cultural discontent we may be better able to appreciate the spiritual message that all of us are connected to and responsible to each other. Although we can never return to the small, intimate communities of the Nineteenth century, such a communitarian vision is the necessary starting place of efforts at social reconnection and thereby the creation of a more generally happy society.

In another place Karp contends “we may be at a juncture where we are ready as a culture to see the wisdom in the spiritual idea that our individual well-being is inseparable from that seamless web of connections…”At our Depressed Anonymous group fellowship meetings it is evident how the “we” trumps the “me” at every turn and how the “we” of the fellowship produces, not only societal recovery from isolation and being disconnected, it also provides the tools in which a community of people who care about each other is built. Won’t you care to join in this community building adventure? Search our website menu at depressedanon.com to find a Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community. If there was none, then you might want to check out the HOME STUDY PROGRAM from our website and determine if this would be an appropriate route to take for your own recovery.

You can also contact the author of this BLOG at Depanon@netpenny.net.
Hugh

Originally published 11-30-2015

TRUE OR FALSE

  1. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  2. My reality check bounced.
  3. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier!

Publication News

There are presently 4 individuals who are working with the Home Study Program of recovery: two in the USA, one in the Netherlands, a Step Study group (25 members) in Iran. See more information about the Home Study Program of Recovery from our website.

Also, good news for those who speak Spanish (1/3 of earth’s population is said to speak Spanish). Depressed Anonymous Publications is making it possible to have our Depressed Anonymous Manual, the 3rd edition, translated into Spanish. Hopefully, this work will be completed shortly after the New Year. The translator lives in Louisville and is a native of South American.

A DA member from the Netherlands is translating our work into Dutch so that she can share this program with those interested in her country. She is also working with a member of a 12 Step person from Portugal desirous of setting up an International DA Step Study SKYPE online group.

Our group literature is presently published in English, Farsi (Iran) and Russian (Ukraine).

Dep-Anon Family Group Manual: A Twelve Step Support Group For Families And Friends Of The Depressed

Dep-Anon is a support group for family and friends of the depressed. This program is similar to AL-ANON where family members gather to help each other learn how to detach and cope with a loved one’s alcoholism. In the same way, DEP-ANON is an effort of family and friends to gather together and learn to live with and cope with their loved one’s depression. Now is a good time, I believe, in the history of our 12 Step Fellowship to spend time refining and detailing strategies for helping family members and friends of the depressed to understand help support the depressed. In fact, the name chosen for this companion to Depressed Anonymous is DEP-ANON.

The recovery program of DEP-ANON is based on the 12 Steps and each step featured as an individual chapter in the DEP-ANON manual. A commentary is included for each Step for family members and friends to use in their group or as individuals. Also, each Step chapter concludes with a questions section providing material for group discussion.

An important note is that this seventy-seven Page manual was written and developed by two members of the DA fellowship. They came to Depressed Anonymous wanting to learn more about depression. One of the members lived with a depressed husband. The other member had a depressed daughter. By sharing together their experiences and applying the principles of the 12 steps to their situations, they came up with the idea for a DEP-ANON. We all are grateful for these two women for putting together a book that uses the 12 Steps of recovery for their own lives, friends and families of the depressed.

For recent and past issues of the Depressed Anonymous Newsletters, please click onto NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE at our website menu. Thank you.

CONTACT US AT:
Depressed Anonymous Publications
Website: depressedanon.com
Email : depanon@netpenny.net

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2018 FALL ISSUE OF THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET ( @Newsletter Archives)

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                                                                  2018 FALL NEWSLETTER

  ( Go to Newsletter Archives Menu for  articles)

ARTICLES

 1) Thinking unpleasant thoughts wears me out–Until I did this.

2)How to live outside the box? The Depression box.

3)So far today

4) The World of the “selfie” mirrors a world of the isolated and disconnected.

5) TRUE OR FALSE?

6) Depressed Anonymous Spanish edition  (2019)

7) Dep-Anon Family Group manual: A Twelve Step Support Group for Families and Friends of the Depressed. (Visit the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore)

Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power

This is what I need when I am depressed.

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What one needs when in  this situation  is someone to talk with, someone who will not give advice and produce solutions but who will help to unravel the complexity of one’s thinking and feeling and to look at positive alternatives, someone whose presence ensures that the isolation is not complete,.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

In order for someone to listen to me I have to have the courage to talk. Today, I am going to share as much of my pain and feeling isolated with a trusted friend. I might even make an appointment with a therapist. I know that the most important thing for me to do is to break out of my isolation of negative thinking and behaving and get close to someone who will listen to me but not judge nor give me advice such as “snap out of  it.

