Mindfulness

DBT Grounding Techniques – Part 1 Intro and Mindfulness

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Introduction: A Structured Approach to Grounding Through DBT

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a powerful, research-backed framework for managing overwhelming emotions, reducing distress, and improving relationships. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, or emotional regulation, DBT offers practical techniques to help you regain control and find stability.

This series of articles breaks down DBT’s four core modules into five parts:

  1. Mindfulness – Learning to anchor yourself in the present moment.
  2. Distress Tolerance – Surviving emotional intensity without making things worse.
  3. Emotion Regulation – Understanding and managing emotions effectively.
  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness – Navigating relationships with confidence and balance.
  5. Putting It All Together – A structured grounding ritual that combines techniques from all four pillars.

Each article explores specific grounding strategies that you can apply in daily life. Whether you need to calm your mind, regulate emotions, or communicate more effectively, this series provides actionable tools to support your journey toward emotional resilience.

Let’s begin by exploring Mindfulness, the foundation of grounding techniques.

Mindfulness: Anchoring Yourself in the Present Moment

Mindfulness is a core element of DBT, teaching you to live in the present and accept it without judgment. This skill can help break the cycle of overwhelming thoughts by grounding you in what is real and tangible at the moment. Below are three effective grounding practices you can try when feeling distressed or disconnected.

1. Five-Senses Exercise: Engaging with Your Surroundings

The Five-Senses Exercise is a simple yet effective way to shift your focus from internal distress to the external world. By tuning into your senses, you reconnect with the present moment.

How to Practice:

5 Things You Can See:

    • Look around and identify five visible objects. Focus on details like color, shape, texture, and size.
    • Example: “I see the blue sky, a green plant, a black coffee mug, the text on this screen, and the light from the window.”

4 Things You Can Feel:

      • Notice physical sensations, like your clothing, a surface you’re touching, or the temperature of the air.
      • Example: “I feel the softness of my sweater, the chair under me, the coolness of my drink, and the smoothness of my phone.”

3 Things You Can Hear:

    • Pay attention to nearby or distant sounds, like a ticking clock, traffic, or birds chirping.
    • Example: “I hear the hum of the fridge, faint voices outside, and my own breathing.”

2 Things You Can Smell:

    • Take a moment to notice scents around you. If you can’t smell anything, imagine two scents you enjoy.
    • Example: “I smell my coffee and the faint scent of a candle nearby.”

1 Thing You Can Taste:

    • If possible, focus on the taste in your mouth—perhaps the lingering flavor of a meal or a sip of water.
    • Example: “I taste the mint from my tea.”

This exercise not only grounds you, but can also reduce anxiety by fully engaging your brain in the present.

2. Breath Awareness: Finding Calm in Your Breath

Your breath is always with you, making it a reliable tool to center yourself during moments of stress. Conscious breathing slows your heart rate, calms your mind, and activates the parasympathetic nervous system.

How to Practice:

  1. Sit in a comfortable position with your feet flat on the floor and your hands resting in your lap.
  2. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four.
  3. Hold your breath gently for a count of four.
  4. Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six.
  5. Repeat this cycle for a few minutes, focusing on the sensation of air entering and leaving your body.

Visualization Tip:

  • Imagine each inhale as a wave washing onto the shore, bringing calm and clarity.
  • Visualize each exhale as a wave receding, carrying tension and distress away with it.

By focusing on your breath, you disrupt the cycle of ruminating thoughts and allow your body to relax naturally.

3. Mindful Observation: Immersing Yourself in One Object

Mindful observation is the practice of directing your full attention to a single object. This exercise helps you detach from intrusive thoughts by focusing on the small details of the world around you.

How to Practice:

  1. Choose an object near you, for example a pen, a plant, or a piece of jewelry.
  2. Hold the object in your hands (if possible) or place it in your line of sight.
  3. Observe it carefully and answer questions like:
    • What color is it?
    • What texture does it have?
    • Does it have any patterns or unique features?
    • What purpose does it serve?

