Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Let’s Get Real – The “Snap Out Of It” Advice Doesn’t Get It!

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Let’s get real!  How often do we hear people who’ve   never been depressed  tell people depressed to just “snap out” of their depression? Answer? Too many times.

In our Manual,   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition  we read  “I don’t believe you can snap out of your depression, or suddenly   and dramatically get your life turned around by going to one Depressed Anonymous meeting, or reading the  12 steps  five times an hour. It just doesn’t happen that way, especially if you have lived with  your depression for any length of time. Even though we  emphasize  that  depression is not a disease, we do want you to know that depression over a long period of time can cause physical problems and upset the metabolism of the human organism. More and more, doctors see how  positive feelings, attitudes and emotions can help cancer patients maintain a remission and stay free of a recurring cancer condition. Unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, tension and depression all work against recovery.

I would call the sadness  that  has  been with us for as long as we can remember,  a learned way to respond to certain negative stimuli. What you will be doing when you come to a Depressed Anonymous meetings is to get involved in your own healing. You will find other men and women who are struggling with the same pain as you are. You will discover that the first step in coming to grips with depression that won’t  quit is for you to surrender it,  quit fighting it.  Let the God, as you understand God  take over your life and help let it restore you to sanity, peace and understanding of the way in which you can find the path  out of your depression and pain. Depressed Anonymous works if you begin the work of the spiritual program that we’re going to outline in this book.  Depression is a moral problem and as such there needs to be a moral solution,  one part of which is to admit that we are responsible for ourselves and that we can’t blame it on genes, psychological predispositions or one’s spouse or some other situation.  We are going to take charge. We choose to un-depress ourselves. Today! One day at a time!

…But let me warn you — it isn’t easy to do something different from what you have been doing  most of your life. This is especially true when it comes to the way we see ourselves, our world and others. There are no magic pills and no easy answers to bring us immediately out of this inner pain and anguish. It does take time and work.

If you really want to leave behind your painful sadness, the daily tears, and the feelings of worthlessness, then begin now to admit the unmanageable mess of your depression. You have had it with feeling out of control!

That’s the way it is with depression – over the years you get comfortable with feeling miserable, which doesn’t mean you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk doing something different. When you want to change and leave your depression behind, the choice that you want to make is immediately dashed to the ground because you  feel there is no hope for you. “I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to feel better,” you tell yourself. Most the time, we tell ourselves that we will do it when we feel better. (See reference to” I’ll do it when I feel better”   below). Folks, let me tell you something – you will never feel better until  you begin to physically get moving! We all know that we feel better only when we get into gear and get busy – distracting ourselves  from those ever present miserable  thoughts which whisper how bad we are and how hopeless life seems to be.”

_______________________________________________________

SOURCES: (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pgs. 31-32.

(c) I’ll will do it when I feel better. (2015) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002)(Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DEPRESSION AND THE HEALING POWER OF THE 12 STEPS.

ALSO LEARN HOW TO USE THE HOME STUDY KIT FOR YOUR  PERSONAL RECOVERY PLAN OF ACTION!

Faith, Hope

The Rabbit who made our Easter special!

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Our Easter Rabbit  made his first appearance on Easter Sunday in 2015. He showed up early Easter morning in our back yard as we waited for our four  grandchildren to arrive for their annual Easter egg hunt. Now this was not one of those fancy chocolate Easter bunnies, all shrink wrapped  in  gold foil, whose presence you see in all the stores readied for sale before Easter Sunday.   No, this bunny  was very much alive. My wife and I were both happily shocked to see him. There he was, nestled in the green spring grass, like  he was waiting for the annual hunt  to start.

How did the bunny know it was his day?  This day all Christians celebrate Resurrection day. We know that  rabbits and eggs  have traditionally been part and parcel of the Easter feast. It appeared that not only had  we all the eggs, children egg hunters readied to the hilt with their baskets, but we had our special guest, our very own Easter rabbit.  It was quite a day for all of us. The rabbit  was unaware of his special status I am sure.

Now fast forward one year later to the year  2016, our bunny showed up one day before Easter. We had been talking about him earlier in the week and wondering if he would come again. Yes,  here he was again. Wow! This time  he showed up a day before Easter…could he be following a different calendar? It was like seeing an old friend come home again. Maybe he just wanted to make sure he was at the right place, and  on time.

