Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Affirmations, Exercise, Fellowship, Purpose

Sisyphus and his rock.

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There is an ancient Greek myth about a greedy King (Sisyphus)  from Corinth who was sent to Hades (hell) and who spent all eternity pushing a heavy rock up the hill, only to have the rock roll down again.

What do I make of this myth? What meaning can we give to it? What is its message?  And how can I relate it to my own life?

First of all, it has all sorts of meaning for all sorts of situations in my own life. I like to think of the story about Sisyphus and his rock much like my own story and struggles with the “rock” that I keep pushing up the hill. That rock was my struggle with  depression which  always seemed to be a part of my daily existence. Everyday, I just knew that it was time for me to face the rock and start pushing.   In time, the thought of facing another day with my hands on the rock gradually wore me down. I was exhausted.

I couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings. I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t think a coherent thought. My nerves were in revolt and my anxiety precluded any sort of activity that might help me escape my rock pushing. I began to feel hopeless and too helpless to walk away from this rock which was  chained to my mind, body and spirit.  I felt I had no choice but to get up and push the rock.

This started me to force myself to walk each day, and without thinking about the rock. It was like I was distracted from thinking about anything while I walked. And so in time, with my daily walks, I found that my rock grew smaller and smaller. And then one day, I reached the top of the hill without my rock. I was free. I felt free. I felt that my time in hell had ended.  (Read: I’ll do it when I feel better. Depressed Anonymous Publications).

Over the years I have found other tools besides that of walking in dealing with my depression. I founded a group, called Depressed Anonymous, where all the various shapes and forms of Sisyphus could gather, share their hopes, and their  victories and discard their rocks. I knew that being all alone in one’s hell, made life even more unbearable. But with a group of persons together, all with their own situations and experiences could get the strength to find their way out of this rock pushing bondage  .

All in all, I have found that when you get together with others like yourself, and you share your stories, things start to change.  You finally feel accepted, and made welcome  as you share your own rock pushing over the years, months, even a lifetime. We all can check our “rocks” at the door as we discuss ways out of our misery,  week after week .

For more information please check out our stories in our manual Depressed Anonymous, which by the way, is written by those of us who have been depressed and are in recovery, attending Depressed Meetings week after week. And if there is no meeting in our community we can also participate in our Home Study Program of Recovery, accompanied by an online sponsor.

Click onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for  learning more about who we are and what we do.  If you choose you can order online from our website at depressedanon.com.

Join us here everyday as we continue sharing our serenity and our hope online at our BLOG: Depressed Anonymous.

 

Acceptance, Denial

I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed. That seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me

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           A Medley of Depression Stories. 2017. (With permission of the author Deborah Sanford.) This work can be found available  at Amazon.com.

                               Cindy’s Story of regrets.

”  I am realizing what a young woman I was when I had my kids. Now at 32 with 13 and 11 year old sons, I can barely find the energy to just live through today. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulder to raise them, to teach them morals and care for them and keep them out of trouble.  Since both are diagnosed ADHD, I spend a great deal of time at the school fighting the administration on their behalf. It is exhausting. I hear myself saying in my thoughts: “I just want it to be over.” I feel depressed so often. I think how I just want to run away and leave my husband to raise them. When will  it ever be time for me? Their father works all the time. I would on most day’s trade places with him gladly. The house stays a mess. and their dishes, cups and glasses stay  seated where they leave them. It  doesn’t seem fair.  I don’t remember asking for this job. How could a busy robust life turn into this?  I can’t find the hope to be anything or do anything anymore. By the time I get them raised I will not qualify for any jobs except  spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread!  Some days I think I just could start over but I know I can’t go back 14 years ago. I love my boys to pieces but, I feel so trapped, so hopeless and so valueless. After this ongoing heavy feeling of hopelessness, I found a good therapist who also told me about a local Depressed Anonymous meeting for depression. I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed, that seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me. I didn’t think I was depressed anyway to even search for a depression meeting. I just thought everything in my life was just wrong and messed up. And I just needed  to “figure how to fix it.”   She (therapist) assured me that I had fallen into a depression and that a support group would really benefit me! She was right! I can’t find the words for how much the Depressed Anonymous meetings have helped me. I have been able with help to put things into perspective. I’ve learned to take it one day  at a time. The boys are teenagers and truthfully I wouldn’t have them but for a few more years. I want to treasure the little bit of time left that I will have. And my therapist encouraged me to hire a housekeeper for just three hours a week to mop and catch up laundry  and dishes. My problems are solvable! Thank God! I haven’t  felt trapped and stuck for quite a while now. My husband is always going to have to work long hours but my life has become more manageable in the meantime. And I have met new friends at the support  group who have kids and feel like I was feeling. It’s so nice to be able to relate to them. I am so very grateful for Depressed Anonymous.”

