Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Can I think my way out of depression?

September 19, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

That very question is one which I myself have asked. It would have been neat if I could have just set my mind to it and deciding not to pay any attention to those never ending ruminations about my life and all those crazy thoughts and painful feelings that came to roost in my mind. They were unending. You know, sort of dig a hole and bury your head in it. Hoping against hope that all the noise would just stop. It got worse. I told myself–it’s only going to get worse. It did!

It was strange how the more I didn’t want to have these thoughts live in my head, day after day, the more my mood continued spiraling down into that abyss where no kind word, no positive thinking, nor pleasant future for myself dwelt. My thoughts turned angry and my mood was at a ground zero.

Now what do I do I thought to myself? What can I do? All these thoughts were accompanied with an anxiety that seemed to envelop my whole body and turned my insides into to what felt like a shaking bowl of jelly. At this point, my mind was not thinking of anything, but being fixated on how rotten I was feeling. Again, what can I do? How to get this constant agitation and jitteriness removed? And how did it get this way in the first place. No answers.

I told myself. Nothing can help me. I might as well give up– throw in the towel. Even my thinking was changing. I couldn’t read with any comprehension or even wanting to do the most common of my normal daily activities. All my thoughts seemed like sand slipping through my fingers. I was losing my grip on reality. Was I losing my mind?

I knew that I couldn’t lie in bed all day and do nothing. I knew that my mind was not coming up with any solutions that would ignite my motivation to move. “That’s it” I said to myself. I got to get moving. And so that is what I did. I started to move the body–and gradually my mind began to work, but I had to prime the mental machinery to get it operative once again. I made up my mind that I must walk myself out of the mental and physical mess that I was in. I knew that if I just moved the body my mind would follow–at least that is what I was hoping would happen. And after a year or so, my mind did began to work. My thoughts gradually became clearer and by taking care of my body’s physical needs (exercise) my mind welcomed this healthy change. I also had my support group Depressed Anonymous help me at our meetings. I could call them anytime and get some help. I WAS NOT ALONE.

I noticed that gradually my low mood was spiraling upwards and my mood began lifting the fog that had me confused and dazed and immobile.

Did I think my way out of depression? I don’t think so. What did happen is that over time I learned how to create my own “red flags” alerting me when I discovered my thinking was getting off track. Now these “red flags ” pop up in my mind when old negative thoughts, negative behaviors and irrational thoughts want to start their cycling around in my head. The old habits that create depression die hard. Now I use my many tools (see Tools for Recovery at site menu) that defend me against relapsing and spiraling out of control. In other words, I have brought a new and sane balance into my life and my thinking.

Before, when I was depressed, my mind was filled with horrible thoughts, suicidal thoughts and my thinking was getting more and more erratic. In fact, the mind was telling me all sort of negative lies about myself–which I believed. I felt worthless and helpless in the midst of this negativity, an unyielding, relentless, and pounding me down tsunami-like, till I was flat on my back.

My mind has learned a lot since those days when I was a prisoner of my own fears. My thinking no longer focuses on what is negative about myself. Now I am focused on what I like about myself and ways that will help me grow and be of help to others just like me. Now it’s all about the progress I am making on a daily basis and not worrying about being perfect.

One of our best tools is to use the Depressed Anonymous Workbook where I can go through each of the 12 Steps and relate my own depression experience to myself, my past and discover reasons how I got depressed in the first place. Questions in this book prepare us to make discoveries about ourselves and our lives which we never gave much thought previous to our getting into reovery.

I cannot think myself out of depression. I know that now. I tried that route. Funny thing though, is that I always came back to where I started with no more answers than when I started. It’s like a dog chasing its tail.

  (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville, KY.
(c) Home Study Program of Recovery.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

For more information on Depressed Anonymous Fellowship publications, please check out the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Ordering online is available.

Hope

I need to keep the focus on HOPE!

