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YES, THERE IS AN EASTER BUNNY.

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Well, what a surprise Easter Sunday when our four Grandchildren came to find the 38 or so hidden colored Easter eggs  hidden around our yard.  But there was a surprise waiting for them. And  for myself as well. Right there in our yard, was a huge bunny. Who said there was no such animal as an Easter Bunny?  And previous to this,  we finally got past the Santa Claus thing without too much  damage  to the children’s psyche.  Like all children,  they eventually  moved on and past the Santa Claus mythology. Now we all had to  think about the Easter Bunny. Here, in our own back yard, was the living proof, a real live bunny. And a big bunny at that. The children were in awe. And to think he (yes, a he) laid  38 eggs all by himself. Amazing to say the least.  But after all was said and done, what the children put into their Easter baskets,such as candy, gum and coins  took most of  the shine off of the rabbit’s magic  appearance. They knew. Not even our 5 year old got pulled in on this one. With all the emotion of a large rock,  not even one of the children even mentioned this supernatural event –this cosmic  occurrence – when a bunny “just happened” to show up in our yard on this day, Easter Sunday. It does sort of baffle the mind, does it not?

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And again (I can’t let go of this) to set the record straight, it WAS quite a coincidence to have the bunny show up, on this day, on the traditional day when children all are on the hunt for eggs, and all the other good stuff that kids love. Anyway, I just thought that it made  a good story – especially a true story. It’s my guess, that they will remember this day for many a year hence. And just maybe, an Easter bunny just might show up when their kids are looking for eggs, candy, gum and all the good stuff that kids love. Thank you Easter bunny.

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Dear reader, I know this bunny account has nothing to do with depression but just maybe it can get us to reminisce about a time in our lives when our thoughts turned to discovering those hidden eggs in our back yard, placed there by a bunny whom we never saw, but believed he was  real.

Belief, Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

Bill W. & Dorothy Rowe & Margie W.

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Three persons who made a big difference in my life and how they each  helped me deal with my own melancholia (depression).

First of all there is Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, who by his own witness, presented to us the spiritual program of recovery that we know as the Twelve Steps. Not only have they given me personally  a daily step by step program of recovery to follow but helped me fashion a program of recovery for persons depressed using the same spiritual program of recovery. Bill W., makes available through the Steps to any and all who seek a way out of their attachments to whatever is slowly  destroying their lives.

And then there is Dr. Dorothy Rowe, PH.D., a psychologist who has written many great books on depression and how to live one’s life. In 1985, a member of our newly formed Depressed Anonymous group gave me a copy of her book Depression: The way out of your prison. (1983, 1996) Second Edition. Routledge, London and New York. It was this book that opened my eyes and my mind to beliefs about depression that has accompanied me through my encounters with persons with depression in my own clinical practice, as well as  in the formation of  all the Depressed Anonymous  groups  focused and centered on the Twelve Steps. Not only have she and Bill W., been my mentors in this life long effort of mine, but both have given me keys that not only have released me from my own prison of depression, but persons everywhere have their lives back, plus a belief in a Higher Power,  thanks to these two pioneers.

Then there is Margie W., a charter member of Depressed Anonymous (whose account  appears in Depressed Anonymous in the Personal Stories section of our book). She states  “I can’t really remember for sure how I became involved in Depressed Anonymous. I believe a co-worker told me about a professor at the University of Evansville who had students who were helping people in the psychology field and wanted to know if I would be a volunteer to help start this new self help group. And it was free! What did I have to lose? I had seen Doctors, took their prescribed drugs and still ended up on the same old merry-go-round of ups and downs  and “hangovers” from the drugs. I joined a small group at first. We talked, set weekly goals, took short walks, visited with friends or enjoyed a cup of coffee to relax. We had to do something for ourselves. I had to learn to be good to myself, instead of nurturing  everyone else. I found a good doctor who gave me a lot of good advice about “pampering ” myself more. It hadn’t been easy.  I’ve read self help books, positive thinking books and worked hard on my way of thinking for years. I’m a natural born worrier, so things always seemed worse than they really were.  “(I) feel like I have something to offer the group. Hope is the word. I finally got above the edge of the rut that I could barely peer over for years. I know others  can do it too. Don’t give up. It’s a lot of hard work, but it can be done. I know. I was there.” Depressed Anonymous, (2011)  Third Edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville Kentucky.

Attachment, Higher Power, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness, Purpose, The 12 Steps

I LIKE BEING A RESPONSIBLE PERSON AND I WILL NO LONGER BLAME OTHERS FOR MY SADNESS.

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AFFIRMATION

“Responsibility is the name  of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention.  As we get into a discussion with other  people who are depressed  – much like ourselves – we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on  their own behalf. ” (8)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To blame someone else for all my problems, and to focus on someone else and not on myself, never  accomplishes anything therapeutic. I believe that as I commit myself to  my program of recovery I begin to feel a shift in the way I think and act.  I know that the only way out of my pain is to get into dealing with my sadness and the way that I sad myself.  I need to begin with Step One  and admit my problem. I need to admit that my life has become unmanageable because of my attachment  to depression.  I must remember not to blame myself for depression  – I just know that right now, today, I want out!  I tell myself I’ve had  it!  I intend to get better.

