Category Archives: Gratitude

Choice, Gratitude, Hope

Hold On

I’m listening to hits from the 1990’s and the song Hold On from Wilson Phillips came on. The lyrics are about an unhealthy relationship but the lyrics could easily be about my depression.

I just need to hold on for one more day and that day is today. When I keep in the day life becomes more manageable. Not easy but something I have a chance of managing. Let go of the past Bill. Let go of the future. Living is about being in the moment, the here and now.

I fall into the trap that I’m stuck feeling emotionally spent for now and for all time. My problem is not my emotions but rather the thoughts behind the emotions. I’m on the proverbial mental gerbil wheel of constantly thinking of my bad emotions. I even fell into it there. Are my emotions truly bad or am I judging them that way?

Hold onto the reality of the moment Bill. I have a roof over my head, I ate an hour ago. I showered with hot water. I am blessed and a beloved child of God. You, dear reader, are as well. Life may be difficult at the moment but HOLD ON!

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Choice, Community building, Fellowship, Gratitude, Prayer, Spiritual Heroes, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 04

The meaning of your life is to help others find the meaning of theirs

1 Comment

Viktor E. Frankl, in his esteemed book, Man’s Search for Meaning, shares with us how we cannot avoid suffering, but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward.

As I was faced with my own depression, I was able over time to restore sanity and meaning to my life. Eventually, I have learned how to help others who are depressed, cope and come out on the other side of a life lived without meaning. For me personally, I found that essentially, by sharing my own story with others, they found that there was hope. And as they shared their story, they found strength, telling others who they are and what brought them to the point of seeking help.

Having spent time in Nazi death camps, during World War II, Frankl shares his story about spiritual survival. Many of those who faced death in the camps gradually lost faith in a future. They felt that there was nothing to live for, believing they were destined for death anyway.

His book, and his story, inspires us to look at how meaning gave hope to his own life and now my own. The struggle with depression, coupled with that sense of helplessness and hopelessness, brought to life a great awakening when I discovered that there is hope. We can live without depression. Not only have I had a spiritual awakening, I now am able to lead others on a path where they too, can find what I found. I found a spiritual program of recovery, that actually came with tools that gave me answers to my life’s questions. Not only did I learn how to thrive in the present, but to continue thriving day after day.

I am now able to share with others, how the meaning for my life comes by helping others find meaning for theirs. When you thrive, We thrive.

So, become aware, get motivated, gear up for action, and maintain a gratitude for how your own meaning for life is sustaining your hope everyday.

Hugh

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Prayer, Serenity, The 12 Steps

Helen, gets it! “I have to take responsibility for my own life.”

Leave a comment

The following excerpt is from a letter that Helen wrote to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship about her recovery from depression.

Her story is just one of the many stories, relating their recovery from depression, found in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous Pages 110-152.

“Now that I look back and see the way I was and see now how I am now,
I can’t believe that I ever knew that other person. This person is different altogether. I like this person now very much. I am thankful to the group. They are just wonderful. They are my family. They are my Depressed Anonymous family. I also have my church family. It is a wonderful feeling to know that there is a Higher Power that can take you through these things. At first, I thought, “I doubt that very much” when everyone was talking about the Higher Power and peace in my life. Then it happened to me. Every few days, the world dumps down on you and beats you down. That’s my life. I always think to myself that there is that extra strength that I didn’t have before. I feel that everything is going to be OK with me. I have that peace now myself.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (1998) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. pp 145-148.

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Gratitude, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps, The Promises

The rear view mirror as a metaphor for our recovery path

Leave a comment

How many times does it happen that we make a review of our personal recovery progress within our Depressed Anonymous fellowship? In a sense, it is like looking backward in our rear view mirror, taking a closer look at our recovery path,an inventory,if you will, of our positive and negative areas of our life. All with the belief, that our willingness, honesty and openness to that power greater than ourselves to change for the better, we make the choices to change, and live with serenity.

My memories of that first time that I walked through the door of recovery, is still fresh in my mind. This was the beginning of the journey of hope for myself and for all of us. Now, many years later, or maybe just a few months later , it is in looking back, that we can see that our lives have been changing, for the better, Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. We now live in hope, one day at a time.

We can see the way it was, and the way it is now, the difference between night and day. We are living in the light of hope, and with work, prayer and a loving fellowship that continues to embrace and fortify us for the journey ahead, we are grateful.

A member of another fellowship share, how “it was hard or impossible to recognize or appreciate the slow going of his recovery to see his his progress, until long after they took place. Looking back, THROUGH HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR he celebrates all the important and astounding things that HAVE happened to him in recovery.”
Please continue to move forward and then take a look now and then and give thanks and be grateful for where you are standing today.

Hugh, for the fellowship

A paraphrased quote From the Grapevine Daily Quote.Fort Worth Texas, November 2006, Where’s the miracle?, Step by Step. Submitted by Robin R.

