All posts by Hugh Smith

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?

October 26, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“What is the power of Depressed Anonymous? Well, let me first say that when I started attending Depressed Anonymous meetings, I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad that I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six weeks of isolation, I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the Depressed Anonymous group where I attended answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason, it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next Depressed Anonymous meeting. After the meeting I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending that first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.”

–Ray

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky .

Fellowship

I never had a birthday party as a child

October 24, 2018 Hugh Smith 11 Comments

I think that it is hard to believe that any small child never had his or her birthday celebrated with candles, songs, friends and cake. In most cultures (if not all?) all children have parties to celebrate the fact that they are loved and prized. Some of my own birthday parties stand out as somehow more remembered than others. A lot had to do with the fact that I was remembered as someone special to my family and friends. Much of the talk at those parties, centered around our birth day itself, with Mom telling about her experiences on that day. I also love pictures of those childhood parties–showing candles being blown out and the receiving gifts from family and friends.

I want to quote from our manual Depressed Anonymous (pages 90) which relates how not receiving love and acceptance for who we are has for some led to those sad feelings of anger, and rejection when mention of children celebrating their own birthdays is illustated.

“Many times persons depressed find that the more they get in touch with their feelings, painful as they might be, the more they need to remain with the feelings and feel them. This is the beginning of getting free from their tyranny. We have to get in touch with our feelings of anger, sadness, and the fact of our denial that we have even experienced the fierce feelings of rejection so early in life. There may be some covered-over rage resulting from these unpleasant childhood experiences. It’s amazing to hear people say that as children they never had a birthday party. We know that sadness, guilt, shame and a few other losses coming at one time in our life, can slowly push us over the line as we find ourselves overwhelmed with stress and feelings of defeat. It’s this subtle feeling of being out of control that brings a deepening sadness we feel totally immobilized.

…(Many) times when we describe what we feel we begin to release in ourselves the feeling “stuck ” that keeps us in a mood of hopelessness.”

I can understand what a party which celebrates the fact that we are special and loved by others can do to our self-esteem. It just might cause us to prize ourselves and then to share who we are with others. I’m not saying that to have or not have a birthday party as we grow up makes all the difference in our lives. It’s just that it may give us the message that we are loved just as we are. To be prized and made to feel special can add a wonderful dimension to young lives.

The date of your birthday and how it is remembered is more than just another day on the calendar. It’s your day! You can ask your self “how was my last birthday” and how will it be different this year? Will my birthday be a day where I will reflect on all those persons in my life who I feel prized me for who I am? And are there certain persons who you will always feel a gratitude for their presence and love for you in good times and bad? Write down in your journal who these people are and what they mean to you today.

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, Honesty, Hope, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Was finding this phone number a coincidence?

October 23, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Helen shares her story about finding help–when she needed it most.

“I finally knew after two year or more of sleepless nights that someone had to help me. I found a card saying Depressed Center, in the back of the phone book. It has a phone number and that was all. I talked to a man on the other end of the phone. I said to myself this man is too busy to talk with me, but anyway I made the first appointment myself. I made myself go. I thank God I did. I thank God that I went for help. It was a whole new beginning for me. I wanted to get well so badly. I think people do have to want to change. I went in with an attitude that I have to get well. I had heard things about counselors that scared me, but this was just all the old negative feelings that caught up with me and boxed me in. I got better and started to think differently. I started to get rid of some of my negative thoughts. I began to feel better and I continued to see my counselor. I started in Depressed Anonymous some weeks later.”

If you are curious about how the mutual aid group changed Helen’s life you’ll need to read her full account in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, pages 169-172.

She also has something powerful to say about pleasing people and how she needed to get her priorities straight and begin taking care of herself.

Sources: Seeing is believing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017). Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

I’ll do it when I feel better.(2018) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY

Depressed Anonymous

FREE BEER TOMORROW!

October 20, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

How many times have we voiced the words “I’m gonna do this” or “I’m gonna do that?” One of my favorites is “I’ll do it when I feel better.” The problem with this statement is that I never feel better. The problem with all these statements of what we are going to do are filled with conditions. Or when I say I’m’ gonna do something , I always find some excuse not to do it.

We like to put off what we need most. I know that I really need to see a dentist, but I keep putting it off. I mean, who likes pain? Or I know that I need to talk to my sponsor, but I’d much rather just stay in bed and sleep off my sadness. My pillow is my counselor. I know I’m gonna go to a Depressed Anonymous meeting, as I promised my friend, but not tonight. I’ll tell him I’ll be there tomorrow, .

