This is what I need when I am depressed.

November 5, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

What one needs when in this situation is someone to talk with, someone who will not give advice and produce solutions but who will help to unravel the complexity of one’s thinking and feeling and to look at positive alternatives, someone whose presence ensures that the isolation is not complete,.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

In order for someone to listen to me I have to have the courage to talk. Today, I am going to share as much of my pain and feeling isolated with a trusted friend. I might even make an appointment with a therapist. I know that the most important thing for me to do is to break out of my isolation of negative thinking and behaving and get close to someone who will listen to me but not judge nor give me advice such as “snap out of it.

Admitting that I am depressed is the first step and best step to walking out of our isolation.”

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. November 4. Page 220.

Spirituality, Step 12, The 12 Steps

The Prompter

October 31, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

The prompter is a person who prompts; specifically one who cues performers when they forget their lines. Other speakers use Tele-Prompters, which enables the speaker to read their speech from a screen.

In the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, we find ourselves listening to a spiritual Prompter — an inner voice, a Higher Power, providing us with a brand new line of thinking. An action oriented prompt, where we come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves nudging us to change the way we think and behave.

But who is this Prompter? What is its name? And why am I hearing it’s voice now. I am hearing it now because I am ready to hear it. Fair enough? I have surrendered. Once beat down by my addictions, I now no longer follow the cues which produced for me a life of negative moods and behaviors. I told the God of my understanding that I’ve had it! No more beating myself up with blame and negative thinking. Negative thinking produced those painful moods spiraling me down into feelings of hopelessness and depression. I had the feeling that all my efforts at finding hope were futile.

The Prompter which I have been listening to in the inner depths of my soul has been leading me towards serenity and filling me with a powerful meaning for my life. After having been introduced to the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps I continued to listen to the Prompter in the quiet of those daily moments of meditation and prayer.

It was my decision to put my life on a brand new trajectory of wellness and healing. I had a spiritual awakening, ever so gradually. I just knew it was the Prompter itself who was placing a new life script into my heart.

Each and every day of my life I pray, I quiet the chatter in my mind, and draw near to the God of my understanding. When we draw near to God, God draws near to us. What you seek, seeks you.

I believe that my daily conscious contact with God in prayer and meditation I am able to discover that we are no longer dependent on our will but on God’s will for us. And just as Bill W tells us in Alcoholics Anonymous that when we are faced with the indecision about something, we then ask God for inspiration and we let go of struggling for an answer. He tells us that you will be surprised at how the right answers will come after we have practiced this way of living. It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong. We also pause throughout the day when we are fearful, puzzled or anxious. We pray to the Higher Power for which direction to take. I like the suggestion the best when AA says,” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self pity, or foolish decisions. We become more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves..” (Depressed Anonymous, Page 101). We all know that our new life script which the Prompter has provided us gives our life direction and meaning.

Depressed Anonymous shares with us Meister Eckart’s thoughts on that Vital Spiritual Experience which comes to each of us when we surrender our lives and wills to the God of our understanding.

“This work (birth), when it is perfect, will be due solely to God’s action while you have been passive. If you really forsake your own knowledge and will, then surely and gladly God will enter with his knowledge shining clearly. Where God achieves self-consciousness, your own knowledge is of no use, nor has it standing. Do not imagine that your own intelligence may rise to it, so that you may know God. Indeed when God divinely enlightens you, no natural light is required to bring that about. This natural light must in fact be completely extinguished before God will shine in with his light, bringing back with God all that you have forsaken and a thousand times more, together with a new form to contain it all.” (Depressed Anonymous, Page 161).

“Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understand God to be.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 101, 161.

Fellowship

The only person I can control is myself.

October 30, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

The only person I can control is myself. I will keep the focus of my recovery on myself.

