Category Archives: DA Literature

Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous

The Dep-Anon Family Group and Depressed Anonymous are my best friends

Leave a comment

Recently, Dep-Anon the 12 Step recovery program, for family and friends of the depressed was launched. Because I am a member of Depressed Anonymous, I continue to experience the power of that fellowship.

The Dep-Anon manual and discussion guide for family and friends of the depressed is a powerful support group for those of us who are depressed. This new fellowship, like the Depressed Anonymous fellowship, is organized around the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps. It is similar to the Al-Anon fellowship where members keep the focus on themselves and their recovery, using the Steps. Instead of trying to fix the alcoholic, they take care of their own issues and do not try to fix the alcoholic. The fixing must come from the alcoholic. Also, the family members learn about the progressive illness of alcoholism and the negative effect that it has on the whole family. That’s where Al-Anon comes in – taking care of their own lives and feelings.

The alcoholic has AA meetings and a fellowship to support them in their search for sobriety. The Depressed have their own fellowship and support by attending their Depressed Anonymous meetings.

“By our fellowship with other family members, who also may share life with the depressed, we admit that all we can do is to take care of ourselves and admit that from this time forward we commit ourselves to the principle of living and let live. We also espouse the four C’s which state that our beliefs about NOT taking responsibility for our depressed significant other. These four C’S can be a constant reminder of how we are to live each day.

These are basically our four Statements of Belief:
1) I believe that I didn’t cause it. 2) I believe that I can’t control it. 3) I believe that I can’t cure it. 4) I believe all that I can do is to cope with it.

In Step One of our Dep-Anon fellowship, we admit that we are powerless over their depression. By taking responsibility for their every action, our lives gradually become swallowed up by the pain and morose of their lives. We gradually learn that it is by our surrendering the impossible desire to fix and cure, that we begin believing that what we can do is learn to cope with the depression and the isolating behavior of the depressed family member.” (Dep-Anon. Pgs. 15-16).

So, it is at this point where other family members can gather together at their Dep-Anon meetings, using the spiritual principles of the Steps, and continue to focus on their own issues. They learn more about depression by being an active member of Dep-Anon and discover that this is the best way to help their depressed family member.

Resource

(COPYRIGHT) Dep-Anon: A 12 Step recovery program for the families and friends of the depressed. (2021) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville., Ky.

This new publication can be ordered online from VISIT THE STORE @depressedanonymo-ln18osjvun.live-website.com.

Dep-Anon: Family and friends

Dep-Anon family fellowship keeps the focus on themselves

Leave a comment

“By our fellowship with other family members, who also may share life with the depressed, we admit that all we can do is to take care of ourselves. We admit that from this time forward, we are committing ourselves to the principle of living and let live. We also espouse the four C’s which state our beliefs about NOT taking responsibility for our depressed significant other’s depression. These four C’s can be a constant reminder of how to live each day with what we are dealing with.
These are basically our four Statements of belief:
1) I believe that I didn’t cause it.
2) I believe I can’t control it.
3) I believe that I can’t cure it.
4) I believe that all I can do is cope with it.,

In Step One of our Dep-Anon fellowship, we admit that we are powerless over their depression. By taking responsibility for their every action, our lives gradually become swallowed up by the pain and morose of our depressed loved one’s life. We gradually learn that it is by our surrendering the impossible desire to fix and cure, that we begin believing that what we CAN do is learn to cope with the depression and the isolating behavior of our significant other.

We begin the healing journey with other family members, discovering our own path for healing and wholeness. ”

Copyright (c)Dep-Anon: The 12 Step recovery program for families and friends of the depressed. (2021) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pgs. 17-18.

See https://depressedanonymous.org/literature for information on ordering literature.

Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

The Dep-Anon handbook combines issues of both the depressed and family

Leave a comment

This recently published handbook (June 24, 2021) combines the issues of both the family and the depressed, providing a common ground for understanding and acceptance.
The Dep-Anon handbook is divided into two sections, each with its own emphasis. Section one is about the need for Dep-Anon, a family group with a depressed member as part of their family.
Section two acquaints us with the nature of depression and how it affects the lives of those depressed who experience it.

“First, Dep-Anon is a necessary recovery program for the family and friends of the depressed. Here they learn about the crippling and life-threatening nature of depression. They will discover that their loved one or friend cannot just will themselves out of the incapacitating physical and mind-shattering problem. All the “snap out of it” and “get on with your life” messages directed at their loved ones are futile. Secondly, family members begin to see the necessity of taking care of themselves. With the Dep-Anon fellowship giving attention to the daily practice of 12 Step living, it becomes clear that this is at the core of our personal and communal recovery.
‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.'”
–An excerpt from the Introduction of Dep-Anon: A 12 Step Recovery program for families and friends of the expressed.

The hope is that the Dep-Anon family fellowship groups will be formed, just as their depressed loved ones have their own fellowship of Depressed Anonymous.

Each of Dep-Anon’s Twelve chapters has a group discussion guide. Also provided is a suggested meeting format for those setting up Dep-Anon mutual aid groups in their communities.

