All posts by Hugh Smith

Acceptance, Addiction, Fellowship, Meditation, Prayer, Purpose, Spirituality, Step 01, The 12 Steps

A Rock In A Rocky Sea Which We All Hold Onto

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“Remarkable things happen to us when we are willing to admit defeat and talk about our powerlessness over our depression and how our lives had become unmanageable. This first step is the beginning of the flight of steps that takes us up and into our new way of living.  At our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous we talk hope, we act hopeful, and we think hope. We learn that our thinking depressed and negative  thoughts might have gotten us in the shape that we are in today.  What you think is what you become. For us who find sadness our second nature, we at times continue to revert to the comfort of old familiar negative thinking and are in  actuality returning to self destructive activity. Hope is overcome by  sadness.

When we become convinced that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, we found ourselves turning many times during a twenty four hour period to that power.  It is a rock in a rocky sea that we all hold onto when we find it easier to just give up and sadden ourselves instead of facing the storm and living through the fear. What Bill W., said about the alcoholic applies equally to the saddict: “He or she can settle for mediocrity and self-satisfaction even though this may indeed prove to be a precarious perch. Or he/she can choose to go on growing in greatness of spirit and action.”

You never stop using and following the steps of the program. We are  in recovery all our lives. You don’t graduate. When we return to saddening ourselves, we return to the old compulsion that can again reduce us to that bankrupt individual who is bereft of peace and hope. We want to grow in the conviction that the Higher Power will restore us to sanity. One of the best ways to grow out of our  saddiction  is to start acting the healer instead of being the passive victim.  We are under the care of no one except our God.

This spiritual awakening is enhanced even further when we make a decision to turn our wills and our minds over to the care of God. Without a doubt this is a very big step for many people to trust anybody – and now especially to trust a God who they have spent a lifetime fearing. It is this decision which allows us to feel freedom when  we start to practice the daily turning over of our will to God. It frees us up and as we pray and listen in our meditation times, we find that our spiritual capacity to connect with the Higher Power is greatly magnified.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 107.

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” It has to be that what one believes is what one can become. Actually it is a self fulfilling prophecy  that how we conceive of our self is what we can become. This having a dream and setting out some life goals can lead to a life filled with hope and promises.  And for those of us who take our 12 Step fellowship seriously and stay actively involved one day at a time, soon discover the joy and serenity that this spiritually rich recovery program provides.”

SOURCE: I’ll do it when I feel better. (2016) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. Page 85.

 

Fellowship, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

“There will be no mountain I cannot climb.”

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Ralph’s story continued…

“I have come a long way since that first day  I walked through those doors (Depressed Anonymous Fellowship) and into all of your open arms.  It was good to know that other people had the same feelings that I had experienced. I had feelings  of loneliness and despair, and felt that  there was no way  out of the living hell that was going through me inside. At that time, it was like my heart and my soul had been ripped out of my body.

I felt that my own mind was my worst enemy and its mission was to destroy me. I had many sleepless nights and my mind was forever racing with negative thoughts of gloom and doom. I did not think that I would ever function like a normal being again. I felt my negative thoughts would win the battle and that I would forever be condemned to the eternal hell.

The Depressed Anonymous Group has proven me all wrong( thank God). The group has been my guardian angel who was speaking to me all the time. I learned that there was hope for me after all. There is a new rebirth in me spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I believe now that I can go on with my life  without all the fears that I bottled up inside of me. As long as I have faith in my Higher Power and the Depressed Anonymous Group, there will be no mountain that I cannot climb. I am forever grateful.”

Ralph

Read more of Ralph’s story in   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. Pages 117-118.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fear, Step 04

“Are you afraid of the dark?”

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When I was a child I was afraid of going down into our home’s basement.  It was  dark and  gloomy.   My older brother convinced me that a frightening ghost was prepared to jump on me and eat me if I ever   ventured downstairs. Even when the single light that shone during the day couldn’t free me from my dreaded fear of the unknown.

