I’ll do it when I feel better.

One of the many ways that we rationalize and make excuses is to put off what needs to be taken care of today. You don’t put off  today  from taking care of what could be a life threatening illness  or disease tomorrow.  We all have said to ourselves, “I’ll do it when I feel better.” This procrastination is also operative in those of us who want to wait a little  longer before we see the dentist, for example, or get a check up for  an unrelenting stomach ache and for whatever  else that may  ail us.

The same with depression and its ongoing symptoms of anxiety, fatigue, constantly ruminating  about all the bad things that have happened to us or all the things we feel shame and /or guilt about. These negative feelings just never seem to end.  One solution is just to stay in bed, pull the sheets  over our head and sleep. We then say to ourselves, “I’ll get help when I have the energy and when I begin to feel better.”

I know all about this procrastination business and this interminable sadness that had me by the throat that  it was only until I became worried enough to do something about it, that I got moving.

In our book “I’ll do it when I feel better” published in 2014, that I give a  look at some of the ways we can get busy today, to do something about our lethargy, constant negative thinking, and total lack of physical activity. All this is undergirded by the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous. It is when we realize  we are part of something bigger than ourselves that we can finally quit rolling the stone up the hill like Sisyphus in the legend of old. The way to get ourselves out a  hole is to stop digging!

 

SOURCES: I’ll do it when I feel better.(2014)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

I’m depressed! Now what do I do?

Hello

If you happened to land on our Depressed Anonymous site here on the Internet and you think you are depressed, we have some thoughts to share with you.

First of all, we welc0me you.It’s not easy to admit that something is happening in our body and it is not getting better. What is it? Well, it has been over thirty years ago that I experienced those same feeling —  gradually losing control over how I felt and finding myself  sliding slowly down a slippery slope. I didn’t have a clue of what was happening to me. It was as if I could see myself, in slow motion, losing my grip on anything to hang onto. I couldn’t get enough sleep; lost weight; bashed myself continually for past personal situations that ended up badly in my life; lost girlfriend; guilt and shame filled my thoughts, every day and every hour. I think you get the picture.

And with all these negative emotions running through my  veins –wouldn’t this bring any body down? And I was down.

Thank God, I already  had begun a 12 Step program of recovery three years prior (for another addiction)  to this experience with depression and I knew it had the power to help me out of this depression prison that I had  me locked down.

Then I made  a  decision and admitted I had a problem and needed  to act quickly or my sadness would completely put me down and out. I started walking five miles every day for weeks hoping this would take  away this interminable jitteriness and anxiety that was keeping me less  able to function. I knew that I couldn’t lose my job. But I couldn’t get out of bed as well. So, walking was a solution that I settled on. I would have to see a Doctor  if the pain didn’t stop. In time it did stop. I came to believe that a Power greater than myself would restore me to sanity. I made a decision to do something. I knew if I moved the body, my mind would follow. For the past year my mind, body   had been stuck in “park.”

Did  I get better? Yes. And then I became a member of Depressed Anonymous and told people how the Steps can help one get better with the Steps and the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous.

By studying the Steps and reading the literature everyday, I finally understood what the depression experience will do to our relationships, our mind and our  physical body. The one great advantage for me was the fact that I could talk to people just like myself. It takes one to know one. To have friends who neither put me down, or who thought I was crazy,  or told me just to “snap out of it” was a  great healing for  me.

Slowly the mental fog lifted and I began to feel like my old cheerful self as I   began to live in the freedom of  that Power greater than myself who was now at the center of my life.

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 SOURCES: (C) Depressed Once-Not Twice (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 

 

Mutual aid as integral part of the 12 Step recovery program

 

The other day I was taking my grandchildren to a children’s amusement center here at home. My oldest grandchild ( 13 years) has an IPhone with a GPS(Global Positioning System) integrated with his phone. So, as we were traveling along on our way to our destination, he points out to me that his GPS indicated we were going the  wrong way. Alas, I turned off the road,  turned the car around and headed in the direction of the children’s amusement center-just as the GPS directed me.

