Category Archives: DA Literature

I Believed Depressed People Could Help Depressed People!

I have always believed in the power and the  influence of the group -either serving as a power for good or a power designed for destructive ends. But as for our group Depressed Anonymous, I believe  that it truly builds, enhances and strengthens any one who gets involved with  it on a regular and consistent basis. Those who do interact with our fellowship,  gradually come out of the pit of their depression and start feeling hopeful about their lives. They know  that  they are feeling hope instead of despair. This is actually happening all the time as those involved in the fellowship begin to see personal changes occurring in their lives.

I remember when I first proposed my idea, in 1985,   to the Dean of the Psychology Department at the University where I was earning my Master’s degree, that we ought to try and get depressed people together. I mentioned that Alcoholics Anonymous,  with a few fellow alcoholics, got its beginning  with a peer to peer approach. It takes one to know one, so to speak!  The professor looked at me like I was completely  out of my mind – that  I would suggest that depressed people could even muster up the necessary energy  to  even climb out of bed in the morning,  much less get themselves to a meeting with other depressed individuals like themselves. The idea seemed doomed to failure.

With a begrudging approval from the Dean, we got our peer to peer depression group off the ground. It was a success. Just as one alcoholic helping another alcoholic, so it  was true with the depressed person.  This peer to peer model of recovery worked. In a few months, following the groups formation, we opened our fellowship to the public . On May 30th, 1985,  our brand new mutual aid group, Depressed Anonymous was launched. It is still being launched today, globally.

If you believe  you can find hope, plus have a ticket out of depression by going to Depressed Anonymous meetings, then there will be nothing stopping you. I have found that my Higher Power has released me.  I am carrying a hope to those hurting from a life of isolation and feeling alone. We have a message of hope for them.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Believing is seeing:15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 64-67. (The 14th Way out of the prison of depression).

For more information about  the lives of  those  individuals who believed in the group power, please read about them in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. There is a special section in  the book where  thirty members of DA share their personal stories of healing and hope.

For more information about who we are  and what we are about, please VISIT THE STORE. Thank you.

 

First, be true to one’s own self

Way 13 of the 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.

“I’d rather be imperfect and happy than always trying to be perfect.”

One of the areas in my life where I strive to excel is in the area of trying to be perfect. Somewhere in our early development as children we got the message that if we were perfect we could be more acceptable to others. I gradually began to believe the more I tried to please others that this would bring me  happiness. Instead, all it brought me was a loss of myself. The loss of self reduced me to a shallow self without direction or meaning. I also had the false belief that the more predictable life is, I felt the less stressed my life would be. But in reality, just the opposite happened. By holding onto life with a tight grip, I needed to make sure that any decision that I made would have to have a predictable outcome.  I could only operate if there were no risks involved in what I planned to do. This kept me gradually pulling away from forming new relationships  and trying new things in my life.

Eventually, my depression became sort of a comfort as it kept me from having to risk an unpredictable life. In other words, this way of living took away all hope. This is what keeps many  of us depressed. We hold onto the mistaken belief that since bad  things happened in the past, bad things will continue to happen to us in the future.

This belief keeps us locked up in the prison of depression. We don’t believe anything will change. What a set up for depression. We have a difficult time realizing that we do have a choice in the way we think, feel and behave. We can live a life free of misery by following a recovery program as outlined in the suggested 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous. By coming often to meetings and getting involved with others not only gives us reason to have  days filled with friends and help, it also provides us with a daily program  step-by-step,  for leaving the prison of depression.”


SOURCE:   COPYRIGHT(C) BELIEVING  IS SEEING: 15 WAYS TO LEAVE THE PRISON  OF DEPRESSION  (2017) . Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 63-64.

For more information about literature that is available please VISIT THE STORE here at this site.

“…spiritually engaged individuals (depressed)were in touch with something important…” David Karp

As a professor of Sociology at Boston University, David Karp  describes in his book SPEAKING OF SADNESS his spending  time interviewing 50 men and women about their own personal depression experiences. The following are some of his thoughts about  those persons whom he interviewed and who saw a connection between spirituality and depression.

I too found that  this connection  also  provided  me  with  a solid and healing plan for leaving my own depression.

I found a spirituality that produced my own personal transformation  by using the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous. These steps are based on the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps and take the depressed person through a process of incremental  healing actions  which gradually can loosen the bonds of their sadness.

