Depressed Anonymous, Higher Power, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

A DESIGN FOR LIVING THAT REALLY WORKS.

Leave a comment

A DESIGN FOR LIVING

“There Is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed in to fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed

“…The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.”

————————————

Speaking about the alcoholic, Bill W.,  tells us  “If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle of the road solution.that the alcoholic, who was in a, position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives:One was to go on  to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could and the other, to accept spiritual help.”

“Both you and the new man/woman must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen, When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.  Follow the dictates of the Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances.”  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.  2013. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, kY.

The 12 Steps

Having Had A Spiritual Awakening As A Result Of These Steps We Tried To Carry This Message…

Leave a comment

” Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs  THE TWELFTH STEP OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

The only requirement for membership in Depressed Anonymous is a sincere desire to quit sadding ourselves today.  Just for this twenty-four hour period. We want to try for this short period of time to let go of our sadness. But since we are saddicts, we need to know that we can’t just snap out of our sadness in minutes or even days.  To get to feeling better takes time because our learning to sadden ourselves goes back  over months, possibly years and one doesn’t just snap out of feeling bad in a few days when the whole way of living has taken years to develop. As was brought out in another Step, it’s not so much our addiction that we need to focus on as our whole life  – which we now admit is un-manageable. By practicing the principles of the Twelve Steps, we now know that we need to make  an inventory of our whole life. We can leave no rock unturned if we want to live with serenity and hope.  Our sadness, like any other addiction, is merely a symptom of some deeper compulsion that manifests itself in our need to seek comfort and safety in sadness. But this is the nature of our addictive behavior and thinking.  Our thinking has been compulsive. Every time someone hurts our feelings, and said something that wasn’t pleasant, we withdrew into the dark hole of our depression.  We shut down our feelings by numbing ourselves against future hurts.  Depressed Anonymous wants you and me to try for one day at a time not to withdraw compulsively into sadness when we come up against a stressful situation.”

—–Read more about the Twelfth Step in the DA  Manual, 3rd edition, (2013) Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville  Ky. Page 104.

Positivity

HAVE A NICE DAY UNLESS YOU’VE MADE OTHER PLANS

Leave a comment

I have heard this many times at our 12 step meetings. So much depends on how we look at situations that happen in our lives on a daily basis. I think the solution (solution focused) is about our attitude. Really, our attitude has a lot to do with our happiness or lack of it. Now, if you don’t make any plans for this 24 hour period, but instead spend your time thinking how bad things are you will more than not have a bad day. You will not have a nice day.

One of the best ways for me to have a nice day, even though it started out as a day filled with problems, the Twelve Step program of recovery gave me the chance to turn around my bad day and provide me with  a hope filled day.  I went away from a meeting knowing that what I have( depression) won’t last forever but that just for this time, I felt different–meaning I felt better. I made plans to have a better day and found out how to make it so.

Have a nice day!

Belief, Focus, The 12 Steps

HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT WAS POSED TO A CLIENT BY HER PSYCHIOLOGIST? (SEE BELOW).

2 Comments

Dr. Rowe in her book WHAT SHOULD I BELIEVE, asked her client Julie this question:

“Suppose you were faced with a situation where you could act only in one of two ways. If you acted one way people would like you, but you wouldn’t respect yourself, and if you acted the way people wouldn’t like you but you would respect yourself. If you were faced with that, which would you choose, respecting yourself or other people liking you?”

Julie answered immediately, “Respecting myself. That’s one of my standards. I realized that at university. One thing about depression, it does make you independent because you don’t care about popularity. You must function without other people anyway, so it doesn’t really matter about other people. I suppose you just live like an observer, observing people, the way they live, and just get a bit cynical. I am very scornful of people who do things just to be popular. I analyze myself and other people constantly, and “honesty and integrity” is the byword.  ….” Page 203-204.

————————————-

Hugh’s comment follows

Julie makes an interesting statement where she says that “depression, it does  make you independent.”  That statement, like the one in the above paragraph made me stop and reflect on my own experience with depression.  Did the experience, painful  and immobilizing as it happened to be, did it make me more independent?  In some ways I think it did. Like, I was more sure of myself as I learned more about my character and how some areas of my negative thinking and behavior were the cause of the spiraling downward of my person into the dark pit of depression.  First of all, I became more aware of my thinking processes and nailed the times that I was beating myself up or not watching the way I ate and the fact of my great need of exercise which I was neglecting. No matter what, I now am embarked on a healthier lifestyle and am convinced that the Twelve Steps continually help me assess my strengths and defects of character. Yes, Julie is right. I am more independent. Now,  instead of going about  my life in a  mindless fashion I am mindful of what prevents me from being in the present moment. I now try to center myself, by my daily prayer and meditation times. All this is critical to my staying sane and serene. What do you think?

