Category Archives: Supportive Actions

Having a secure base in life.

May 10, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

After ten years of repeated meeting with the depressed of Depressed Anonymous meetings, it’s clear that the meetings create a secure base for those who in their childhood had neither kindness nor the life-giving warmth and affection of a loving family.

People who keep coming back to Depressed Anonymous continue to grow and become aware of the inner change taking place week after week.They find not only attention to their story, but find that they are loved and cared for at the same time. Possibly for the first time they find that they look forward to each weekly meeting and become attached to the positive feelings that emerge inside themselves they continue to share the story of their pain. In time, they share how their week is suddenly being filled with more good days than bad. It also becomes obvious to the participants that childhood behavior and experiences are carried right on into adult life. Trusting is such a hazard for the depressed because every person is different. You can’t trust your environment because it could suddenly shift and you would be without a certainty that you were bad and worthless.

The meetings gradually present to you an opportunity to be someone worthwhile and valued. Your starting and risking information about yourself begins the construction of a new and secure you. The Depressed Anonymous group becomes for possibly the first time in your life, a very secure and stable environment where you can share, trust and grow.”

–Anonymous

Fellowship, Spirituality

The prescription for sanity in one’s life.

May 8, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

This idea of choosing sanity is what we desire. Who would ever choose insanity? But, believe it or not, people choose insanity all the time. You remember the saying, “doing the same thing over and over again is insanity.” If you are honest with yourself, I think you might remember a time when you yourself kept doing something that was assuredly insane. Today, if you can honestly say that you always choose sanity, then my response to you is that is a good thing. I am happy for you.

In our 12 Step program of recovery we learn about the 2nd Step, “Came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.” Now for most of us, like it says in the 12 &12 and 12 Traditions, written by Bill W., co-founder of AA, sanity “means soundness of mind.” Now here is the point, when I was in the throes of depression, I was scared and I really did think that I was losing my mind. I could not concentrate. My feelings and emotions were flowing through me like a river overflowing its banks. My thoughts always circled back on themselves, making a tight grip-like on every thought that flowed from my mind. I was in a circular round dance – without a partner. I would try to think my way out of my depression. What was happening to me I thought? The more I thought, the more I got tangled up in my own mental fog. After the mental wrestling which went on in my mind, hour after hour and day after day, I begin to wonder if there was any way out of this labyrinth. The paths led to places which indicated that there was no exit. I began to believe there was no way out and so my daily recourse/solution was to sleep. Sleep was the only thing that would deaden the assault on my mind.

Many times my own mind goes back to the time when as a therapist I tried to help others break down their life choices into small pieces. When I was depressed, all I could think of was a wall, a huge wall that would show up, every time I wanted to go and try to figure out a solution for my problem. And it was here that I would continue the insane banging my head against a wall that would not let me gain entrance. But when I began to break the symptoms of my depression into smaller parts and take a closer look at where the solutions might lie. I discovered a way out of my own prison by this method and it gradually provided hope for me. I discovered that what I needed to do was to utilize some of these ” tools ” as a way out of the prison of depression and gave me a gradual exit out of my prison. Instead of going over and over in my mind on how bad or worthless I was, I began to cut off these self-bashing thoughts with hopeful designs on making a new me. No more was I engaged in that insane circular thinking that provided no solutions, but instead, always sent me right back to square one from where I started. Insanity! It was like a dog chasing its tail. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Sorry, it doesn’t happen that way when we are with a group of people at a Depressed Anonymous meeting. We all have experienced the type of thinking that puts us deeper in the lowest mood possible. It is the group experience and the spiritual principles of the Steps that help us to spiral upwards into wholeness and sanity.

One of the great lessons that I have learned over the years is listening to those persons who share their stories of hope. They tell the stories of their own recovery sharing with us how they used all the “tools” at their disposal for their own recovery

.(See Tools of Recovery at our website Menu where you will find a list of many of the effective tools for extricating oneself from depression. You will be able to use ” sane” tools as a means of rejecting the insanity of our own lives and making sense out of how to live a life without depression. A life with hope. It happens.)

Also read the many stories in our Depressed Anonymous “Big Book” Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY). Personal testimonies section.

More information at the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore.

Order are accepted online.

12 Step Meeting, Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship

I’m on a personal journey of transformation! Today!

April 30, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I can do almost anything to feel better and more alive. All I need to do is believe that I can do it. I want to believe.

“Through the Twelve Step program of recovery, I have been on a journey of transformation from the familiar life of drudgery, gloom and desperation, to discovering a new freedom and a new happiness – something I didn’t know existed.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

This is the real world, the 12 Step program for healing and gradual abstinence from hiding the pressure that builds from inside and pushes me to want to withdraw and isolate myself. I am more sure today than I was yesterday. The more I work my 12 Step program I feel better. I also believe that the more I begin to take charge of areas of my life, like exercising, getting a hobby, and moving about, the speedier will be my recovery.