In order to change my life, I have to begin taking responsibility  for it today.  By setting a goal, just for today, I can plan some success into my life.”

MEDITATION

We know that our Higher Power wants us to live just this one day. God is neither a vengeful God nor is my God a punishing God. My God is there for me and the more I open up and trust God, I trust myself to change and be a better and more serene person.”

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SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications . Louisville, Kentucky  P. 69.

Belief, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Step 01, The 12 Steps

How To Build A Wall Of Depression For Yourself

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“Some of the major ways people help build the walls of their depression are to consider themselves worthless. They won’t allow themselves to get angry, they can’t forgive themselves or others, and they believe that life is bad and death is worse.  And they believe that since bad things happened to them in the past, bad things are bound to happen to them again in the future.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous. 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. P. 28. (STEP ONE).

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A QUESTION FOR YOU THE READER.    Which one of the ways to build  a wall of depression in your own life would you say best describes yourself? All of them, or just one or two?  Or, none of them.

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I AM LIKE THE BUTTERFLY. I ONCE WAS AN EARTH CLINGER. NOW I CAN FLY. LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE!

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“Now that small voice, that little part of you that wants to have light and some hope is getting  up the courage to ask for more of itself.” (8)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

  I can no longer turn back and live in my old self. I am like the butterfly gradually becoming winged and ready to fly as soon as it throws off its old body.  — an earth clinger —  the body of the caterpillar. My metamorphosis is in process and nothing is going to turn me back to the way my life had been.   I want now for my life to continue to get better as I notice that the more I work on myself and trust in my Higher Power, the more  I am ready to live my life with courage and hope.  I am beginning to like the taste of living life and look forward to each new day as it comes.

Courage is to have heart and to believe that all things can work out if I just put my belief into gear  and work as if it all depended on myself and pray as if it all depended on God.

MEDITATION  God, we hear you speaking to us to grow and to trust.  We will count the ways that you have cleared the obstacles from our path so that our down days are less than before and we have more good days than before.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Louisville, Kentucky. Ps.67-68.

Do you believe that you can fly –will fly —-want to fly? Is there that  small voice inside of you that keeps  telling you that you don’t have to stay an earth clinger, no, you can be a butterfly. Take a chance! Try and fly. Listen to that small voice inside of you who wants something more! Trust  all those other people who no longer just crawl along but are now flying hopefuls. Now, I am not talking fairy tale nonsense. I’m talking the way it could be. But there are certain things that you must do. One, admit that you are powerless and that your life is unmanageable. Then commit yourself to a power greater than yourself who will give you the wings to fly. And then getting a flight plan from this Higher Power(Butterfly) -or God as you understand God –you begin your flying. Simple, eh? Thanks to my Higher Power– the great Butterfly in the sky — you throw off the old body –and  join the many who are flying today. Hugh

Depressed Anonymous, Isolation

Thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce moods and moods produce behavior.

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I don’t know what I am feeling. When I was in my  ongoing perpetual melancholia I wasn’t able to describe what I was feeling.   The one description that I was able to offer was that I had this interminable hollowness in my gut that just wouldn’t go away. Allied with this feeling was that of a jitteriness which was always with me. Eventually, I discovered that by sharing these feelings with others that I was able to put a label on them and talk about them. Of course, all of this led me back to the source of those feelings — my thinking and my behaviors. I discovered that my thoughts  produce feelings, feelings produce moods and moods produce behavior.  I asked myself–why is isolating myself so important and needed? Why is beating myself up mentally so necessary? Why is always seeing the cup half full so necessary and needed? Why does thinking  that I am worthless and unacceptable press upon my mind?  In time and with some persistent work I discovered the answers to these pressing questions. Are any of these questions some of your own?

“One of the major areas of our lives that we have a difficult time with is getting in touch with our feelings. Many of us who are presently depressed know that one of our great defenses is the denial of our feelings  –our ability to feel is diminished as we continually choose numbness over vitality and spontaneity.”  Source; Depressed Anonymous. 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Kentucky  P. 50.

Belief, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, Purpose, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

I Don’t Have To Feel This Way!

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As one person told Dorothy Rowe: “When I think of all those years I wasted being depressed, I wish  I would have listened. I’d wish I’d realized that all I had to do was say that I had enough of being put upon and put down,  feeling that there was something wrong with me. I’d like to go up to the hospital and tell everybody: ‘You don’t have to be like this.’ Up there nobody ever told me that.  I’d see those people going on and on being miserable. If I’d have seen someone like me now, it would have given me hope.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous. 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications,. Louisville. P.72.

