All posts by Hugh Smith

Lack of power, that was our dilemma

The following excerpts are quotations from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because our Depressed Anonymous fellowship was modeled on the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step spiritual principles for recovery, It is appropriate for us to utilize and put into practice in our daily lives what has been proven to work for those who are part of the 12 Step fellowship recovery programs. Depressed Anonymous is one of those programs.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma (yes-no?). We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But when and how were we to find this power? Well, that’s exactly what this book (A.A. .45) is about. It’s main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.

…deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstration of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much a fact as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the great reality deep within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. We can only clean the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourage you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you (AA.p. 55). Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Hm. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us.” (AAp.71).

Step 2 Instruction

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question: Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe that there is a Power greater than myself?” (yes-no?) As soon as a person can say that they do believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure them that they are on their way. It has been repeatedly proven among us this simple cornerstone that a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. (A.A 47)

If you answered yes, congratulations, you have taken step two and we emphatically assure you are now on your way! ”

SOURCE: http://w.w.w.big booksponsorship.org.


“At each Depressed Anonymous meeting we hear different members of the group tell how the Higher Power helped return them to a peace, a serenity that they had never experienced until they started coming to Depressed Anonymous and began working on themselves. Now they can spend time in prayer and meditation with the Higher Power guiding their lives through the times of darkness. In time they have found giving up their depression to the care of the Higher Power almost a pleasure. It is our belief that if we want to begin to live, we must surrender our addiction to depression. The more we are tempted to seek comfort and bash ourselves with thoughts of how bad we are, the more depressed we become. But on the positive side, the more we begin to take mastery over our thinking and our listless behavior, the smaller, gradual gains we will make in seeing some light at the end of the tunnel by living just for today, that is, one day at a time, and not in the hurts and the anger of yesterday or the fear and anxiety of tomorrow, we will begin to see a spark of light coming over the horizon” (D.A.p.41).

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY

There is no “cheap grace” in getting free of our compulsions and addictions

“With any addiction to an experience,  be it alcohol, eating, gambling, smoking, and for us depression, we all know there is no “cheap grace” in getting free of our depression.   Jim discovered, being a newcomer to Depressed Anonymous,  that in time and with frequent attendance at Depressed Anonymous meetings,  the price of freedom from the uneasiness and hollow feelings he felt, was everyday to trust in the Higher Power and turn his sadness over to this God as he understood him.”

SOURCE: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.Ky. Page 18. Step Three.

“The final stage of healing…”

 

“The final stage of healing is using what happens to you to help other people.” Gloria Steinem

 

I certainly endorse that statement. If you have had the life threatening experience of an addiction and couldn’t recover without help then this statement makes a lot of sense to you.

Let’s consider what Dr. Bob S, co-founder of AA has to say, “I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others who want and need it daily. I do it for four reasons:

1 Sense of duty.

2. It is a pleasure.

3. Because in doing so I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.

4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for my self against  a possible slip.”

Thanks Dr. Bob.

In our program of recovery in Step Twelve this is pretty much what Dr. Bob is talking about and here is what it says:

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry  this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.”

If there is anything that has been a greater part of my healing from depression it is in telling my story.  I continue to carry the message to anyone who is wiling to listen. Join a Depressed Anonymous group where you live, or if you are alone, then possibly a Home Study avenue might be what you are looking for.

On this coming Saturday I will be honored to be the moderator of a Webinar directed to the Depressed Anonymous groups in Russia and beyond.  For more information please check out this website (depressedanon.com ) for Wednesday the 20th of February and get the details on how to log in.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Visit our Store at the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for how to look at Books available on line.

WEBINAR: A Depression Epidemic. Saturday February 23rd, 10AM (Central daylight time)

WEBINAR sponsored by a gathering of  Depressed Anonymous fellowships in Russia will be featuring Hugh S., member of a  USA Depressed Anonymous fellowship..  The program A Depression Epidemic will be in English and translated into Russian for the Russian gathering.  Everyone, from anywhere is welcome to attend!