Example with a Pen:

  • Color: “This pen is black, with a shiny silver clip.”
  • Texture: “It feels smooth and cool to the touch.”
  • Unique Features: “It has tiny scratches near the clip and a logo printed on the side.”
  • Purpose: “It helps me write and organize my thoughts.”

This exercise can be especially grounding because it encourages a deep, intentional focus on something external, helping to quiet internal chaos.

Combining the Practices

For a deeper grounding session, combine these techniques:

  1. Start with Breath Awareness to calm your body and mind.
  2. Move into the Five-Senses Exercise to fully engage with your surroundings.
  3. Finish with Mindful Observation of an object to reinforce focus and present-moment awareness.

Practicing mindfulness regularly can build resilience, making it easier to manage overwhelming emotions in the future.

Choice, Courage, Focus, Mindfulness

Understanding Morning Blues: A Saddict’s Perspective

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I sometimes ask other people to write for the blog. Here is one such post.

Understanding Morning Blues: A Saddict’s Perspective

Mornings have always been the hardest part of the day for me. For years, waking up felt like dragging myself out of a dark pit, and some mornings, the effort seemed impossible. I’m Chris M., a member of Depressed Anonymous (DA) since June 2023. My journey into DA began after a three-year severe depressive episode that culminated in a crisis—a decision to end my pain. Thankfully, that decision resulted in my hospitalization under a 51/50 order, where I was diagnosed with complex PTSD (cPTSD), Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), and ADHD.

After 22 weeks of Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) and Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), I found solace in DA, and it’s here that I’ve come to call myself a Saddict—someone who struggles with and seeks to overcome the grip of depression. My interest in why mornings hit so hard led me to explore the biology and psychology of what we often refer to in DA as the “morning blues.”

This blog reflects my own research and lived experience, highlighting the factors that contribute to these morning struggles and offering strategies to cope with them. Continuity in approach has been a lifesaver for me, and I hope the insights shared here resonate with fellow Saddicts.

Why Are Mornings So Difficult?

Mornings are a challenge for many dealing with depression, and there are biological, psychological, and behavioral factors at play. By understanding these elements, we can identify strategies to make the start of the day less daunting. Here’s a breakdown:

  1. Disrupted Circadian Rhythms
    Depression often disrupts the body’s internal clock, leading to an imbalance in sleep-wake cycles. This can result in waking up feeling out of sync with the day ahead, amplifying feelings of lethargy and disorientation.
  2. Hormonal Fluctuations
    Cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, peaks in the morning as part of the natural waking process. For those with depression, this spike can feel overwhelming, triggering heightened anxiety or emotional distress.
  3. Sleep Disturbances
    Sleep is rarely restful for those of us battling depression. Insomnia, fragmented sleep, or oversleeping all contribute to starting the day in a state of exhaustion, making the simplest tasks seem insurmountable.
  4. Low Energy and Motivation
    Fatigue is a hallmark of depression. Combine that with a lack of motivation, and the effort to get out of bed can feel like climbing a mountain.
  5. Negative Thought Patterns
    Mornings often bring a flood of ruminative thoughts—anticipatory anxiety about the day ahead or harsh self-criticism. These thought patterns deepen the sense of dread many of us experience upon waking.
  6. Reduced Exposure to Natural Light
    Especially during darker months, a lack of sunlight can affect serotonin levels, a key neurotransmitter for mood regulation. This deficit contributes to a deeper sense of gloom in the mornings.
  7. Lack of Morning Routine
    Without structure, mornings can feel aimless, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy or low productivity. A chaotic start often sets the tone for the rest of the day.

The Role of Brain Chemistry

As someone with a keen interest in how brain chemistry impacts depression, I found the following factors particularly compelling:

  • Cortisol Awakening Response (CAR): For individuals with depression, the natural morning cortisol surge can feel like being hit by an emotional freight train. This exaggerated response compounds feelings of stress and anxiety.
  • Serotonin Levels: Serotonin plays a vital role in mood stabilization. Low levels, often linked to depression, are particularly problematic in the morning when the body transitions from sleep to wakefulness.
  • Dopamine Dysregulation: Dopamine drives motivation and reward. Reduced dopamine activity can make starting the day feel pointless, further fueling depressive inertia.
  • Melatonin Imbalance: High melatonin levels in the morning can lead to grogginess and make it difficult to engage with the day.
  • Inflammatory Response: Chronic low-grade inflammation, common in depression, contributes to fatigue and malaise, often more pronounced upon waking.
  • Glucose Metabolism Disruption: Poor regulation of blood sugar can cause irritability and low energy, particularly noticeable in the morning.
  • Thyroid Hormone Imbalances: Thyroid dysfunctions, such as hypothyroidism, slow metabolism and exacerbate morning fatigue.