Choice, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Hope, Isolation

RIGHT NOW, I FEEL A GLIMMER OF HOPE…

2 Comments

Right now, I feel a glimmer of hope.  I will make this glimmer grow brighter by trusting in my ability to expand my activities today and talk to a friend about the small steps I am taking to feel better today.

“Those of us who cope with life have  put up some barriers, have made some disconnections by maintaining many connections. Those people who become depressed have disconnected themselves completely, and the barriers they  have built are the walls of the prison of depression.”

Depression continues for as long  as I stay disconnected from those around  me. I don’t want to be connected – I might have to change the way I think, feel and act.  This would turn  my comfortable world upside down and then where would I be. I’d be like the sailor on a cloudy night-nary a star by which to chart my course.  Being in contact and connected with others means that I am ready to risk getting someone else a look inside my prison. It means that my new connections will change me to face my old beliefs about myself and my world.  Today, I have the opportunity to choose to trust or to retreat back into my hole of hopelessness. What’s it  ‘gonna’   be?

————————————————————

EXCERPTS:  HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS.

Uncategorized

MENTAL FATIGUE/METAL FATIGUE. WHAT DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

Leave a comment

“…A metal piece subjected to a lateral force first bends but maintains its flexibility, and returns to its previous form. If that force is increased one comes to its “yield point” a precise point in every case and the piece of metal remains permanently deformed. A quantitative increase has brought about a qualitative change. If the force continues to grow one reaches the “breaking point”: another precise point and the metal breaks. Here we have another qualitative change brought about by a quantitative change. We are referring here to “metal fatigue” when metal is subjected to small but constant pressure and suddenly breaks without warning in response to a not particularly sizeable pressure.

The same thing happens with human beings. The illustration points out some of the relationships and differences between the different types and levels of depression. Here as well, because the central factor that generates depression is anxiety , we encounter first the capacity of emotional response, then the capacity to rest in a balanced way (flexibility or fracture) and lastly the capacity to act (to live). The human mind is a unity of spirit and of body, even the strongest of minds, in the face of an continued or brutal attack of pain, can reach its breaking point. It first experiences a simple overload, it then passes from being flexible to being deformed, it becomes distorted, and finally it breaks.” Prof. Salvador Cervera – Enguix, Chair of Psychiatry, Univ., of Navarra, Pamplona, Spain.

COMMENT

I found this particularly informative and right on target. In my own case I was continually beating myself up, shaming myself with thoughts that caused more pain, and finally with increased forceful negative cognitions, causing extreme anxiousness, I collapsed. I couldn’t force myself to get out of bed. The “brutal attack of pain” day after day, night after night, caused not only a paralysis of thought, but finally reduced all personal motivation to get back on my feet.

But I found a solution : I forced myself to get out of bed every morning and walk 5 miles in a shopping mall. In time the exercise created a flexibility in my spirit that gradually helped get beyond my “breaking point” which seemed right around the corner. Also, I thank my Higher Power and the Depressed Anonymous fellowship.

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

“Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do.”

Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

I thank God for the group and the belief that I have every right to be here..

“Free and truthful discussions only possible between people who see each other  as equal members of the human race.   Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do.  You will meet a group of people who know what it is to be depressed. You don’t have to explain it to them, or apologize, or pretend that you are happy when you are not.  In a self-help group you give and receive friendship, and in sharing the responsibility for the group you build up your confidence and self-respect.”

REFLECTION

I have learned that there is a miracle of the group that takes place when persons with the same needs and experiences of isolation get together.  They discuss with each other how their lives were before they entered their particular Twelve Step group, and how they are now, now  that they have a positive program which gives direction to their lives.

In the Fellowship I find that I can be as honest as I like. No one will look down on me for saying how I need to change the way I perceive my world, my life and my thoughts.