NOTE: Please Visit the Store (Depressed Anonymous Publications) for further information for ordering online.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook

How to run a tight ship

Leave a comment

The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
The realist adjusts the sails.
– William Arthur Ward

When I attend a Depressed Anonymous meeting, whether virtual or face-to-face, I know that I will learn more about adjusting my sails. My life is always undergoing an adjustment. Now, that’s not a bad thing, that’s just how this program of recovery works. The “power that is greater than myself” is the wind in my sails. The first three steps of Depressed Anonymous describe how we get in touch with this power that continues to keep me afloat, staying on course.

My life continues to have some “zigging and zagging” adjustments, some minor and some needing more attention, and I make it through the day. I want to mention that there are many trusty mates on board with me, all having tested sea legs, continuing to help me, anytime and any day, sail through rough waters.

Now, with adjusted sails, I head for port, a metaphor for serenity and hope.

Hugh

DA Literature, Focus, Step 01

The voice of hope

Leave a comment

STEP ONE OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS
“We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

“Let’s listen now to the long-denied part of us that speaks out in favor of a change – that voice of hope that says we will feel cheerful one day. The small part of us says that we should risk going to this meeting and admit that: “Yes, I am depressed, and yes, I am going to find my way out of this prison by taking stock of my strengths and by beginning to want to hope.” You do have a choice. You can begin to let go of your fears of what life will be like without the constant gnawing feeling inside of you that produces that awful jitteriness. You will find lots of acceptance from the group as you listen to the many ways others like yourself have surrendered their problems to their Higher Power and begun to find a sense of peace and sanity that they never thought existed. The old issues in your head will whisper that there is no hope for you that no one is as badly off as you are and that nobody will want to help you as you don’t deserve anything anyway. Often these old tapes have been with us since childhood and many of our adult depressions have their roots in our childhood. Many people do not remember much of their childhood, but repressing memories does not mean that the emotions belonging to these experiences in childhood disappear.”

Depressed Anonymous, THIRD EDITION. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Kentucky. PP.33-34.

12 Step Meeting, Avoidance, Believing Is Seeing, Depressed Anonymous, Hope, Indecision, Isolation, Positivity, Purpose, Relapse Prevention, Serenity

To keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity

1 Comment

Maybe and maybe not! We use this slogan many times in our recovery groups, thinking the statement to be true. For example, to keep missing our recovery meetings week after week may result in a possible relapse. I believe this to be true! Insane? It is definitely not helpful when one is trying to find sobriety or a way out of their depression

For the depressed to isolate oneself from family, friends and the world, is to gradually move self into a deepened mood of sadness and ultimately depression. The isolation is not going to defend the individual from depression but is only going to make it worse.

To look at the slogan from another angle is to find that the statement is false. In fact, to keep going to meetings week after week or more often is doing the same thing – expecting different results. By doing the same thing over and over again, in this case, the different results are a strengthened recovery with hopefulness coupled with serenity.

Believing Is Seeing, Hope

Survive the now and I will survive the tomorrow

3 Comments

This is a timely nugget of hope for my day today. All we have today is 24 hours.

When I attempt to stay in the now, keeping my mind occupied with what is happening in my inner environment – my thinking and feelings. I reflect on how these thoughts affect my mood. My mood might be spiraling upward, or it my be spiraling downward. And again, it just might just be stuck in neutral, sort of flat.

When I share at a Depressed Anonymous group meeting, I feel the acceptance of the fellowship no matter what I share. The group helps keep me in the now. I find some meetings, some speakers, say things that hit me where I live. I feel my own mood resonates with what they have to say. My mind pushes past my gloom with its struggling thoughts, hanging on to that spoken life raft just now offered to me. I begin to believe, right now, at this very moment in time, that maybe I too can survive the tomorrow. I feel hopeful.

Hugh

Depressed Anonymous

What gives meaning to your life today?

Leave a comment

Many depressed people will say: “I don’t know why I am depressed. It just happened suddenly like a black cloud coming down.” They say this because they do not want to look at the terrible events which threatened to destroy the way they saw themselves and their world. These events might not seem very significant to other people, but to the person concerned they are very important. It is not the events which make them important, or frightening, or overwhelming, but the meaning we give to these events.

Dorothy Rowe, in her forward to Hugh Smith’s book Depressed? Here is a way out! she explains that it is the meaning that we give to the event that creates the depression. How true it is for my own life when I attempted to build a wall, a wall that would defend me from my constant worry that had taken me over, spiraling my life downward into a deep, dark pit. It was like a Trojan horse, who had taken my mind captive and left me with no escape. I became physically immobilized trying to defend against this force – while my thoughts continued to cycle around and around, the more powerless I became.

Even though that feared future event never took place – my false belief that it would happen – froze my feelings, thinking and behaviors. I was like a zombie. That is until I heard about a group fellowship called Depressed Anonymous. It motivates its membership to take action. To do something. To move the body into action. To learn and live the Twelve Twelve Step of recovery with others like ourselves.

Gradually, I discovered that the more I discarded my defense of sleeping, isolating and negative thinking and sought the support of others like myself, did I get better. I attended the Depressed Anonymous meetings and made use of their their recovery tools. Now, I attend meetings as often as I can. There is hope…and we do recover.

RESOURCE

(C) Hugh Smith, Depressed? Here is a way out! HarperCollins Publishing, London, 1990.