Here are some of the findings  Karp shares with the reader of  his own feelings about  those who spoke about the power of  a spirituality   which provided them hope during their depression experience.

” I was leaving many of my interviews awed by the courage and grace with which certain people faced unimaginable   pain and loss. I was especially impressed with those who spoke of their depression as a gift from which they had learned valuable lessons. While I could not relate emotionally or intellectually with visions of reincarnation or explanations of depression as central to a God -given  life mission. I left many interviews with a sense that spiritually engaged individuals were in touch with something importantThe issue was not a matter of evaluating the truth of their particular brand of a spirituality. What I felt was a measure of envy of those who displayed an acceptance that seemed to me incongruence with accounts of exceptional pain.  The people possessed or knew something that I didn’t.”

SPEAKING OF SADNESS by David Karp. (1996), Oxford University Press, Inc. pg. 191..”

And K. Duff shares with us that

“…illness is an opportunity for enlightenment, that, seen the right way, we do not cure illnesses –instead, they have the potential to cure us. This happens when we realize that illness is “not so much a state of being as a process of transformation.”  In K. Duff, The Alchemy of illness(New York):Simon and Shuster, (1993). pg. 191.

In  our  Step Manual , Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition,( 2011)Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville., a work which includes many stories shared by those who use the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps for their own recovery and transformation.  Also, this book is written by those who were depressed and graciously share their stories on how Depressed Anonymous transformed their lives.

Like Karp states in the  section quoted above how I too see my depression as a gift, as for the last 30 or more years my life mission has been to bring hope to those still suffering from depression. Almost every day I speak, write to someone , or continue to get the message out with  our DA publications how  I have been and continue to be transformed  by putting  to use in my own life  the spiritual principles of these Steps. For this  reason we continue to   establish   mutual aid groups for persons depressed.

In some of our next  blogs I will continue this most important discussion about depression and its connection to the power spirituality.

VISIT THE STORE for more information about our DA literature.

Get connected! Learn how to get connected and begin feeling better!!

#NINE BELIEF

Excerpts from Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017) DAP. Louisville. pgs 47-50.

“Withdrawing from friends and other social contacts is the first clue that you are slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression. Move toward a friend,  get a sponsor, and go to a 12 Step meeting. Ask your Higher Power for that  nudge that can guide you into the appropriate path.”

“I know in my heart that when I just sit at home by myself, isolating and ruminating within my head about all the terrible things that have happened to me, or are about to happen, that is when I depress  myself even more. Get connected!”

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing infor- mation, which describes how we habitually store the negative but continue to dump the positive information which continually  24/7 flows into our brain. These negative thoughts and feelings persist in keeping  us falling back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me and that is why I distance myself from everyone. Part of my nature when depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening, like a child afraid of the dark.

We know that depression grows stronger when   isolating ourselves from others.

Dorothy Rowe,  tells us in her award winning book, DEPRESSION: THE WAY OUT OF YOUR PRISON, that

“Seeing yourself as  a basically  good person reduces the need  for other people’s approval. If you see yourself as good, you  can set up a select group of people whose approval you desire and can be indifferent to the opinion of the multitude. But if you see yourself as basically bad then you need everybody’s approval….”

David Karp,   in  SPEAKING OF SADNESS  shares the following thought

” that depression is an illness of isolation, a dis-ease of disconnection. As with much of social life, and consequently with much compelling sociological analysis, it is irony that captures the complexity of things. The irony to be explained in Chapter 2 is that depressed persons greatly desire connection  while they are simultaneously deprived of the ability to realize it. Much of depression’s pain arises out of the recognition that what might make one feel better –human connection–seems impossible in the midst of a paralyzing episode of depression. It is rather like dying from thirst while looking at a glass of water just beyond one’s reach.”

For those who have no Depressed Anonymous mutual aid group to connect with in their own local community, our  Publisher, Depressed Anonymous Publications has made available the HOME SELF STUDY KIT. The HOME  SELF STUDY KIT program of recovery includes both the  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  These  two excellent guides provide us with a path out of depression.   By  answering the stimulating  questions  as provided by the WORKBOOK, one also is able to discover the nature of depression while learning how to apply the 12 spiritual principles of Depressed Anonymous to their own lives.

No longer do we have to be alone or feel disconnected in our depression. We provide the necessary resources to help an individual be connected with a community worldwide  who know what it means to be depressed. You don’t have to be alone any longer!