MEDITATION

The spirit of God is in each of us as we become more conscious of the fact that that its spirit wants to be the leading light of our life. Our Twelve Step program help us see that when we consciously desire that God work in our lives, it is possible for us to admit that we are powerless over our depression. When  we start to work the program, we start to find some peace.

See Step 1

In the Fellowship I find that I can be as honest as I lioke.  No opne will look dopwnm on  me for saying jow I need to change the way I perfceivemy world, my life and  my thoughts.

MEDITATION

The spirit of God is in each of us as we beecom,e more conscious of the fact that its spirit wants ot be the leasding light of our lifge.  OOur Tswelve Step ropgram helps us see that when we consciously desirte that God work in our livesd, it ism [possioble for us to admit that we are powerless over our depression. When we start to work the program, we start to find some peace.”  See Step 1.

Acceptance, Belief, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus

BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 WAYS TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION. ( SURRENDER AND WIN!)

Leave a comment

The First Way (#1) to leave the prison of depression: “WE ACCEPT AND BELIEVE THAT HOWEVER HOPELESS EVERYTHING APPEARS RIGHT NOW, WE WILL RECOVER FROM OUR DEPRESSION”

Often persons depressed give up the hope of feeling different. They can’t believe that they have the power to change the way they feel.  They don’t believe that they have a choice either to get well or to remain locked in the prison of depression.  This is why the belief coupled with the First Step of Depressed Anonymous, a Twelve Step mutual aid group, has a positive impact on one’s personal belief about the recovery process. The First Step of Depressed Anonymous states “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

First we have to admit that our lives are out of control. No matter how hard we have tried, we can’t shake this persistent hollow feeling that has us feeling hopeless and  helpless. This admission that we are powerless will begin to free us up and get us the help and support that we want. It’s a paradox. Surrender and win! The group doesn’t pass a magic wand over our head and suddenly you are freed of your symptoms of depression. In fact, the admission that we need help puts us in in contact with a step by step map which leads us out of the land of darkness into the land of light and hope.”

For more information see Literature reference

BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 WAYS TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  Pages 1-2.

Depressed Anonymous, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

FREE OF DEPENDENCE

Leave a comment

” ‘ I asked myself  “Why can’t the Twelve Steps work to release me from this unbearable depression? ”  By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer:”  ” It is better to comfort than to be comforted.”

Suddenly I realized what the answer might be. My basic flaw  had always been dependence on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security and  confidence.  Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and speculations, I fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression.

Reinforced by what grace I could find in prayer, I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty emotional dependencies upon people and circumstances.  Then only could I be free to love as Francis had loved.

SOURCE: Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous

Depressed Anonymous, Exercise, Fellowship

A SYMPTOM OF DEPRESSION IS THAT I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY MIND!

1 Comment

I thought I was losing my mind. Why?  Well, when I was depressed, when I tried to read something–anything, I found to my surprise that I couldn’t retain information that I just read. In fact I would have to go back and re-read what I had just read. After awhile it seemed futile trying to read anything and retain it.  And here is the catch– this is where I got scared–no, not just a little bit worried–I was shaken. It was as if I lost my short term memory completely. I wondered what was going on in my brain? Was I suffering from some rare neurological disease or what? As it turned out I was also completely washed out. I couldn’t wait to get home after work and go to bed.  And another thing is that if I saw someone laughing or having a good time — I hated it! What right did they have enjoying life when all I could feel was the pain of my melancholia. I was helpless and hopeless. I felt out of control plus unable to manage anything for myself that I would consider positive.

Quite a composite of symptoms all telling me that something was not right. But what was the answer? What could all this mean?

So, I  decided to move my body and get out everyday and put some miles on my feet. Get some exercise. Get the blood flowing to my brain and wherever else it needed to go. Since these events were something new to me I didn’t really know what I had. I just knew I needed to do something–so, walking seemed my best bet. Over a year’s time it worked its healing and slowly my cognitive abilities returned.  I began to feel more in control and a lightness came  to me which had slowly evaporated a year previous.  What I am trying to share with you here is that when and if these symptoms make up part of your living experience, just know that they won’t last forever.

One of the many treasures of the Depressed Anonymous group is that when I tell my story with all my crazy physical symptoms, and how over time they gradually left me, it is here that members  of our fellowship knew they had come to the right place for help. They are no longer alone. And, they have a toolbox of skills, thanks to those who share their stories of recovery and how they too are no longer depressed. My story is their story!

Hope is just a few steps away!