Now it is Easter morning, 2017 when  we went to our back yard performing our annual ritual of placing eggs all around, and confidently expecting our Easter rabbit to be joining us this Easter as well. Sorry to say, he was a no show. No Easter Rabbit this year.  And so we were very  saddened. What made us think he would be here this Easter as well? Expectations are many times based on all that has happened before. If he made it on Easter two times before it seemed like he could surely make  again this Easter. The odds were in our favor. Maybe he forgot, we thought, as he was usually here either on Easter day itself  or at least before.   Oh well. maybe next year we thought.   We’ll have to wait for Easter  2018. We had high expectations.

Then yesterday, just a day after Easter, who shows up in our yard? Yep, you guessed it.  A spontaneous joyful shout went up from our daughter and her friend–when we heard her scream “Our Easter bunny is here! Our Easter bunny is here!”  And like magic  there he was hopping, back and forth, with a spring in his hop,  through our yard, from one end to the other. In a way it was like he was saying, “did you miss me?”

Not only did we miss him, we expected him to be here on Easter. So what if he was a day late–he showed up. We know that he will always be our special Easter rabbit. For our family, he continues to be   our special gift on Easter Sunday, the day before,  the day after, or whenever.

Hope for us is that he will be back next year. We just know, believe and expect that he’ll be here.

Life is much like our bunny.  Sometimes when we hope for things to turn out the way we wish, it works out that way. And then sometimes , when we feel shaky inside, when we begin to feel a little doubt creep into our soul, that is when our expectations for something good to happen shut down. Somehow, our lives have received a precious gift, the gift of expecting a miracle, such as  our Easter rabbit’s continued  annual appearance at Easter…on, before or after.   We knew  at some level that he would return –we just knew he would come back.  We looked for him and here he was. Believe. Expect, don’t give up. Hope. We never want to let doubt cloud our hopes  and expectations from coming true.  Each new day can brings us closer to what we hope for. Live in hope. Just believe that your dreams will come true.

Hugh

 

Uncategorized

I want to be free more than I want to be safe!

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AFFIRMATION

I want to risk being in charge of my life today. No one can really make me feel a certain way unless I allow them to.

“Some of  the new things you do on your journey out of the prison of depression will be pleasant and involve a little risk. Some of the new things  will be risky, for they will challenge our greatest fear.

Being depressed for so long for many sufferers had been a long journey – a journey of living through the many passages that is hell itself. These passages always end up leading through other passages just as isolating and dead – end like all the rest.

I want to risk today so that I will be able to discover what it is that I need to do to live with hope and some healing. My greatest fear is my own fear of  being annihilated and reduced to a cipher. I know that my greatest hope is that I will be able to endure whatever it is that I need to endure.

In my movement away from depression with all its sadness I now choose something different today as I risk the chance of injury to my self respect or my ego. I will not fear what comes because I want to be free more than I want to be safe.”

Meditation

God, give us the right to trust that you will truly lead us into freedom by our daily actions of courage and our willingness to step  out to be our best friend and assert our right to live on this earth with everyone else. (Personal comments)

SOURCES:  Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily meditations and thoughts for members of 12 step fellowship groups. (1989, 1996 ).  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages  76 to 77.

Depressed Anonymous, third edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

The  Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2016). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

I’ll do it when I feel better. (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION. ONLINE ORDERING IS ALSO AVAILABLE.

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

A potent means of recovery

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The Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous. The Depressed Anonymous recovery program was modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous. which was originally developed  to help men and women deal with their addiction to alcohol one day at a time. The Twelve Steps have been found to be  a potent means of recovery for those who desire to free  themselves from their compulsions. The Twelve Steps are basically a program of letting go of our compulsions and handing over our will to the care of God, as we understand God. Essentially, our program is a Step by Step way to change not only our addiction, but our way of life. Change happens when we choose to change. The fellowship of the group and our desiring to make changes in our life is what provides our life-giving  spiritual experience. Most people  get organized religion and spirituality mixed up. Depressed Anonymous achieves strength from spirituality without set creed, dogma or doctrine. All the program asks of a person who come to the meetings is only to have a sincere desire to stop the compulsion of saddening themselves.

We make no apologies for our faith in a God that can restore us not only to sanity, but to serenity and joy as well.

“We never apologize for God. Instead, we let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.” Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

SOURCES: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 162.

(c)  Believing is seeing: 15 Ways to leave the prison of depression (2016) Hugh Smith, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (1986, 2013) 2nd edition. Hugh Smith . Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

 

Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

How Depressed Anonymous works!