To see what literature is available from our Publisher,   visit the STORE here at our website  www.depressedanon.com. You can now order online.

I Feel That Everything Is Going To Be OK With Me

The 5th Way, excerpted from BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Remember that an oak tree was once an acorn -recovery begins by taking one step at a time as well as reading DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS literature and regularly participating in the meetings.

How often do we meet people in the program who want the quick fix , the easy way out, the feeling better now! But just as it  might have taken years for the person to learn how to get themselves depressed, it will task time and work to feel better. I do believe that all good growth in nature is gradual and that if we want the good growth to continue, we need to follow certain steps to make sure this growth will continue. One of the first things that we want to do is admit, like any other thing, person or substance to which we are attached we cannot free ourselves from this attachment by will power alone. We ask our Higher Power, this power greater than ourselves to free us. We begin our recovery by meeting with our local Depressed Anonymous group and admit by our presence that we  want to change.  We are dissatisfied where we are now and decide to work on ourselves so that we will feel better. Thus by our taking one step at a time we can actually feel a change happening. Many people who have been depressed for years — they are in so much pain that they want relief now. The members of the group are taking full responsibility for their feelings, moods and behavior.”pgs. 29-32

To live means to participate  in a weekly face to face meeting with other members and  if there is no group available to go to in your community –you can do an at Home study program  with the self-help  HOME  STUDY KIT which includes the DA Manual and the DA Workbook.  One can also access and read the hundreds of Blogs in the Depressed Anonymous archives and Newsletters. .


Here is an excerpt from Helen’s Story, in her own words, as it appears in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, personal stories. Pages 147-148.

“Now that I look back and see the way I was and see how I am now, I can’t believe that I ever knew that other person. The person is different altogether. I like this person very much now. I am so thankful to the group. They are just wonderful. They are my family. They are my Depressed Anonymous family. I also have my church family. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that there is a Higher Power that can help you through these things.  At first, I thought “I  doubt that very much ” when everyone was talking  about the Higher Power and  peace in my life. Then  it happened to me.  Every few days, the world dumps down on you and beats you down. That’s just life. I always think to myself that there is that extra strength that I didn’t have before. I feel that everything is going to be OK with me. I have that peace now myself.”

______________________________________________________________________

SOURCES:  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.  Depressed Anonymous  Publications. (2017) Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  HOME STUDY KIT

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. HOME STUDY KIT

—————————————————————————-

All the books listed here can be purchased online.

For more info please VISIT THE STORE.

I have found persons who understand me and my problems

#FOUR/ BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.  (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
”  No longer am I alone in my depression. I can now see that it is up to me to form new friendships with others in the fellowship of the Depressed Anonymous Group. I have found persons who understand me  and my problems. I also learn coping skills and new positive behaviors from my fellow group members. ”

Below are listed some of  the advantages of belonging  to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship.

  • Receive acceptance  and support from the fellowship.
  • The fellowship of DA places no judgments  on those who join the group.
  • No longer isolated and alone.
  • No “snap out of it” comments from persons who have not experienced depression.
  • Learn how to gradually remove depression from our lives by utilizing the tools provided by the fellowship.
  • Gain new friends who actually “do know”  how we feel.
  • Learn  skills in taking full responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
  • Learning how to be with others in a mutual aid group while simultaneously  developing our interpersonal and social skills.
  • By being part of the group, with persons like oneself, have an overwhelming BELIEF that since they are all getting better, they tell themselves “so can I.”
  • Depression symptoms grow best in  isolation and the withdrawal from others. Healthy encounters with others like ourselves and by using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps, we begin to feel better and gain   hope for ourselves.

___________________________________________________________

Ray’s  personal testimony, #20. The Power of Depressed Anonymous  is found in DEPRESSED  ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. pgs.133-134.

           “So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous?  For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed persons just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I WAS ACCEPTED.

Ray tells us how “the most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope.”

_______________________________________________________________

The fellowship makes available a HOME SELF STUDY KIT comprised of the Depressed Anonymous Manual and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  Both of these books can be purchased together.  For those who might desire some further support for issues in their recovery  that may arise from the Self Study KIT can contact us at depanon@netpenny.net.

For many, a Depressed Anonymous  group may not be available in your community and so the reason for the Home Study Kit. Depressed persons who feel isolated and with no group available can  profit  from this Home Study and gain insights into their own depression symptoms plus learn  how to deal with them.

