All posts by Hugh Smith

Depressed Anonymous

Lack of power, that was our dilemma!

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In our “Big Book” Depressed Anonymous, we learned that not having the power to escape from depression was our main problem.

What gives many of us the power to overcome depression is to have some new purpose or find new meaning for our lives. In my own life I found that the best way to keep those low moods and depressive symptoms at arm’s length is to write. One day I stumbled across this great solution for my own wellness and rehabilitation – among many. Most times in the past when I felt discouraged and in a funk mood, I would seek out my pillow and rest. Too many times my escape from the mental and physical fatigue would be to hit the sack.

I gave up that moment which in time became my power to get on with that moment which gave meaning to me like no other.

Choice, Negativity, Positivity

Thinking causes feelings, feelings cause moods and moods cause behavior

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This sounds right for me. When my thinking is negative and my mind cycles around and around, these negative thoughts can create sad feelings which are negative. If I feel sad enough and for prolonged periods of time my sad feelings will create moods which can last for a short time or deepen into moods which gradually darken our thinking to the extent that hopelessness begins to rule our emotions-our lives. Once our moods deepen, we begin to find ourselves prisoners, not of any iron bars and locked cells, but the change in our thinking, now negative and hopeless , not only will change our behaviors so that any physical, mental or spiritual activities will come to a halt All those activities that were once such a large part of our lives, providing pleasure for us, gradually have all disappeared. From this time on, our thinking, our feelings, frozen with fear and anxiety are stuck in a place which is unable to provide any possible solutions providing a predictable escape.

12 Step Meeting

Is This All There Is?

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How many times have I heard clients share with me how the dreams of their youth have disappeared like the early morning mist. Now that they are part of the swelling “baby boomer” generation, life has become their unexpected challenge. But not only the “baby boomers” but others in society, much younger who feel disconnected and alone in the American society. With “social media” as the assumed connection bringing folks together, the face to face relationships have withered. to that end that loneliness is the new normal, and not the exception. Because there are no “super heroes ” in our daily lives, we have to create these bogus creatures who are neither real flesh and blood “super heroes.” These figments of our cultural imaginations captivate our minds so that we continue to look for someone to save us so that we can live out our lives, forever happy.

Some tell us that this is the “age of melancholy” where society lives with unrealized dreams and plans. Not everyone is reaching the promised top of the mountain filled with milk and honey. An alarm has been sounded. Suicides increasing. Children bullied who feel they are without hope and help. Their feelings of hopelessness, their isolating sadness, keeps them from searching out someone, somewhere to help them.

Children bullied must have advocates. But who and where are these advocates for these children? I believe that all of us are aware now how critical it is to get the word out and that parents and all others need to know the signs of a child or adult who is thinking of suicide. And if your child tells you he/she is being bullied – drop everything – and tell someone! This can be that moment that will change everything for your child or loved one.

With these horrific situations facing us, we can build a bridge, sometimes by ourselves initially, but gradually others can join with us and be part of these small communities finding purpose and meaning for their own lives. We can invite others to join us in our pursuit of healing and hope.

Anger

Depression And Anger

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Many times in our lives we can hide our own anger from ourselves. Here is a checklist to help you determine if you are hiding anger from yourself. Any of these may be a sign of anger or some other possible physical causes. If you are concerned about any of these listed it would do you well to speak to a professional.

The list is an attempt to see if any of these issues might be related to your own depression and anger. Also, the list gives you notice on ways to deal with those which you might be dealing with off and on.

  1. Procrastination in delayed working on important matters
  2. Perpetual or habitual lateness
  3. Overly polite
  4. Constant cheerfulness
  5. Attitude of “grin and bear it”
  6. Frequent sighing
  7. Sarcasm, cynicism or flippancy in conversation
  8. Smiling while hurting, always saying “I’m fine”
  9. Frequent or disturbing dreams
  10. Over controlled monotone speaking voice
  11. Difficulty in getting to sleep or sleeping through the night
  12. Boredom
  13. Slowing down of movements
  14. Getting tired more easily than usual
  15. Excessive irritability over trifles
  16. Getting drowsy at inappropriate times
  17. Sleeping more than usual
  18. Waking up tired rather than rested or refreshed
  19. Clenched jaw, usually while sleeping
  20. Habitual fist clenching
  21. Grinding of teeth, especially while sleeping
  22. Chronically stiff neck or shoulder muscles
  23. Anxiety and depression
  24. Swallowing your anger and keeping it pent-up inside
  25. Stomach ulcers/gastrointestinal problems.
  26. Flying off the handle.
Belief

Now That I Look Back

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Now that I look back and see the way I was and see how I am now, I can’t believe that I ever knew that other person. This person is different altogether. I like this person now very much. I am so thankful to the group. They are just wonderful. They are my family. They are my Depressed Anonymous family. I also have my church family. It is a wonderful,l feeling to know that there is a Higher Power that can help you through these things. At first, I thought, “I doubt that very much” when everyone was talking about the Higher Power and peace in my life. Then it happened to me. Every few days, the world dumps down on you and beats you down. That’s just life. I always think to myself that there is that extra strength that I didn’t have before. I feel that everything is going to be OK with me. I have that peace now myself.