As I grew older and outgrew my fears about ghosts and such I still was plagued with fears about things which popped up  unexpectedly  in my life. The way I handled  these fears was to think of all the possible ways that  I would be eaten (metaphorically speaking )  if the dark moods which  were   created  inside of me  continued.  It appeared that the more I  was feeling these unpleasant feelings swirling around in my mind, the more fearsome they did become. It was no longer the ghost in the basement  that terrified me but it was my own fears of being  reduced to nothingness that sent me spiraling downward into the great dark abyss. In a certain manner  of speaking, when I had a situation that caused my whole person to grieve something as much as a part of ourselves , loss of a love, a loved one’s death, loss of freedom through an addiction,  again I was  being thrust  into the dark basement of my childhood, with  those old  horrific feelings  suddenly rekindled and as real a threat as the imagined ferocious  basement ghost of my childhood.

Feelings are like that. They seem to just come out of the blue. In reality they come out of our past and those awful fears are being reignited by some of the same situations that caused us such panic in the earliest years of our lives. These fears continue to scare us and shut us down, feeling-wise, as long as we make no efforts to identify them and see how they are  connected  between then and now. Our body sensors are always alert to danger and so somehow a present danger or unpleasant feeling appears as fresh and new, when in reality it has its origin in a fearful childhood experience.

“By our continual shutting ourselves up in the little world of our own mind, we gradually sink more and more into despair and feel that no one can understand how we think and feel. The biggest freedom that we can gain from confessing to someone else is that we  no longer  have to have it all together and be perfect. We can then begin to admit we are petty, selfish and self-centered.  We can then  admit that we want to have restored a sense of peace by getting free from all worry and fear from the past and by turning these feelings  over to the Higher Power. We can discover that forgiving  ourselves and being forgiven by God are one and the same thing. The group will see to it that the more you admit your own fears about yourself and the future the less terror the present will hold for you.”

For more on this important  subject please read Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE here at our site and order online more of our valuable books on the subject.

12 Step Meeting, Belief, Fellowship, Isolation, Love, Purpose, Spirituality

Making “gratitude my attitude” helps keep Robin out of depression.

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A personal story/ testimony from Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition by Robin.

“Through the Depressed Anonymous program, which utilizes the Twelve Steps, I have been on a  journey of transformation from the familiar life of drudgery and gloom and desperation to discovering a new freedom and a new happiness – something I didn’t know existed. My entire perspective is changing.  Other people who I once thought were   judgmental  are now considered as all being a child of God–all created equal. What a peace provocative tool this is. Really! It helps me lift those negative attitudes and replaces them with affirmations. This is certainly the most  valuable technique offered in Depressed Anonymous to acquire an optimistic attitude towards life itself, or simply “making gratitude my attitude.” So many of us were only familiar with the sham and the drudgery of life, but even with all the sham and drudgery in the word,  it is still a beautiful place to live.  We learn to change not the world, but how we view the world and all its intricacies.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

It is truly a remarkable fact, that  by going to one meeting you may hear someone  share  their own personal story and you think they are talking about you. It is amazing how this works, but not really.  What happens  is that all of us who come to the Depressed Anonymous meeting for the first  time, find that members of this mutual aid group speak the same language … hope and support. It does take one to know one, which is true. I guess the point here is that if we all feel pretty much the same thing when we are depressed, even though my depression experience is unique to me and how it effects my life, that this awareness is a great thing as it helps to produce those many strategies for recovery which can be applied across the board for most of  us in the group. The Twelve Steps are  strategies that in time and  work can   give us a  fresh and healing perspective for  our individual lives.  To read more about the recovery experience   of  others who have used tjourney of transformation

he Twelve Steps,  VISIT THE STORE and continue to find other literature which can   provide you with hope  plus  a way out of your depression.

Hugh

The latest offer by the PUBLISHER is the KINDLE edition of Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily Thoughts and Meditations for Twelve Step individuals. Take a Higher  Thought with you were ever you go!

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Siberia calling!

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Thursday I was able to SKYPE a recovery group meeting in a 12 Step- treatment facility in Siberia. I could see them and they could see me–around the world in seconds and here we are talking  with people from all over Russia. The Director of the facility spoke excellent English and the participants in this conference call,  asked questions in their native Russian and then the Director gave  them to me in English. I answered the questions in English  and then he translated the answers  to the group in Russian.