September 17, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“Making direct amends and taking a personal inventory continues our progress in the program and helps free us from all the hurts of the past. We know now that we can’t afford to think long about real or imagined hurts, or we will throw ourselves back into saddening ourselves once again.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

One of the things that is toxic to the depressed person is a negative thought. This thought continues to grow, once nurtured by my attention and rumination, into a large and uncontrolled wild weed taking all the attention from the good things happening in my life. I know that I can no longer give into that first thought that I keep allowing to pound me into the ground. My negative thinking is very much akin to drinking for the alcoholic. Once I give into that first moment of self-bashing, the depression spiral begins.

Hurts form my past continue to grow stronger the more I allow them to dominate my thinking and my behavior. Hurts are best eradicated when I deal with them openly and honestly.

MEDITATION

Our spirit hopes in God as we begin today with a prayer and a belief that this day can be a good one like all the good days that I have had in my past. (Personal comment).

Resources

(C) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous, Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 154. September 17.

The Promises

I no longer have to endure like a passive victim

August 15, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Victim or survivor? Which shall it be? How can I be a survivor when I can hardly motivate myself to do anything, just anything positive to kick start my recovery. What is the first thing that has to happen for me to get on the road to recovery.

For my own life, the motivator was to face the fact that something physical was happening to me as I was finding myself in a continual funk. Since we are of one piece, the fatigue that came from just the simple process of thinking began to affect my whole body. I found that my thinking became obsessive and compulsively totally centered on my life’s losses plus the shame and guilt that accompanied them. I felt like the guy who is walking around with the sign on his back saying “kick me.” In my mind there was no way out. I was in lockdown. I was down on my luck and flat on my back.

It was then that I knew I had to make a decision–get up and move or stay down and die. I got back up on my feet and decided to move. I really had not a clue where I was headed but I knew that doing nothing was not the answer. It was then that I went to a Twelve Step meeting, developed by persons like me, depressed and flat on their backs. But there was a major difference between them and myself. These folks had a solution. They explained how their own way out was to get connected with those like themselves (depressed), flee their isolation and start using a plan that promised hope and freedom from the prison bars of their own depression.

These folks wrote a book, it is called Depressed Anonymous and presents us with a plan that works. The plan is filled with hope. And if there is no Depressed Anonymous in your community you can use the Home Study Kit for your personal guide.

You will discover that your recovery commitment to yourself has placed you on the recovery road. The Promises of Depressed Anonymous as outlined in our program will bring you to a new place, an horizon where your life appears filled with the light of hope. You will become a survivor. If you want to learn more about who we are and what we can achieve as part of the fellowship, you will find the tools that will bring a change about in your own life which will bring you in contact with others like ourselves but also will bring hope and serenity. For information that will inspire you and guide you for what works for us, and for you, is to go to our Homepage at depressedanon.com where you will find a list of articles and info, plus books written by those of us who have been depressed, but now live to help others like ourselves. We’ve been there –done that. Now we live one day at a time with hope and freedom.

Resource

The Promises

I want to change!

July 7, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

“When I keep my focus on the solution and not on the problem, my attitude seems to lighten up! “Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.”

This expression is one of the many Promises made to those of us who want to follow and live out the 12 Steps of Recovery in our daily lives. By doing so we are able to change the way we think, feel and act everyday of our lives. How is this possible you might ask? Well, for starters, you are given a dynamic action plan for your guide all the time, 24/7. That in itself is something that I had been looking for when I found myself locked down, in a corner, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. I was in a hole and I knew I had to stop digging.

“My depression was my constant companion. There was no change. It was like a shadow that went anywhere and everywhere I went. It was then that I decided that I’d rather have security and hope as my daily companions. I’ve decided that I can choose between being depressed and being serene. Misery is an option. I know that since I have been in denial about my depression continually weighing me down for years, I am making a decision that I believe my faith in my abilities can cause me to feel differently about myself. My new life is trying to live without depression. The more I succumb to wanting to isolate myself and hunker down with my depression, the sicker I get. I know that I will find a new beginning by ridding myself of any fear that is oppressing me now, today. The only thing that can make me insecure is to slip back into that awful feeling of sadness and with the belief that I will never feel better. Now I also feel secure being back in contact with God, as I understand God, my Higher Power. My new faith in my Higher Power makes me fearless.”

