“I believe that because so many sights, sounds and situations have been connected with sad feelings in my early years that today these same sights, smells and sounds trigger the same feeling in me today. It is automatic.  I have learned that over time and with  working one’s recovery program that one’s sad feelings become less and less and one’s more pleasant feelings begin to dominate.” Copyright. (c)  Higher Thoughts for down days. May 11.

Comment

I remember so well the painful feelings that accompanied my descent into that bottomless pit which we call depression. The frightening and unstoppable descent with all its pain and anxiety continued to work its paralyzing effect on my whole body. There seemed to be nothing that I could do to eradicate these feelings of “jitteriness” and anxiety. Even though there are no  such feelings as bad or good, these feelings have energy which  can produce  unpleasant or pleasant emotions. Feelings are produced by our thoughts, either conscious or unconscious, and these feelings  produce moods, which gradually effect our behaviors. So, in my own time of being depressed, what was once  my active life, suddenly turned sullen and static. I could no longer force myself to get out of bed a morning  and it was all I could do to force myself to get up and moving.

My thinking was totally barren of hope. It was gradually apparent to me that I had better do something soon, if I was to survive. It was then that I forced myself to get up, get out of bed and initiate  a walking program.  What once was no big deal in my life, namely walking, now served as the way out of my depression. In time my feelings changed from that persistent and  painful hollowness and jitteriness, to those of an inner calmness and serenity. And my thinking, now anchored by hope and a walking program that  was producing its’ positive effect with  pleasant feelings, once a normal part of my life now retuned.  I  have remained depression free ever since that time which now has reached more than thirty years. For that I am grateful to the program of Depressed Anonymous and my daily living out the  spiritual principles of 12 Step recovery.

SOURCES:    Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.

I’ll do it when I feel better.

Higher Thoughts for down days.

    Depressed Once -Not twice. An autobiography of the  spiritual journey out of depression.

 VISIT THE STORE  here  at our website to order these and more publications    from Depressed Anonymous Publications.

“But don’t expect that one psychologist can tell you just what the trick is to get out of being depressed. There is no trick, just hard work.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

The first three steps of the Twelve Steps  are about faith and the remaining nine Steps are all about action. One has to have faith that there is truly something bigger in this world than one’s own depression and one’s perspective.  I formerly used to believe that I was stuck forever in these moods where I just didn’t want to live anymore. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired with these feelings of despair. But now my program is a spiritual one and the spiritual way is the way out of my depression.

If I truly want to be free of my fears and anxieties, I will have to have  faith that the God of my understanding is not going to let me down.

My energies and commitment used to be directed toward finding ways to live always with the predictable and secure feelings that my sadness provide.  I am working another program, one which will help me find a way to live a life filled with serenity and hope.

MEDITATION

God, help us know your will so that we may start today filled with hope.

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups.  (1993, 1999)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“I have a gift to give today to someone : my experience of how I have overcome the powerful  grip of my sad thoughts and depression.” Hugh S., founder of Depressed Anonymous.

Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous has to say about his own struggles with depression.

“I have something to contribute to humanity, since I am peculiarly qualified, as a fellow sufferer, to give aid and comfort to those who have stumbled and fallen over this business of meeting life.  I get my greatest thrill of accomplishment from the knowledge that I have played a part in the new happiness achieved by countless others like myself.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am also grateful.  I have the gratitude attitude that my life has been completely turned around . I admitted that I have had a problem, that my life was unmanageable and that I intended to do something about it. This is the first time that I ever believed that I could do something about my depression. I am taking my message of hope to other fellow sufferer’s. It is heartening to me to know that even though I might have been depressed for as long as I can remember, that today is the first day of my life. Yes, there is a way out of this sadness. I am grateful for my new way of thinking and living my life.

It is one of my major accomplishments in this life to know that I have been a better and happier person by my continual efforts to be grateful for everything that God gives me. I thank my God, as I understand him, for the ability to do better at living, one day art a time.

MEDITATION

God, please give me the ability to know you and love you and increase in me the attitude that I will and can trust you more with each new day.

___________________

SOURCE:   Depressed Once-Not Twice: The spiritual autobiography of the journey out of depression. Hugh S., Depressed Anonymous Publications. 2002. Louisville.

   Alcoholics Anonymous: The story of how men and women have recovered from Alcoholism. Alcoholics Anonymous, World Services, Inc. NY. 1955.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Our Family of Origin

In order to make a good inventory (See Step Four ) I need to go to my roots  and discover how I came to be the person that I am today. As the saying goes, “We are  our parents.”

When we were small we “swallowed” our parents, meaning “swallowed” their main personality characteristics. Even today parents, grandparents, a stepparent, or guardian are all now part of our personality – for good or for ill.  For myself to escape from my depression  I need to discover how I might have received certain messages about myself from those adults who surrounded me as a helpless infant and child. All of us have received messages as children – some helpful and others not so helpful. Some messages directed toward us might have made us feel worthless because we got the message that we could never do anything to please others. ”

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SOURCE: (c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. L:ouisville. Page 29. The 4th Step: Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.