AFFIRMATION

“Admitting our helplessness, we can abandon our desperate attempts to control everybody and everything and simply ‘go with the flow,’ taking life as it comes. Many people emerging from depression or from a major trauma, do this when they decide to take one day at a time.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am more convinced than ever that one of the best ways to get out of my depression is to live one day at a time. and to spend that day thinking thoughts that reflect hope rather than thoughts that spiral us deeper into sadness and despair. I am much more in need of admitting that I am depressed instead of denying to myself and to others that everything is all right when it isn’t.

My recovery is a step-by-step process and I try to live one day at a time. My best recovery occurs when I am conscious how my depressed thinking distorts the way I look at the way I live out my life and I have to make the effort to think differently.

MEDITATION

We thank God for our lives and the opportunity that we have to come into conscious contact with this Higher Power who is now providing us with his love and his hope.

Source: (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. October 30.

Uncategorized

SAN JOSE DA MEETING/THIS SUNDAY NIGHT.

October 28, 2018 Hugh Smith 1 Comment

Welcome to the new DA meeting Sunday night in San Jose, California

EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT

Meeting place: Alano Club

TIME: 7 PM

East 1122 Fair Avenue

San Jose, CA

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, Isolation

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?

October 26, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“What is the power of Depressed Anonymous? Well, let me first say that when I started attending Depressed Anonymous meetings, I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad that I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six weeks of isolation, I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the Depressed Anonymous group where I attended answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason, it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next Depressed Anonymous meeting. After the meeting I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending that first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.”

–Ray

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky .

Fellowship

I never had a birthday party as a child

October 24, 2018 Hugh Smith 11 Comments

I think that it is hard to believe that any small child never had his or her birthday celebrated with candles, songs, friends and cake. In most cultures (if not all?) all children have parties to celebrate the fact that they are loved and prized. Some of my own birthday parties stand out as somehow more remembered than others. A lot had to do with the fact that I was remembered as someone special to my family and friends. Much of the talk at those parties, centered around our birth day itself, with Mom telling about her experiences on that day. I also love pictures of those childhood parties–showing candles being blown out and the receiving gifts from family and friends.

I want to quote from our manual Depressed Anonymous (pages 90) which relates how not receiving love and acceptance for who we are has for some led to those sad feelings of anger, and rejection when mention of children celebrating their own birthdays is illustated.

“Many times persons depressed find that the more they get in touch with their feelings, painful as they might be, the more they need to remain with the feelings and feel them. This is the beginning of getting free from their tyranny. We have to get in touch with our feelings of anger, sadness, and the fact of our denial that we have even experienced the fierce feelings of rejection so early in life. There may be some covered-over rage resulting from these unpleasant childhood experiences. It’s amazing to hear people say that as children they never had a birthday party. We know that sadness, guilt, shame and a few other losses coming at one time in our life, can slowly push us over the line as we find ourselves overwhelmed with stress and feelings of defeat. It’s this subtle feeling of being out of control that brings a deepening sadness we feel totally immobilized.

…(Many) times when we describe what we feel we begin to release in ourselves the feeling “stuck ” that keeps us in a mood of hopelessness.”

I can understand what a party which celebrates the fact that we are special and loved by others can do to our self-esteem. It just might cause us to prize ourselves and then to share who we are with others. I’m not saying that to have or not have a birthday party as we grow up makes all the difference in our lives. It’s just that it may give us the message that we are loved just as we are. To be prized and made to feel special can add a wonderful dimension to young lives.

The date of your birthday and how it is remembered is more than just another day on the calendar. It’s your day! You can ask your self “how was my last birthday” and how will it be different this year? Will my birthday be a day where I will reflect on all those persons in my life who I feel prized me for who I am? And are there certain persons who you will always feel a gratitude for their presence and love for you in good times and bad? Write down in your journal who these people are and what they mean to you today.

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, Honesty, Hope, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Was finding this phone number a coincidence?

October 23, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Helen shares her story about finding help–when she needed it most.