Strategies to Alleviate Morning Blues

While mornings are a struggle, there are evidence-based approaches that can help us Saddicts face the day with a bit more ease. These techniques have been instrumental in my own journey:

  1. Radical Acceptance
    Instead of fighting against the difficulty of mornings, practice acknowledging them without judgment. Accepting “what is” can reduce the additional emotional toll of wishing things were different.
  2. Opposite Action
    When every fiber of your being wants to stay in bed, challenge yourself to do the opposite. Even small actions, like sitting up or stepping into sunlight, can help disrupt the depressive inertia.
  3. Morning Routine
    Creating a structured morning routine can provide a sense of purpose. Include small wins like making your bed, journaling, or sipping a comforting cup of tea.
  4. Exposure to Natural Light
    Open your curtains or step outside to soak in natural light. This can help regulate serotonin and improve your mood.
  5. Movement
    Gentle physical activity, like stretching or a short walk, can boost endorphins and energize you for the day ahead.
  6. Nutrition
    Start the day with a balanced meal to stabilize blood sugar levels and provide energy. Including protein, healthy fats, and whole grains can make a noticeable difference.
  7. Mindfulness and Grounding Exercises
    Use techniques like deep breathing, body scans, or grounding exercises to center yourself and reduce morning anxiety.

A Continuity of Approach

Mornings are hard, but the strategies above can make them less so. As Saddicts, we know that continuity is key—whether it’s sticking to a routine, practicing DBT techniques, or simply showing up for ourselves each day. Recovery isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence. If you’re struggling with morning blues, know that you’re not alone, and there are tools and a community here to support you.

Yours,
Chris M.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that combines acceptance and change strategies. Originally created for borderline personality disorder, DBT has proven effective for treating depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other conditions involving intense emotions. It focuses on developing skills in four key areas: mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness, helping individuals build resilience and improve their quality of life.

Spirituality

This Atheist’s Journey in Depressed Anonymous

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Personally I believe in God but that is not true for all people in DA. I made an announcement asking for help from atheists and agnostics to share their spiritual journey in recovery. Here is one such story.

I was raised by atheist parents of Jewish heritage. I was, at best, turned off by religion, but as an ethnic Jew, I felt some particularly antipathy to Christianity’s persistent antisemitism. (I never thought this was true of all Christians – for one thing, I grew up loving the Christians in the civil rights and peace movements!). I was also acutely aware of the patriarchal authoritarianism of so much religion. Overall, I saw religion as a force of oppression.

I also have always considered myself to be scientific and logical. I have flirted with agnosticism during my life – there are certainly myriad phenomena and forces that are far beyond human understanding. But I have ended up believing that everything we currently don’t understand has some logical/scientific explanation at its root. The one exception is how everything came to be in the first place. That is simply not explainable and a deity doesn’t solve this for me, for I’m left wondering how that deity came to be. The bottom line is that I am indeed an atheist. And I determined that I was by no means spiritual, since that seemed like just another form of hokus pokus.

So, I came to my first 12-Step experience (DA) feeling suspicious of god and those who tout a particular, specific understanding of god. And, since this is a predominantly Christian country, I felt particular turned off by a religiosity that was bound to be largely Christian.

By the time I found DA, every other potential treatment for my depression had failed (and I had tried nearly all of them). I had no trouble at all with Step 1 – my desperation, my powerlessness, the unmanageability of my life were all apparent to me.

During my early weeks of DA engagement, others shared with me a variety of readings about the place for agnostics and atheists in the fellowship. Still, at times I recoiled and described DA to others as a cult. I resisted and kept coming back to my opposition to the idea of an anthropomorphic (male) god as a conscious decisionmaker for individual humans. I still hold that view (and the “thy will” portion of the Third Step prayer remains difficult for me).