–Cindy is a member of Depressed Anonymous. Her story is part of a collection of 35 stories,  all centered on persons depressed who have found   help and hope in the fellowship of Depressed 

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NOTE: The author, Debra Sanford, is the Founder of Depressed Anonymous groups in the North Carolina communities of Elizabeth City and Edenton, NC.  We thank her for the permission to post this inspiring story on our Blog today.

  SOURCE: Below you can   get more information  on the new book,  (c) A Medley of Depression Stories.

                        https://the depression stories. wordpress.com/

                        Email: the depressionstories@gmail.com

 

 

Fellowship, Hope, Victim Thinking

Today, I will begin to dig myself out of the deep hole that is depression.

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On this New Year’s Day, I find that my work for my life today, and only today, is to reflect on a time in my life that I have experienced a feeling of happiness and contentment. If I can remember a pleasant situation form the past, I will construct a happy situation and imagine it occurring right now.

In getting my priorities straight, my feelings of depression lessened.

Clarification of Thought

In my relationship to God, I am beginning to realize that it isn’t so much that I believe  that I’ll ever feel better, but that I just can’t know for sure.  My first priority is to admit that I have a problem and that with God’s help  I can get through my depression.

As soon as I give up my victim stance and begin to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I can start to work as if my recovery is really up to me and that I will, in time, succeed in getting out of this deep hole that I call depression. My priority is to begin each day with the conviction that the Twelve Steps will be an aid in getting out of my depression.

MEDITATION

God, we seek your guidance and your strength for our lives. Whatever we have lost or feel we have lost, please heal the holes in our souls and fill them with your love and peace. In our quiet time today, show us what part of us needs to be healed.” See Steps 1, 2, 3.

SOURCE:   Copyright(c)  Smith, Hugh. Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowships.  Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville, KY. Page 1.

Acceptance, Powerlessness

My best thinking got me to where I am today

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Most persons, once they sober up, get on the path of sobriety and start the hard work of recovery, realizing that all their excuses and delays of finding help, illustrate the insanity of their thinking. How often did I say to myself  (my best thinking?) that “I don’t need help, I can beat this demon on my own.”

In our Depressed Anonymous Manual for recovery from depression, I was told on a number of occasions by some very suicidal and depressed people, “No, I’m alright, I can handle this.” The tragedy here is that two weeks later, my friend killed himself.  Of course, he was thinking that he surely could quit this drug that had him paralyzed and helpless. He was in a dark pit of hopelessness.  He  wasn’t  paralyzed because he had shackles around his legs,  but he was immobilized because of his denial that he needed help.

My situation was pretty much the same as my friends. But thank goodness because of my being cited for driving while intoxicated that I was forced by my boss to go get help  (AA) or check myself in at an in patient treatment facility. I was given a choice: choose one or the other or lose my job. I chose the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and was given the tools to live a life filled with hope.

What works for any addiction and compulsive behavior/thinking  also works for someone depressed and suicidal.  I know, been there and done that. Try it. Happy New year! Have a happy new life.

Hugh

12 Step Meeting, Courage

How can I change if I am depressed?

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Has depression distorted us from the truths of life, namely that life is to be lived with hope and serenity.  Nursing along a good habit can in time  wean us from old and debilitating habits of thought and behavior. We want to daily fill our day with the gratitude that we are in deed getting better and that the trust that we have is indeed placed in our Higher Power.

In order for us to change and In order for us to escape depression, we need to begin to be aware of the process of how people change. This process for change is of the nature of a spiral  instead of a straight line. In other words, now that we are willing to risk feeling differently, we have been gearing up to improve our situation. In other words, we are making a very important decision right now about our lives.