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  This statement is read it every depressed anonymous meeting.

“You are about to witness the miracle  of the group. You’re joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how  hope, light,  and  energy have been regained by those who are hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better.

 We are not the people with the magic pills and the  easy formulas for success. We believe that  to get out of the prison of depression we believe that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

We have all been wounded in different degrees by the experience of depression. We also know that there is a method to regain control over our lives that is practical and workable. It is successful for all those who want to change their lives. We once believed that there was no hope and that suicide was the only way out.

In this natural world one of the first laws is  that all  growth is gradual – that belief is the bottom line for all of us who are depressed, and who want to get better. The more we attend meetings, the more we will learn and see the various ways to escape depression. We also learned how important it is not to give up on ourselves.”

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Source: Copyright (c). Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Louisville, Kentucky.

 

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope, Journaling, Love, The 12 Steps

Being depressed means isolation

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How do I know if I’m depressed?

“Being depressed means isolation – and being cut off from everybody and everything.  It is like being in prison, like a pit where the walls are like soft clay and I cannot climb out. To me the isolation is pre-hell and often I feel so dead inside.  There is an awful feeling, that hole in my soul which is like a clenched fist.   I don’t know where to turn with all the pain and hurt. I can’t imagine anyone hurts the way I do and I hope no one does. I would never want to inflict this pain on anyone, so I tried to hold it inside and it seems like it’s too much to bear, especially alone. This is where Depressed Anonymous comes in – this is where powerlessness and God come in. There was no one to help, even to try to understand before Depressed Anonymous. No one wanted my pain  and others started  to avoid me.  I understand better now, especially since I’ve been around Depressed Anonymous via Hugh and the book Depressed Anonymous,3rd edition and the journaling I’ve done. My hope is that I will be more at peace and will try to use the  specific tools which continue to be  great helps in overcoming depression while  giving me  hope —  just for today.”

Source:  Mary C, Sterling Heights, Michigan.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Visit the Store for more information on Depression and the use of the 12 Steps.

People Pleasing

The joys of approval seeking

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“I  have  observed that many depressed persons, including myself,  are given to approval seeking, some more so than others. It seems fair to call it a kind of emotional dependency. The children are truly and completely dependent on their parents, or whoever is taking  care of them. They have no choice and are helpless. They’d  better have their parents approval or else.

Some of these children carry this kind of dependency right on into adulthood , even to their graves unless they  do the hard work of unlearning it. They have become so unsure of themselves, their opinions, thoughts and skills, that they feel  an imperative urge  to hurry to get someone’s   approval that  they are  doing the right thing and that they are still okay.

When we, the former children,  reach physical maturity, we find that people  soon resent those who become dependent on them. They often become contemptuous of them – leaners, clinging vines, etc.  We literally drive them away from us with our constant demand for reassurance, hanging onto them, and begging them to throw us a few crumbs of approval now  and then. We become fearful of asserting ourselves at all for fear of retaliating,  such as outright ridicule, not being given a seat around the campfire, the doghouse,  prolonged  silent treatment,  or  stopping cooking, etc. How can we avoid this treatment? Please them more, of course? Hardly. That brings only more contempt.

What will become of us? We will spend our lives doing what others want us to do. Not what we want to do. If it gets bad enough, we will have feelings of total worthlessness and self-loathing. Some will reach the point where they would rather die than to continue living with that yoke around their neck.

You can free yourself from this fetter, but it’s really tough depending how bad you are addicted. It will take  determination and sustained effort.  I mean, it’s worth it to finally breathe the air of freedom. And, you gave it to yourself. Start with a proven self-help program like our mutual aid program of Depressed Anonymous.

I include some words by Lao  Tzu, 500 BC, who wrote the  TAO TE CHING.

“Care about people’s approval

and you will be their slave.

 

Must you value what others value

and avoid what they avoid?

How ridiculous!

 

When  you are content to be simply yourself

and don’t compare our compete

everybody will respect you. “okay

Article submitted by Bob P.,  of Evansville, Indiana, who is a founding member of Depressed Anonymous and one whose  friendship and thinking I cherish.  Hugh S.

SOURCE:  SPRING ISSUE OF THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET, 1995.

 

 

DA Literature, Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness

Today I want to keep the focus on myself

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AFFIRMATION

Today, I’m going to keep the focus on myself and I aim to take responsibility for myself.