An excerpt from Bill’s story in PERSONAL STORIES from Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Page 147.

Spiritual Heroes

I think I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree

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“Trees” by the poet Joyce Kilmer has always been a favorite of mine over the years. At one time I could recite the poem by heart. It ranked near the top of my favorite poem list, only to be topped by Psalm 23, the Bible’s Good Shepherd Psalm.

I always thought that Joyce Kilmer was a woman – wrong – he is a man. Now that was sort of a surprise. Anyway, being a country boy from rural Indiana, trees were part of our lives, and much of our hunting experiences. Squirrels lived in trees. We hunted squirrels. Trees were all sizes and all kinds. Lots of trees. My Grandpa, could name any and all trees that were part of the Southern Indiana forests. Trees were so much of his life as a child and young man. We learned how to tell the kind of a tree just by looking at it’s bark. Yes, beautiful trees.

Now, during this pandemic I knew I could not sit self-quarantined at home 24/7 (not until middle of March did I begin to realize this might go on for a spell. I was right). I decided to write a book. I did write a book and it has kept me busy all these months. I hardly go anywhere, maybe for some groceries or walk around a neighboring park. I have been visiting with friends on one of our 12 Step ZOOM and SKYPE meetings. I kept in contact that way. So, now I am about ready to finish up the book and get it ready for publication. So I didn’t waste my time. I have something to show for it.
But my latest effort has been to take up the pencil and learn how to draw trees. Thank you Joyce Kilmer. Not just stick type trees. Trees that are beautiful and have leafy branches and the limbs are well shaded and all so perfect. My wife bought me some great Walmart $1.98 special colored pencils. I was excited. That is, until I tested out my innate, so I thought, ability to draw. Well, it hasn’t turned out so good. My trees just don’t come alive like the ones shown on the Computer screen.

I’ve learnt a lesson here. Try new things, and if you feel you are not successful – give it up! But seriously, I intend to get back to the trees some other time. I think I will use my camera and take pictures of trees. At least what I end up with are pictures that look like trees. Not stick trees.

One final thought. I at least proved one thing to myself. I don’t have to always be perfect and succeed at everything. Life is like that. We at least know that God has given me another day – another 24 hours – to give thanks for. I don’t have to be a great poet, writer, or artist. But I can be a man of gratitude for all of God’s blessings. In my book, trees point my thoughts heavenward to God who made all creation and is an expression of his love for you and me.

My favorite tree is an Autumn Blaze Maple. What is your favorite tree?

Hugh Smith © 2020

Purpose

Making decisions

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Doubt invariably rears it’s ugly head when suddenly we realize that we are lost. This has happened to me when I was driving across a mile long bridge and I needed to turn around and go back. But there is no place to turn around. What can I do? All I can do is to keep driving. I have to accept the consequences. I knew the first five minutes on the bridge that something didn’t feel right. I realized that this large metropolis, with a myriad of its bridges, that I had chosen the wrong bridge.

I believe that making the wrong decisions in our lives is part of why we end up in the wrong place. We are lost. We tell ourselves that we “shoulda” or “woulda” or “coulda” done it differently.

Or for the alcoholic, berating himself for taking that one drink too many. Or the addict shooting up–just one more time. And one more time. And one more time. But if you are fortunate like me, I didn’t spin the wheel one more time and hope that I might get the rush and win the prize. Not this time.

If this is where you are in life right now–on the bridge, and realize that you are lost, please take a good look at why you feel lost. And if you want to find your way, out of the darkness of depression, you’ve come to the right place.

Learn more about Depressed Anonymous, a 12 Step program of recovery, and if you are depressed, we can help you.

Hugh, for the fellowship

Fellowship, Mutual Aid

Depressed Anonymous is and has been my salvation

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

I attend Depressed Anonymous meetings quite regularly. I have found that I can attend the meetings regularly.(Depressed Anonymous Meetings are on SKYPE everyday) I get the support of the members who I have found to have about the same kind of problems as I have-maybe not as bad as mine. But I guess each of us feels that our problems are worse than anyone else. I know mine are. But with the regular meetings and my friends support, I find that I am able to manage pretty well from week to week. I have more faith in myself since I work the Twelve Steps the best that I can and trust the Higher Power (God Almighty) with all my heart. I pray to the fullest extent that I will continue to have faith in myself and others. I have become a more whole being than I have ever been. I work a lot. I volunteer a lot and have a far better outlook on life that I have ever had. I attribute all of these good things to Depressed Anonymous.