1. Awareness stage: We become conscious that we can’t go on feeling the way we do. Something has to give.

2. Motivating stage: I am going to prepare myself for needed changes in my thinking, acting and feeling.

3. Doing stage: I am going to take charge and be responsible for positive changes that have to be  made by me if I am going to feel better and differently.

4. Maintaining stage: I will continue to seek out and sustain my recovery with people, concepts and my personal working the 12 Step program of recovery.

 

I believe that it is when we begin to understand the process of the 12 steps begin the important process of enlarging our awareness of our own depression experience and slowly learn how to apply them  to our daily lives. This awareness will place us directly in a recovery program, using the formula for success in overcoming depression.

We highly recommend that anyone who wants to escape depression   begin to study our program of recovery as outlined in our Manual DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS and begin to question oneself as to how, when  and what began the spiraling downward into despair  of our own depression. Our Workbook, is the greatest tool in unearthing  the ways   that put us in the place that we are today.  We  do this by gradually working our way out of this maze of problems and situations that   shackled and immobilized us day after day.

The more attention that we give to how we got where we are today, the more we will be motivated to continue our quest to use the tools provided by Depressed Anonymous. Once we get busy with the work of understanding how depression works, the more we will find ourselves  motivated to get free of our life of hopelessness.

 

 

 

SOURCE:  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2001, 2017) . DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. Louisville. PAGE 41.

Fellowship, Love, Mindfulness

The gift that just keeps on giving!

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“These Twelve Step;s work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time.  Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more that we have withdrawn deeper into  the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story.  There is something healing  about hearing ourselves speak to others about  our own journey in life and the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives were jinxed. But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings regularly, the more we will find members of  the group telling us how they are seeing a change in the way we act, talk  and look.  We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they all have been where  we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work the program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out to others in the group, it is at that point thay you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed Anonymous. ”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 105.

The last Step of the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous says it best for those of us who  now want to be that “gift that keeps on giving.” and become bearers of HOPE.

STEP TWELVE of   the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS FELLOWSHIP

“Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we  tried to carry this message to the depressed,  and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, Journaling, Love

I need a manual on how to live life!

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The other day I noticed that one of my head lights was out. I thought why spend good money and have a mechanic fix this thing? I will just find a manual that fits the make and year of my car and do it myself. So that is what I did. It worked perfectly and I saved my self some grief from a mechanic’s bill.

Before this situation I was visiting my mechanic about a problem that I knew I could not fix and so I went into the garage and found him under the hood peering intently into the car’s engine. At the same time, he was reading carefully from a manual, spread out over the engine illustrating the engine parts with pictures and text. I thought, wow! just like my wife when she is cooking up a new dish. Her new dish was illustrated with pictures and text, giving step by step directions for giving her latest creation new life. Many times at a 12 Step group meeting how many times that I felt I needed a manual on how to live life successfully. When you are born, your Mom didn’t get a manual from the doctor telling her how her new creation was to live his/her life.

Fast forward to adolescence and young adulthood or even as an older adult in retirement. In the midst of living out our life there may come a time when we are baffled, surprised about a personal condition that we find we have no control. In our mind we try and figure out what is wrong with us. What is happening to us. And for the sake of an example, which I personally know best–been there done that–I painfully discovered I was depressed and getting myself deeper into the dark pit as I continued to ruminate uselessly on what I had and how to escape this terrible pain. The more I ruminated and worried the more I isolated myself. I wanted to know if I was losing my mind, had a brain cancer or some new and incurable disease.

Because I already was a member of another12 Step program of recovery, it was obvious, that the Big Book of their fellowship, outlined step by step the nature of our illness and gave a detailed program of recovery on how to live with the interminable effects and symptoms of my illness. The manual worked whereas before I was powerless to get anything to work for me that could change my life.