“… There is one great advantage about seeing yourself as helpless and in the power of others.  You don’t have to be responsible for yourself. Other people make all the decisions and when things turn out badly you can blame other people. And things always turn out badly. That’s why you always expect the worst.”

REFLECTION

It is when I no longer blame others for my problems that I begin to see that how I turn out is ultimately up to me. My happiness or unhappiness depends on the choices that I make. No one needs to feel sorry for me any longer because I am depressed. I know that I am responsible for me and that I have made the decision to get myself undepressed and to stay undepressed.

It’s most difficult to make decisions when I have hardly the energy to get out of bed in the morning. It’s always difficult to choose one way or the   other because in the past, most of my decisions have usually resulted in failure. Today and everyday I will make the decisions to learn all I can about the various ways that I use the 12 step tools of recovery  to release myself from my hopelessness.

MEDITATION

We now have hope that our expectations will come true for ourselves as we begin   to take responsibility for ourselves.

___________________________________________________________________________

Source: Copyright (C) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 64.

HIGHER THOUGHTS IS AVAILABLE ON THE KINDLE  eREADER.

Visit the store for more information on Depressed Anonymous literature.

Mindfulness

Today is all that I have

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Being mindful and being present  in the moment is a real discipline that is hard to acquire. Most times we are thinking about yesterday or we are thinking about tomorrow.  It is very difficult  to stay in the present and to be aware and mindful of our environment, our feelings and what is right in front of us.

That is why saying the Serenity Prayer is so important  for each of us in recovery.  We are  to be mindful of the possibilities and the potential of how we can change.  At one time we felt this  was an impossible task.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I think with the reality of depression engulfing and imprisoning our thoughts day after day, we believed that there was no way out. That is why I have always maintained that to leave  the prison of depression takes time, work and I might add, discipline.  I would also like to add another point, that in the midst of all of this, we definitely  need to choose  to be positive,  as much is this is possible,  and to find ways to overcome  the debilitating experience of depression.

What I’m talking about here is how we need to take responsibility for our present situation  and get busy looking at the various avenues that may provide us healing.

Many times people depressed because of the intolerable pain that accompanies the sadness look for the easier and more comfortable way to escape.  I think we all know what those ways end up being. Most of the time, at least in the beginning of my depression experience, I tried to think my way out the box that I was in. Of course, this is like the dog chasing its tail. I always ended up at the same place at where I started.

For me, knowing that it was either do or die, stay depressed or get better. So, I made a decision  to get better. And after a year and a half of taking responsibility for my physical  and mental health, I gradually walked out of the fog which   made my life miserable, and that  coupled  with the false belief   that I would never get better.

By being mindful of the continued possibility that I just might get better, I found this to be  validated by people that I came to know  as members of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship. It was at every meeting  where I heard positive,  constructive, and hopeful stories from folks who had  gradually worked themselves out  of the prison of depression.  Granted,  sometimes, we heard stories from those who are new to our program, who had been shamed by family members, friends who told them  that it was all in their head –  namely, blaming them for not being able to quote “snap out of”  the mental paralysis that had them by the throat. It’s like  people were telling them  that all they had to do was to think positive thoughts, or say a prayer, and presto! the debilitating pain would disappear.  Instead of saying things to support the depressed person, the depressed person was stigmatized  for being depressed. It was almost like they were saying we like being depressed. It was like saying we were lazy and  that’s why we were depressed. Most people never have a clue what we go through–or go through when depressed.

Finally, that is why a group such as Depressed Anonymous is such a viable fellowship  where folks  can  come  and learn   how to use the tools for escaping the life-threatening reality  called depression.  Actually,  Depressed Anonymous, is a peer to peer group of people  who all share in the pain of depression  as well as   use the tools to work themselves out of the problem.  We are no longer alone. We are given the pathways on how to find serenity,  hope and fellowship. We all know how isolating ourselves from others turns out to be one of the major causes  of deepening  the pain of depression and for some  to take their own lives.

If you are looking for a solution for your life and a way of out of depression you need to take a look at what we have to offer. We offer hope and a step by step program of recovery. ..plus what is most need, a fellowship where folks like you and me no longer are alone.

Depressed Anonymous has produced a book where our recovery program is outlined step by step for climbing out of the  prison of depression. Please Visit the Store here at our site for  information about literature offered. One can order online.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.

 

 

 

Hope is just a few steps away!