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How often do we present this message to those who enter into our world.  Our world is one of hope, possessed with the awesome reality that I am different. I have changed.  I can use my tool kit of the 12 steps to gradually dismantle and replace the negative features of my life with new directions, new behaviors and continuing to put into action those positive beliefs about who I am. The Depressed Anonymous fellowship helps us meet others who were depressed and  who now are living a full life.  We are grateful for coming into contact with those who  have a  story of hope to share. So, if you are feeling miserable and helpless, just know  that what you read here will definitely make a difference in your life. We don’t have a magic wand that will take away your pain but we do have a step by step recovery process that can  lighten your load and give you courage to live one hour, one 24 hour period at a time. You are no longer alone. No “snap out of it” from our group. You can make your decision today to join us and  begin a journey that can  lead you eventually  to say,  “I don’t have to be like this.” I did!

Hugh

Acceptance, Belief, Higher Power, Hope, Step 01, The 12 Steps

Do The Next Right Thing

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I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force –the loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me — restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those to whom are ready to risk leaving behind the prison of their depression. By my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing”  I find that my own life is gradually becoming more filled with purpose and energy.”

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) THE PROMISES  OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS: Planting a seedbed of hope. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Kentucky. P.15.

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I like the statement to “do the next right thing.” For me that was a motivator for the times that I wanted to just give up. These were the powers that continued to give me the nudge to keep on doing all those things that could help in my recovery from depression. What, for me was “the next right thing?” For one, it was to continue working the 12 steps in my own life–one step after another. I also found another person to walk with me in my journey of recovery. I also read everything that I could find on my addictions. No “rock was left unturned”  that could help me accomplish doing what I knew would keep me on my feet and  moving forward with hope. I attended faithfully my 12 step group, read most if not all of their literature and continued to follow the promptings of my God. I heard other members of the group telling how they knew the Promises were working in their lives, sometimes quickly and with most,  over time. But they worked.  Life began to be better for us as we moved from one step to the next. We discovered that we had less concern about ourselves and gained interest in others. We want to scream it from the housetops –don’t give up!  We too felt hopeless and that our lives were unmanageable. Looking back we saw that a change had taken place  once we had established a daily plan for our serenity. We followed the direction of our Higher Power as we continued to “:do the next right thing.”  The next right thing for me today is to tell you — there is hope for you too.  That’s a PROMISE!

Hugh

Choice, Depressed Anonymous

I HAD ALREADY USED UP ALL THE HIDING PLACES IN MY LIFE

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” You don’t get better overnight, but you do get much better. I was as down in the muck as far as I could go. I had to go and open the door for the first time because there was no other place to go. I had already used up all the hiding places in my life. I still have many problems like anyone else, but when I need sleep very badly, I turn the problem over to my Higher  Power and go to sleep.  I can always pick up the next morning. Somehow it all gets done. Nothing so bad has happened to me. I have trouble trying to figure out what I am exactly supposed to do. I am sure God points me in the right direction. Sometimes, I miss the message but it will come to me eventually what God wants for me.  All you have to do is reach out and get it. But my faith is stronger now in God than it has ever been in my life because I need that companion in  my life. It is there for all of us if we just reach out and take it.” (P. 147/Personal Stories)

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous. 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky  40217.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Hope, Spirituality

SHARING ONE’S HEALING CAN BECOME A HEALING LIGHT FOR OTHERS

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Greetings and a warm hello to all.  So many persons, from so many different cultures, race,  spirituality   and national groups come here to find a bit of light and hope. I welcome you all. I continue to write from my own experience with the darkness and invite you to share whenever and however you would like your own experiences.

In my own life, my own brokenness brought me into another 12 step fellowship years ago. It was truly the dark night of the soul for me. The darkness for me was like being in a dark cave, paralyzed by my own blindness – unable  to find a way out. Then, because there was a lighthouse (12 step group)  in my small rural community,  I slowly came into the light of hope and found my way out.

Then once again, my life needed another shot of hope when I slowly slid down a slippery slope of hopelessness. It was then that  I  came to see that a group, which I had already formed, using the 12 steps for melancholia, came to my own rescue. I then began to help others form Depressed Anonymous groups. And gradually and slowly other depressed persons started groups in their own communities. Now here we are today, attempting to light and ignite hope in those who themselves want to discover how to leave the darkness of their own helplessness and darkness. For those who come and see how others have been able to climb out of the cave’s darkness into the light and use our spiritual recovery program of the steps, know that they too can have the light of hope in their own lives.

I often tell those in our groups that my own darkness and my coming into the light  has been a gift. A gift  for others. How often do people know that when I speak about my own experience in the darkness, there is  no doubt that my experience is  in many ways similar to their own.  It takes  one to know one.

In fact, the 12th step of Depressed Anonymous suggests that “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.”  (Page 159. Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Kentucky. )

When you have some good news in your life –especially joy and hope –that is something to talk about!  I continue to carry on.

Hugh

Hope is just a few steps away!