Why shouldn’t our relationships with other people improve?  After we have begun to put into place our daily program of recovery, through prayer and meditation we now are expectant and hopeful. We reflect upon each step, and we complete a piece of the structure that in time will be the new me. I think that one of the more critical areas to mend in our lives is the thinking part of ourselves. So, from the start we need to promote to those persons depressed to get involved in as much physical activity as possible, for example, walk, express personal feelings to others, go to meetings, talk with each other on the phone with supportive people. In other words, get connected as much as possible. Most importantly we discover at our group meetings that there are many persons, much like ourselves and at the same level of recovery. We know we are not alone.

”’Once the newcomers hear the before and after of our lives it will make it easier for them to believe us when they experience our own enthusiasm and cheerfulness. ”

SOURCES:  Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  KY.

Copyright (c)   I’ll do  it when I feel better. (2017)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisvile. KY .

In  our mutual aid group, Depressed Anonymous, we soon learn that to get well we have to begin to  believe that we are not passive victims of depression which  comes out of the blue and bites us.  We are not talking about a cold  and/or the  flu. We learn that we have to be responsible for our own health and healing.  We have to learn that motivation follows action. I will not blame myself for being depressed but I do have to take responsibility for my own health now that I know what I have. We are responsible for the depression because it has made  its home in us and has crippled us for months, and yes, for years.

We can learn how to go from being a patient to be in charge of our own feelings and health. It could be well to take a look at our childhood and early life relationships; especially infancy and early childhood relationships. Even more importantly  it’s important to look at how secure was our early growing up environment. Were we loved? Were we cherished by our parents. Was there drinking in the home? Was there abuse? Were we ignored? If you had parents who said you were worthless, unsuitable and told that you were  no good, then  this has without an ounce of doubt, influenced you in deep and deleterious ways today.

Also, we know that one major manifestation of depression is what we call Obsessive Compulsive behavior – namely, that ritual attempt to reduce stress by repetitive rituals such as hand washing, checking doors to make sure they have been locked and stove burners, to make sure that they have been turned off. All of this is a person’s ritualistic attempt at reducing  stress. Allied with this disability is perfectionism where a person who is obsessive-compulsive also has a hyper moral sensitivity.”

Finally, one might add that our mind  follows a familiar track, circling around and around in our head attempting to figure out how we ever got depressed in the first place. This type of circular thinking usually   brings us back to the same starting point. We are no further out of the woods than when we started. The side effect of this  rumination is that we are mentally  and physically exhausted. Fatigue is one of our biggest problems when we are depressed.

A bigger solution is to follow and use the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous and become proactive in your own recovery.

(c) Depressed Once-But not Twice!  Hugh Smith (2000).Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Hope can exist only in a state of uncertainty.
That certainty means total certainty That security means to be without hope.
The prison of depression is built with the bricks of total certainty.
Certainty. Security. No hope.
To hope means to run the risk of disappointment.
Avoid disappointment. Stay depressed.
To be insecure means to not be in control.
Stay in control. Be depressed.
To be uncertain means to be unsure of the future.
Predict the future with certainty. Stay depressed.
Hope can only exist where there is uncertainty. Absolute certainty means complete hopelessness. If we want to live fully we must have freedom, hope and love. So life must be an uncertain business. That is what makes it worthwhile.

Source: Depression: The way out of your depression. D. Rowe. 1996. (2nd Ed.)

Hope is to seek things and have the expectation that what we desire will come true. In the matter of depression, Dr. Rowe warns us that when we predict that we will ways be the way we are is to predict a life of uncertainty but one that is without hope. In the reality of the way we construct our world we begin to live with some uncertainty and with the uncertainty we are going to little bit by little bit accept some pain, hurt and disappointment in our lives. This is not bad but it is not always pleasant. When we are depressed it is not so important always as to how we got to be depressed but what is important, is how we see our depression. Do we believe, like Dorothy Rowe, that we will always see ourselves as bad, worthless, unacceptable to ourselves and to others, when we are depressed. If this is the way that we want to look at ourselves then we are sure to believe that we will never change. We hold these beliefs about ourselves as immutable truths –absolute and ever binding. This is the thing about depression – we believe that it will always be this way–namely being possessed by this hollow feeling and deadly emptiness which we carry around in our bodies, day after day, year after years.

Our identity as persons depressed is to believe that we are always going to be the way we are now and be depressed forever. We know that it won’t always have to be this way. Our identity is that of a free agent who has the option to choose misery for the rest of their lives or to choose hope and so live with some uncertainty that may bring us to a life filled with hope. The more we allow the feelings of pain and the unpleasantness of our feelings to surface the more we will live in uncertainty and hope. To live with uncertainty is to live with some hope that our tomorrow will be different than our today. We hope for things not yet seen. We hope for things to be different. This is the identity of a person who is working the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous. This person is the one who withholds judgment about whether this first Anonymous meeting is going to do any good for them. This is where they learn how to cope. They hear other members of the group tell them that they have to keep coming back to the meetings if they are to get help and find release from their feelings of despair.”

Source: How to hope and let it blossom. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (1999). Louisville. Ky.

For more helpful literature on depression and 12 Step spirituality please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Online purchases are possible.

The only person I can control is myself. I will keep the focus of my recovery on myself.

AFFIRMATION

“Admitting our helplessness, we can abandon our desperate attempts to control everybody and everything and simply ‘go with the flow,’ taking life as it comes. Many people emerging from depression or from a major trauma, do this when they  decide to take one day at a time.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am more convinced than ever that one of the best ways to get out of my depression is to live one day at a time. and to spend that day thinking thoughts that reflect hope rather than thoughts that spiral us deeper into sadness and despair.  I am much more in need of admitting that I am depressed instead of denying to myself and to others that everything is all right when it isn’t.

My recovery is a step-by-step process and I try to live one day at a time. My best recovery occurs when I am conscious how my depressed thinking distorts the way I look at the way I live out my life and I have to make the effort to think differently.

MEDITATION

We thank God for our lives and the opportunity that we have to come into conscious contact with this Higher Power who is now providing us with his love and his hope.

Source: (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY.  October 30.