All posts by Hugh Smith

JOINING A DEPRESSION MUTUAL AID SUPPORT GROUP

 

“…   Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do. You will meet a group of people who know what it is to be depressed. You don’t have to explain it to them, or apologize, or pretend that you are happy when you are not. In a self-help group you give and receive friendship and in sharing the responsibility for the group you build up your confidence and self respect.

Well, those are some ideas about where you can get help provided you’re prepared to go and find it and to work hard with what you are offered. Spoon – feeding is no use to you. You have to feed yourself.”

Sources: Copyright(c) Depression: The way out of your prison. Dorothy Rowe. Page 209.

in Copyright(c)  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

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Admitting that we are in pain is the start of freedom!

  THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

PROMISE #1. We believe that once we have diligently and with rigorous personal honesty managed to complete the first nine steps of our program – good things can begin to happen in our life. It is after we have made amends to those whom we had harmed, swept the porch in front of our own house, and go to step ten and complete the remainder of the steps, we will be amazed at the peace that is become a part of our life.

The pain that we experience now – and working our program step-by-step is indeed slight – compared to the pain that may continue if we don’t bite the bullet and look at the issues that have trapped us these many years.

Working the 12 steps is like the person who heads toward  the light at the end of the tunnel. The closer one gets to the light – the more one discovers a way out. The light in this case is symbolized by the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. The expression of light, health and recovery of its members helps each of us to stay focused on recovery. Work is to be done if we are to find not only the light  – but a life free from the symptoms of depression.

Change is painful.  The first step is for the beginning of the end of our pain.  By admitting that we are in pain is that which paradoxically begins a release of our pain. This is the paradox of letting go and holding on as we learn from step three. What we hold onto holds on to us. What we seek – seeks us.

It is difficult for any of us to admit that our lives are out of control.

People sometimes speak of their depression as a comfort. I can identify with that, because if they were to change for anything else, they might end up with something far worse than what they have now. They feel that they might end up the hole in the doughnut. This pain of depression begins to dissolve as a result of doing something we’ve never done before – or rather doing something about our lives that we have not done before. It happens to be true that the more we get in touch with and remove our resentments, fear, guilt, and self-pity from our lives, the lighter we feel emotionally. The less need we have   to rely on defense mechanisms which shielded our fragile egos from pain,  hurt or remorse, the freer we become.

I do believe that the pain of our depression originates from inside ourselves. We construct present-day reality based on past life experiences. The past is a predictor of the future.  As it says in Depressed Anonymous, many of us held the absolute belief that “since bad things have happened to us in the past, bad things will happen to us in the future. In other words – we have made up her mind – nothing will ever change. And of course this belief is what promotes and keeps our depression  alive.”

The opposite of depression is spontaneity and vitality. When we are depressed we move about as in a fog.  we are stuck.  Since we desire everything to remain the same, that is, predictable, we in no way believe that life can be different. If we intend to stay suck, we make the decision, choose to stay in the rut of being  lifeless, hapless and helpless.

As we change old beliefs into new ones we believe that things can change as things begin to change.  We will begin to experience light, hope  and joy.   ”

In every   Depressed Anonymous story (See Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition) one’s personal story of recovery  illustrates how pain has been the admission price for the beginning  of a new life without depression and isolation.

.”The God that we know speaks to us through members of the Depressed Anonymous group. The Higher Power will put a new sense of purpose into  your life once you know how to turn  to it and surrender your pain. The Depressed Anonymous group will lead you safely and gently. The miracle is in the group.”

“The starting point is the admission that so far everything we have tried has not worked…”  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. DAP. Louisville. DA/P.39.

“… Life doesn’t have to be lived alone in agony or misery.” DA/.41.

 

I refuse to be a victim of my depression!

 

The following is a process for clarifying our thoughts so that we might gradually  work our way out of depression.

(1) Aware. I’m learning through my program of recovery, using the 12 Steps that as long as I blame everyone for the way I feel I will never improve my feel differently. I’m now becoming conscious that I got myself depressed and now I’m going to have to do something about it.  I’m not blaming myself for being depressed – that’s counterproductive – but now being conscious that I am depressed I am going to take full responsibility for getting out of it.  I don’t have to feel this way!