Please check on the Internet to determine what the 10AM central daylight  time is in their time. zone.

All those interested are welcome to attend the WEBINAR free.

To link to register please use this  link to receive a link to the WEBINAR.

https://goo.gl/forms/IRzUsEGU6FDpzpLu1

For more information about the WEBINAR contact us at depanon@netpenny.net.

 

If we are fooling ourselves, a competent advisor can see this quickly.

How true that “if we are fooling ourselves, a competent advisor (sponsor)  can see this quickly. And, as he skillfully guides us away from our fantasies, we are surprised to find that we have few of the usual urges to defend  ourselves against unpleasant truths. In no other way can fear, pride, and ignorance be so readily melted.  After  a time, we realize that we are standing firm on a brand-new foundation for integrity, and we gratefully credit our sponsors whose advice pointed the way.

— Bill w., in As Bill Sees It. Page 248.

 

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous?

 

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous? Well, first let me say that when I started attending  Depressed Anonymous meetings, I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad that I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around to talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six weeks of isolation, I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the Depressed Anonymous group where I attend answered my phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason, it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next Depressed Anonymous meeting. After the meeting was over, I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found that the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed persons just like. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.”

A member of Depressed Anonymous tells his story in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page 133.

For more publications on Depression and recovery, please click onto THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS BOOKSTORE at VISIT THE STORE.

The International Depressed Anonymous Online SKYPE Meeting

NOTICE: Whenever a blog post mentions an online meeting be sure to consult the page Online Depressed Anonymous Meetings for the most up to date and correct information. If the blog post is more than a few days old there is a chance it could be incorrect.

Please  take notice that the International Depressed Anonymous Online SKYPE meeting  is now open for group members.  Newcomers are especially welcome.

The way to attend this meeting, which is online every Sunday at 14.30 CET (Central European Time). People can check on the Internet what the time  would be for their own time zone.  The meeting uses the same format as at a regular Depressed Anonymous meeting. The meeting is in English.

Here is  the address that will take you immediately to the DA meeting.

 https://join.skype.com/l8Xf0uW4hYUW

From victim of depression to survivor to a life with hope. This is my story.

I remember well how a person’s personal narrative  describes their experiences with depression.  I hear it almost daily; read about it almost daily; and respond to it almost daily. As a victim, survivor of depression,  I have gradually morphed into a communicator of hope for the depressed,  family members and friends.   Because  they believe in heir own  narrative of hoplessness and helplessness and all the while  discounting  the fact  that things will ever be alright.   I can tell people all day long that it is “gonna be alright”  and the response usually  is,”great, but when?” Let me tell my story.

Since 1985, as a person depressed myself, and using tools that I learned along the way  to becoming   a survivor,  I gradually learned of a plan. It was a simple plan. It was based on 12 simple spiritual principles.  By spiritual, I  mean   simple spiritual principles,  that there is a God that loves me. I call this my Higher Power,  that deep inner  loving force which gives us the power to respond, especially in our deep personal crises,  giving us  strength, making it possible to use our mind and heart to trust in its power.   Our trust and our own surrender to its will for us,  that divine guide, will lead us out of the darkness.  After a time, I was more and more intent on listening to  the voice in my head that said, “you are going to make it!” Not the voice that said, I was hopeless and worthless.

I have dedicated much of my life,  always with  hope  that you and I and all the depressed,  can survive the isolation, self-hatred and helplessness  that we have built   and creating  the  prison of depression  which afforded us no escape. We really believed that we had been served a lifetime sentence of being in an emotional and mental lockdown .  Gradually , our own thinking and deepening moods of hopelessness and helplessness  became life threatening.

Once free of the depression shackles I began to share with the depressed my plan! Actually, I had nothing to do with formulating this plan of recovery and survival.

The  plan was developed by two guys, one a stockbroker and the other an MD. Both came from being victims of alcoholism to being survivors. They lived out their recovery  plan  by sharing the route, their own experiences with each other and those others who were gathering around the message of hope  and that  power that led them.   This plan is spelled out in  what is now called the 12 Steps  of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Their plan worked for the alcoholic in the late 1930’s and it continues to work its power in the 21st century.