It was a very lively conference, with most of the questions concerning depression and discussing ways to deal with  this potentially life threatening illness. All the participants were from all over the Russian territory and I was impressed with their 12 Step fellowship and commitment to recovery.

My relationship with the Russian 12 Step treatment goes back about 2 years.   I was asked to  take part in a conference  that deals specifically with depression and the 12 Steps of recovery program. I do know of a few Depressed Anonymous programs already extent in Russia. Our program book (Big Book) has  also been translated into the Russian language by a member of the Ukrainian  DA group program.

SKYPE is a wonderful way for all of us to stay connected–especially in the far reaches of the world. We are also in contact with  the national Director of Depressed Anonymous in Iran. The Director tells me there are at least 100 DA groups in Iran which accounts for 1500 members.

They have just about finished translating Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. They have already completed the full translation of the DA  workbook. They will then have completed translating and making public the two main books of our Program. All our transactions are done by email and SKYPE.

Please get involved with us with the great communicating tool SKYPE. My address on SKYPE is hugh.smith75. Call me and I will look forward to sharing whatever I can with you and any national group that is interested.

Have a good day.

Our email address:  depanon@netpenny.net

Hugh for Depressed Anonymous

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Fellowship, Focus, Step 01, The 12 Steps

Depressed Anonymous Had Been The Ultimate Key To A Successful Life

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Depressed Anonymous had been the ultimate key to a largely successful life for me. Prior to entering the program, I had no money, no driver’s license, and had dropped out of college  due to poor grades and a personal breakdown for which I was hospitalized. I had not then worked Step One because I wasn’t aware that I was powerless over my depression, that my life was disorganized as the mess in my closet.

During the first night in the hospital,  a member informed me of a support group known as Depressed Anonymous. I decided to give it a try. By telling me about this wonderful, miraculous and very spiritual program, this person had not only worked the  Twelfth Step, (Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all our affairs) but has also given me a key which would open many doors for me. Walking through these doors was like admitting defeat. I was playing first base in a  ball game in which I would eventually win. If I struck out, I was back on Step One. By playing ball with a positive attitude, I was allowing my Higher Power to walk the Steps to recovery with me. With the help and positive sense of fellowship that I enjoyed in the group, I began to understand God’s will for me.  With the love, support, and true friendship of three faithful members in the group, I began working on my driver’s license, which had been another step toward my independence  for me. Within a year, I earned my license when two members of the group took me in for a road test. A new sunnier life had begun for me. The worst was finally over.”

Lena, in  PERSONAL STORIES (#2): “We never talked about our feelings. ” Pages 112-113.

SOURCE:  DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville .

Acceptance, DA Literature, Journaling, Victim Thinking

DEPRESSED? LEARN FROM LOIS HOW TO BECOME A SURVIVOR!

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Two days ago,  quoting from her piece in the Personal Stories section of Depressed  Anonymous (pages 111-112) we continue to read what she has to say about being a survivor of depression and not the victim.

Step Three (“Made a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I unstand God”) required much time, thought, and daily meditation. My Higher Power no longer was a permissive parent whom I begged would give to me what I thought I wanted. All the love, the caring, and the intelligence was there. I just had to accept it for myself. Today, the God of my understanding is different than when I began the journey. As a professional educated woman, spiritually I was in kindergarten. I badgered my counselor for a guide to assist me in taking my Fourth Step inventory. I wrote for months and then quickly moved to Step Five before I could rationalize it all away. The therapist who is responsible for beginning Depressed Anonymous in our area became another human being from our Fifth Step…

During my recovery there were times when I would begin to interfere and I would remind myself of what it was like when I was attempting to run the show.  Aloud I would say: “Oh, I turned that one over to you and I trust you. I don’t need to take it back.”

Today I view the situation as “unfolding” and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher  Power is in charge.”

___________________________________________

SOURCES:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. (Personal Stories/Pages 111-112).