Not too long ago I came in contact with a captivating and insightful work by a Russian author who  described how everything in the natural world, human, animal and  plant life is able to survive because of mutuality among its  species. As many  believe, it is only by the  survival of the fittest that ensures ones survival in the natural world. It is this fact, according to Darwin, which  makes  it possible for its members to survive the struggle between individual members for the means of existence.

Peter  Kropotkin, who was a Russian Prince and an anarchist had these  important words to share about his belief in mutual aid among all species. In the foreword to his work on Mutual Aid the editor tells us how Kropotkin

 drew on his experiences in scientific expeditions in Siberia to illustrate the phenomenon of cooperation. After examining the evidence of cooperation in nonhuman animals, “savages,” “barbarians,” in medieval cities, and in modern times, he concludes that cooperation and mutual aid are as important in the evolution of the species as competition and mutual strife, if more so.

It was in reading this masterful work, Mutual aid: A Factor of Evolution, which was written over a 100 years ago, and all  based on scientific observations in  the real world that Professor Kessler, the  a well known Russian zoologist, in an address  (1880)  to Russian naturalists who is said to have understood the full importance of Mutual Aid as a  law of Nature. The following is part of  that lecture:

I obviously do not deny the struggle for existence, but I maintain that the progressive development of the animal kingdom, and especially of mankind, is favored much more by mutual support than by mutual struggle…All organic beings have two essential needs: that of nutrition, and that of propagating the species. The former brings them to a struggle and to mutual extermination, while the needs of maintaining the species bring them to approach one another and to support one another.  But I am inclined to think that in the evolution of the organic world  — in the progressive modification of organic beings –mutual support among individuals plays a much more important part than their mutual struggle.

I have written all this today just to arouse  the reader’s interest in the power of mutual aid to form viable, supportive   communities–while struggle for survival works against itself and  community formation with self serving individual concerns,  which may lead to more divisiveness and fragmentation in established societies and communities.

In our day,  the “selfies”  mentality mirrors a trend in our societies where the individual now stands like a nomad  in a desert, without  reference points to  past societal traditions which gave value and meaning to one’s life.  Familial breakdown, loss of traditional religious beliefs, migration, poverty and the disappearance of tribal and national customs gradually erase connections between peoples that were formerly in place  providing  support and a sense of security and trust  for the life of the individual and the  community where they lived. 

This leads us to a brief discussion on the importance of the  establishment of mutual aid groups, support groups in our society today.  Mutual aid group members are an integral part of a community where there is fellowship, support and mutuality. When   one member suffers, all members suffer with them and support them. No one suffers alone. No one is an isolated individual who swims alone in today’s  modern cultures of individual competition and struggle.

Amazing as it is, the 12 Steps have brought to us a way out of our isolation and a way into a supportive community and mutuality. Truly, these groups  promote the belief that everyone is equal in the fellowship — mutuality lived out in the real world–and all members of the group come together to serve each other with hope. The mutual aid given to each other in the group provides a dynamic positioning of one’s life so as to  live life with each other with hope and love. One has  a concern for the welfare of all just  as one’s own welfare becomes the concern of all.

Hugh

___________________________________________________________

SOURCE: Mutual Aid: A factor of evolution. Peter Kropotkin. (1902, 2008) Forgotten Books. Org.

 

Happiness is a side product of helping others

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I always wondered –how can I possibly bring peace to others when I feel so low and down in the mouth? It is my wish to help others who are still suffering and living without the hope of ever feeling better. It is by doing what I have to do every day and living today for all its worth, that I will be able to stay in the now and try to change my moods as they start their usual spiral downward. I believe that ‘Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.’ Thus, I can help others.

Happiness is the side product of my letting go of my self and thinking of some larger effort or goal in my life. It is in setting a goal to work on my self just for today, that I get in contact with my Higher Power and listen to his promptings. I am happiest when I am able to live with hope that possibly, just possibly, my life has a purpose and a meaning.”