We have applied the Steps  and have found the  plan works equally well for the depressed. As we well  know, many, have faced life with despair and  without hope–they had no plan. For some, suicide was the only way out of this endless agony.

So, let’s consider what each one of us can do.   Look at what each of us can do who are depressed or who have been depressed.  For myself, I have shared   my story of being  victim, a survivor. As a victim, I had no knowledge of what was wrong with me, no way of knowing what to do to get out of the mental mess I was in and so I did only what I knew–to run away from it. Like Forrest Gump, I began to walk, and walk some more, every day,  each day. Finally my mind cleared, and I sought help. I knew that since the Steps worked for the hopeless alcoholic they had to work for someone  like me,  who was  filled with shame and guilt and despair. This is when I found that working the Steps, one after another would produce not only sobriety but an enduring  hope, one day at a time. And the way to get this hope and to strengthen its power in our lives  was to gather others around us who feel the same as I did.  We were no longer alone in our struggle. Others spoke the same language as did  myself. They got it!

I have spent  the last three  decades of my life, sharing   my story, attempting to  to give hope to those still suffering. That is my mission. I believe that is why God provided Bill W., and Dr. Bob with that spiritual  awakening,  lighting  up their own path in recovery.   They made it possible for all of us who wanted this light, this plan, and then to take this light and help others find what we have found.

I follow a roadmap-a plan developed by two guys who saw no way out except by helping other men and women who were looking for someone to give them hope and a path out of their addiction to alcohol.  They both knew, as do we  in the program, that to live out the plan in our daily lives it is essential that we carry our message of hope to others. That is the message of the plan. Give it away. Don’t put your treasure under a basket. Let the light shine. I really think that Bill W., and Dr. Bob were the two angels god sent to give all of us, those of their own time, for us today and for the future, a reason to stay alive. They had a simple plan. They each told their story to the alcoholic of how life was before and then how life was being lived  now-with sobriety and hope.  They shared how their life was before their recovery and then shared how their life was  now.  They didn’t preach. They had their story. And they told hurting  men and women that they could be free.

I too have my story, I have a message of hope, and like the 12 Steps of AA, on which Depressed Anonymous is modeled, it is slowly beginning  to reach  people who  can now hope.   Depression is in epidemic  proportions  effecting every nationality and region of the earth. Later this month a Depressed Anonymous group from Russia is sponsoring a Webinar  about depression and mutual support.

I have  a story to tell. A story that  provides  hope and a way to live, every day of our lives. And this is my story.

This is my passion. With gratitude!

————

Thank you for reading this story of hope and healing. Please share with that person who needs hope–included with  a plan that works!

Hugh

 

I Can’t Make A Decision!

AFFIRMATION

I make a decision today to read one of the newsletters listed at the Newsletter Archives on this website (www.depressedanon.com.) or the BLOGS from the past week.

“Psychiatrists regard a person’s statement, ‘I can’t make a decision’ as a symptom of an illness, when really it is a reasonable effective defense…if you are trying to shut out all the matters which you find uncontrollable, threatening and confusing, you cannot give those matters the careful scrutiny they need if you are to make a decision about them. They create such turmoil in our mind that you decided that it is best to not decide. You can say ‘I am depressed. I cannot make my decision.’ Spending the day with the blanket over your head is as much a result of a decision as is going out and facing the world.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Most times when I am depressed, I don’t want to think about  changing anything. Everything is hopeless and  useless anyway so why try and  use all that mental  energy to sort it all out. This is the type of thinking that continues the fuzziness and the confusion. It is a refuge from having to do something. about where I am today.

But when  I decide that I’ve had enough, I get my dander up and declare to myself, and really to the world around me, that I am going to play my cards differently. This is a good place to begin working on the Fourth Step, that “I will make a fearless and  moral inventory of myself.”

