Depressed Anonymous, Step 09

Success should be replaced with the ideal of service. – Albert Einstein

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SERVICE
Reflections about service on Step Nine of the Twelve Steps.

“One of the better ways to make amends is to commit yourself on a daily basis to helping other members of the Depressed Anonymous group to find peace and serenity. It is when we each begin to take responsibility and control over our lives and quit blaming the weather, other people, ourselves, institutions, or our jobs for our sadness that we begin to feel whole in recovery”.

“Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people around us. Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fill the bill at all. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning that our creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindness and love.”

REFLECTION
How do we plan to be of service to our fellow members today and a Newcomer to our fellowship?

RESOURCE(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd Edition(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 88.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

Three important questions to ask yourself

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WHO AM I?
WHAT DO I WANT?
WHO IS MY GOD?

One excellent way for any of us depressed to discover the answers to these questions is by using the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. There are over 200 questions, with each Step having its own questions. I have realized by using this format, that I needed to look more deeply into who I think I am, what I want and who is my God?

In other words, it is by asking ourselves questions, those of which we might never have thought to ask – especially in times of feeling alone and isolated.

You can also learn more about how Depressed Anonymous uses these Step questions in their group discussions on SKYPE. A question asked and the answer given can many times release positive results. I have this hope for you as well.

See more about this Workbook at https://depressedanonymous.org/fellowship/depressed-anonymous-literature/#da-workbook. You can use this Workbook for your own personal study as well. It has helped me continue to discover more about what my “ultimate concern” is for my own life.

Hugh

Stinking Thinking, Stress

Manage your stress

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During these months of being cooped up during the pandemic it’s a good time for learning more about how to manage our stress. Depression and stress go together.

Take a look at the TOOLS FOR RECOVERY at the Home Page menu and see how they may be a source of help for you in your own life. There are many tools listed here and we encourage all to try them on for size. I hope they work for you as they did for me.

Hugh for the Fellowship

Hope, Step 12

You can be the “good news” of hope for a person depressed

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HERE IS YOUR HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY

AFFIRMATION

I want to carry the message of hope to those others who are depressed.

Quoting Dr. Dr. Dorothy Rowe who tells us “what I so often said, that the best way that depressed persons can help themselves is to help one another. Form a group, get to know one another, support one another.”

REFLECTION

They also think that all I have to do is just be cheerful and my mood will automatically change. It’s like telling someone to stop their diarrhea as if they have control over it. My depression took time to develop so it will take time and work to remove. The people who are the most support are those who have been depressed themselves, they won’t tell you to snap out of it.

I best support myself when I find other people like myself and try and help them. Form a group, get to know one another, support one another.

MEDITATION
“God grant us the serenity to accept the things that we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.” (The Serenity Prayer recited at all Depressed Meetings.)

RESOURCES
(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. (Reading for October 7th.).
(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

* All Depressed Anonymous publications are available for purchase online.

Anger, Fear

Anger Worry Fear Guilt

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Today I would like to share some thoughts and reflections from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook (the same one used for the Online Depressed Anonymous meetings at SKYPE).

On page 77 @ question 10.18 this question is asked of the participants: “list the various ways that you plan to remove your most frequent unpleasant emotion? Write down your strategy.”

If we are following the work in the Workbook, we have already spent a good amount of time and energy reflecting upon our own anger, worry fear and guilt. We know how all these emotions and moods have a large role to play in our own experiences with depression.

Step 10 states that we “continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Our Depressed Anonymous manual speaks to us about taking responsibility for our recovery from depression.

“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention. As we get into a discussion with others in the group who are depressed – much like ourselves- we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on their own behalf. These people who are doing better are also talking about taking charge of their lives and doing things for themselves instead of constantly trying to please others.” (You can find this quote on page 107 in the Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.)