Affirmations, Belief, Choice, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

One of the great paradoxes of human life…

4 Comments

DECISION 12 : “I will learn to share my sadness with others and to share their sadness.” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds. Understanding depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Page 271.

“One of the great paradoxes of human life is that, in the way that we are born and die and in between create our own unique world of meaning, we are always atone, yet the only way that we can live with the essential aloneness is to share our life with other people.” Page 271.

Dear Reader, this concludes our journey of how to Leave Loneliness Behind. By making the 12 Decisions our own, and living out these truths as presented to us by Dorothy Rowe, we can leave loneliness behind.
I give total credit to Dr. Rowe, psychologist, for her wisdom, that she shares with us here in BREAKING THE BONDS.
Jill Tweedie. a reviewer, tells us that the writer Dorothy Rowe, is the “light at the end of the tunnel.” If you make that decision to read this work, I know you will agree.

Hugh S.

Affirmations, DA Literature, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Stress, The 12 Steps

I will learn how to receive a gift generously

Leave a comment

DECISION 10: Receiving a gift.
“IF you determine that the gift does come with the unstated message of obligation you then have three choices;
1. You can accept the gift as you always have, and not feel guilt, anger and obligation.
2. You can state the unstated message to the giver and say that you cannot accept such a gift. To do this you must completely abandoned your belief that you must never upset anyone ever and have developed some competence in dealing with upset people.
3. You can accept the gift as if it is a free gift, ignore the obligation, feel happy and enjoy the gift. To do this you must have given up being an expert in being good and have developed a competence in doing things which are not wholly admirable but are immensely enjoyable.

If you determine that the gift does come as a free gift, given out of love and concern, then yugo must receive it with the same generosity with which it was given. Let yourself feel joy, not guilt. Don’t say “Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ Say ‘It’s wonderful. I love it, and give the giver a hug and a kiss. All we want when we give a fee gift is to see the other person’s happiness.
Sometimes what gets in the way when we want to enjoy a gift is our envy.”

Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bonds. Understanding Depression, Finding freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Pages 209-210.
Dorothy Rowe is The author of BREAKING THE BONDS of the Twelve Decisions, contained in the chapter, LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND, Pages 238-279.

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Leaving Loneliness Behind (4) – Dismantling the Barriers

Leave a comment

DECISION 4. “i will be interested in the other person.”

“The best gift that you can give another person is to take an interest in them.”

Taking the other peron seriously, means being concerned about what they are concerned about. Remember little things about your new friend. Ask, if they life to read? Do they prefer Fiction or non-fiction? Do they like to go to movies? What are their hobbies?

You have to listen to another person to really know one. Seem simple enough? Be sure and share some of the things that you like to do with your free time.
People feel good when someone wants to know something about them.”

Reader. Please add something in your own life that you like to talk about with new friends. Do you like to share things which you are proud of in your life?

Tomorrow: (5) Leaving Loneliness Behind. I WILL improve my skills in Listening and asking questions. This is my way to get to know the other person.

Community building, Courage, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Purpose, Service, Step 12

Service in Recovery

1 Comment

Today I’m truly grateful to be able to do service in my 12 step fellowships. Especially in DA, which has done so much for me. But I didn’t always feel that way about service! At first, I was very scared to make a commitment to chair a meeting. How could I, someone suffering from depression, someone unable to function successfully in daily life, someone who didn’t know if I could get out of bed or not on a particular day, how could I possible make a commitment to chair a meeting? Well, the group supported me and said “we’ll be here if you can’t make it. Just let us know! And we applaud you for being willing!” So I agreed. I also faced technology challenges. At the time the DA meetings were using Skype and I didn’t know how to use that platform (or any online meeting platform, for that matter).  So on a day and a time when a meeting was not going on, I logged on and pretended to chair a meeting. I went for a practice run to learn the technology. I asked someone for help, and they helped me. I faced my fears and I showed up for the first meeting that I volunteered to chair. I stumbled. But the meeting went on, and no one died! I made a mistake and it was okay.

I had feelings of anxiety, but I walked away with an inkling of a sense of purpose. So I kept chairing, and that sense of purpose increased. I started going to business meetings, and they needed people to do service there too. So I volunteered. As I continued, I felt more useful and my confidence grew.

The point I’m trying to make is that doing service has greatly helped my recovery! I learn lessons here in DA that I’m applying to other areas of my life. I’m growing. That is one of my goals – to stay green and growing. Doing service gives me that opportunity. And the icing on the cake is that doing service allows us to help DA as a whole and ensure that DA will be there for others who need it, just like I needed it and still need it.

In closing, the Responsibility Statement, revised for DA:

“I am responsible – when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, I want the hand of DA always to be there, and for that: I am responsible.”