Category Archives: 12 Step Meeting

Trick or treat? Last night it was goblins, monsters and everything in between. It was Halloween.

Halloween ( the word Halloween is from an earlier  period of time and means hallowed eve. In the Christian Church all Saints were honored the day before–thus, the ” eve”  part.)  Nowadays, this night is filled with children (and adults) dressed up   as various personages, animals and everything  in between. All of them had their little baskets and hoping to get them filled with candy, cookies and assorted sweet treats. Judging from all who came to our door last night I would say the evening turned  out to be a treat. No tricks!

When I was trying to navigate through the fog of  my depression a number of years ago, there were no treats –no special happy moments–nada! The whole  landscape of my life was filled with “emotional landmines” and  the mind with its delusions and illusions  tried to trick me into thinking I would always live in this  pit of darkness. But as soon as I began to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I found answers to my  unending trapped feelings.  The answers were not of the treat variety, but they gradually removed the bricks/tricks that formed the prison of my depression. No more was I forced to wear the false face of the smiling, happy-go lucky person.  No more was I the people pleaser, subservient to all who were part of my daily struggle. No, I now filled my futile days with practical ways which I learned how  to leave the sadness behind. I found the way out through the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous, and my newly discovered support group. No more tricks. No more days begun in a fog and ending in a fog. I Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understood God to be.

Everyday I treat myself to doing God’s will and believing that something good will happen for me this day What’s it going to be for you today? Trick or treat?

Source: (C) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the  prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Promise # 11. “Intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.”

As my mind began to heal and my thoughts became more lucid it became apparent  that something inside of myself was changing. Depression, when you begin to examine the various symptoms up close and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Some say that depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought  into play to defend  us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or that one feels abandoned. We have become so at one with our love object, that we mourn the death of part of us.  The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependence today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression. The symptoms proved to be baffling. I was not able to get out of bed as well as being unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought.  I began to worry that I was losing my mind and I often asked myself if I was going to survive. But now my ability to handle situations in a meaningful way is due to my  frequent attendance at meetings, and by making a daily time for prayer and meditation and feeling that my life has purpose and meaning.  The more I am physically active  and going to meetings even when I don’t feel like it. Working on my Depressed Anonymous Workbook, reading my Twelve Step literature. The behavior is where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy at times, but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that depression was not so powerful now as to prevent me from even thinking that I could choose to feel differently.”  (Read more tomorrow on Promise # 11.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) I’LL DO  IT  WHEN I FEEL BETTER.  (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 50-51.

Great Ideas Give Energy Of Purpose And Great Wings To The Soul!

“A great object to awaken resolute choice, must be seen to be within our reach.  The truth, that progress is the very end of our being, must not be received as a tradition, but comprehended and felt as a reality.  Our minds are apt to pine  and starve, by being imprisoned within what we have already attained. . A true faith , looking up to something better, catching  glimpses of distance perfection, prophesying to ourselves improvements proportional to our conscientious labors, gives energy of purpose, gives wings to the soul; and this faith will continually grow, by acquainting ourselves with our own nature, and with the promise of divine help and immortal life which abound in revelation… A great idea…if seized on clearly and vigorously, burns like a living coal in the soul.” –William Ellery Channing

Know what you want,  find out how to get it, and then go get it!

Within each of us is that soul spirit which urges us on to do what we know we must do. So often, almost  by a strange set of circumstances or coincidence we are presented with a person, an idea, or a situation by which we can fulfill the need which we search for.  Do not pass up this prompting, this nudge, but take it upon yourself to investigate and then to take it as your own if it appears to fulfill your need.

Did this fulfilled need just  “happen”  that I ran into an old friend?  Did it just “happen”  that I  picked up a book where my greatest need and solutions were outlined neatly? It was as if they were there all the time.

If you are reading this piece today, and feeling crushed down and alone, could it be that this message for you just didn’t happen but fulfills your own needs for healing and complete recovery from a depressed spirit?

Like all of us who  look for that nudge, that prompting which will push us to make an investment  in ourselves that can last a lifetime, and what I have done, these many years ago, and still use today, is the solution focused Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous for my everyday use and continued recovery. Was it the coincidence of a friend giving me a book on depression while I was searching for a way out of my depression  –did it just “happen” or did I see in this coincidence, that something, which had always been in plain sight, and knowing if I pursued this “happening” with vigor and tenacity I could be the serene person that I always wanted to be.