And then Depressed Anonymous was founded and I soon discovered there was a manual for this illness that was working for other persons depressed so why couldn’t it work for me. It was depression that seemed to have me by the throat with its innumerable symptoms. Just as those who put out cook books with hundreds of recipes, I found the perfect recipe, or detailed instructions, on how to leave the prison of my depression. And the best part of this Manual, Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, was that there was a group discussion meeting that talked about these helpful and healing instructions. If you were experiencing depression these steps would work for any one else as well.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want you, the reader, to think we are minimizing the “life threatening “ issues that go with the depression experience by using the mechanic and cook book analogies. But if I had not had access to this Manual with its detailed information on how to get well and to feel better ( by the way–all our material is written by people like me–depressed and in recovery), I probably would have struggled longer and who knows what would have become of me.

Our recipe for wellness can be located at The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Also go to the Website Menu (depressedanon.com) and check out our HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Anyone can use this Manual, Depressed Anonymous and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook together if a Depressed Anonymous group is not in one’s area.

Choice, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Journaling, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

If you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one bite at a time

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The following quotation is taken from our “Big Book” Depressed Anonymous (3rd edition) as it appears on page 95.

“All of us who are substance addicted (compulsivre overeating, alcohol, cocaine, pre- scription medication) or process addicted–addicted to a behavior ( the workaholic, sex, gambling, depression) know that in order to free ourselves from the intoxicating experience, we have to first want to give it up and live without it.  We best do this   one day or one hour at a time. Don’t say you will quit a self-destructive behavior for one year at a time and see how you do. No, trying to live one day at a time is a lot easier.  As someone once said “if you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one day at a time.” We know from past experience that our  sobriety, our disappearance of sadness is due to letting go and admitting my powerlessness over my sadness. It  is turning it over to my Higher Power and letting it take care of my sadness. I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to live without it.”

***

If you happen to be part of our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY, you will want to turn to page 80 of the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both the Manual and the Workbook come together as important tools in overcoming our attachment to the ruminations and isolation that depression brings upon us.

“All of our efforts so far in this Workbook have been directed toward overcoming  –cleaning house if you will —so that our will might be properly disposed to God’s will and that we might feel free and no longer hopeless. We know that our enthusiasm to change will grow the more we desire that change. The more we change the more  we will cast off the shackles from our lives that keep us imprisoned and isolated.”

COMMENT  Like the quote of how to eat an elephant, we also are most aware that you can’t just wish to get rid  of an obsession or addiction, it takes time and work–one day at a time. There is no easy or comfortable way to battle our demons except through work, prayer and meditation. And for me, one of the best ways to overcome my addictions is to use the 12 spiritual principles of the 12 Steps every day of my life. And again, it’s one bite, one step at a time.  Don’t wait. Do something today. Don’t tell yourself the lie, “I’ll do it when I feel better.” Take the plunge.  If there is no meeting in your  community then work with a DA sponsor/guide and participate in our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. Go to the main site depressedanon.com  menu under the title HOME STUDY PROGRAM. The program is operating presently.

****

SOURCES:   The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous          Publications. Louisville. Page 80.

                             Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 95.

Please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more helpful literature on THE HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY  and information on how to order online.

If you would like to participate in the Home Study, please contact the director at Depanon@netpenny.net. Thank you.

 

Acceptance, Focus

Coming full circle

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When it first came to me that persons depressed might possibly profit from  a 12 step group approach to overcoming depression, it was not in my wildest dreams which could  have prepared me for what has been unfolding  and continues to this day  in my life.

While experiencing the Hanbedeceya of the Dakota (Sioux) people’s version of the Vision Quest, I experienced the seed of a vision that  gradually  began to unfold in my life over time.

On a lonely South Dakota  hilltop back in 1977, I saw a large circle in the sky – the beginning  of a vision was beginning to unfold for me. This day was preceded by two days of total fast and without so much as a sip of water. The days spent without food and drink –days spent in prayer and waiting–gave me a vision that there was something for me to do with my life. I felt deeply for those suffering isolation and who felt they were all alone in their personal hour of agony. Those alone  in nursing homes and those incarcerated in their own feelings of helplessness and hopelessnesss and despai. Someow, fortuitously for me-gace happens -my direction would be that of helping others get comnected with with those still suffering from the same isolation as themselves. I realize that many times we can best determine god’s will for us by looking back over the events of our lives and see how God has led us to our present work. It was a personal joy to me that a person’s depression  would be greatly diminished if they shared their story with people who much like themselves come together and  learn to work the spiritual 12 step program together. Here they  learn to work the spiritual 12 Step program of Depresed Anonymous.

