All posts by Hugh Smith

Prayer

Recovery and decision making according to Bill W.

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“In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is  not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely on it.”

AA Pages 86-87.

12 Step Meeting

Welcome to the Depressed Anonymous groups in Warsaw, Poland

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We wish to welcome the Depressed Anonymous groups in Warsaw, Poland. They have been around a long time and now they want to start translating the Basic Text (3rd  edition)  and The  Workbook into Polish. Great news. Hopefully they will join us on SKYPE or ZOOM. We look forward to your presence here.  Our SKYPE meetings are becoming very international  and I know that they will get a warm  welcome here from all of us.  We all speak the same language here – hope and healing.

See you soon.

Hugh

DA Literature

Hope is contagious!

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Yes, hope is definitely contagious,

When I attend a Depressed Anonymous meeting I hear hope spoken. My own mood is elevated  listening  to how others are feeling better because of using the Twelve Steps of Recovery  for their   lives. Now,  because of  online  Depressed  Anonymous  groups on SKYPE and ZOOM,  the depressed have the opportunity to feel and find hope. And  once they move through the most painful experience of their lives,they come back and share  with the group how their life once was and how it is now.

Persons  find hope. They will find a fellowship that  speaks their language.

Yes, hope is definitely contagious.

In the very helpful book The Depths: The evolutionary origins of the depression epidemic, the author Jonathon Rottenberg shares with the reader how our deep moods can lead to  depression. He calls his study  a mood science.

“…The mood science perspective tells us that depression, deep or shallow, is a natural product of the mood system. However a person gets there, facing deep depression is a supremely difficult trial. Rather than assuming weakness or defectiveness . We should acknowledge that getting through depression requires considerable   strength .Rather than assuming permanent debility, we should recognize that some depressions are followed by thriving. Writing these words fourteen years after  my episode, I recognize that I am not broken. Getting beyond the disease model will require us to honor the strengths of formerly depressed and the ways that, once reborn , they can help others build enduring recovery from depression.

It is possible.”

Yes, hope is contagious!

(c) The Depths: The  Evolutionary Origins of the Depression Epidemic. Jonathon Rottenberg  (2014) Basic  Books, New York, NY. Pages 199-200.

Isolation

We are not alone–unless we choose to be alone

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WHO AM I? WHAT DO I WANT? WHO IS MY GOD?

Let’s say that we want to find out who we are. First of all, we find out that we are not alone here. We have already discovered that there are many who are exactly like us –depressed.  Those person who speak that they are feeling helpless and out of control because of the symptoms of depression, can  help  us feel more secure because they  hear this hopeful language spoken at all our Depressed Anonymous meetings.

STEP ONE

We are not in the blame game as we pointed out in the first chapter of our Depressed Anonymous manual, 3rd edition. We are here to throw some light on ourselves and not to focus on others. Now know that this has been a trap  which can spiral our moods downward —  moods that  produce  hopeless and helpless feelings . We are here to face the light and decide what we need to do to get better. This means that we  look at the Steps  which  we need to incorporate  into our lives in  order to get out of the prison of our depression. The first step , as you can see, is  admitting  that we are  helpless over our depression and that our lives had become unmanageable . Now that we admit  powerlessness , and in a certain paradoxical  sense,  we   gain a new power  beginning to lift us out  of the darkness.

We grant that our lives have been   affected by our original family environment, either in a positive or a negative way, or somewhere in between. We know that many times, physical  and sexual abuse, plus ongoing negative ruminations  can be the cause of   depression.  Deaths and traumatic life events can also be the cause of depression. Many people say that they have been depressed all their lives after being confronted with the symptoms of depression.

Blaming others, for our depression today, such as our parents, church, teachers, and others ,  can put us on two different paths. One will take us down one road and the other down another. We can take the road less traveled as Scot Peck  points out  in his popular book THE ROAD LESS TREAVELED.  One will take us down the road for more depression and the other will take us down the road of discovery–discovering  the tools for freeing ourselves from the shackles of depression.

I believe that  if we want to blame  everything outside of ourselves  for keeping us  from being happy, others, even God , we are missing the point. Remember, we are all the choices that we make. If you want the light then you must walk in it!

If you believe that you had nothing to do with your depression then the good implication is that you didn’t cause it. The bad implication is that  if you didn’t cause it then you could get it again, like the flu or a cold. But since depression isn’t a cold or a flu or a germ/bacterium we try taking responsibility for our depression and its symptoms. We move on from there.  The quickest answer is that it may lead me to take full responsibility however I can    to overcome depression –this may mean taking the medication to reduce the symptoms, seek talk therapy, or  be an active participant in a beloved  and accepting community, a mutual aid group  where they know us by name, love us and accept us.  No such statements as “snap out of it” are spoken here.