In telling my story I feel hopeful!

It would not seem like a big deal to share our experience with depression at a Depressed Anonymous mutual aid support group. But the surprise comes as we share our own personal journey with others.   We discover that no one drops out of their seats as they hear a new member  tell of their suicide attempts, or the   shame and guilt over the  crazy things I have done in  the past.

There is a freedom that accompanies our story telling because we are hearing ourselves share very personal  things about our past. Once we get started sharing our story   we may feel that we  are letting ourselves be vulnerable.

In our Depressed Anonymous Big Book, 3rd edition, we hear the author tell us the following.

“Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more that we have withdrawn deeper into the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. There is something healing about hearing ourselves speak to others about our own journey in life and the many emotional  potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives jinxed.”

And here is the surprise  I referred to earlier: there is no criticism of what we share.  Everyone in the group thanks us for sharing our  story. We now know that most of the fellowship have experienced some of the same behaviors and feelings themselves at one time or the other. In fact,  their stories and mine have much in  common.  They have no difficulty in seeing themselves in my account of a lifetime of depression. I feel  affirmed. I no longer feel alone. I know I am among friends and among those who are walking  the same  path as myself. We are all in this recovery effort together.

In the Depressed Anonymous Workbook we read the following:

“Have you noticed that you are spending less and less time alone and more time with others in the fellowship and the fellowship grows among you and others that you have met in Depressed Anonymous?”  Let’s just say that our thoughts and feelings are now solution focused  – whereas all we could think about before was how awful we feel. We believed that we  are at the end of our rope.    If there is no meeting in your community, you can use our HOME STUDY KIT which will take you through each Step and it’s commentary (Big Book)  while the Depressed Anonymous Workbook  asks  some very valuable  questions for you to answer as you move through  your recovery program.

For more on this HOME STUDY KIT,    please visit our Literature store at this site. You can also order Depressed Anonymous material online.

SOURCES: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Depressed  Publications. Louisville.

These  two works form our HOME STUDY KIT and can be ordered as a single unit.

 

I refuse to run from what I feel

AFFIRMATION

I will be in touch with my feelings throughout the day. I refuse to run from what I feel.

“The ability to experience one’s feelings without resisting or running from them, determines to a large degree whether a person is healthy are not.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I’m going to make a real effort today to do what I see works for depressed persons like myself. They all say that the longer they are in the program (Depressed Anonymous) , the more feelings they are able to express and the less the unpleasant feelings of fear dominates their life. I am finding that by writing my feelings down, the less frightening they seem to be to me. I am now able to deal head on with my feelings.

My addiction was a way of walling off my pain. In time, I became addicted to the pain and in doing so, I lost myself in the process. I find this experience to be a freeing one.

My addiction was a way of walling off pain. Now the pain is more important than what I am running away from.

What I experience in my life determines to a large extent what I predict life to become. My past experiences are predictors of a life not as yet lived. I am wanting to experience the fact that my good days are more frequent now and my bad days occurring not as often.

MEDITATION

God, the more I give up my need to be depressed the more I’m finding that I’m becoming more assertive and truly present to others in my life. I want you to help me feel my feelings and express them today. [ADD YOUR OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS HERE]


SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“I wanna be free and live a life free from fear and anxiety!

Came to believe that  a power greater than  ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

Now that I’m beginning to make an effort that this higher power is really on my side the more my faith and belief will help me overcome my fear of failure that  my depression ever coming to an end.

My fears, anxieties and other obstacles to my serenity will gradually disappear the more I learn that there is somebody up there that love me and wants me to be free from that gnawing emptiness   that continually plagues me  day after day. I am beginning to see that the more I attend meetings and read   my  Depressed Anonymous Big Book, and do my daily meditations the more peace and hope I will have. I truly believe that  life will  get better for me.  My sanity and my health will increase like a seed watered, nurtured and which receives a lot of sunlight.

 

We aren’t alone anymore. In fact, we are strengthened by the bonds of fellowship and friendship in the group and not burdened by the fear that we will again soon slump back  into our depression.” The Depressed Anonymous Workbook/Step 2-Page 13.


Excerpts from  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.

“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the universe. Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our life. That is a paradox of the 12 Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions,  the freer we in reality become.”