I was glad to read that the higher power can take different forms for different people. But I was only “acting as if” as I tried to embrace that idea.

One of the readings (by Hugh?) talks about electricity as a mysterious phenomenon that we can’t understand. But I do understand electricity. Then, one day, I thought about gravity. This is a powerful, essential force that I absolutely do not understand. But would gravity be a force I could surrender to? Would it help relieve me of depression?

What has started to change for me is that I have begun to really feel spirituality. In the past couple of weeks, I have seen a coming together of elements of Buddhism (which I have just started to learn about) and meditation and words from my therapist (who is an atheist 12-Step alum). Even the Washington Post had an article in recent days about radical acceptance. No, I don’t believe that coincidence is the result of a conscious decision by a higher power. But I believe that a higher power is at work for me when I recognize these kinds of alignments.

One day recently, a DA member called me out of the blue. She was someone I’d had a little interaction with, but never any real one-on-one exchange. Her message to me was profound: that I was full of love and, therefore deeply spiritual. It hit home hard and I knew it to be true.

I have begun to feel the fellowship of the group in a new way. It’s more than comradery. Rather, it is deep compassion. And the service I was doing (I had started by being a timer in meetings and had progressed to chairing) was feeling so damn good. I could feel myself helping others by being there. One of my negative thought patterns has been not forgiving myself for doing almost no charitable work – but DA is giving me a true chance to serve.

Just last week, I stopped introducing myself as “Keith struggling with depression” and began saying “Keith, recovering from depression.” I don’t know that this will stick. My deep pain is still there. But I’m feeling better about myself and embracing love and DA as higher powers for me. I am a spiritual being and am hoping that this will alleviate my suffering.

Keith B.

Higher Power

Take back words meant to control you

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People have been holding other people down with words for a very long time. One used as long as there is history is the word God. People have said there is only one true definition of God, that there is a set of true and proper set of practices and rituals you must follow. Throw off those shackles.

Come up with your own definition and understanding of God. Your God is just that – YOURS. You decide if it has a gender or not, what it looks like or not, what it wants you to do and be. You can certainly take inspiration from other people’s conception of God, but you don’t need to buy into their definition and belief.

In one spiritual tradition it states that God made humans in His1 own image. Take matters into your own hands and create the God that will work for you. Is it Universal Truth, nature, beauty, love? If you don’t like the word God get over yourself – you are taking this word back and redefining it for yourself.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Note: 1 – I used the word His because that is the word I use given the faith tradition I grew up with. I’m not implying that it is the one and only way to look at God.

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Fellowship, Honesty, Hope, Positivity, Purpose

Crosstalk: What is it and Why we don’t do it at Meetings

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Come to Depressed Anonymous meetings and you will hear “there is no crosstalk at this meeting but members can comment directly to speakers in the chat.” The online dictionary says: Crosstalk is giving advice, criticizing or making comments about what others have already shared; questioning or interrupting the person speaking or talking while someone is sharing. Another definition which is exceedingly compelling is crosstalk is described as “casual conversation.”

What do we talk about at Depressed Anonymous meetings? There is quite a broad spectrum through the challenges and positivity, deep heartfelt experiences/feelings. We “tell on ourselves” revealing things that we would rather not be known of us yet, that is a power in dissolving shame and fear. Simple listening becomes a blessing of insights and enlightenment, simply by hearing each other. We talk “program talk” and that is not casual conversation. We learn to live one-day-at-a-time. It is not easy though it has been called “simple.” To turn the page on negativity, low energy, despair, hopelessness and choose gratitude, action and positivity is definitely not easy. Yet we are rewarded with the prospect of continuing future growth, freedom from depression. Oh, it may most certainly not be every day and moment but we hear and learn, learning as children do by repeating for our own selves what we hear has worked for our companions. We get a boost, a glimmer: “What a relief, I can get better.” After all, we come here to get better, to learn and practice the tools and develop skills to get better. Then we get to reveal the true person we really are and shed the mistaken identity falsely projected onto the screen of our minds by Depression. And the one price of admission: the desire to stop saddening ourselves. The sharing we hear may be baffling, intense, stressful. There may be heartbreak, trauma. But here we divide our sorrows and when we share our victories and gains, we double our joys. Because we are witnessed and witnessing with open hearts, with loving attention and care. That is the DA Difference, to meet each other with open hearts, loving attention and care. We see each other improving, we see ourselves with time and patience and practice, improving. We hear “I haven’t been depressed since coming to DA…” “I come to meetings, work the steps, I got a sponsor… I am getting better too.”