The problem here is that “one of these days ” is never today. We don’t want to live and be responsible for what happens to us today. We want to dwell in a past that we can never get back or the tomorrow which hasn’t come yet. It’s like the guy who goes into the local pub and he sees a huge sign on the wall with large red letters, ” FREE BEER TOMORROW!” “Wow” he thought to himself, “I’ll be back tomorrow .”

Sure enough, here he comes. He goes up to the bartender, points to the sign, and says “I’ll take one of those free beers.” The bartender smiles and tells him, “come back tomorrow. ” “But today is tomorrow” the guy tells the bartender. ” The bartender, puts his hands on the bar, slowly and emphatically telling the guy, “That’s tomorrow. Today is not tomorrow!” The bartender gives out with a laugh. The guy walks out of the bar and could be heard repeating “I get it, I get it.”

I will take care of what needs to be taken care of today–today is all I have.

Today is not tomorrow. Get it?

Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship

Thanks to Depressed Anonymous, I am a healer instead of being a victim.

October 18, 2018 Hugh Smith 1 Comment

“These Twelve Steps work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time. Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more and that we have withdrawn deeper into the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. There is something healing about hearing ourselves speak to others about our own journey in life an the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt that our lives were jinxed! But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings regularly, the more we will find members of the group telling us how they see a change in the way we talk, act and look. We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they al l have been where we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work this program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out to others in the group, it is at that point that you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed Anonymous.”

DA Literature, Focus

Life can be good for a change.

October 16, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go to counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must. I need them to survive. The support group’s members help each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and giving support on how to cope with depression. By letting my Higher Power help me, I am beginning to feel free from depression. I am not so nervous and tensed up. My Christian inner faith is getting stronger. I am not so stressed out and I am beginning to get confidence within myself. I still have trouble with sleep pattern and I am getting some motivation back. I have learned how to handle anxiety by taking deep breaths when I am nervous or troubled. This was suggested by my therapist. I also am learning how to stand up for myself.

All these tools have helped me and will continue to do so. They also taught me not to dwell on my past, to live life one day at a time, and to look toward the future, but not live there. It will take me a long time to deal with depression, but I am glad that these tools are available. Life can be good for a change. Please don’t give up.”

~ANONYMOUS

Anonymous, is one of the many persons who share their personal story of recovery in the group’s manual, Depressed Anonymous.

For more of her story and many others please go to The Depressed Anonymous Publications at www.depressedanon.com.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Hope

One picture is worth a thousand words!

October 14, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

The reason I started a Depressed Anonymous meeting in 1985 is because I knew that getting a meeting organized would be a help to those suffering from depression. I also know just like in any other 12 step fellowship group, power is in the group. Whatever the serious nature of the problem we face, a group of people who are on the same page, mentally, spiritually and physically, provides a healing atmosphere for the participant.

Since I was also a member of another 12 step fellowship, I instinctively knew that getting the depressed out of their isolation and into relationships with people like themselves would be therapeutic. We all had the same story to tell. It was not only a story of our struggles with our own depression but it was a story that brought a fresh new hope for ourselves and for all those with whom we shared out lives.

I mentioned the song sung by Ane Brun, the Norwegian singer, in a recent blog(10/13) and now today I would like to give you the lyrics to the song. I dedicate it to those who bring to life something new. We bring a new life not just for ourselves but for others like ourselves. In this case, here is the last stanza of her powerful message.

“It all starts somewhere

It all starts with one

Everything comes from something

It all starts with one

Starts with one.”

(You can hear her whole song on YouTube.)

I have found this song’s lyrics so powerful that I was motivated to share a small part of this song with each of you. As you and I know, ideas and movements have to start somewhere with somebody. They don’t just happen. Movements, great ideas, they always “start with one, and then two and then three and more. ” Truly a song about the power of ONE. We all know about the power of social media and how experiences of others become viral so that millions of people may see the same picture and get the same message. As the saying goes, “one picture is worth a thousand words.”

I remember well the reaction that I got when I asked my Dean of the Psychology Department if I could start a group for persons depressed. I felt that we had possibly found a way out of depression, using the 12 spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and modeling this program of recovery for persons depressed, The Dean’s response was doubtful. He gave me the “go ahead” but remarked that “since the depressed normally can’t get themselves out of bed because of their depression, don’t be disappointed if they don’t show up for this project.” I’m glad that we went ahead. We had a very successful outcome where most of the depressed in our program felt their depressed mood lighten. What happened after that is history. In May of 1985, with the help of members from our initial group, Depressed Anonymous was started. It is now is spreading around the world. Our literature is now in English, Farsi language, Russian, and presently being translated into Spanish (2019) and Dutch. The Internet has brought our message of hope into lives and homes around the globe. Our message of hope is just a click away.