Here are the books that gave me the nudge to fulfill the Promises of the Twelve Steps. These two books, combined in use together are the source of my strength and the “idea”  that fulfilled my need. Follow your nudge! And if you have decided that you are reading this BLOG today, and that it’s message applies to your situation today then take a look at the HOME STUDY KIT and make something great “happen” for your life today!

HOME STUDY KIT (Visit the store)

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (201) Depresses Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Admit, believe, decide.

These three words appear in the first three Steps of Depressed Anonymous.  These are the words that make us well. These are the words that start us on our journey to a life lived without fear. These are the words that will thrust us into a life filled with hope and meaningfulness. Of the 12 Steps of recovery, these are the first steps that one takes when they want to find peace and hope.

I remember so vividly when I took my first step over the threshold of despair  and isolation into the bright light of awareness and hope at my first 12 step group meeting. Just by walking through the door I admitted that I needed help. My life had spiraled out of control. It was on that day, at that meeting of the fellowship, that others heard my story, that I started to believe that  I could be restored to a purposeful life lived with hope and peace. It was on that day, at that meeting, that I made a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understood God.

And here I am  today, 33 years later, not only with a life filled with a purpose designed to help others depressed but by doing so, have kept myself free from isolation and self-pity.

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SOURCE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Is depression an addiction?

At the weekly Depressed Anonymous meetings there stirs a glimmer of hope for the saddict  as he/she begins to encounter others like themselves at group meetings.  It is a bigger payoff for the saddict  to gradually believe that  the recovering members  of the Depressed Anonymous group are holding out a hope that can be theirs if only they would depend on the serenity of the members of the group rather than depend on the long time comfort of their addiction.

“Whether it is therapy or not, addicts improve when their relationships to work, family, and other aspects of their environment improve. Addicts  have come to count on the regular reward they get from their addictive involvement.  They can give up these rewards when they believe they will find superior gratifications from other activities such as  the DA meetings  in the regular fiber of their lives. Therapy helps this process by focusing on external rewards and assisting addicts in conceptualizing these rewards and obtaining them. What any rewards therapy itself produces must be regarded as intermediate and time limited, as a passage to the stable, environmental rewards that are necessary to create  a non addictive equilibrium in people’s lives. Only when such everyday but potent  reinforcements are firmly in place is an addiction cured. ”  Source: The Meaning of Addiction: Experience and its interpretation. Stanton Peale. Lexington Books. Lexington,  MA, 1988. p,55.

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SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2011) Louisville. Appendix  Is depression an addiction?

Knocking me down–raising me up.

In thinking about my experience with depression and the painful isolation that followed, I felt I was being knocked down by some invisible force. The force was so great that I felt I was going to be swallowed up in its vast black hole of nothingness. Indeed, I felt that I was going to end up being a hole in the doughnut. So, what could I do but try and ride it out–much like the surfer on their surfboard, riding precariously on one wave after another. I just knew that I would be forced out to sea as my body gradually began to slide off the only means of  survival. I thought that I had no options except to just surrender and go the bottom of the sea.

Well, that’s half of the story.  I knew I had to do something. Do anything but lie down and just linger on –immobile and lifeless. So, I picked myself up –got out of bed and started walking.And walk I did. Five miles a day. Almost two weeks later, with miles on my bodily odometer, I began to feel a little lighter – a little more hopeful that somehow I could get back in the game.  I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel — and it wasn’t a train.  And so it was possible — a person so depressed that I couldn’t force myself out of bed before, but now I know that I could raise myself up and move. I could move,  not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I felt hopeful and I felt a gratitude and relief that I was not losing my mind.

The greatest benefit was that it brought me  into a program of recovery where in order to remain standing up –raised up if you will, is my living out the 12 Steps of recovery in my daily life. Now all this happened some thirty years ago. Thanks to Depressed Anonymous and participating in the fellowship, I learn not only how  to live a life of serenity but I also how I have a gift of sharing my own experiences of depression and  offer others a way out of their depression. And  today if you are depressed,  please follow us in our program of recovery. All you need is a willingness to get better and live with hope. That’s it. A desire to get better. Admit you need hope and help and then get started. Move the body  and the mind will follow. Please join us.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous helps us get in touch with our best selves.

Taking charge and being responsible for oneself is at the core of all recovery programs. As we get into a discussion with other people who are depressed, much like ourselves, we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on their own behalf. These people who are doing better are also talking about taking charge of their lives and doing things for themselves instead of constantly trying to please others. In fact, at Depressed Anonymous meetings, the recovering people often delight at how assertive they are becoming now that they have gained a sense of mastery over their lives. They are also committed to their own recovery. People who want to change begin to swallow their pride and ask for help. They begin to get in touch  with their feelings and feel! This is truth and this is getting in touch with one’s best self.”