From childhood, I had a scarce amount of love and nurturing. I know that I can find the freedom to live and feel differently than I did in the past. Today presents me with a clean slate –a new beginning, if you will. Granted my yesterdays are always there, but my today is what really counts. This is the exciting part of living with hope. Life is a challenge and I need to forgive myself for all my yesterdays and live right now as if it is the first day of my life.

MEDITATION

God, make peace and serenity the by-word of our lives and efforts this day. We know that you are here – closer to us than the light in our eyes. We again trust you so that we can live this unpredictable life with hope and trust in you. (Personal comments).

(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days:365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for all members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Acceptance, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power

I am part of something bigger than myself.

April 26, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

By being in a recovery group I am able to beat loneliness.

In the group, I established myself and I got some positive feedback from others who watched me grow and who have seen the genuine change I have made personally. I am gradually throwing off my personal war with sadness. The real support comes when I begin to learn that members of the group have the same problems that I have. This helps me trust others with the story of my life. These people are the ones who want to hear my story of how depression almost cost me my life. Now, my life is freeing me from my need to sad myself.

I feel more able to attach myself to the group now that I know that they are struggling with the same depression that I struggle with. I no longer have to fight this battle on my own.

MEDITATION

God you are our rock and our refuge, on you I place all my trust. We know and believe easier now than before, that God has something good in store for us today.”

Source:

(C) Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 69. April 26.

Fellowship, Mindfulness, Purpose, The 12 Steps

Motivation Follows Action!

April 20, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Why do I continue the work of bringing hope to those still suffering? What motivates me to continue to try and help others? What has made the change in my life where now I want to share what I know and what I feel. Basically, I know that the program of recovery works. I no longer feel powerless over my depression. In DA group meetings members speak my language. We see how useless it is to waste time looking back over our shoulder to see if the dark shadow of my own inner fears is going to overtake me. I now have attained small amounts of hope and strength as I go from day to day. I am prepared for those moments of despair that at times overtake me and cause me to feel paralyzed and out of control.

In the first step “we admitted we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.” It is a paradox that it is in the admission of our lives being out of control that we began to take control of our lives.”

It was an interesting fact that in the very beginning of my recovery that I received a very important message… that if I was to get well I had to motivate myself to do something. I had to get in motion. That sounds simple enough doesn’t it? I must stop the isolating of myself and get to work on ways that would gradually lead myself out of despair and hopelessness, and deadly inactivity.

The first thing that I began to do each and everyday was to start walking. I just knew that the inner war that was waged with every step that I took was the message that “walking would not do me any good” would almost completely scuttle my best intentions to complete my walks. The odd thing about it was that, almost without fail, if I could just continue on and walk at least for 15 minutes and ignore the messages “that I was too tired to walk this morning” my body began to get into a rhythm. I would feel content to finish my walks. And ironically, there is not a day that goes by, when I start my walk that I don’t feel the lethergy and resistance to continue my walking. Then as always, after about 10-15 minutes into my walking, I feel a rush, an energy spurt, to continue walking. Other walkers have told me that they have the same experience. It must have something to do with the human body, with all its members working together and harmonically working in sync with each other.

I just add the above note to let others know that your body will repel the healthy attempt to move out of its isolation. It’s the force of one’s motivation powered by action that will in time help us all do one of the more beneficial exercises that our body can undertake, namely to walk.

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Fellowship

Staying on the balance beam.

April 18, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

One of the more difficult exercises in gymnastic sports is the balance beam. Now, that is only my opinion. And when the gymnast performs a somersault on this narrow beam and manages to keep their balance, this is really a feat to behold.

When I was depressed I felt like the gymnast who missed their somersault and came tumbling off the beam. And it hurt–big time. In fact, it hurt for many months later. For some depressed, the hurt lasts a lifetime.

The point I want to make is that we have to make choices. We want to make a decision that can make us feel differently and better — not worse. We want to get back on the beam, make a decision to change how we do things. We will correct what got us where we are now and go forward with new strategies for living a life with hope and faith in a power greater than ourselves. Our new habits of thinking and feeling positive will definitely change our behaviors. We can continue to be on the beam.

“One makes a choice when making a decision. One of the hard things in a depressed person’s life is making a decision. The indecision is what really gets to a person continually to remain off balance. Usually this indecision is the result of an emotinmal war going on inside, and both sides war over who will have their way. The more depressed we become, the less able are we able to muster up the necessary energy to make a decision that will benefit us. I believe that this moral type of inventory is not going to be detrimental to our recovery because it is all about our recvovery. We are not intending for it to make us feel ashamed, but to help us see that if we want to feel better, then we have to start to make some changes, which are gradual at first. Changing old habits and ways of thinking will with time and work make our personal world a better place to live. Just as the Third Step states that we made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God, we can believe that our recovery is about decision and choices. We have to decide a hundred times daily that we are going to turn our wills over to care of the God of our understanding. In time we will feel secure enough to put our depression behind us. In other words, our depression will no longer serve a purpose in our life.”