A potent strategy is suggested in our DA book (Page 110): “Promptly forgive yourselves! Promptly tell a friend, DA group member, coworker, spouse, that you are now trying to live one day at a time, one hour at a time and are depending on the Higher Power to give you the courage to risk thinking hopeful thoughts which have the power to lead yourself back into the community, the family and among friends. Develop a gratitude attitude and thank God for today! This day is all we have. Get involved in your own healing. Start to take on the attitude that if other people can make it so can I. It’s true – you can make it if you follow the program.”

Join with us every day at SKYPE. See Home Page menu items for MEETINGS times and places. You’ll be happy that you did!!

RESOURCES
(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

12 Step Meeting, Fear, Hope, Mutual Aid

The Covid-19 and its effect on a pre-existing clinical depression

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

Since we believe that depression just doesn’t come out of the blue, but stems from our relationship to the environment, our past and present relationships and NEGATIVE ruminations and self-talk.

For instance, the pandemic is a good place to start to untangle some of those underlying conditions which keep popping up in our daily lives. The covid-19 continues to create havoc, fear and anxiety in ourselves and communities. The more isolated we are from our normal life activities the more time we spend on all the negativity that continues to envelope us.

Anxiety and fear, both of which are some of those feelings and moods which may have contributed to our depression in the first place. Feelings can change from one to the other while moods are longer lasting with an ability to spiral down deeper in our psyche, resulting in an emotional lockdown. We can couple this with a fear that our life is spinning out of control, as our mind continues latching onto the worse possible scenario for our future, throwing more fuel on the fire, believing that life will always be this way for ourselves. We continue to live in total hopelessness.

And then the pandemic. Here we are, away from all the normal activities that once provided us with some temporary distraction from our fears and anxieties. It’s not as if we didn’t continue to feel the pain of living a life of isolation, holed up in the darkness of our own paralyzing moods, day after day, but now that we are cut off physically from friendships, co-workers, close friends or family members, our isolating pushes our negative moods further down. All this comes with a strong possibility that the virus may have claimed the life of a family member or grandparent or close friend or co-worker.

My own feelings, are the same basically of everyone else. Here we are, gradually realizing that this is now the “new normal” for each of us. We come to realize that we need to step back, and look at where we are today – and face our fears and anxieties. The question arises as what do I do now? Let me share with you my own experiences as my own life is turned upside down.

Because of my involvement in a mutual aid group, Depressed Anonymous, I am able to leave some of the pain of my isolation, join with all those others like myself who together are giving each other hope. All of us can share – not just our own pain of isolation – but ways to deal with and encourage each other with the successes we have experienced in facing our own fears and anxiety now and in the past.

As we try to navigate this “new normal” as best we can, we discover together how we are helping each other, day after day find a real lifeline – even though a virtual one. I am making this path work for myself, actively participating with the rest of the group, finding that my anxieties have diminished. By being in the now and being part of this mutually support group I am finding that there is a way out. I no longer am going to stay isolated.

“There is hope…and we do recover.” Please join us on SKYPE AND ZOOM – there are meetings on SKYPE every day at 11:30AM CST / 12:30PM EST. See Home page menu for DA meetings for more information). This is located at our website depressedanon.com.

Finally, one of our resources is the Depressed Anonymous Workbook that we use at our meetings, helping us to uncover some of our “underlying conditions” that existed prior to the present pandemic.

Presently our contacts with family and friends are stretched thin. Everything that makes us a human being, those live social encounters that provided us with joy, comfort and hope. We all have lost that shoulder to shoulder feeling and the hugs and smiles that gave us hope. Now the new normal is social distancing six feet apart. People older-stay home. Wear mask. I agree with all those solutions to staying safe.

It is here at our virtual online Depressed Anonymous meetings where we share and strengthen our resolve, uncovering those areas of our lives (thinking, feelings, moods, behaviors) that prohibit our personal growth and happiness. Now we are replacing our hopelessness and helplessness with hope and help everyday online.

The Depressed Anonymous fellowship is a potent provider of self-discovery as we move from one Step to the other at our meetings using the Workbook format. It is here in this virtual environment where we not only can take the time to listen to others in the group about their own issues, but listening as well to their many responses to how hope and healing have given them a new freedom, a new self-confidence while being provided a self-discovery tool, the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. This tool, with the Depressed Anonymous manual is used at every meeting.