(2)  Motivating. I am making a plan to check out the way I think– the faulty patterns of automatic thinking that I fell into over my past life. I am now going to see myself as a survivor  as I live one day at a time and begin living with hope.

(3)  Doing. Every day I’m going to do something good and pleasant for myself. I’m going to take mastery over my life by setting small goals one day at a time for feeling different. I’m going to spend some time every day making conscious contact with the  God of my understanding and pray that I might have the will and the power to carry it out!

(4) Maintaining. I know there is no  “cheap grace” and getting free from my depression.  I also believe in having gratitude that I have the spiritual program of recovery to continue my exit from the despair of depression. In order to sustain my healing I will take responsibility for all my words, thoughts and actions. I now believe that if my world is to change then it is up to me to change it.  I now know it is up to my Higher Power  and myself   to feel whole and serene. ”

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Source:  Copyright (C) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville . Pages 42 and 43.

Note: This valuable tool is coordinated with the Depressed Anonymous manual, 3rd edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

By using both of these works (Home Study Kit) one can begin to walk the path of recovery using the 12 steps.

See  The Store for more information.

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work! I then tried the 12 Step fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. It works!

JANUARY 29

Affirmation

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work. I’ve tried the 12 Step way of Depressed Anonymous , it works! I’m beginning to feel that the people in my group really care for me.

“We cannot teach people forgiveness, but only show it by our own behavior, just as we cannot teach people to love but only show it by loving them.”

Clarification of thought

A group meeting is a sight to behold. Most self-help groups for persons depressed have their own format, but the one I am most familiar with is the one using the 12 steps of AA. It is a real joy to see how other members of the group are working the program, realizing that our program is a spiritual program. It is not a religious group…

The many people who are depressed and who come to the meeting, week after week, begin to feel better. It is one of the main areas of discussion. That is why people keep coming back to the meeting. They want to continue to feel good about themselves. They know that to feel better, they have to keep talking about their feelings.

The behavior that sets me apart from others in this world is that I always try to keep the focus on myself and not someone else. One of the main lessons that I get from the group members in our weekly discussion is that it is in others accepting us for what we are that makes a big difference. Also, I am never alone in my misery. Others know how I feel.

Meditation

Having the power to ask for help from God, as we understand God is a big step for us as we begin to trust this Higher Power who has taken on a new dimension since I am becoming an active member of this Depressed Anonymous group.


Source: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve-Step mutual aid groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 18.

Available on KINDLE. Also visit the store here at Depressed Anonymous Publications for other helpful resources.

“The more I attended, the better I was able to handle my depression.”

 

“I really didn’t get the complete feel for Depressed Anonymous at that first meeting. I took the advice given to me as I was leaving and came back the following week. The more I attended, the better I was able to handle my depression. Depressed Anonymous did more for me in a month than the hospital group did in three months. Depressed Anonymous didn’t cost anything, although after the first meeting was over everyone voluntarily threw in a dollar to pay the light bill

I couldn’t believe that Depressed Anonymous is run by the people who participated in it. I thought there had to be someone, somewhere, making big money off the poor souls who so desperately sought help. Boy, was that a stupid assumption. Perhaps the thing that impressed me the most about Depressed Anonymous is the wonderful friendships that developed. Depressed Anonymous members really care about each other.”

 

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 124.

Shop now and discover more information on how you can be part of this fellowship!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong.”

 

We think about the 24 hours ahead when we wake up, and attempt to live the day in honesty and peace.  We ask God to ward off thoughts of self-seeking, dishonesty and false motives. And as AA says, when we are faced with indecision about something we then ask God for inspiration and we let go of struggling for an answer. Alcoholics Anonymous says that you will be surprised at how the right answers will come after we have practiced this way of living. It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong. We also pause throughout the day when we are fearful, puzzled or anxious. We pray to the Higher Power for which  direction to take. I like the suggestion the best when AA says that “we constantly remind ourselves,  we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.”  We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. By coming to the meetings and admitting our addictions we finally got in touch with these emotions that have all but shut down from an early time in our lives, when to feel, hurt too much. We now have the chance to let these feelings get displayed and expressed in the supportive and trusting environment of our newly chosen family of the Depressed Anonymous group.”

