To admit that there is a problem is the first step which can move us into recovery. The First Step of the Twelve Steps begins with the word WE. This is a WE program–a program about us as a group of hurting people. Since we have tried to tackle our problems alone and in the confines of our own mind we soon discovered that for most of us this was not enough. We still were saddled with a life destroying and unmanageable situation. There must be a solution we thought. Yes, there is a solution. For many of us who have traveled this path of recovery, living out the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps and being part of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous we have found peace and a new way of living,
A Most Effective Strategy
AFFIRMATION
I will be a better person today than the person I was yesterday.
“The first step to change is to see it is as possible in our scheme of things. The next step is to accept and cope with the anger and frustration that change bring ..coping with anxiety involves accepting it into awareness and permitting its full expression. This may not lead to a comfortable stare in the short run, but in the long turn it is a most effective strategy.(6)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I believe that all growth is gradual and that each day I have only twenty-four hours in which to live out my life. In these twenty four hours I can get a lot accomplished in my efforts to surrender my need to be dependent upon my depression. My depression will no longer be an excuse that keeps me from starting my recovery program.
I know from personal experience that my life is very different from the way that it was before I turned my life over to my Higher Power. (Step 2 of Depressed Anonymous) Now I can live with the belief that this power is going to walk with me. I can now be assured that life is going to get better for me. It is better already. Since this program of Depressed Anonymous is spiritual, I know that my healing of my depression is accomplished by my desire to let God, as I understand him, direct my life. (Step 3 of Depressed Anonymous).
The program of the Twelve Steps has no pat answers and it will not allow you to be comfortable where you are–in fact it will cause you to want to move out of the prison of your depression and into the light of daily efforts to change.
MEDITATION
God, we are aware that this day and this day alone we are going to trust in you and we will commit ourselves to you so that we might commit ourselves to a positive change in our attitudes.
SOURCE: Copyright: HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS. Depressed Anonymous Publications Louisville Page 90. May 3rd.
My Inner Most Thoughts Are Stepping Stones
A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY
AFFIRMATION
I am going to think of my inner most thoughts as stepping stones to a better and more positive way to live my life.
“In the ancient secret Gnostic Gospels Jesus is reported as saying, ‘If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.'”(6)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
My sad thoughts which I continually run around in my mind keep me enslaved to inaction and a feeling of being trapped. I want to let these thoughts out so that I will be able to look at them and see them for what they are — the empty fears that have no power when placed out in the light of day. I believe that the more I express my fears to another, the less powerful they are and the less control they have over my life.
I am going to accept the fact that I have every right to be part of this universe and I am going to do everything in my power to achieve a sense of security and happiness for myself. The first step where “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable” is what will free me in time from the prison of my depression.
When we get in touch with what we fear, we can get in touch with ourselves. By doing this, we find a way out of the cold and lifeless sadness that we call depression.
MEDITATION
God, please come to us and dwell within us that you might create in us the strength that we need to bring us forth what is within us. This means both those pleasant and unpleasant thoughts.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 89. May 1.
LIVE TODAY AS IF IT IS THE FIRST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!
A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY!
I can do most anything to feel better and more alive. All I need to do is believe that I can do it. I want to believe.
” Through this Twelve Step program, I have been on a journey of transformation from the familiar life of drudgery, gloom and desperation to discovering a new freedom and a new happiness -something I didn’t know existed.” (8)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
This is the real world -The Twelve Steps program for healing and a gradual abstinence from hiding the pressure that builds from inside and pushes me to want to withdraw. I am more sure today than I was yesterday that the more I work my Twelve Step program, I know that like others who work this program, I will begin to feel better. I also believe that the more I begin to take charge of some areas of my life, like exercising, getting a hobby and moving about, the speedier will be my recovery.
From childhood, I had a sparse amount of love and nurturing. I know that I can find the freedom to live and feel differently than I did in the past. Today presents me with a clean slate, a new beginning, if you will. Granted my yesterdays are always there but my today is what really counts. This is the exciting part of living with hope. Life is a challenge and I need to forgive myself for all my yesterdays and live right now as if it is the first day of my life.