It is a fact that people who have a greater control over their lives and their environment are less depressed than those who have less or little control over their own lives.”

Courage, Fellowship, Isolation, Kindness, Mutual Aid, Purpose

I’m having cabin fever during this pandemic self-isolation. How are you doing?

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

Getting a daily rhythm during this time of self-isolation is getting to be a must for me. How about you? After a month of isolating myself this isolation getting old. And, it appears that it isn’t going to be over for a spell. We are all created as human beings to be close to others. We love the fellowship of groups. Ironically, this is what will kill us or make us very sick at the very least. Physical/social distancing is a must now.

I am getting my stride. Athletes talk about getting into their rhythm. I am much aware that I can’t fiddle my time away – getting myself depressed, or just staring out the window, watching TV , streaming on my computer or just sleeping through it.

So, I have developed a schedule. I make sure that I eat every day and at the same time. I use my 12 Step literature for prayer and reflection in the morning. I also do some writing on my online WordPress blog . Because I have gone through self-isolating when I was depressed – I definitely do not let it happen again. In my schedule I go to the park and exercise everyday and at the same time. I spend a part of the afternoon catching up with friends and members of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship. At these times I connect with member s of the large DA fellowship in Iran and other DA members outside US. (Everyone with whom I have contact are going through the same pandemic as we are.)

The Depressed Anonymous fellowship have an International daily DA SKYPE online meeting. I am able to contact and participate in this group in early afternoon. Then there is a new ZOOM online fellowship that has just been formed. You can find times and places at our Depressed Anonymous website. Or on Facebook. Please try and attend these meetings. Great resource for keeping in touch and helping to maintain our recovery – one day at a time. In the late afternoon I follow our Governor’s daily TV meeting(Kentucky) where he keeps us up to date on things that we have to do to keep each other safe and out of harms way. Then evening news and then other news sources. So by night time I am saturated with news – mostly sad news about how there is so much suffering and isolation among all of us who need each other so much.

I am especially grateful for our 12 step fellowship where we can see each other f2f and maintain our sanity and sobriety. Please check out our recent blogs at www.depressedanon.com or FB Depressed Anonymous. Today is the first day where we are offering our eBooks for $1.00 a piece. These are the 3rd edition of Depressed Anonymous and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both of these eBooks can be downloaded on the computer or printed out on your printer. These are the books which we use at our Online group meetings. If you want these books today, they are yours for downloading. We felt that now is the time to make these books available to as many people as possible. We wanted to make them available on line free – but somehow that was not possible. So we went for $1 buck apiece. I do hope others take advantage of this opportunity – especially most of us who might be hard pressed to come up with any money now when food and shelter is our most critical need. Depressed Anonymous Publications is a very small business operation and all our work is done by volunteers – including me.

My suggestion is to do the same thing everyday, have a schedule for each day and now that the children are home, and with the kids out of school, they will always need some help with their eLearning classes.

Do some fun things for yourself – I personally liked the old Three stooges, Jim Carey’s movies and older comedies keep me laughing. It sure helps lift my mood.

Plan to call at least one older person who is alone. Maybe a neighbor who needs food. My wife and I are now trying to make some strategic decisions in our food purchases and TP. Trying to make do with what we have, sharing what we have with others.

Call your sponsor everyday or a fellow member of our 12 Step fellowship group.

Finally, get into your own rhythm – take it one day at a time-make a schedule and as a family get together and decide how we all can decide how we want to spend our day.

Thank you and may all of us remain safe and secure. This too shall pass. We are all in this together. We are going to get through it. We are going to get through it together.

Love and peace to you all.

Hugh, for the fellowship

Fellowship

Depressed Anonymous ZOOM meetings

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

Dear Depressed Anonymous Fellowship,

The following is an email where you can gain information on gaining access to the ZOOM Depressed Anonymous Meetings which gather twice a week.

The admin advised me that persons wanting to join the meeting can contact her at this address to get the ID Code and the Password Code. We are doing this to protect the participants and the site from being hacked. We thank you for your understanding.

Contact: rebeccairene8@gmail.com

DA Literature

A Therapist’s view of Depressed Anonymous

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“The spiritual program of Depressed Anonymous is its greatest strength. People come together and hear from one another how their higher power is  healing and guiding  their lives. They realize that in being part of the group  they are not alone, and also encourage true healing.  Depressed Anonymous has been a wonderful healing tool in the lives of many depressed persons I’ve worked with. It will always be one of the greatest resources I use in my work. It is true that “it works if you work it.”