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

The Home Study Project, includes both  WORKBOOK and the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS can be purchased together. Please VISIT THE STORE on  how to order the HOME STUDY PROJECT  on  our secure line.

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“I no longer experience those bleak, black, hopeless periods. My life is joyful.”

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Beginning with this post today, we will inaugurate a brand new series,  sharing portions of personal stories   of those who  have a new life,  thanks to their participation in the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. Each of those  who share their story   have made the  12 Steps a central factor in their own recovery.

Lois tells us that “the blackness – the despair – withdrawing more and more into myself – the hopelessness – there was no joy and I could no longer pretend. My husband said “You need to get some help.” I knew that he was right but I was always the one who helped others. Our newspaper carried a listing of all the support groups in the community and I found the notice for a Twelve Step Depressed Anonymous  group. I had never heard of it before, but I knew it fit. This group was just forming and was there when I needed it.

I had knowledge of Twelve Step programs and actually believed that I lived that life. Today I know that I previously had head knowledge but today I live the Twelve Steps.

It was December of 1992 that I made that decision. I know that I was powerless over depression and that my life had become unmanageable. I was  willing to do anything that Depressed Anonymous offered. I wanted to get rid of the pain. If Depressed Anonymous had told me  I would get well if I stood on my head three times  a day, I would have done it.  Daily, I read from the book (Depressed Anonymous)  and consciously worked the Twelve Steps.  I worked them one at a time. from Step One through Step Twelve. Working the Steps to me meant posting the Step I was working on and consciously pondering it throughout the day.

….The book gave me a formula. It promised me that I would feel better if I attended meetings, worked my Twelve Step program, ate properly, got an exercise program, and talked about my sadness to others.  I also started a journal, not just to state my woes, but with the intention of finding a solution. Each week, I articulated my unhappiness and my story to people who would listen and over time, inner wisdom began to unscramble the mess.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. (Personal Stories section). Pages 110-111.

Tomorrow we will share more of Lois’ thoughts here online. Feel free to give feedback on her story.

To read more of the sharing of Lois please go to our Depressed Anonymous book to which she refers   and read more of her story. Her story is on pages 110-111 in the Personal Stories section of our manual.

VISIT THE STORE for literature on the Steps and Depression. You will find much of what you are looking for  help with  your own recovery .

 

Choice, DA Literature, Fear, Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mutual Aid, Spiritual Heroes

SURVIVAL IS TO MEET LIFE’S PROBLEMS HEAD ON!

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AFFIRMATION

I am going to take a fearless and moral inventory of myself today and list on paper my strengths as well as my weaknesses, that is those characteristics in my life that might keep me fearful and depressed,

“Step Four and Five really have to be faced head-on if our depression is to go away. Steps Four and Five are all about cleaning house. We must square off with ourselves and begin the rooting out process that will in time, free us from our sadness and our identity as a depressed person. So often a person depressed is afraid, panic stricken really, in facing some issues that were never their fault in the first place.”

REFLECTION

I see so many people are liberated from their depression the moment they begin to look themselves in the eye and reflect on  their character defects. These persons are the ones who are not afraid to make a list of all the persons they have hurt by their isolating depression and by the thought that they are unacceptable to others and to themselves. By working Step Five which states  that “we admitted to God, ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I am assured by another person’s acceptance of me that I will get through this time of pain and hurt.

Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous had a spiritual awakening on night as he truly was at the lowest point in his life and begged God to help him. God’s love lit up the room for Bill and he was never the same after that. He was a changed man. I need to make restitution to my family, my friends, my spouse and to whomever for my withdrawing from life and hiding from my responsibilities. This is the work that is needed if I am to get free of the shackles of sadness.

MEDITATION

God, shine the light of your wisdom into our hearts so that you might help us find the way out of our depression and get on with living our  lives the way you would have us live them.  Our fears and anxieties are definitely not the way you would want us to live. You have shown us the way out of our misery by bringing us close to those who once were depressed, but now in recovery, are doing better.”

SOURCES: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for all members of 12 Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous  Publications. Louisville. Page 224/ November 10th.

Now available in the KINDLE format. Check out our STORE for more information as how to order online or snail mail.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.