Modern culture and depression

 

     “The medical psychiatrist Dr. Dominique Meggle points out in his talk at an International  symposium on depression in Rome  that modern man, who is individualistic, is enough for himself.  He boasts of being a nomad. He does not admit that changes can modify him. He does not have exchanges; he has experiences that are sufficient for him to continue – at the same level – sex, food, or music.  Upholding his freedom and sincerity of his feelings, he has replaced being with having. He consumes and after gaining enjoyment he feels sad. Pornography spreads in all directions. It shows a form of sexuality to us that is northing else but a consumer good. The modern form of this widespread depression has neither a biological nor a psychological cause. It is a form of depression that springs from something higher. It is a form of depression that comes from the removal of a meaning of existence: it is what Victor Frankel calls “nooegensis neurosis of existential depression.”  It belongs in the sphere of the mind and shows that a society that replaces being with having in a systematic   way produces a whole series of depressed people. It makes them mad. The removal of meaning disturbs the human psyche and human cerebral biology.

  In this case the good news takes two forms: On the one hand, we have the experimental proof that in order to function correctly the human being needs values and to be able to give meaning to his or her life. We can no longer deny the fact. It is in front of our very eyes. Given that we have done nearly everything that we should not have done, by exclusion we now know that what we  have to do to escape from the pandemic of man, his freedom, his values, his search for meaning but also his sense of responsibility, once again at the center   and the summit  of the whole of social, economics and political life.”

SOURCES: Copyright(c) I’ll do  it when I feel better. Hugh S., (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 93-94.

And the reference taken from the following essay:

 Establishing Social Ties in a society that is broken down and devastated by individualism. Meggle, Dominique. In Dolentium Humani: Christ and Health in the World. From the Proceedings of the XVIII International Conference on Depression. Journal of the Pontifical Council  for Health/Pastoral Care. Nov. 13-15. 2004. Rome.

Came To Believe That A Power Greater Than Ourselves Could Restore Us To Sanity

This quote is Step Two of Depressed Anonymous.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

  1. What or who is the Power greater than you who is able to restore you  to sanity?
  2. Do you HAVE a Power greater than yourself?
  3. Do you actually feel powerless and helpless over your feelings of depression?
  4. Can you think of a time from your past when a Power really was allowed to restore a sense of equilibrium to your life?
  5. Have you made use of this 12 Step program of recovery and have you discovered it to be THAT Power that restored your life to sanity?

Does Mid-life = Half-life?

I accepted that God, as the God of my understanding is loving and forgiving. The 12 Step group and our God is the pillar of our strength and healing. The #2 STATEMENT OF BELIEF  of Depressed Anonymous.

In  depression the first thing that we must do is to take charge of our lives and incorporate a planned pleasant activity in our daily lives.  If  I don’t, I will continue to linger on alone and live a half-life. Nothing beyond my reach can absorb my pain of isolation and feeling worthless. This is especially true for many of us in mid-life where the dreams we once thought possible  remain stillborn. We seem to have lost the time to do something positive with our lives. We feel stuck. I want to get involved with  a  fellowship of persons who are learning new ways of living with a sense of purpose. We want to live our lives  with hope.  Step  Two of Depressed Anonymous states that “we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We will “let go and let God.”


Comment: I am thinking this  morning and attempting to clarify some of my thinking about having a purpose for my life. I remember that it was at the  mid-life point of my life (45 years) where my life  gradually screeched to a   halt.  That is when my life, plummeted down to the   half-life point. My life’s meaning, instead of providing hope and purpose drew my resources down until the only purpose that I could envision was to try and get out of bed in the morning.  My concentration was focused–but only on my pain. Another way of looking at it is using  the   metaphor of looking at the gas gauge on your car’s dash and seeing that it reads empty.

When I discovered a group of people, just like myself, in the 12 Step recovery program  did my life began to happen. My experience with depression and living daily  the recovery process has provided me with a wealth of purposeful living and meaning. My half-life became a very full  life. Everyday I am blessed to be able to communicate with person depressed, be it locally or from the far corners of  the world. Whether it is with emails, SKYPE or to meet  face to face with fellow members sharing their  experiences and who are  desiring a  way out of their depression.