For the depressed person,  giving up old ways of thinking and acting is much like giving up any other addiction – at first letting go of the old behavior makes you feel  uncomfortable.  The  old behavior  wants  to  cling  to  our spirit  like swamp  mud hangs onto knee-high boots. Before your participation  in Depressed Anonymous you would go home from work, get by yourself and ruminate on how bad you felt. This new behavior will help you think differently about yourself. You will find that this higher power, or God as you understand him, is not the same God that you might have met when you were young. When you were a child you came to believe that God is watching you, ready  to punish you if you are not perfect. Now you can  begin to develop an adult and new way of being related  to God as you understand God.  With time, persistence and patience you will gradually trust your life to this Higher Power. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. Page 43.

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Please see Depressed Anonymous  literature  for more information.  You are able to order your own Kit online from www.depressedanon.com.

“I wanna be free!” (Part 2) HOME STUDY PROGRAM

HOME STUDY PROGRAM

Today  we want to continue to  share more about how the Home Study Program, using  the Depressed Anonymous   Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook can gradually facilitate a better understanding of the nature of depression and our response to it, using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous

 

The reason most people use the Home Study Program is that it is a simple and straightforward way to begin to  walk on the path that leads out of depression.

So, I admit that I’m depressed. Now what do I do? The next thing we do is to ask ourselves how much can I dare admit to myself  how out-of-control  I really am? How much do I dare tell myself that I have really hit bottom and that I have nowhere to go but to ask for help? I have been afflicted with this tendency all my life to run and hide whenever I was challenged  by a task, a relationship or  old unpleasant memories that frightened me. I would run and hide. I would be willing to barely admit to myself that what I was feeling wasn’t really me.  I also came to believe that the sea of gloom that I swam in  day after day would one day drown me – the exact day and  time just  happened to be unknown at the time.

One of the things that keeps giving me hope at the Depressed Anonymous fellowship meetings  or here on our website (Depressed Anonymous)   is where we can  continue to read about how others   have been successful  in leaving their own prison of depression.  We see a real challenge  that can open a new Vista – a new way to live out our lives and open up hope before us. One man said that the God of his understanding uses him and his depression for helping others who are likewise depressed.   In other words, God will use your depression to help others.

You will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed  or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression.  In fact you will also learn that you have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

SOURCE:  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Page 5.

One of the most powerful experiences and benefits of being a member of the Depressed Anonymous  fellowship is at that you will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression. In fact you will also learn that you also have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

“We” is the first word of step one. It is a very important word to remember because it sets up  immediately sets up a group fellowship with people who are having the same difficulty. It also makes us feel that we too are not alone, but that there is someone else out there that is experiencing the same difficulty as you and me.

 

One the best part of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is that we don’t have to be alone if we don’t want to be. That might sound strange to some of us but we have to admit that what keeps us depressed is our need to keep apart from other.  To remain disconnected and isolated. We have a need to be by ourselves and to stay apart from human contact. For to be in contact with others like me is that we will have to take some risks  and to make some choices. But when I am depressed and alone I don’t have to make as many choices or take any action except to keep  isolating myself and staying apart. This Home Study Program will help you see that it is in being part of a bigger group, with people like yourselves, which  will gradually give you the desire  to be part,  share and  stay involved in your own  active recovery using the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous. ”

Source:  Home Study Program: (c)The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, pages 4 and 5.

“One of the more constant behaviors of the individual depressing is to engage in fewer and fewer pleasant activities. The person depressed just can’t bring himself or herself to do anything that might cause a sense of elation or pleasure. If you feel that you are bad, worthless and without any value, then you can’t  get yourself to do something that might make you have a good feeling about yourself. An individual depressing can make him or herself feel anxious, sick and even faint. With the support of a group like Depressed Anonymous and the fellowship here on the web one   can begin to see that life doesn’t have to be lived alone and in  misery. And that is precisely the miracle of the group. You begin to see that you can stay parked in  neutral in your misery and feel hopeless or you can  step out in faith as most members of our group do, and admit that you’ve had it with the sadness and begin to choose life. I do believe and know  a renewed sense of hope is in our hands – we can choose to be sad or by our inaction could choose to live without purpose and  joy.  It’s a risk we choose to take. ”

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM:  (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 37.

NOTE:  The Home Study Program/Kit includes both the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. This Program is available for purchase online  here at the Depressed Anonymous Website.  Other literature, which applies to  the 12 Steps and to the experience of depression are likewise available. Check it out.