Remember, it all starts with one, and two, three and more….

Hugh

DA Literature, Hope

“It all starts with one.”

October 12, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

A popular singer from Norway (Ane Brun) penned the lyrics of a song which I found to be a powerful testament to the “power of one.” If you type in the words “It all starts with one ” at You Tube you can hear the song and read the lyrics as well.

Over these many years with our fellowship Depressed Anonymous I have found that the song “It all starts with one ” to be a powerful reminder of the power individuals have when they have a passion for service. I am referring to those persons who start Depressed Anonymous meetings in their communities. They are the living proof that it only takes one person to share their passion and set up a meeting for those “still suffering” from depression. Most DA group founders who have started groups I know personally . Some are still at it after a decade or so of service.

Yes, it’s true. “It all starts with one” . Are you that one? Let us know at Depressed Anonymous if you are interested in helping others like yourself who are depressed. Depressed persons are looking to you for help.

Hugh

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Hope

My moods began to spiral upwards once I regained control of my life!

October 10, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Is it that simple? Gaining control of my life didn’t happen overnight. I did know that most people’s depression usually lifted after a year’s time. Mine did. The catch is, that for me, it took some work and patience. No magic wand waving over my head and no silver bullet automatically killing the demon of despair that continued to beat me down. But what gradually happened was that my mood came back providing me with hope and a plan for my recovery. I began to feel some control over how I was feeling and the new mood of cheer gave me the courage to keep on doing what I was doing. In my case, my mood began to be lightened the more I continued my daily walking.

Just my determination to take of myself physically paid huge benefits. For once, in many months I felt some control over my mood and the direction where my life was heading. I was beginning to be in control instead of my life being out of control and unmanageable.

I remember in Graduate school I gave persons depressed a questionnaire determining how much control they felt they had over their lives. Interestingly, the person who felt they had less control over their lives, or none at all, these more depressed persons felt less in control over their environment and the way the direction of their life was taking.

Those who were less depressed answered that they were begin to feel more in control of their lives. These persons were experiencing more hope and the direction of their lives was providing purpose and meaning.

What to do?

First of all, get a plan that will work for you. My plan was this Step by Step program of recovery we call Depressed Anonymous. The best part of the plan is to find friends who, just like ourselves, are working the same plan. This fellowship, this non judgmental approach and support of the group provides us with our marching orders. When members of the fellowship share their story–we hear our own story. We know that just by admitting that we need help it is at this initial starting point, where we begin to spiral upwards instead of continuing the spiral downward.

If you want to take control of your life and your mood, it would do you well to join us and discover how others gained control over their lives just as it is possible for yourself.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Hope

My life is out of control!

October 8, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“I have come to the Step program because my life is out of control. Whatever I do or think or say seems to make no difference on the way that I feel right now. I feel out of control, and some other force is in charge of my life. I know also that this force, this power other than myself, this sadness has me captive and somehow I have felt unable to do much about it.”

Until today!

In our Home Study program of recovery, we use the Depressed Anonymous Workbook in conjunction with the Depressed Anonymous Manual, together let them lead us, Step by Step out of our depression.

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook facilitates a new self awareness by questions which we need to answer. Each Step is provides further meaningful thoughts from the “Big Book” of Depressed Anonymous. By reading certain noted paragraphs, as indicated in our Workbook, (Page #), we move through all the questions with that greater self-awareness of how depression controls every day of our lives. Actually, the Workbook, by its questions and my responses, continues to open up for me where my life can be lived with hope once again.

Example: Workbook question #1.9 “What areas of one’s life appear to be more out of control now that you are aware of how depression can isolate a person. What areas of one’s life appears more manageable now that you are aware of how you can change things around — choosing to feel differently?” Workbook, Page 9.

“It is in the admission that we are out of control that a remedy can be applied to our battle with depression. It is a paradox for our understanding of depression to learn that only when we give up control, do we gain control over what we want to be, think or do. If there is anything that creates a sense of hopelessness, it’s when we fee that we don’t have any control over our lives. When we are depressed, we feel dependent on all the forces that act on us and our environment. We feel that we are like the victims of the interminable feeling that we call depression. Depression can be like a hell or bottomless pit from which we feel we can never escape. It’s like being in an eighty foot hole with an eight foot ladder.” Depressed Anonymous Manual. Page 28.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed., Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.Ky

Many Depressed Anonymous meetings use the Home Study as a meeting Step Study group

For more literature about Depression and the Twelve Steps click onto the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore.

Hope is just a few steps away!