Meditation

God help us change what needs to be changed today and let us know what it is and what is OK with us as well. Help us sort out the fog and fuzziness of our mind so that your guidance will create in us a desire to help ourselves.”

SOURCES:             Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. February 7th.

Depressed Anonymous , 3rd edition. (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

  I’ll do it when I feel better. (2018) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

 

Today is your day!

If you are depressed, this is your day. Yesterday is gone forever, except in our memories. Tomorrow is not here yet, except in our imagination. This is all we got. This 24 hour period of time is my time. This is the space in which we will be living for the next 24 hours. For some of us, it won’t pass fast enough. But think about it: we’ve told ourselves thousands of time that we will not face who we are and what we want today but only when we feel like it. I will do it when I feel like it. Sound familiar?

The physical and mental pain of our sadness won’t allow us to think about anything BUT my pain. I feel like I am in a prison and no matter what keys I am supposed to have to get out, nothing will work. I won’t accept that I have options for my release. Once depressed –always depressed, that’s my mantra.

Today is your day. This is the day you are going to make a break ! This is your day to do something different. Namely, to listen for that other voice inside your head. You are going to hear that there is another way out. The lockdown is over. You don’t have to live this way. Isolated. Imprisoned and without hope.

In “I’ll do it when I feel better is written for all of us who are waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what, I ask? Yes, I know what you are waiting for–you are waiting for the depression to just disappear. Poof! And it’s gone. But you and I know better than that. We have been depressed for so long we can’t accept that we can do anything about our life sentence of misery. I have personally been at this struggle for so long that I know something very important about leaving behind the misery of our lives. The fact is that when we begin to take charge of our thoughts, feelings and lives, good things will begin to happen today. How? Talk to a person who has been there and is now recovered-living that life of hope. Read the hopeful material from folks who have successfully found that making today decision day is today.

Let’s be honest. I once faced the same feeling of being hopeless and despair. I never thought that I was able to dig out of the hole that I had been living in. My continuous negative and hopeless thinking eroded all the motivational energy that I might have had to try something that might work for me.

This is your day! You still have hours left in this day to make a decision to start the life that you have been wishing for. Throw the sheets off–get off the couch-call a friend–check out this website depressedanon.com discovering how to get motivated for something that will work for you. Why? Here you will find the written accounts of folks, just like you and me, who have begin to live one day at a time. They are making the most of each day. Many of us begin each 24 hours by saying this prayer, the moment upon awakening:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

It’s similar to putting your toe in the water. Too cold? Too hot? No, just right. Why? Because there is hope here. There are folks here who are available for you to talk with. There is an International online SKYPE group that meets every Sunday. People who need to talk with others about their own recovery using the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous.. People who are in recovery. These are those who are spending today reaching out to others for assistance. They find kindred spirits everywhere.

You can read hopeful stories of people like yourself in Depressed Anonymous who have made a decision to live each day with hope. For example, the following is Gloria’s story of how her “today” was on June 6, 1985. (First meeting of Depressed Anonymous was founded at this time).

“There are four of us who were together first on June 6th, 1985. We have become very good friends. I still remember what the counselor from the very first meeting told us. “I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped, some for just one meeting, some wanting a magic wand waved. It has helped me over the rough spots, and gave me courage to go on as a widow. I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me depressed at times. My Mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.

I will continue t attend Depressed Anonymous. Every time is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or a hug or who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God who loves all. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Annonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. (Personal Stories section. Page 141/In helping others I helped my self).

“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free us of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we relax, and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile.

We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we are shown all through the day what our next step will be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.” Bill W.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY! WHAT CAN YOU MAKE OF IT?

For more information please contact: depanon@netpenny.net.

www. depessedanon.com for BLOGS and information about depression and recovery tools.

Visit the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more information on how to order books online

SOURCES: (Copyright) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

(Copyright) I’ll do it when I feel better. Hugh Smith (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 101. Louisville. KY. (Quote from As Bill Sees it. The AA Way of Life… selected writings of A.A.’s co-Founder. AA World Services Inc., New York. 1967. Page 243.)