“I finally knew after two year or more of sleepless nights that someone had to help me. I found a card saying Depressed Center, in the back of the phone book. It has a phone number and that was all. I talked to a man on the other end of the phone. I said to myself this man is too busy to talk with me, but anyway I made the first appointment myself. I made myself go. I thank God I did. I thank God that I went for help. It was a whole new beginning for me. I wanted to get well so badly. I think people do have to want to change. I went in with an attitude that I have to get well. I had heard things about counselors that scared me, but this was just all the old negative feelings that caught up with me and boxed me in. I got better and started to think differently. I started to get rid of some of my negative thoughts. I began to feel better and I continued to see my counselor. I started in Depressed Anonymous some weeks later.”

If you are curious about how the mutual aid group changed Helen’s life you’ll need to read her full account in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, pages 169-172.

She also has something powerful to say about pleasing people and how she needed to get her priorities straight and begin taking care of herself.

Sources: Seeing is believing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017). Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

I’ll do it when I feel better.(2018) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY

Depressed Anonymous

FREE BEER TOMORROW!

October 20, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

How many times have we voiced the words “I’m gonna do this” or “I’m gonna do that?” One of my favorites is “I’ll do it when I feel better.” The problem with this statement is that I never feel better. The problem with all these statements of what we are going to do are filled with conditions. Or when I say I’m’ gonna do something , I always find some excuse not to do it.

We like to put off what we need most. I know that I really need to see a dentist, but I keep putting it off. I mean, who likes pain? Or I know that I need to talk to my sponsor, but I’d much rather just stay in bed and sleep off my sadness. My pillow is my counselor. I know I’m gonna go to a Depressed Anonymous meeting, as I promised my friend, but not tonight. I’ll tell him I’ll be there tomorrow, .

The problem here is that “one of these days ” is never today. We don’t want to live and be responsible for what happens to us today. We want to dwell in a past that we can never get back or the tomorrow which hasn’t come yet. It’s like the guy who goes into the local pub and he sees a huge sign on the wall with large red letters, ” FREE BEER TOMORROW!” “Wow” he thought to himself, “I’ll be back tomorrow .”

Sure enough, here he comes. He goes up to the bartender, points to the sign, and says “I’ll take one of those free beers.” The bartender smiles and tells him, “come back tomorrow. ” “But today is tomorrow” the guy tells the bartender. ” The bartender, puts his hands on the bar, slowly and emphatically telling the guy, “That’s tomorrow. Today is not tomorrow!” The bartender gives out with a laugh. The guy walks out of the bar and could be heard repeating “I get it, I get it.”

I will take care of what needs to be taken care of today–today is all I have.

Today is not tomorrow. Get it?

Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship

Thanks to Depressed Anonymous, I am a healer instead of being a victim.

October 18, 2018 Hugh Smith 1 Comment

“These Twelve Steps work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time. Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more and that we have withdrawn deeper into the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. There is something healing about hearing ourselves speak to others about our own journey in life an the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt that our lives were jinxed! But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings regularly, the more we will find members of the group telling us how they see a change in the way we talk, act and look. We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they al l have been where we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work this program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out to others in the group, it is at that point that you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed Anonymous.”

DA Literature, Focus

Life can be good for a change.

October 16, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go to counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must. I need them to survive. The support group’s members help each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and giving support on how to cope with depression. By letting my Higher Power help me, I am beginning to feel free from depression. I am not so nervous and tensed up. My Christian inner faith is getting stronger. I am not so stressed out and I am beginning to get confidence within myself. I still have trouble with sleep pattern and I am getting some motivation back. I have learned how to handle anxiety by taking deep breaths when I am nervous or troubled. This was suggested by my therapist. I also am learning how to stand up for myself.

All these tools have helped me and will continue to do so. They also taught me not to dwell on my past, to live life one day at a time, and to look toward the future, but not live there. It will take me a long time to deal with depression, but I am glad that these tools are available. Life can be good for a change. Please don’t give up.”

~ANONYMOUS

Anonymous, is one of the many persons who share their personal story of recovery in the group’s manual, Depressed Anonymous.

For more of her story and many others please go to The Depressed Anonymous Publications at www.depressedanon.com.

Hope is just a few steps away!