These are not casual conversations. No No! these are sacred words of truth, hope, light, love spoken then integrated in mind-heart-spirit. Individually and collectively, we improve. Sooner and later, we improve.

This sharing is not casual conversation. We mute ourselves when not speaking and even though we may heartily agree with what is being said, there is no “yes,” “Ah-ha,” “mmm.” There is no murmuring, no background noise because to glimpse and catch Higher Power’s idea for ourselves, well, these are flashes of silent-robed listening, devoted conscious attention.

We are hearing brilliant and commonplace miracles, they may be cloaked in tedium. Spirit is expressing through each one. With that comes great hope, great empathy, great informing of heart-mind-soul. There is IGNITION. Aeronautically speaking, “We have liftoff, Houston.” With each other, our meetings, our Twelve Steps, we spark the will to live as our true selves. We receive Grace, we Surrender, we take the Action and our stories of the miracles of living 24-four-hour days each day arise. Get ready: Hope is stoked, The Lights are On. We shine for ourselves, we shine for each other.

Doreen K, in Boston, MA January 2025

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous

The Power of Depressed Anonymous

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Originally published 16 July 2014

By Ray

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?
Well, first let me that when I started attending D. A. meetings I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six week of isolation I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the D. A. group where I attend answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next D. A. meeting. After the meeting was over, I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.

Another power of Depressed Anonymous the group and what each person brings to the group. I have seen our fellowship get stronger and grow. I have developed many friendships that I can depend on for support and understanding, I have watched some of the newcomers that have kept coming back, grow and improve, Even something as simple as a smile when there as not before. The miracle of the group empowers and energizes me.

The most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope. Hope that we will not be
locked in the prison of depression forever and that there is a way out for each of us. A hope that our Higher Power will work the miracle through us and that we will fwd our own happiness. I have hope that our hearts and minds will know love and peace like we have never known or felt before. The power of Depressed Anonymous works for me. I hope and pray that it works for you. Keep coming back!”

Source: DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, Harmony House Publishers, 1998, Pages 154-155.

The 12 Steps

Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous

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Originally published 16 July 2014

The Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous. The DA recovery program, modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous which originally developed to help men and women deal with their addiction to alcohol, one day at a time.

The Twelve Steps have been found to be a potent means of recovery for those who desire to free themselves from their compulsions. The Twelve Steps are basically a program of letting go of our compulsions and handing over our will to God as we understood God. Essentially our program is a step by step way to change not only our addiction but our way of life.

Change happens when we choose to change. The fellowship of the group and our desiring to make changes in our life is what provides our life-giving spiritual experience. Many people get organized religion and spirituality mixed up and DA achieves strength from spirituality without set creed, dogma or doctrine. All the program asks of a person who comes to the meetings is only to have a sincere desire to stop the compulsion of saddening themselves.

Hope

Hope Is A Hard Habit To Break!

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Habits are hard to break! A life filled with negative thinking is a hard habit to break. Smoking is a hard habit to break. Negative behaviors are also hard to break. Living a life filled with anxiety is hard to break.

Developing a new habit takes time, persistence, and a belief that I can rebuild my life. In our Depressed Anonymous fellowship, I have learned that motivation follows action. If we have a plan to break a habit, we must put that plan into action.

Depressed Anonymous offers us a workable plan to break our own negative habits. Our plan is proven to work. You can learn more about these plans by checking out our website at https://depressedanonymous.org, or Google us at Depressed Anonymous. Trust me, you will be glad that you did!

Hugh S., for the Fellowship

Hope is just a few steps away!