MEDITATION
God, make peace and serenity the by-word of our lives and efforts. We know that you are here — closer to us than the light that is in our eyes. We again trust you to live this unpredictable life with your hope and trust in us now.
___________
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down days. Pages 87-88.
DEPRESSION ALMOST COST ME MY LIFE
A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY
I am able to beat loneliness by repeatedly being with other people in recovery.
“I’m sure many sufferer’s could find a lot of comfort and support by coming into a group as I have done, to help beat the terrible loneliness which is felt by many of us and who find lasting friendship with lovely people.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
In the group, I established myself and I got some positive feedback from others who watched me grow and who have seen the genuine changes I make personally. I am gradually throwing off my personal war with sadness. The real support comes when I begin to learn that members of the group have the same problems that I have. That helps me trust others with the story of my life. These people are the ones who want to hear my story of how depression almost cost me my life. Now, my life is freeing me from my need to sad myself.
I feel I am able to attach myself to the group now that I know that they are struggling with the same depression that I struggle with. I no longer have to fight this battle on my own.
MEDITATION
God, you are our rock and our refuge, on you I place all my trust. We know and believe, easier now than before, that God has something good in store for us today.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville Pages 84-85.
Snap Out Of It!
How often have you ever found yourself saying this, SNAP OUT OF IT! to your loved one who is depressed? Doesn’t work. Do you know why?
It doesn’t work because of the many symptoms that make up the painful experience of depression. Fatigue is a big part of depression. The emotional war going on inside of a depressed person depletes the vital energy from a person and as everything seems hopeless the body gets the message not to even try. The depressed finally learns that motivation follows action. To get better, the depressed has to find a reason to get help. The understanding family is the best motivation.
Family members discover they experience many of the same feelings as the depressed! If you checked off more than five of the items below , you might consider the DEP-ANON FAMILY GROUP.
When family members were asked to prioritize, describe and list which feelings they experienced most often and most intensely, the following are those which they documented, from most intense to less intense.
1) Feeling overwhelmed and burdened by a family member’s depression.2) Feeling restricted around the depressed, feelings of something similar to the expression of walking on egg shells.3) Feelings of helplessness. 4) Anxiety about the situation and not knowing what to do about the feelings they were experiencing. 5) Feeling emotionally drained. 6) Feeling inadequate, faced with a loved one’s immobility and lack of motivation.7) Feeling anger and frustration at the depressed. 8) Being an enabler. 9) Feeling that one was living an unproductive life as one was stymied by the depressed unproductive depression. 10) Having feelings of irritability and impatience.11) Feeling inadequate. 12) Unhappy. 13) Feeling betrayed in retirement by spouse’s late life depression. 14) Indecisive and lacking confidence in themselves.
ARE YOU SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE DEPRESSED EXPERIENCE THE SAME EMOTIONS? YOU HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAT YOU THOUGHT!
SOURCE: (COPYRIGHT) DEP-ANON FAMILY GROUP MANUAL: The 12 step support group for family and friends of the depressed. DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY.
WHAT TO SAY TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS DEPRESSED.
The following are some thoughts taken from the Dep-Anon Family Group Manual: The 12 Step Support Group for Family and Friends of the Depressed. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages Y&Z.
” It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed to attempt to immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional) the following responses are more likely to help.
“The things that didn’t make me feel worse are words which 1) acknowledge my depression for what it is (No, it’s just a phase ) 2) Give me permission to feel depressed( “but why should you be sad?”)”
Here is a list of things that might be said to a depressed family member or friend:
1. I love you.
2. I care.
3. You’re not alone in this.
4. I’m not going to leave/abandon you.
5. Do you want a hug?
6. It will pass, we can ride it out together.’
7. When it is all over, I’ll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you.
8. Don’t say anything, just hold my hand and listen while I cry.
9. We are not primarily on earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.
10. I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.
11. I listen to you talk about it, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just can’t imagine how hard it is for you.