I know from personal experience that mid-life or really any part of one’s life  there may be a need for a reexamination of what our life is about and possibly for it to take a more purposeful direction. And no matter where our life stands today we are always poised on making it purposeful and filled with meaning. A full life is one filled with hope, service to others while embedded in a fellowship of persons like ourselves. For myself today, I know it is my fellowship group, Depressed Anonymous.

Take the plunge if you like and find out how you too can have a life filled with purpose, service to others like yourself, and part of a dynamic Depressed Anonymous 12 Step group.

SOURCES:  (c) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

I don’t have to be a victim of my past…

The following is a continuation of yesterday’s article, A VICTIM IN MY OWN MIND,#9 of the Personal stories contained in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, pages 120-121.

“Depression was something that I grew up with. I really had no idea that I had it until my senior year in college. It started with my parent’s divorce and ended with me totally losing control over everything in my life. I couldn’t decided what career I wanted, but hated every job I could think of. I couldn’t decide what city or state to live in, so I kept moving, hoping that the next place I lived in would make me happy. Eventually, I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to live or die. I cried at the drop of a hat, but still found enough rage inside to push the people I loved far away from me as possible.
I knew that I needed help. I had been to counselors on three other times in my life, but nothing seemed to work or last. This time, I have been in counseling for about two months. I was sick and tired of being like this. I wanted a life and I wanted to be happy. Every week, someone would notice a change in me, but I felt the same. Then one day while watching TV(thinking thoughts at 100mph), it occurred to me that I was making myself miserable…(See yesterdays BLOG 11/16 )
I’m slowly finding out that my life is not as horrible as I’ve made it out to be. I used to tell myself that since it happened before, it will happen again — and that simply is not true.
Yes, my past was horrible and it’s no wonder I ended up with depression. I want out of it and the only person to get me out is me. There is not a magic wand to transport you to the life you want. Everyone knows what they wish their life could be like — so do it! Make the changes you have to make, trust in God and always remember that good things come to those who wait. I’ve waited over half my life. I don’t have to be a victim of my past or of my mind anymore. I’m more than ready for the good things! With love and hope.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

For the first time in 14 years I have hope…

”  I had always known that  I was hard on myself. I reamed myself every time something bad happened. “Why can’t I find someone to love me?” “Why isn’t God looking after me?”   But for some reason, when I realized that I was doing this to myself, it made me realize that maybe all that I  would have to do is to stop doing it.   All of a sudden it made sense.

If I tell myself negative thoughts, I feel negative. If I tell myself nothing, I feel nothing.  So if I tell myself positive thoughts, eventually I’ll have to feel positive.

Of course I’m still testing it out, but I feel better and for the first time in 14  years I have hope, It’s not that hard to find something positive about myself or my life now. So I remind  myself of something positive every day and that’s what I am going to do until I don’t have to remind myself anymore because I’ll know.”

______________________________________________________________

To read more by this member of Depressed Anonymous see #9, A VICTIM IN MY OWN MIND in the Personal Stories contained in Depressed Anonymous, pages 120-121.

Also, it’s good to remember as pointed out in the 1st Statement of Belief in Believing is Seeing,  that “I accept and believe that however  hopeless everything appears right now, I will make a decision to recover from depression.  I am not helpless.  I will make a choice  to get better.”

SOURCES: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 (c)Believing is seeing: 15  ways to leave the prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications.

Louisville.

Information for additional literature on Depression and the 12 Steps of recovery is available at   VISIT THE STORE. (See Menu)

“We can’t blame it on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.”

AFFIRMATION

I am taking full responsibility for myself and I am making a commitment to my own health and healing.

“Now that we have learned that we have to take care of ourselves and our recovery that we begin to look at the way we think and feel.  Even though we don’t want to blame ourselves for having been depressed most of our lives, we know now that we are responsible for finding a way out of this depression. We can’t blame it on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am aware for the first time since I have been working my program that my thinking is cyclical in that my negative thoughts constantly keep going around and around in circles. I have found that I need to stop the negative self-destructive thinking that has dogged me most of my life. I am able to break the cycle of hurt and my own self-inflicted pain and come to my senses. I do have some good things going for me and I plan to use these good character traits as building blocks for a future filled with hope.