…I cannot begin to explain sufficiently the support the meetings can give one who is depressed. Depressed Anonymous has been and is my salvation. I know the Twelve Step program is the only way to go to get one on the right track and it takes the meetings to keep you there. They are a “Godsend” for me and I know for a lot of others who are depressed.

I thank Depressed Anonymous and my Higher Power for a life worth living.

– Frances

Copyright © Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. (Personal Stories, page 116)

All literature can be ordered online at The Depressed Anonymous Bookstore.
Click onto VISIT THE STORE at our website www.depressedanon.com

Fellowship

“There is Hope—and we Do recover.” DA “ZOOM” MEETING

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

There is hope…and we do recover!
This is the name of the ZOOM group now operating with three DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS ONLINE groups per week. What could be better than that.

I personally find the name of this mutual-aid 12 step group to be a “right on” description of what happens during it’s live online meetings. Those who come aboard soon learn that this is not only a safe place to share their “story” but is a place to discover others stories of how they are leaving the prison of their depression. And if you are one of those, like me who are looking to find hope and a plan to make it happen for your own life, you are in the right place.

Now in group meetings you won’t find people giving you a counterfeit hope, a hope that is not based on reality, but on their own personal experience. Those who are frequent group members of Depressed Anonymous, and who want to have a social contract with others on a personal basis, find that they have found a home with others like themselves. No strangers here. No counterfeit promises of sudden healing. You will be provided with a plan that has stood the test of time, for those who continue to be recipients of its power and enduring hope.

You will learn the strength of living life, not with grandiose sugar plum fairies dancing in your head, but with the hard work (yes, it takes work, time and prayer) of coming to meetings, reading the Depressed Anonymous literature, plus doing something. Yes, do something!

Start with the smallest thing, by clicking onto a DA meeting online or at Skype, and just listening in to the discussions of its members, new and old. No one has to talk. My own experience is this: those who come to their first meeting–yes, their first meeting will probably hear others share stories that are similar to their own.

Start small at first in things that need to be done for your own recovery. Move the body and the mind will follow. Get out of bed at a certain time every day. Water a plant that needs watering. Sweep the kitchen floor. Be creative. Commit to at least six meetings a week online. Skype is available everyday on line. Zoom is on three or four times a week.

And please, when that little voice inside your head says “I’ll do it when I feel better” ignore it and do what needs to be done now. Do it now. Not tomorrow. Yesterday is gone. All we have is NOW!

My vision is for all of us who were depressed or are depressed today, is to find the plan and the place where they can and do find hope and a great fellowship we call Depressed Anonymous.

Remember these powerful words – write them down. There is HOPE, and we Do Recover.
CONTACT: REBECCAIRENE8@GMAIL.COM

Hugh S

Mindfulness

What’s in your mind today?

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How about talking about character building today. Ok?

In our book, I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER, there are some short paragraphs, explaining how character is built in our own lives.

” And how does one build character but by learning the tenets of one’s own faith traditions or practices and trying to live them out in one’s own daily life. It is in the simple process of being willing, honest and open about the best paths to take in overcoming our negative life attachments that trust can be attained.

…Character can be built by truth and the willingness to list the truth in ourselves. It can be a painful search but it will reveal that it’s all right
to be imperfect and not have all the answers and not to be perfect. It’s all right to trust others with our deepest fears and hurts, and to know that we can still be loved and respected even though we share how bad and evil we considered ourselves over the years. It will be evident in time that one’s feelings of deep sadness did not come out of nowhere but indeed was the result of the way we were led to believe and think about ourselves.

I believe that I can honestly say that the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous
say it best when they point out the basis of trust in ourselves comes about when our purpose and mission in this life begins to be realized. We are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying upon God rather than our finite selves. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us do, and honestly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

Every member of every 12 Step fellowship is aware of the power of the following prayer, which in itself has been found to produce and promote the growth of trust in the lives of those who pray this prayer:

” God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

RESOURCES:
Copyright(c) I’ll D0 It When I Feel Better. 2nd ed. (2013) Hugh M. Smith Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. Pages 82-83.

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd ed.(2012) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 79, Eighth Step.

THE BOOKS LISTED IN TODAY’S RESOURCE CAN BE “ORDERED ONLINE FROM THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS BOOKSTORE” HERE AT WWW.DEPRESSEDANON.COM.

Depressed Anonymous is available in E Book format and can be downloaded.