Source: I’ll  do it when I feel better. (2015). Smith, Hugh.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 99.

We don’t even know what normal ” feels” like.

We will learn that there is a God who is supposed to love us and take care of us, but we are afraid to let go of who we believe we are, or what we feel we have to be. Trust is something that we have given up a long time ago. Trust is hard for us, especially when we feel that life, people and our circumstances have completely let us down. For so long now unpleasant feelings have led us to believe that we have no right to happiness, now or in the future. We have grown up with a sense of suspicion of those around us who appear happy and satisfied with life.  Instead we find it safer to back away from too much involvement with other people, because they would see how bad we really are if they got to know us and then our secret would be out. We don’t ever know what “normal”  feels like, because we constantly feel so hollow and empty inside.”

Sources: I’ll do it when I feel better. (1986, 2013) Depressed anonymous publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous, 2nd edition.  (1998, 2008) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depression is so unpredictable and unchanging

Life is unpredictable. Every living organism operates with a certain amount of unpredictability and uncertainty. The uncertainty of life creates in us a desire for predictability. If we did not believe in the possibility of change, we would all be hopelessly lost and forever  bored. Hope would be lost.  Potential far a better life would never exist. When there is hope, change is possible. The experience of depression is much the same. Depression is so predictable and unchanging that we lose hope for the pain of our isolation ever coming to an end.”

Introduction to Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Publications. Louisville.

This introduction introduces the journey of the author and founder of Depressed Anonymous. He based this important program of recovery on the 12 steps of AA.  In the introduction, there is a short autobiography of the founders’ life during his depression experience and the how life   was after his complete recovery.

Quoted from Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 19-23.

I’m ready for the good things now !

 

I’m slowly finding out the my life is not as horrible  as I’ve made it out to be. I used to tell myself that since it happened before, it will happen again – and that simply is not true. Yes, my  past was horrible and it’s no wonder I ended up with depression. I want out of it and the only person to get me out is me. There is not a magic wand to transport you to the life you want. Everyone knows what they wish their life could be like – so do it!  Make the changes you have to make, trust in God and always remember that good things come to those who wait. I’ve waited over half my life. I don’t have to be a victim of my past or my mind anymore. I’m more than ready for the good things! With love and hope!

SOURCE:    A member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship. You can find more of her story in the PERSONAL STORIES section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 120-121.

NOTE: For more literature resources please VISIT THE STORE at our site WWW. DEPRESSEDANON .COM.

Hope is Something more, Someone more, so keep going!

In Man’s  Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl describes  how hope is a key to survival and the heart amid the horrors of a concentration camp. The prisoner who was able to find meeting – in nature, in the memory of a loved one, and a generous act – would more likely not to give up. When we hope, in whatever circumstance, the future we long for comes closer, an experience of mind and heart that sustains us now and impels us forward.

Thomas Aquinas named hope as a theological virtue. It is a gift from God that we receive now, fueling our journey to a fuller union with God. Hope is the way God encourages us. It stirs up memory of God’s abiding faithfulness. Hope expands our vision beyond the immediate horizon. It breaks open our heart to dispel fear. It stokes our imagination to realize unexpected opportunities. Hope whispers, or shouts, when we need it “There is Something more, or Someone more, so keep going!”

Hope is not sentimental optimism. Optimists to easily escape reality, denying challenges in making promises that the are hard to keep. When we hope, we face reality because God is found in what is real. We know that things  may not turn out as we want, but we strive  valiantly nonetheless.  God is faithful, we insist, so there is meaning even in the toughest and most unexpected circumstances.

When we hope, we live generously and gratefully in the present because deep down we know that all will be well – not perfect, but well. With every word or deed steeped in  hope, the future opens up to reveal a present beyond our imagining. ”

Source:  Fr. Kevin O’Brien

The Ignatian  Adventure: Experiencing  the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius in Daily Life.

 

Kevin O’Brien, SJ, is Dean of this Jesuit school of theology of Santa Clara University he is author of the nation adventure: experiencing the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius and daily life.