This is the amazing power of Depressed Anonymous. It is a program that is available 24 hours a day and not just during business hours. It is a program that is based on the suggested 12 step spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What is apparent is that our program is beginning to catch on and provide real lasting hope to more and more persons depressed and who  are discovering that to be connected to a Depressed Anonymous group is tantamount to connecting to hope itself.

I see now that the vision of the circle (1977) in those many years ago (now 2017)  is still gradually unfolding and forming more circles and that these circles of loving fellowship are  continuing to provide the hope  which eventually  will lead us out of the despair of our own depression.

“We made a decision to turn our  wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”  (Step 3 of Depressed Anonymous.)

Hugh

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope

Personal empowerment is an investment in ourselves

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It is with a personal sense of awe that I see the empowerment that comes to those persons who work the 12 Step  program of Depressed Anonymous. The empowerment comes to those who are conscious of the various ways they will have to change if their lives are to grow and change. This of course is not without its risks.

One of the major obstacles that we have to face when we are depressed is to be willing to change the way we think about ourselves, the world and our future. And of course, to change the future we have to dwell and experience the pleasant as well as the unpleasant feelings in the present. We have to be willing to face the discomfort of living life with a sense of unpredictability. This is not an easy task, but it is a task that can be achieved with time, patience and work.

  Empowerment comes from being informed and making choices that help us change our lives for the better.  When I came to Depressed Anonymous meeting I am making the first major step–namely, that I admit with my presence at the group meeting that my life is out of control. My compulsion to depress myself is at the root of my inability to take on the challenge of living life with risk and enthusiasm. But how can I possibly say that I want to depress myself?  We are not blaming ourselves here  but are taking responsibility for our own feelings, behavior and thinking. We are no longer going to  run on mental auto-pilot. Now that I am conscious of some negative patterns of my own for my own behavior I can get on with learning new strategies for my own healing. With the heartfelt prayer of a monk, I now understand that it is by sharing the story of my life –and with the conviction that someone is there to listen, that this can in time help me make it out of my prison of fear and sadness.

I am empowered by taking the bull by the horns and choosing each new day, one day art a time, and start to feel different. I now have the support of the group–a sponsor–support from those people who have walked where I have walked.

I am investing in myself. I am making my recovery my highest priority. I may have been on all the antidepressants medications- I may have seen all the counselors, psychiatrists and doctors but now finally I am going to a room full of depressed people –people who understand me. These people I discover are investing in themselves. What will I find there? I will find some of the most caring people on the face of thee earth. Some of the group will have ben coming for months, and they are having more good days than bad and it’s getting better. The more meetings they attend the better they feel and the more support they receive. They are feeling empowered. It’s the miracle of the group.  Instead of living with a compulsion to repeat old negative and life negating thought and feelings we now have a compulsion to live with hope plus a desire for a brand new way of living. We are now about  to change the way we live –not just the way we talk to ourselves.

We are going to get  a life.

I now feel that I’m getting better in learning how not to repeat my old way of thinking, feeling, believing and isolating myself. I now know that this  healing all takes time. With    work and patience I will get better. For most of us, it has taken us a few years to get here (depressed) so why not take the time and daily work toward getting better – one day at a time-one meeting at a time.

Hugh  /The Antidepressant Tablet

Dear reader: No DA group in your community. Today sign onto the Home Study Program of Recovery which begins online this November 15, 2017. There are no fees or dues just a commitment to utilize the Home Study combo of DA Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  This will be an online person to person program where emails between participant will form the basis for discussions between the participant and the sponsor.

Click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore to learn how to purchase study material.  SKYPE may also be an alternative means of communication.

For a description of the program please go to the Website menu at www.depressedanon.com and go to the Newsletter drop down menu where the latest Newsletter, titled The Antidepressant Tablet, Volume 1 Issue Fall, 2017. Here  a member of DA shares her recovery  experience using our new method of contact with the Home Study Program.  All the work is accomplished with emails between the sponsor and the DA member.  I know this  will help so much to facilitate one’s own recovery from depression.

To join, please sign up soon. Contact us at depanon@netpenny.net  for more information. Thank you.