If you are interested in a HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY you can learn more about this process of recovery from our website.

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook and Depressed Anonymous manual are also both available online as eBOOKS from Depressed Anonymous Publications.

YOUR HOPE IS OUR HOPE!

Hugh for the fellowship

12 Step Meeting, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, Supportive Actions

Mood Rings

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A number of years ago, a marketer of mood rings was making the claim that you could discover your mood by checking the color of the stone in the setting of the ring. Black was for a depressed mood, a blue for a “blue” mood, and green for a normal or happy mood. Well, I bought one and checked out my mood. Bingo! My mood ring indicated that I was in a happy mood, which I was. Hey, “this is great” I told myself. One half hour later I excitedly checked my mood ring again. “What” I exclaimed, “how can that be” as my ring had NOW changed to black. And that is the way it went for the rest of day. Green, black, blue and then blue again. I told myself I was still happy, nothing had changed there. Long story short – it was just another gimmick. So much for “fake” science. I knew that the diagnosis of my own mood was much more accurate and so I got help. But still, when the saddening symptoms of depression began to get worse, such as being unable to get out of bed, lacking any motivation to do what needs to be done, like going to work and keeping my important appointments. It is these daily responsibilities that began to slide. And then what seemed like just a short time I found myself immobilized and in a mental and physical lockdown.

If this is happening to you – we can help or at least point you in the right direction.

Welcome to our Depressed Anonymous meetings. We don’t depend on mood rings, but we do use the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps. These are at the core of our own recovery. By work, time, prayer, going to meetings and reading Depressed Anonymous literature we do recover and we do find our way out of depression. I can only tell you my own experience with depression and what tools I used to move out of isolation and begin doing the things that all of us in the program do to get well and back on track.

Here are some of my recommendations on getting started today, and finding that caring fellowship of men and women dedicated to helping themselves and others, and accompanying them on a path that leads out of depression, sadness and futility. The first Step is to admit that I need help and that my life is unmanageable. “I can’t go it alone anymore. I need support coupled with a belief that I can get better. Give me the tools and I will get to work!”

RECOMMENDATIONS

  1. Attend Depressed Anonymous meeting. They happen every day of the week and sometimes twice a day, dependent whether it is a ZOOM DA meeting or a SKYPE DA meeting. Meeting times and locations can be found here on our website @ www.depressedanon.com.
  2. Attend a virtual (because of the Pandemic) Depressed Anonymous meeting, and click onto the site to gain entrance to the meeting. You will be welcomed by a member of the DA fellowship. If you do attend a meeting you can either pass or share your first name. But remember, you can ask questions, and participate as much as you are comfortable with. It is also important to listen to the members of the group and see if this meeting discussion talks about any issues that may be your issues.
  3. Some group members will post their phone numbers/emails at the meeting so that you might contact them if you would have questions about the group. Every Monday at the Skype meeting there is a Newcomers group meeting. This is a meeting that is very helpful to the new member. This can be a very good venue where some of your questions/concerns may find answers. The website also provides a wealth of literature available for purchase online plus special subject material at the Home Page menu. If you would like a person to help you with questions that you have about depression, they will be happy to share with you their story.

Hugh for the Fellowship
Finally, please trust your own feelings, not the Mood ring. šŸ™‚

Step 09, Step 10

If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging – Will Rogers

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If you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
Will Rogers

Do you really want to create yet another future Step Nine that you need to make? I didn’t think so.

If you make a mistake make an immediate Step Ten – When we were wrong, we promptly admitted it. Making a mistake is being in the hole and continuing to dig. That’s good because an immediate Step Ten is to put the dirt back in that you just dug up.

The better goal though would be to put down the shovel. Don’t keep making the hole bigger. Be loving TODAY. Be patient TODAY. Be compassionate TODAY. Be sober TODAY. You don’t need to do those things FOREVER, you merely need to do them TODAY.

