I want to share my reflections that I had this morning during my quiet time. As the eastern sky filled the horizon with the light of a morning sun my attention rested upon the silent figure of a bird alone on my backyard fence. It was motionless. Even though many of my backyard friends already were out and about my solitary bird continued to remain  motionless as if it was in a deep trance.

Why I thought  was this bird sitting all alone this morning? Usually, at least it was my understanding that  that animals, insects and  all other four legged and two legged creatures liked to stick together. You can count us in this category as well. We are all pretty much social  creatures.

I must guess that even the hermit crab isn’t a hermit 24/7. But not knowing much about hermit crabs I would think they have some sort of gratifying social life. What do you think. Maybe someone reading this could shed some light  on this matter. Thanks in advance.

Now back  to this lonely bird. How do I know it’s lonely.  I don’t,  but seeing a bird that usually is pretty busy in the morning, got my attention this morning. Was the bird sad? Not feeling well? Just isolating himself to try and get his head together? Beats me as there is nothing wrong in trying to at least think about what’s up with this bird.

Is our friend the lonely bird ending up this morning in that closed system which is  depression. Let’s be honest here. One of the areas of my own depression was the way I talked to myself.  My thinking was my problem. My thinking changed the way I felt and the way I was feeling influenced my moods, and my moods influenced directly my behavior. And possibly I could venture to say that my friend this morning mimicked my own life when I was depressing myself. My thinking began to isolate me as I tried to figure out the reasons I was  depressed. But most of all my negative thinking, hour after hour, day after day all came with these  deep and sad feelings attached to them.

I guilted myself time and again with my irrational thinking so that  my whole physical  self began to shut down. I felt all alone, helpless and hopelesss.  I thought I was all alone. And  I just wonder if this bird this morning was feeling the same things I was feeling. All alone with no one to befriend him or understand.

As we continue to sort out, and separate the various areas of our lives, that  is, our depression symptoms, we find that if we can put effort into looking at the way we think, which decidedly  influences all our behaviors, we can pry open and gain entrance to the hidden source, with the other negative symptoms, such as the way we feel, think,  and  these areas (symptoms) taken as one piece, we find constructs  the way we live out our lives. We are alone and we are  isolated from any social life that would bring us into contact with others.

We know that  this symptom of irrational thinking gradually pushes us  deeper down into the direction of despair. Sometimes completing suicide. We want  to get off the fence of indecision, seek help for our mistaken beliefs about our self, again that is  feeling worthless, self bashing, feeling we are a failure, losing a  love, all these thoughts and feelings. All these   need to be brought out into the open and shared.

By examining the way we think, preferably in a group of persons just like ourselves there are those persons and others like them,  who are found at every Depressed Anonymous meeting. For me the best way to break out of this deadly closed system of depression is to get off the fence and begin to open up your life  to those who are now no longer alone, no longer living in fear, no longer imprisoned by the way they  live, think and feel.

I hope that you might find help in the Depressed Anonymous Home Study kit where you will be able to find your mind and heart motivated to open up, examining areas of your life , looking at yourself square in the face,   discovering  and using the tools which can  set you free.

Hugh

The closed system of depression with its multiple entry points. (chinks in the armor).

A previous entry or blog spoke about the various entry points of depression symptoms and how they all act together to form a syndrome. Basically, a syndrome is a number of symptoms occurring together characterizing a specific disease or condition. For us, and those of us who may be depressed, this is an important issue to take notice of and spending time reflecting on it. Learning more about depression as a closed system with multiple symptoms can have a positive impact on how we go about dealing with them in our recovery program of the 12 steps. In time you will learn more about the Depressed Anonymous fellowship and their use of the 12 principles (steps) of recovery.

Presently I want to share with you more information as to what makes up the closed system of depression. I think the more we take apart the various elements that make up the syndrome (symptoms) of depression, we are able to focus on one symptom at a time or more. This is what I mean by widening the chink in the armor of our depression. Each one will provide an entry to the particular area that we believe has the greatest responsibility for our being depressed.

Let’s go through the five (5) major areas and see how they each make up this closed system. We discover that symptoms feed on each other and produces a gradual paralysis of will and body which keeps us isolated and disconnected from family, friends and others. It also produces a lethargy where we no longer have regard for ourselves, our health or our future.

I will list the five (5) areas where we can begin to zero in on and list the characteristics of each separate symptom and see which of the five – possibly all of them – have had the principal role in our being disconnected from life and a daily activity.

THINKING

+mistaken beliefs+ feeling worthless+ guilt+ self-accusation+ self-dislike+ failure+ self-hatred + suicidal ideas+ feeling hopeless and helpless+ out of control+ self-pity

PHYSIOLOGICAL

+Insomnia+ decrease in sexual libido+ activity level is zero+ no concentration+ memory loss+ fatigue and bored+ weight loss/gain+ irritable

MOTIVATION

+difficulty planning for the day/future+ no desire for any pleasurable activity+ future looks bleak+ nothing ever works out+ failing at all jobs/projects

BEHAVIOR

+social withdrawal+ work retardation+ low or no interaction with others+ not involved in pleasant activities+ weight loss/gain+ excessive drinking/eating/sleeping

FEELINGS/EMOTIONS

fear+ sad+ angry+lonely+ irritable+ apathetic+ irritable+ loss of sexual activity+ loss of interest in activities that once gave pleasure+ tired all the time+ crying spells+ hopeless+ helpless and bored

We see that in one area of the symptoms the same issue will appear in the other lists of the depression syndrome.

In order to widen the chink in the armor of your own depression please go through each of the five lists and circle those particular items which apply specifically to your own experience with depression.

One of the five areas listed most probably will produce for you that entry point where you can begin to work on the areas that you have circled as having the greatest part in your sadness. Since each symptom affects the other four (4) one can begin to see how the individual issues cycle around and back and forth clamping down, not only the physical person but all the other areas of one daily life.

Here is the strategy for all of us: when we get to working on the various issues in the symptom that has the most issues circled – that in itself will disrupt all the other symptoms so that what happens in one will affect positively all the other. The negative synergism of the whole syndrome-depression – will be shaken and affected by the positive action or changes of just one of the symptoms. And the more we open up an area – our physiological level of inactivity – and set up a regular and daily exercise routine – this will reverberate to all the other four major symptoms. (A personal note here: when I could no longer get out of bed in the morning to go to my job I made a commitment – thinking and motivational – to get up and walk every day – whether I wanted to do it or not.) And it really worked as my mood was better by the mid-day. I no longer felt helpless but I was actually doing something – motivational area affected my mood – the feeling symptom – my behavior as I was not indecisive about exercise – I made a decision to continue to move my body and walk which influenced my thinking positively.

Finally, the closed system of depression has turned into an open and fluid cycle where the negativity of the system has been challenged. Instead of these single deficits of each of the symptoms we now have positive options we can begin with the belief that I too can get better just as others in our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous have broken the bonds of depression and are living lives of serenity and hope.

The 12 Steps and the working the Steps in a group or with the Home Study Workbook and manual will produce a hopeful change as each area, the thinking, the physiological, the motivational, the feelings, and behavior all will be turned into positives and so change our very closed and negative system into a hopeful and positive experience, day after day.

For a deeper look into the open system of hope and healing going to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook for opening and seeing for yourself how thinking more positively and getting motivated to free oneself from depression actually works. VISIT THE STORE for more information.

© 2017 Depressed Anonymous

The Fellowship of Depressed Anonymous