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SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 91.

We learn to be “nice.”

” Because you are unaware of being angry does not mean that you are not angry. It is the anger you are unaware of which can do the most damage to you and to your relationships with other people, since it does not get expressed, but in inappropriate ways. Freud once likened anger to the smoke in an old fashioned wood burning stove. The normal avenue for discharge of the smoke is up the flue and out of the chimney; if the normal avenue is blocked, the smoke will leak out the stove in unintended ways…around the door, through the grate, etc., choking everyone in the room. If all avenues of escape are blocked, the fire goes out and the stove ceases to function. Likewise, the normal human expression of anger is gross physical movement and /or loud vocalization; watch a red-faced hungry infant sometime. We learn to “be nice,” which  means  (among other things) hiding “bad” feelings. By adulthood, even verbal expression is curtailed, since a civilized person is expected to be “civil.” Thus, expression is stifled, and to protect ourselves from the unbearable burden of continually unexpressed “bad” feelings, we go to the next step and convince ourselves that we are not angry, even when we are.  Such deception is seldom completely successful and the blocked anger “leaks out” in inappropriate ways…”

Source: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2001) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 33.

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Some of my own feelings about anger have to do when anger is stifled or swallowed. I do know that a result of stifling my anger is the build up of resentments. If we want to really deal with our anger then we must be willing to express our feelings,  even though they might make us feel very uncomfortable. All I am saying is that  NOT to express feelings and stifle them will create more emotional pain and more damage for our lives. So, to my mind, the best way to get the anger out is to get oneself to a Depressed Anonymous meeting where we can get the help we need  and share those feelings that cause us so much grief.

“I felt the presence of my Higher Power every step of the way.”

Dear Depressed Anonymous Fellowship

I have been depressed for the last sixteen years.  The more I learn about depression the more I feel I have been depressed since I experienced a childhood trauma at age of 10.

In early April I found myself, once again, spiraling down into the abyss. I thought  “I cannot go thru this again.” I started to cry and I prayed out to my Higher Power for help. I remember saying “Lord,  if you lift me or remove me  of this depression, I will spend the rest of my life helping depressed people.”  I meant it.  This was no mere foxhole prayer.  No deal making with my Higher Power. This was for real.

I started thinking “there has to be an anonymous  program for depression. There  are anonymous programs for many other subjects. I kept praying the whole time. I got on the Internet and there it was. It wasn’t easy to find but I kept searching. (Google: www.depressedanon.com).

I began to research for meetings in my area or within a 40 mile radius of my home. It really wasn’t easy to find but I kept searching. Much to my chagrin I found nothing.

I purchased the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. I started reading the Manual. Started making sense to me. A lot of sense. I have been a member of another 12 step program for over 30 years so the language  was familiar to me. I started trying to reach Depressed Anonymous by phone, email and writing a letter. Since I couldn’t go to a meeting I started praying about starting one in my area close to me.  I got a response from a DA member  within a week and he sent me books and literature  on how to start a group.  Actually the info is In the Depressed Anonymous Manual.

I started to talk to some friends who are depressed and they said that they were interested and would do anything to help.

One person, Mike, found a meeting room for us. Another person, Bob, he did all of our flyers and meeting information. He even laminated the materials. What a great contribution form both of them. Our first meeting was held in the April of 2015. Turn out was  approximately 28 persons. What a great beginning.

We now meet every Tuesday eve in Glenolden, PA.  Glenolden is approximately 15 miles south of Philadelphia.

All through this process I kept  praying for our Higher Power to guide and protect us. Also prayed for the knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out. I felt the presence of my Higher  Power every step of the way..

What an incredible    experience. We hope to start other groups meetings in the surrounding areas.

Signed,

Cathy B., of the  DA Fellowship in Glenolden, PA.

RAY’S TESTIMONY ABOUT THE POWER OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS

” What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?  Well,  first let me say that when I started attending Depressed Anonymous meetings, I went for a couple of months and then stopped.  I stopped going because my depression was so bad that I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except to crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six weeks of isolation, I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the Depressed Anonymous  group where I attend answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason, it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next Depressed Anonymous meeting. After the meeting was over, I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.”

SOURCE:Ray, in his personal testimony on pages 133-134 in  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.