The hole you have dug because of your active depression will need to be filled in with Step Nine, but don’t worry about that at the moment. Focus your attention on Step Ten – don’t make the hole deeper.

The results will be that you feel better about yourself, and others will feel better about you.

Yours in recovery, Bill R.

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Journaling, Mindfulness, Serenity

Slow down! Road work ahead!

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How often do we see these orange warning signs along our highways? Sometimes it seems that everywhere we go, construction is going on. According to Murphy’s law, they only show up when we are in a hurry to get somewhere else.

In our recovery it is a necessity to read the signs that tell us to slow down. There is road work ahead. As we know or will soon find out recovery is about work, using those tools that are provided for our own healing and serenity.

We slow down, stop and reflect on our lives, examining how certain “triggers” not only slow us down but can “shut us down.” We discover how ruminating on the same negative feelings, produce a mood that continues to stifle us and prevents us from seeing it for what it is, namely a warning for us to make some changes in our behaviors. If we let these moods deepen there is a strong possibility that these negative ruminations can push us deeper into symptoms of depression. Before that happens, starting to use our tools can save us from relapsing or experiencing a recurrence of symptoms and get us back on the road again.

There are many things that can keep us motivated to stay involved in our program of recovery. You can read these for yourself here on our website (depressedanon.com) under the menu, TOOLS FOR RECOVERY. They are welcome tools not only providing help but hope.

You can also reflect on the “slogans” used by those of us in the 12 Step fellowships. I am going to list some of them and hope that you will use these as “mantra’s” or “slogans” for your own recovery and “road work.”

KEEP IT SIMPLE. Don’t complicate your life by over-analyzing or by placing judgments on others thinking or behavior. Don’t double yourself up with doing a hundred different things all at once.

DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING Telling yourself I’ll do it when I feel better never gets it. If you are recovering then go to meetings when you don’t want to or an appointment when you don’t feel like it. If you need to go to work go to work. That is the next right thing. Always be there for yourself and your healing. If you are doing Step work with a sponsor, then do the Step work. Do the next right thing. Put that on your bathroom mirror.

PROGRESS – NOT PERFECTION. Do what you can do and then don’t worry about it. The main thing is not that something you do is perfect –but that you are doing what you can do and doing it to the best of your ability.

CONTROL THE EFFORT-NOT THE OUTCOME. Take responsibility for you all that you do and again do your best. Make the effort. Give it your best shot. “To thine own self first be true.”

BE. HERE. NOW. Be in the present. Yesterday is gone forever. Tomorrow is not here yet. All we have is today. Enjoy the moment. Mindful that there is a God-and it isn’t me!

ONE DAY AT A TIME. We are only given one 24 hour period at a time. Use it well. Keep a journal and list three things that you are grateful for today.

Thank you for doing a little road work for yourself today. I hope that some of what I have written may have motivated you to look deeper into how you can “accept the things that you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

If you would like to read more about depression please go to The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

Hugh

Acceptance, Mindfulness

A litany for living life on life’s terms

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These affirmations can produce in us positive feelings, with a desire to make the most of our day’s activities. Please take a few moments after each affirmation to see how these can best be brought to life.

  • I will live my life today with daily positive affirmations of who I desire to be. Pause.
  • I will live my life in service to others today. Pause.
  • I will live my life today with compassion for others. Pause.
  • I will live my life today in discovering God’s will for me and not my own. Pause.
  • I will live my life today in being empathic with those hurting and isolated. Pause.
  • I will live my life today in being thankful. Pause.
  • I will live my life today in prayerful moments throughout this day. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today by being a friend to those isolated by depression. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today with courage and hope. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today by being generous with my time and talents for our fellowship. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today in the present moment. All I have is today’s 24 hours. Pause
  • I will live out my life today with a quiet and receptive mind to the promptings of my HP. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today on life’s terms. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today in simplicity and truth. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today without a need to control others. Pause.
  • I will live out my life today with the firm belief that God loves me just the way I am. Pause.

Hope is just a few steps away!