Admitting that I am depressed is the first step and best step to walking out of our isolation.”

SOURCE:  Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. November 4. Page 220.

Spirituality, Step 12, The 12 Steps

The Prompter

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The prompter  is a person who prompts; specifically one who cues performers when they forget their lines.  Other speakers use Tele-Prompters, which enables the speaker to read their  speech from a screen.

In the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, we  find ourselves listening to a spiritual Prompter —  an inner  voice, a Higher Power, providing us with a brand new line of thinking. An action oriented  prompt, where we come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves nudging  us to change the way we think and behave.

But who is this Prompter? What is its name? And why  am I hearing it’s voice now. I am hearing it now because I am ready to hear it. Fair enough?  I have surrendered.  Once beat down by my addictions, I now no longer follow the cues which produced for me  a life of negative moods and behaviors. I told the  God of my understanding that I’ve had it! No more beating myself up   with blame and  negative thinking.  Negative thinking  produced those painful  moods  spiraling me   down into feelings of hopelessness and depression.  I had the  feeling that all my efforts at finding hope were futile.

The  Prompter which I have been  listening to in the inner depths of my soul has been leading me towards serenity and filling me with a powerful meaning for my life. After having been introduced to the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps I continued to listen  to the Prompter in the quiet of those daily moments of meditation and prayer.

It was my decision to put my life on a brand new trajectory of wellness and healing. I had a spiritual awakening, ever so gradually. I just knew it was the Prompter itself who was placing a new life script into my heart.

Each and every day of my life I pray, I quiet the chatter in my mind, and draw near to the God of my understanding.   When we draw near to God, God draws near to us. What you seek, seeks you.

I believe that  my daily conscious contact with  God in prayer and meditation  I am able to  discover that we  are no longer dependent on our will but on God’s will for us. And just as Bill W  tells us  in Alcoholics Anonymous that when we are faced with the indecision about something, we then ask God for inspiration and we let go  of struggling for an answer.  He tells us that you will be surprised at how the right answers will come after we have practiced  this way of living. It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong. We also pause throughout the day when we are fearful, puzzled or anxious. We pray to the Higher Power for which direction to take. I like the suggestion the best when AA  says,” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self pity, or foolish decisions. We become more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we  are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves..”  (Depressed  Anonymous, Page 101).    We  all know that our new life script which  the Prompter has provided us  gives our life  direction and meaning.

Depressed Anonymous   shares with us Meister Eckart’s thoughts on that  Vital Spiritual Experience which comes to each of us when we surrender our lives and wills to the  God of our understanding.

“This work (birth), when  it is perfect, will be due solely to God’s action while you have been passive. If you really forsake your own knowledge and will, then surely and gladly  God will enter with his knowledge shining clearly. Where God achieves self-consciousness, your own knowledge is of no use, nor has it standing. Do not imagine that your own intelligence may rise to it,  so that you may know God. Indeed when God divinely enlightens you, no natural light is required to bring that about. This natural light must in fact be completely extinguished before God will shine in with his light, bringing back with God all that you have forsaken and a thousand times more, together with a new form to contain it all.” (Depressed Anonymous, Page 161).

“Made a decision to turn our will and lives   over to the care of God as we understand God to be.

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.  Page 101, 161.

Fellowship

The only person I can control is myself.

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The only person I can control is myself. I will keep the focus of my recovery on myself.

AFFIRMATION

“Admitting our helplessness, we can abandon our desperate attempts to control everybody and everything and simply ‘go with the flow,’ taking life as it comes. Many people emerging from depression or from a major trauma, do this when they  decide to take one day at a time.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am more convinced than ever that one of the best ways to get out of my depression is to live one day at a time. and to spend that day thinking thoughts that reflect hope rather than thoughts that spiral us deeper into sadness and despair.  I am much more in need of admitting that I am depressed instead of denying to myself and to others that everything is all right when it isn’t.

My recovery is a step-by-step process and I try to live one day at a time. My best recovery occurs when I am conscious how my depressed thinking distorts the way I look at the way I live out my life and I have to make the effort to think differently.

MEDITATION

We thank God for our lives and the opportunity that we have to come into conscious contact with this Higher Power who is now providing us with his love and his hope.

Source: (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY.  October 30.

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SAN JOSE DA MEETING/THIS SUNDAY NIGHT.

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Welcome to the new DA meeting   Sunday night in  San Jose, California

                                                     EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT

                                            Meeting place:  Alano  Club

                                                           TIME: 7 PM

                                               East 1122 Fair Avenue

                                                      San Jose, CA