A solution for me is to be part of a fellowship of men and women who are looking to have that same hope as did I more than 30 years ago. The solution came to me in a prepackaged format, Depressed Anonymous, a book which outlined how to live this new life, while simultaneously putting me on a path of hope. Not only have I stayed on this path these many years but I have given to others how they can have the same experiences as I have.

I continue to share my gift with you, which is the “gift of my depression experience. Without this experience, my life would never have turned into the powerful reality that it is today. In fact, I am doing right now what I have been doing most of my adult life–sharing with hurting depressed people how there is hope and serenity.

The biggest gift is to know there are many Depressed Anonymous groups around the world who are willing to share with you their own stories of being set free from the chains of depression. We are a community of hope. Will you join us?

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

+ Please go to Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore to discover helpful and inspirational books which may be ordered online.

Fellowship, Grief, Hope

I have learned and I have grown

June 25, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“As I began working on the abuse issues in therapy, the pieces of my life began to fall together in a way they never could have before, as I had never dealt with this catastrophic event. In the book, Depressed? Here is a way out! the author talks about how people find their time of depression to be one of the great gifts in their life. The first time I read this, I thought it was the craziest thing I had ever heard. Yet during this time of depression, I have learned and I have grown. I have come to understand myself and my God in a way I never could before.

It has been many years now. Life is starting to come together for me again, one day at a time by the grace of God and the fellowship of this program. From the very first time I walked through the doors of Depressed Anonymous I knew that I was in the right place. Having been an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous for so many years, I was already a firm believer in the Twelve Steps. I attended meetings, I worked the Steps with my sponsor. I used the Depressed Anonymous phone list and talked to people about my pain and my day to day problems. I read the book and followed the suggestions in it.

With God, through Depressed Anonymous, this program and the fellowship literally carried me through the darkest time of my life and God did not let me die. I have truly experienced the ‘miracle of the group.’ I have heard it said that sometimes God’s greatest miracles are unanswered prayers. I believe it. After all, I am one.”

–Anonymous

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 119-120.

Positivity

Don’t Let Life Get You Down

June 20, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

+ People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

+ If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

+If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.

+ If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.. Be honest and frank anyway.

+What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.

+If you find serenity, and happiness, there may be jealousy. Be happy anyway.

+The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Be happy anyway.

+Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

+You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Copyright (c) Mother Teresa

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Fellowship, Spirituality

Depressed or unhappy?

May 23, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Depressed Anonymous bases its healing and recovery on the premise that once depressed persons admit they are out of control, even to the extent of attempting suicide, they come to believe that a power greater than themselves can restore them to sanity, while at the same time, making a decision to turn their minds and wills over to the care of God, as they understand God,

The God, as we under stand God, is what appeals to more and more persons as we admit our helplessness over our compulsive, depressive thoughts, actions, or behaviors. We feel we have lost all control over everything including our thinking. The depressed person is aware that their unpleasant thinking is a cyclical and spiraling process where there is never a respite. This obsession, driven by one’s one feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness is the fuel that that continues our own isolation. This experience is not so much a psychopathology as it is a way for the human spirit to comfort itself. The depression is more of a disease of isolation and being disconnected than a biological disorder.

The Twelve Step program helps people to become God conscious. It is in working the program while making no excuses for the spiritual nature of our recovery. We can begin to attribute our new found sense of hope and peace to the Higher Power. For the active member of Depressed Anonymous, there begins to glimmer in the distance the bright light of hope.

By recognizing how it feels to be depressed, more people will have the help and guidance that will get them through their depression. Lives will be saved as well. Besides reading the Twelve Steps at each meeting, the group learns on a firsthand basis about the “miracle of the group.” It is in the sharing and getting connected with the other members of the group where one’s recovery begins.

RESOURCES:

Please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more information on Depression, spirituality and recovery.

Acceptance, Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mindfulness

There is hope for you now

May 21, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

“One of the most important things to remember in the midst of depression is that it won’t last forever, that there is hope for you to begin to feel better. We won’t tell you to SNAP OUT OF IT (who have never experienced depression) like other folks, because we are not turning something on and off like a water faucet. Just as it took years to get where you are now, it takes time to get better and air out your sad thoughts as well.” D. Rowe

I know that in our program of recovery we try and live one day at a time. This is not easy for someone who usually wants to know the outcome for something that might happen ten years from now, not to mention the need to try and make right something not done properly ten years from our past. When I work my program I want to work on myself, finding serenity in knowing that in time and with patient work I can begin to feel better. There are just too many success stories of how people get better when they work their Twelve Step recovery program.