12. You are important to me.
13. If you need a friend…(and mean it).
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-Compiled by bw@cv.hp,com. Version 12.
10 WORST THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS DEPRESSED.
10 worst things to say to someone who is depressed.
“But it’s all in your mind.”
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
“You have so many things to be thankful for, why are you depressed?”
“You have it so good, why aren’t you happy?”
“Well at least it’s not that bad.”
“There are a lot of people worse off than you.”
“Have you gotten tired of all this me me stuff?”
“Everybody has a bad day now and then.”
“You can do anything you want if you just set your mind to it.”
“You don’t look depressed.”
The Source: Compiled by bw@cv.hp.com @ http://www.excepc.com/-corbeau/worst.html
Getting A Grip!
AN AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY
Just for today, I intend to believe and hope that my relaxing my hold on life will give me, paradoxically, a better grasp (grip) on where I need to be in life.
“I still get scared, I don’t know where I am going or what I want anymore, or what life will throw up at me next, but, for the first time in my life, there is no rigid life-plan, and I have been forced to take, and enjoy, one day at a time.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
After admitting that I am depressed I can very truthfully say that I now need to get on with my life and work. I want to admit as well that the Higher Power will not let me travel down any roads that I need not travel. Even though there are always a few bends in the road along the way, I will still trust in my God to get me where I need to get. I also know that by attaching myself to my God’s leading I cannot go wrong.
By the time I was almost a year old, I already knew who I wanted to attach myself to as well as I knew who I wanted to withdraw from. Is it possible that early on childhood frights are still unconsciously scaring the wits out of me today. I need to live in the solution and attach myself to what has worked for me in the past when I got myself out of depression.
MEDITATION
Just our surrendering our will to you, our God, gives us the liberty to attach ourselves to new and hopeful ways of reflecting about our lives.
SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for Down days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40217. Pages 83-84. April 25.
HAVING A NEAR-LIFE EXPERIENCE
THE NEAR-LIFE EXPERIENCE
I was in the middle of working my way out of the fog of my melancholia(depression) when suddenly I felt a lift in my spirit. It felt so strange, this feeling of deliverance. It was the way I was before my disabling sadness imprisoned me. I was always a cheerful and upbeat sort of guy and in the blink of an eye, I was thinking the pain was over. Not so quick I thought–“this won’t last”. Right on. It didn’t. So, I continued my 5 mile walk through the mall and wondered about this near-life experience that I just had. It was back to that deadly hollow feeling in my gut with thoughts that traveled through my brain like cold molasses.
Because I didn’t have a clue what was happening to me physically, mentally and even spiritually, I knew something, whatever that something was had almost completely disabled me. It was torture to even force myself out of bed. I resented folks who were laughing and having a good time. And this intolerable hollow feeling inside of me continued eating away at me until I thought I would die. I knew I had to keep my job and keep on keeping on. My face became a mask. Inside I was dying. On the outside my persona continued as the nice guy, the upbeat and positive guy. My face turned me into a liar.
Gradually though, my very brief brush with a light feeling, a near-life feeling, became a life once known as a very welcome old friend. The hollowness disappeared. My inside feelings were the same that was on my face.
People talk about having a near- death experience. You know, the light at the end of the tunnel –being in another dimension and then suddenly coming back to the fact that you are not dead–and that you are alive. Most times this experience–this out of body experience makes you appreciate the time that you do have left to live and love others. You now have a full life.
Basically, this is what happened to me when I was so depressed I thought I was losing my mind, everything. I was living life but not on all six cylinders. Now, after coming out of my prison of depression and using the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps for my own recovery my life is no longer just a near-life experience-it is a full life filled with fellowship friends and hope.
Are you wishing for a full life, filled with hope and serenity? You can have it. As it says in the PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, #7 “We now have less concern about self and gain interest in others.”
Read about the full life that is available for you @ DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3RD EDITION (2013) .DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY.