Isolation

A Message to our Depressed Anonymous Fellowship. How are you doing?

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Today, is another day no different from all the rest. Staying isolated from friends and family . Being pulled apart from all those relationships which is what makes us social beings. Being isolated and missing meeting up with friends and our fellowship-except for our SKYPE and ZOOM meetings which are life savors for many of us).. Going to the market is a challenge. Unable to visit with friends in Nursing home. You don’t really appreciate something till it’s gone. I think I am in mourning. I am irritable and feel lost. But with you, who read our blog I know someone will be reading what is written here. I am not alone.

This brings me to another very important issue now that I am on the subject of being alone and isolated. And I don’t think about this issue very often, since life was rolling along fine until the virus put us in lockdown. When I was depressed I always talked about how depression felt like being in prison , isolated and alone. I grant that. But I knew little of what happens in the life of a prisoner, until we were allowed to start Depressed Anonymous groups in a State prison near our hometown.

It was an eye opener. I have visited prisons before. Short periods of time. Having a service for those who wanted to attend. This time it was different. This prison experience began with being interviewed by a prison staff, including the head psychiatrist. Our work would be carried out in a new wing in the prison which dealt specifically with prisoners with mental health issues. I say “our” because I had the good fortune to work closely with a woman corrections officer. I was there for about three years, with visits two times a week to attend DA meetings which we had set up. I remember well our first anniversary celebration where the warden allowed our fellowship to have a birthday party for all of those men who were part of our groups. It was a most unusual event as this had not been done before – having punch and cookies in prison, at least not in the wing where are groups are located.

Fast forward to now,2020. The covid-19 virus wreaking havoc on lives around the world. And now moving into prisons, nursing homes and other persons in institutional forced lockdown.

All this to share how I have been feeling blue, low mood, and irritable, and wondering it will end and when. Presently, areas of life are still “iffy” and not back to normal. I wonder if there will ever be a normal to go back to?

All this fear and hurt with so many elderly dying, and those of us who are over 65+ taking the hardest hit. But let me go on to my point and the reason I am writing this article now. My concern is for those men and women in this country, 80,000 or more who are locked down in Special Housing Units, also called “Solitary Confinement.” I have been reading an account of a man named William who has been in solitary confinement for 25 years and more at the time of his writing his story. His story and the story of so many others, is titled HELL IS A V ERY SMALL PLACE: STORIES FROM SOLITARY CONFINEMENT.

William speaks about how it was before he was sentenced to prison life. He mentioned the freedom that he had before prison – but no more. He could ride his bicycle, go out with buddies, walking in the park. Anything.

If you are depressed now. If you are isolated and cut off from life now. You can count me in. I am so weary of all this enforced isolation, the social distancing, the masks. But I do believe that these efforts may save my life. Will it ever return.? Will normal ever return – not for a time. That’s just my belief.

William, in Solitary Confinement for over 25 years, writes from his 6×9 cell, wonders the same thing. Will his life ever return to the way he remembers it? I doubt it. No, neither will ours. I am not being pessimistic just honest – but I am still hopeful that we will get through this.

I have been an advocate for persons depressed for most of my adult life. I have been to more places in the world, with persons I never would believe I would meet and who live in countries I have never been. All virtually, either on Skype, ZOOM, emails or phone.

I feel that there are so many men and women who we can reach out to who are in Solitary Confinement and deeply depressed. You and I can’t undepress anyone but ourselves, but being part of a fellowship sure gives me strength and bonding that I will never forget and the Twelve steps and the spiritual principles saved my life. . Thank you. Now that we have shared online how the virus has most dramatically affected our lives in so many painful ways, our confinement is in no way is kin to what 80,000 prisoners are experiencing right now in America.

What can we do. First of all I recommend that you find a way to learn more about people who are in Solitary. We can learn how to help them in ways that will truly be of most help to them. We can learn more. We can share our own experiences with Depressed Anonymous with prisoners and least give them the knowledge that they are NOT ALONE. We can be live advocates for those in Solitary, as we can share their stories how they live out their day in a VERY SMALL PLACE, for days. for months and for years. The name of their story is found in a recent publication titled “Hell is a very small place: voices from Solitary Confinement.” The New Press (2016) New York. London. Edited by Jean Casella, James Ridgeway and Sarah Shroud.

Here is a place where I hope you will contact: “About Solitary Watch” http:://solitarywatch.com/about. We can learn, we can share, we can act. I hope to do as much as I can in being an advocate. If you would like to join with me in this effort, a justice and human rights issue, let’s get together and work as one voice. A voice for the “voiceless.

If you are interested and want more info please write to me at : depanon@netpenny.net and in the subject line put SOLITARY.

Hugh

Fellowship, Journaling, Purpose, The 12 Steps

Recovery people delight in how they are becoming more assertive

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“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention. As we get into a discussion with other people who are depressed – much like ourselves – we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on their own behalf. These people who are doing better are also taking responsibility on their own behalf. Those   who are doing better are also talking about taking charge of their lives and doing things for  themselves   instead of constantly trying to please others.  In fact at DA meetings the  recovering people often delight at how assertive they are becoming now that they have gained a sense of recovery  over their lives. They are now committed to their own recovery.  People who want to change begin to swallow their pride and ask for help. They begin to   get in touch with their feelings and feel!  This is truth and this is getting in touch with one’s own best self.”

COPYRIGHT(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40241. (Page 91. Step Ten)

Acceptance, Mutual Aid

Am I a people pleaser?

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Am I a people pleaser? What would happen if we didn’t please them? Let’s take a look in our Depressed Anonymous Workbook and see what it suggests as an answer.

Has depression distorted us from the truth of life, namely, that life is to be lived with hope and serenity. Nursing along a good habit can in time wean us from old and debilitating habits of thought and behavior. We want to daily fill our day with the gratitude that we are indeed getting better and that the trust we have is indeed placed in the Higher Power.

In order for us to escape depression we need to begin to be aware of the process of how people change. That process for change is of the nature of a spiral instead of a straight line. In other words, now that we are willing to risk feeling differently we have been gearing up to improve our situation. In other words, we are making a very important decision right now about our lives.

Tomorrow we will see how changes are made, and a process that will make this happen. In time we will discover that making any decision in our lives , is doing something that we have never done before, like breaking our habit of trying to please people. There is always a risk. It feels very uncomfortable changing a behavior that we have always done before. But, there is a way to change. The support that you need is to be found here in the Depressed Anonymous online groups, the Home Study Program, and F2F meetings.

Choose support – not isolation, especially now when we all need someone to talk with, helping us get through these tough times. You will be happy that you did. Find help, love and acceptance. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

– Hugh

Resource

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, © Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville KY. (Page 41. Fourth Step Question 4.51.)

You can download this Workbook for $1.00 at https://depressedanonymous.org. (Visit the Store). The Basic Text is also $1.00. Get moving forward in hope and serenity – and fellowship worldwide.

Depressed Anonymous

I have realized that I was addicted to the self

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“As a person that has suffered depression since childhood, I can say that until you start to open up, share your hurts and feelings, listen to the members of the group, watch them as they grow from the support of the group, you will not be able to get out of your prison of depression. I have been going to Depressed Anonymous for four years and only until recently have I realized that I was addicted to the self. Only then did I start to take a good look at myself and start to ask God for his help and truly mean it. I am learning to trust God and do his will an not mine. I feel better about myself. I can tell you it is a lot easier to be depressed than it is to work on yourself and admit to yourself that there is a problem. It is God’s will for us to live each day to the fullest because our time is limited. Live each day, not yesterday or tomorrow. Share with the group and your friends and you will be surprised who will be glad to listen if you would give them a chance. Accept the fact that all of us at Depressed Anonymous are here to listen to you and not make judgments on you or give advice. Even if you don’t want to share, come to the meetings because you can always get something out of them. Eventually, you will want to share and the group will listen.”

Starr, who is a member of Depressed Anonymous , writing her PERSONAL STORY, is one of the many stories that are shared in (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) . Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 130.

Skype and Zoom meetings are online every day of the week. The following are a listing of persons to contact if you want more information.

Step 11

We do not become enlightened by imagining figures of light…

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“We do not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

Carl Jung

My reply to Jung’s statement is one of affirmation. I too believe, after these years of living the 12 Steps of recovery and sharing with members of our fellowship, alone and in meetings, that consciousness is the pathway to our “who I am” identity.

In Step Eleven we say that we

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”

Let me also remind  that those of us who have journeyed out of the darkness of depression, that we come out of this darkness with a new energy, a new resolve to live our lives with more circumspect and freedom.  And  paradoxically we come out with a resolve, almost a militancy of spirit, to bring others along with  us.

I have tried over the years to find one’s way out of the gloom and the doom, and that includes my own journey today.  It made me strong.  I  was given a gift, call it recovery. You and I who are on this amazing journey, have been blessed by giving our “here I am ” response.  We are sent out.  Our love and compassion  for those “still suffering”  is contagious.  From the telling of “how it was” is now the “how it is.” It is good.

Jung got it right!

(c) Hugh S.

Prayer, Step 03

Third step prayer

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For those of us participating in Depressed Anonymous online group meetings, here is a wonderful prayer that inspires us to bring hope to those still suffering.

“God I offer myself to You – to build with me and to do  with me as you will.  Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may I bear witness to those  I would help of  your Power, Your Love and Your Way of life. May I do Your will always.”

AA

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Meditation, Prayer

There is a direct linkage between self-reflection, meditation and prayer

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“There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related an interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life.” The Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions.

In Step Four of the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, we read from The Depressed Anonymous Workbook the following encouraging statement:

“By our daily conscious contact with God as we under stand God, I believe that my daily efforts at listening to my Higher Power’s word will help me focus in on where I need to change. I hope that my depression will always be examined the moment I feel down and blue for no apparent reason. If I slow down, take a pencil and write down what I have been thinking of lately, I do believe that my sadness will slowly evaporate – slowly like the early morning fog.

I will cast away my fears, guilt and resentments by getting them down on paper in front of me. On black and white.

Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2009) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 27. STEP FOUR

This Workbook can now be downloaded as an Ebook for $1.00 from the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore at www.depressedanon.com.

Offer lasts until the end of May. After that it will resume its price of $12.00.

12 Step Meeting, Isolation, Mutual Aid

I don’t have to be alone

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

…I had the conviction that a person depressed could find the same strength and serenity as did those who, sick and tired of being sick and tired, had found when they stumbled into their first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. It (Depressed Anonymous) began as a pilot project at the university where depressed people gathered as a mutual aid group. I discovered that people of all ages, beliefs, and occupations could gradually get out of the prison of depression if they were part of a support group, especially if the group followed the suggested Twelve Steps of the group now known as Depressed Anonymous. I saw that a Twelve Step program centered specifically around the subject of depression could help people escape isolation and the painful sense of hopelessness. They would no longer feel alone.

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous., 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky. Page 22.

NOTE: If you are tired of looking at the four walls during this time of Covid-19, we have help. If you are depressed and seeking relief, there are a number of places where you can go online for help. Depressed Anonymous now has a meeting everyday from 12:30PM (EST). This group is peer led, which means they have been depressed or using these Steps of recovery today to help maintain hope and healing in their lives today! These are excellent groups to attend to find help and hope. You can join and share your story or you can listen to the stories of others. Either way you will find the power at work in your own life.

There are now five scheduled DA ZOOM groups operating in the US and being made available to the Depressed around the world. These ZOOM groups with the SKYPE groups are ensuring that the message of HOPE continues to spread with it’s powerful message. Please join us if you are looking to free yourself from isolation.

We thank all of those who chair these meetings with such dedication and faithfulness. They are true witnesses to the “miracle of the group(s).”

Hugh

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Faith

Isolation and Covid-19 – We Offer Skype meetings – Check Our Past Posts On The Blog Here For More Info

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NOTICE: Whenever a blog post mentions an online meeting be sure to consult the page Online Depressed Anonymous Meetings for the most up to date and correct information. If the blog post is more than a few days old there is a chance it could be incorrect.

Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

In our basic text, Depressed Anonymous, one of the words that show up most frequently are the words, Isolation, trust and surrender. It is not surprising that the word isolation is at the top of the list. Isolation is one of those behaviors that can keep us in depression, alone, and deepening a mood of feeling hopeless.

With the corona virus causing death, terror among all people of the earth, it has also forced us to quarantine ourselves from everyone else. Our isolation, in this case, can save our life and keep us from getting infected and suffer a painful death.

Let’s say I am depressed already and isolating because of my need to withdraw from, family and friends and suffer with my pain alone. What do I do now? Who and what can help me? I am feeling desperate. I used to go to the market, the park and at least get out of my apartment. I could feel part of the world and the life around me. At least I had the knowledge that I could go out and be with others, without having to talk or even say hello. Now I feel like I’m all alone on a deserted island.

If you are depressed and reading this now, you can find help online at the Depressed Anonymous website www.depressedanon.com. There are also daily meetings of the group International Online Depressed Anonymous which hosts the meeting via SKYPE meeting at 12:30 pm (EST).

We hope that you can take advantage of these peer led 12 step meetings. I recommend them to you. Please come and join our fellowship. We are people with hope.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

For the fellowship.

Higher Thoughts for Down Days

I want to get my life back again

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AFFIRMATION

I will express my feelings in an  appropriate and reasonable manner.

…In different contexts I would describe   how I  construe  anger: To me it is a human response to frustration.  It is not essentially evil, but it is a facet of our civility and creativity. Our task in dealing with our anger is to inspect critically the sources of our frustration and to develop ways of expressing our anger is to inspect critically the sources of our frustrations and to develop ways of expressing our anger which are socially acceptable and creative.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

In my efforts, to find peace and sanity in my life, I am beginning to figure out a few things, namely., that if I want to get my life on track, I will  have to live by the principles of the spiritual program that we call Depressed Anonymous. In my doing the 4th and 5th Steps of the program, I am finding that, I must take an inventory of my character defects that have kept me from living with trust and hope in my daily life. The principles of the Twelve Steps are an assurance that my life can get better. The more  I work the Twelve Steps, the more that I must  develop in my life.

I need not declare that I will never get angry again–only that I will get  in touch with my feelings and express them appropriately. Once my anger is acknowledged, I hope in time, for my ability to forgive to grow and be expressed.

MEDITATION

We thank you, God, for your grace, a gift to be sure. We don’t have to be the most perfect ones to achieve it. We know it is from you  that we receive the courage to live our  lives in a more hopeful and serene manner.

RESOURCE
Copyright(c)  Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts   and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups.  Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky. Page 73.

 

NOTE:  Higher Thoughts and other  selections   can be ordered online.

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Hope is just a few steps away!