Prayer

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY…

April 17, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Every 12 Step program of Recovery begin their meetings with this powerful prayer. Most of us say it a couple times a day.

Think about printing the prayer out and experience the power that comes from its guidance, each and every day!

Addiction, Fellowship, Serenity, Step 02, The 12 Steps

I Was On The Verge Of Sanity!

April 14, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Yes, on the verge of sanity is the way I look at it. My life up to a certain point was not really insane –it just felt like it. You might recognize the feeling. You keep doing the same insane things over and over again and expecting different results. How is it that you and I are so good at this, that is, allowing our mind to chase us around in circles never finding a way out .

If you have been in a 12 step program for any length of time, you can see some of what I mean. Just by reading and looking closely at each of the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps you gradually become conscious of the dysfunctional way that you are living out your life.

The insanity begins to show itself for what it is –it is as it were exposed by the voices of the other members of the group. These men and women who have by now are discovering the core issues of their own insane ways of thinking and behaviors. As it states so pointedly in Step Two of the recovery program that we “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

The members of the Depressed Anonymous group meetings have gradually painted a portrait of what insanity looks like. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. It’s when a member of the group, in detail fashion, shares with us how growing up he was told over and over again how “He would never amount to anything.” And guess what? He believed it! This prediction was fulfilled for everything that he put his hand to in life.

How about this one handed out to me by my teacher when I was in the third grade, namely “you will never be smart like your brother or your uncle ( a bible expert).”

She was right. I began to live with the shame of being inferior, the prediction of this authority figure gradually working its way into my subconscious from that moment on. I still remember feeling the flesh of my face turning red hot just thinking about that moment so many years back. Sharing this with the group and a therapist finally removed the scourge that it became in my life. I must have unconsciously worked against this false belief because later I earned a Master’s Degree and later a Doctoral degree.

Julia calls Depressed Anonymous a miracle. So far, she tells us that

“so far the most grabbing element of Depressed Anonymous has been the parts of the book where the author refers to the depressed person as a saddict, that is, a person attached or addicted even to sad and hopeless thoughts. Boy, did I ever see myself in these sections. Since then, I have learned to control my thought process. Now, very seldom do sad thoughts creep in. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the first time I saw the description of a saddict, a light went on in my head. The actual miracle took place at that moment. And the beauty of the whole thing is that thinking positive thoughts becomes easier and easier, automatic, then ecstatic at times.

But it is not all that easy. I followed the Steps also. I work at them often. For just as sure as your mind is on the automatic positive gear, it can easily slip back to negativism without the proper maintenance , which includes weekly( not just regular) attendance at meetings, and the knowledge and practice of the Twelve Steps as well as for those that need it, medication plus therapy as recommended by your doctor. ” (C) Julia, Depressed Anonymous Personal Stories

Good luck! And if just one other person reaches the point where I am,then there is a hope that life can be different for you as well.”

Note: When I became aware of how to live on the verge of sanity and then start living a live of serenity I began sharing with others about the miracle of Depressed Anonymous. Now that I am feeling sane I just hope that you put this plan. that works, into your daily life.

Submitted by Julia, a member of Depressed Anonymous, writing her Personal Story in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY Page 122.

For more stories please click onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at our website www. depressedanon.com. You can order online.

Fellowship, Journaling, Love

The impatient patient

April 13, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

It was not too long ago when I was an impatient patient. Have you ever been an impatient patient? If you have ever been admitted to the hospital for any length of time, as was I, then you know a little of what I am talking about. This was a few years back when I underwent open heart surgery. It was quite an experience to say the least. I got excellent care. The staff said I was a very good patient. Not much I could do to be an annoying patient. I had wires, tubes, and everything else hooked up to my anatomy. I felt that I must have looked like one of those huge electrical grids that we see alongside the road, all with a large chain link fence circling them.

Because my numbers weren’t right (blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen level, etc.) the doctor told me that I would have to remain in the hospital another day. I had already spent three weeks, watching an outside world, all beginning to look like ne big beautiful garden. Everything was coming alive. I was coming alive too, but not fast enough. I did thank God that I was even alive: thanks to a great team of doctors and staff.