Denise List    M.Ed  Louisville, KY

Depressed Anonymous Workbook

My ship was sinking…and then I found a lifeboat. (Three excuses not to get Into the boat.)

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I remember this well. I knew that my ship (life) was sinking. I was feeling that I was going under. My feeling was physical and real. I was losing control. There was no hope. And at this time of personal despairing, when I was at my lowest point, a lifeboat showed up. I know this is a metaphor. In reality the boat was a solution that gave me hope. And to my surprise, others had also found this life boat. And as we shared stories with each other about our troubled lives and our feelings of hopelessness, something amazing happened. The solutions appeared. We each grabbed an oar and began rowing to shore.

So, you can stand there on the ship’s deck and feel it sinking or you can get into the lifeboat. We are talking about being compassionate to yourself, because everything else springs from that.

It is not selfish to love yourself.

If you can’t find compassion for yourself, you’ll never be truly generous for yourself, you’ll never find it for anyone else. You won’t know how. You will never be truly generous to anyone while depriving yourself.

The reason we don’t tell anyone they should do this, is that a person won’t do this until they are ready.

MOST PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO THIS.

All we are saying is that when you’re ready here’s the way you can do it. This is definitely not another stick to beat yourself with.

When you’ve suffered enough, you’ll remember that you know how to do it. It doesn’t really matter what you thought or have believed, felt or done before. This is a new day.

“But I I’ve always done it this way.” But I’ve always been this way.” Or “This is just the way I am.”

These are three of the world’s worst excuses. Don’t make excuses. Have a life!

 

SOURCE: (C) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

All DAP books can be ordered online.

12 Step Meeting, Mutual Aid

A red thread, a beautiful tapestry, patterns and God’s will.

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Some of us, in groups and individually, work the Steps according to the month. What this means is when April 1st (4th month) arrives, we start spending quality time studying our Step #4. This Step states that we “Made a fearless moral and searching inventory of ourselves.” For many of our members, myself included, we use our Depressed Anonymous Workbook in conjunction with our Depressed Anonymous book to discover the patterns of our lives that keep us from being our best selves. The patterns have formed habits and these habits can end up becoming addictions. Could it be that these patterns of our thinking, feeling and behavior keep us imprisoned in our depression? Is it now that we feel we are continually circling around in that morass of hopelessness and helplessness? Like any addiction, we feel there is no way out.

It is here I want to quote from Maria von Trappe (Maria of musical The Sound of Music) who shared this thought:

“It will be very interesting one day to follow the pattern of our life as it is spread out like a beautiful tapestry …. in looking back we can discover how a red thread goes through the pattern of our life: the will of God. ” Quoted in the Publication: Give us this day. Liturgical Press. Collegeville, MN. March 26,

As I examine my life, attempting to discover that red thread, I have found that there actually is a red thread moving through my life tapestry. The red thread is there for me and it is like looking into a rear view mirror showing me where I have been on this life journey. There are these life patterns consistently appearing during the good times and the tough times of our lives. Even a pattern in which I see life as difficult and the world a dangerous place. Many of these negative patterns and fearful thoughts may start in our childhood and gradually become even more pronounced as patterns. But that red thread continues its weaving through our life tapestry into our adult lives. For some the red thread moves forward along with a pattern of pessimism, while providing us at the same time with hope. And as I look over my own past life, I see that my negativity, always following me into most of my relationships. Now as I look at the whole life tapestry as part of my fourth step inventory, stretching as it does from birth to this day, I am able to see patterns which have formed over time, crippling and making feel less than. But even during the painful times I can still see that that red thread, the will of God, has always been there operating in my life, accompanying me on my life journey, invisible, but still there like the silent whisper of the wind, providing me with hope. Now I can see that the red thread hasn’t just formed, it has been there as for long as I can remember. My present belief in a power greater than my depression is gradually setting me free. Today. Everyday.

I know how some Depressed Anonymous groups work this Fourth Step Study on an ongoing basis. For example, there are International Depressed Anonymous Skype Group meetings who come together everyday of the week on the Internet. You can access these group meeting by going to https://join.skype.com and then signing in at 2019depanon@hotmail.com. The leader for the meeting that day will sign you up and you can join the group. Meetings start at 12:30 PM Eastern Standard PM time.

Look back on your life up to today and see if you can recognize how that red thread weaving through your own life, no matter how difficult, how despairing, it is the fact that God has always been there with us and we gradually come to believe that He will always be there with us. And as a member of Depressed Anonymous I want to share with others how that red thread never abandoned me or deserted me, no matter how bad things became. And so when you do your inventory you too will discern that it has always been God’s will that the hope he provides will free you.

Hugh