Forever is a word that hardly is heard in a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I intend to try and live just for today. I accept that I am depressed but that I do have a choice to find my way out of this sadness. I also believe that it is irrational to think that this sadness can last forever. The more I change the way I think and behave the more positive will my attitude be about my recovery.

MEDITATION

Our Higher Power, or our God as we understand God, is guiding and leading us toward a life free from sadness. We intend to place more of our trust in its hands. (Personal comments).

RESOURCES

(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Note. To discover more literature about depression and recovery please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at VISIT THE STORE. All literature can be ordered online.

Acceptance, Faith, Focus

When the student is ready the teacher arrives

May 18, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

My shame of not being in control of my life has paradoxically placed me in more of a state of powerlessness, feeling hopeless and helpless.

“…that’s the way it is with depression –over the years you get comfortable with being miserable, which doesn’t mean you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk feeling different.

Now that I have admitted I am having a difficult time living, I wanting to learn some new avenues that will make my life more enjoyable and more livable.

I know now that at this point that I think my life is at its lowest point – that is when this program of recovery came into my life. I believe with the Psalmist that who said that we need to commit ourselves to God, trust in God, and that the God of my understanding will act in my behalf.

When I learn to let go of all those persons, mental images, past hurtful situations and memories, the better I am able to let God control my life. I find this “letting go” a fearsome project. I nevertheless find that I must do it– if I want to find hope .

Some of the major ways people help build the walls of their depression are to consider themselves worthless. They won’t allow themselves to get angry. They can’t forgive themselves or others, and they believe that life is hard and death is worse. Also, they believe that since bad things happened to them in the past bad things are bound to happen to them in the future.”

Resources:

(C)) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 7.

See the Home Study project for more information for working with another for one’s recovery.

Fellowship, Hope, Service, Spirituality, Step 01, The 12 Steps

Stepping out of hopelessness

May 15, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

One of the greatest feelings I experienced in confronting my depression was that I began to have hope. I began to believe what others were saying about the Steps. They were telling me that the plan that they followed everyday of their lives was giving them a positive feeling that they were going to step out of the swamp of sadness and hopelessness. In fact, those who spoke these encouraging words already were manifesting the strength and power of the 12 Steps in their own lives. I was one of these people.

A question that continued to cross my mind during my period of pain and isolation was basically “is life worth living.” Many folks depressed still debate this question in their minds. And far too many have provided us their answer that “life is not worth it.”

This has been my mission over these past years to show by example of other’s recovery (plus my own) that with appropriate faith, work and the spiritual tools, life can be good again. There is a faith, a strong indomitable spirit at the core of every human being, that hope is available to all who seek it.” What you seek, will seek you.” It’s almost akin to the belief in Karma–as you give out so will you receive back–in some way, at some time in your own life experiences. I don’t know how or why, but I do know that it just works out that way.

When I was first introduced to the 12 Steps, I came to my first meeting, willing to learn what I could to recover fully from my addiction. I had to have hope that something would work. It would have to work for me. And members of this 12 Step group presented me stories, facts and situations where persons completely down and out, physically, mentally and spiritually found hope in the confusion and despair of their own hopelessness and became free.

No longer did we feel hopeless of finding a way out of what was killing us. Yes, “we” found a way out. The plan was before us and the group was behind us as we plodded along, each of us supporting the other til we finally completed our Steps. We now share how our stepping into hope continues to be the North star for me these past thirty plus years for my own life.

Is life worth living? For many years now I discovered how a faith, a strong belief in my Higher Power, and a bonded group of men and women have continued to travel the same path as my own.

If you want more information about our group Depressed Anonymous please check out our website at www.depressedanon.com for a full explanation of who we are and what we do. You’ll want to step out with us.

Hope is just a few steps away!