I am learning to take good care of myself. I am more interested in my own self-care than  I am of what others around me want or need.  I am not being selfish as much as I am being concerned about my own growth and development. In the Third Step we declare that  “we made a decision to turn  our wills and our minds over to the care  of God as we understand God.  To be in the care of someone means that they are concerned about us and are burdened with a concern for us.

MEDITATION

“Restore our fortunes, O God, like the torrents in the southern desert that those that sow in tears shall reap rejoicing. Although they go forth weeping, carrying the seed to be sown, they shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves. ” Psalm  126.

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step #2 of Depressed Anonymous

How true. Sometimes when one comes to a 12 Step meeting such as Depressed Anonymous for the first time, and listens to the members stories, we hear  possibly for the first time that there is hope for me too. That is the beauty of attending a meeting where people who are recovering from depression talk about how their lives are getting better and their good days are more frequent. Thanks to the mutual aid group, which for some is their Higher Power, they  soon discover that if others who are/ or were depressed, even suicidal, that they too will have a chance at getting their lives back on track.

Hope is the result of working the Steps.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Personal stories)

Friends are wonderful people

Dorothy Rowe in her book  Depression: The way out of  your prison tells us that friends are wonderful people.

“I always regret that I do not devote more time to my friends –write them longer letters more frequently, visit them more often, invite them here more often  — but in  my mental map of my world my friends stand like giant statues of themselves.  My friends are the people with whom I have a continuous conversation.  There may be long gaps between exchanges, since many of them live in Australia or America, but the conversation is never interrupted or concluded.

To turn an acquaintance into a friend you have to give that person time and attention. If you have no friends it is because  you are so wrapped up in yourself that you do not give other people your time and attention. One part of not giving time and attention  to other people is fearing that if you do they will reject you.  The other part is feeling that other people are boring and you have better things to do than talk to them.  But if you want to find your way out of the prison of  depression, you need friends.  ”  Pages 201-202.

Sheldon Kopp said, “Who can love me if no one knows me.”

____________________________________________

Really to have friends and to connect authentically with others is to tell our story. To do so initiates a contact with another at a  deeper and visceral level. This is the “miracle of the Depressed Anonymous group.” And when we are depressed doesn’t it make sense that we find it less difficult to share with someone like ourselves than to that person who is clueless about what it feels like to be depressed.  When we  share our stories, we find our stories mirror groups of people who, because of their own sadness and feeling worthless–in other words, being vulnerable,  will be the cement that binds us together as  friends. We are no longer alone and adrift in this sea of humanity. And as persons get to know me they will in turn be able to love me and know me as a friend. It is a fact  that our friendships grow and blossom the longer we stay involved  with the  fellowship.

Want to have a friend?  —  then be a friend.

For more information read how friends are made in   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2002) Depresed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Hugh

THE SERENITY PRAYER (complete version)

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God, grant me the serenity to accept  the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will,
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you in the next. Amen.

Reinhold  Neihbuhr

Rugged individualism

” Trapped in our traditional rugged individualism, we are an extraordinarily lonely people.  So lonely, in fact, that many cannot even acknowledge their loneliness  to themselves, much less to others. Look at the sad, frozen faces all around you and search in vain for the souls hidden behind masks of makeup, masks of pretense, masks of composure. It does not have to be that way.  Yet many  — most — know no other way. We are desperately in need of a new ethic of “soft individualism” an understanding of individualism which teaches that we cannot be truly ourselves until we are able to share freely the things we most have in common: our weakness, our incompleteness our imperfection, our inadequacy, our sins, our lack of wholeness and self sufficiency. It is the understanding expressed by those in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous when they say ” I’m not OK and your not OK, but that’s OK.”  It is a kind of softness that allows those necessary barriers, our outlines of our individual selves to be permeable membranes, permitting ourselves to seep out and the selves of others to seep in. It is the kind of individualism that acknowledges our interdependence not merely in the intellectual catchwords of the day but in the very depths of our hearts. It is the kind of individualism that makes real community possible.”

Source: M. Scott Peck.The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace. Touchstone. Page 58.

Hope is just a few steps away!