But gradually and with a new intensity, I had this strong desire to to free myself from whatever kept me from getting free. I know what it was: it was the numbers. Always the numbers. So, the day came, finally, and the doctor tells me that if the numbers were right I could go home. Home! That word spoken by the one who had the power to free me. Yes, I could go home– tomorrow! (That was like the big sign behind the bartender which read in big red letters “Free Beer tomorrow!” Tomorrow comes and yes, Free beer tomorrow!). I knew from past experience, that that “tomorrow” always came with a conditional “maybe” tomorrow.

That was it. . . I was suffering from what I felt was a terminal case of “cabin fever.” “Cabin fever” can only be cured by getting out of the cabin. We all know that. So, I asked the doctor how I could go home today (the day was Friday) as there was no use staying the weekend waiting for my numbers to come down. The doctor told me, because I had to have a certain medicine over the next 48 hours to keep my numbers at the right place, I must give myself some prescribed shots , and then come back the following Monday for a check on my numbers. Other than that, I was good to be released.

The nurse came in and with a few practice shots– on an orange no less, and then I was good to go! Halleluja! By this time, most of my tubes and wires had gradually been removed, one after another. Another patient told me that this was a good sign when they started removing wires from one’s torso. My mind went to another possible reason, but I won’t go there now.

Home. And all it took was just to give myself two shots a day. No problem. My numbers finally returned to where numbers need to be for a good recovery and so it all worked out. Thanks to the medical team, first of all, that gave me my life back!

Fast forward to today, as I look back over life before my experience with depression. The sadness, the lethargy, my whole body seemed to want to go into hibernation. Sleep. And more sleep. And when I could hardly get myself out of bed in the morning. reality hit me in the face. I had something that I didn’t have a name for. I was immobilized. So, I started walking. Walking. Walking. I knew that I was continually feeling very sad. Sometimes like weeping.

My life before was a life of “hurry” for this and a “hurry ” for that. I couldn’t stuff enough of life into my daily schedule. And then my discovery that I had clogged arteries and need open heart surgery as soon as could be scheduled. But what about my planned vacation, my clients, my books I was working on ? I couldn’t just sit by and let things slide.

OK. I said. Obviously I was in denial. We are talking about saving my life here and I was worrying about nothing really. That was before my numbers helped me face the truth about myself. The talk with the heart surgeon definitely grabbed my attention. I got it! I needed open heart surgery! No denial now.

I got it that my life, the “hurry” and the “impatience” that had produced the stress, a diet filled with all sorts of food that was bad for me as well as a life without exercise. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t slow down. I was always in a rush–a hurry to get to the next important thing, a meeting or whatever pushed me into serious health problems.

Today is different. Once back in recovery, both from a physical standpoint as well as from a mental health standpoint, I have learned how to relax, how to spend time alone with my God as well as to set small goals which are attainable and healthy for each new day. My prayer time and my meditating on the spiritual principles of the 12 steps, plus taking time out for my Depressed Anonymous meetings on a regular basis. I also have a regular sponsor who helps me over the times when I am in a “hurry” and shoving too much activity into a life filled with activity. I have the tools to slow down and live. These are a musty now in my daily life!

My new self with an awareness of staying out of the “hurry” has helped my being patient with whatever negative situations life throws at me. I think before I act. I think before I make decisions and do not rush into anything without first “looking both ways” (as I learned in Kindergarten) many years ago.

And BTW my numbers are great: 120-130 over 80. Heart rate 70’s.

Check out the TOOLS for Recovery here at this website www. depressedanon.com

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY

Fellowship

A way out of depression. Where to start?

April 6, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

I can be that person who is going to have hope and serenity now that I can hear how the program works for them.

“Now that I look back and see the way I was and see how I am now, I can’t believe that I ever knew the other person. This person is different altogether. I like this person now very much.” Helen

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

When I am depressed, I think that I can’t do any good. Now I listen to people like Helen and I can see that her being an active member of the Fellowship of Depressed Anonymous has freed her to be a different person. She didn’t find herself through any esoteric means. Slowly she found her way out of her saddening herself through a belief in her God, a belief in the group, and by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit we have a problem, we know we can get some help. We then ask God and God shows us the way out. With God all things are possible. Helen is living proof that a person’s feeling alone and desperate won’t last once they see that it’s pretty much up to themselves to begin the move to want to change.

One of the beliefs that I seem to consider absolute is that I will never be able to change my life and the way I feel. I know now that I can feel differently, that with time and work, this will be a real possibility.

NOTE We can read Helen’s riveting story, how her own 12 Step program of recovery brought sanity and hope into her personal life. Please see the Depressed Anonymous personal stories section of the book and read her personal story of faith and hope plus many others.

MEDITATION

God, continue to help people like Helen carry the message to others so that there might be a hope for those who fear there is no hope for them. Let us understand that from our daily thoughts in this book that we can receive the courage to see that we will get better.

SOURCES: (C) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. (1999, 2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 70.

Hope is just a few steps away!