MEDITATION
We ask God to point out to us where our areas of self-will lie so that they might be brought to light. We can work on them and get rid of them as these areas block us from our serenity and growth in happiness. We again want to turn our lives and our wills over to you God.


SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993,1999, 2016).Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

What you seek will seek you.

HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY/JULY 12th

AFFIRMATION

I want serenity and pray for it today. I locate the ways that I can risk just for this one day.

“…everything that I need I get — and when I get what I need I invariably find that it was just what I wanted all the time.” Depressed Anonymous

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

This truth works out in my life the more I follow and work my program of the Twelve Steps of recovery. When I admitted that I was powerless over my depression and that my life was unmanageable, I began to come across people and the literature that I needed to work myself out of my depression. I had to take the next step and come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. I began to believe that I can get better. I can choose to feel a little better today. I am able to risk living just for today, and not in the fear that tomorrow I’ll probably feel like my old awful self once again. “What you seek will seek you.”

MEDITATION

God, you didn’t create us to live in this continual fear and anxiety. You created us to find the joy and serenity that can be ours if we continue to search out and follow your will for us. From this day forward, we refuse to tolerate this sense of despair in our lives, but instead do something about it. Lead us on God, to what we need for today. We trust that you will.”

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON/KINDLE. VISIT THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS BOOKSTORE HERE AND ORDER ONLINE, TODAY!


SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Take your spiritual vitamin and energizer wherever you go by making Higher Thoughts for Down Days available on your AMAZON /KINDLE, each day and everyday.

A victim in my own eyes

Continued from July 10th’s blog

 

” I am finding out that my life is not as horrible as I’ve made it out to be. I used to tell myself that since it happened before, it will happen again– and that simply is not true.  Yes, my past was horrible and it’s no wonder I ended up with depression.  I want out of it and the only person to get me out is me.  There is not a magic wand to transport you to  the life you want. Everyone knows what they wish their life could be like –so do it! Make the changes you have to make, trust in God and always remember that good things come to those who wait. I’ve waited  over half my life. I don’t have to be a victim of my past or of my mind anymore. I’m more than ready for the good things! With love and hope!

Signed: A Depressed Anonymous member writing in:

DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3RD EDITION.  DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. LOUISVILLE. PAGES,120-121. (PERSONAL STORIES SECTION  #9/31).

 

VISIT THE STORE for much more literature on the  12 steps as tools to overcome one’s depression. Order online or snail mail.

“…but I feel better and for the first time in 14 years, I have hope.”

  A VICTIM IN MY OWN MIND.

Depression was something I grew up with. I really had no idea that I had it until my Senior year in college.  It started with my parent’s divorce and ended with me totally losing control over everything in my life. I couldn’t decide what career I wanted, but hated every job I could think of. I couldn’t decide what city or state to live in, so I kept moving, hoping that the next place I lived in  would make me happy. Eventually, I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to live or to die.  I cried at the  drop of a hat, but still found enough rage inside to push the people I loved as far away from me as possible.

I knew that I needed help. I had been to counselors on three other times in my life, but nothing ever seemed to work or last. This time, I have been in counseling for about two months. I was sick and tired of being like this. I wanted a life and I wanted to be happy. Every week, someone would notice a change in me, but I still felt the same. Then one day while watching TV (thinking thoughts at 100 mph), it occurred to me that I was making myself miserable.

I had always known that I was hard on myself. I reamed myself every time something bad happened. “Why can’t I find someone to love me“? “Why isn’t God looking after me?”  But for some reason, when I realized that I was doing this to myself, it made me realize that maybe all I would have to do is to stop doing it. All of  a sudden, it made sense. ”

To be concluded tomorrow.__________________________________________

Quoted from PERSONAL STORIES in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 120 -121.

 

” If I tell myself negative thoughts,  I feel negative. If I tell myself nothing, I feel nothing. So if I tell myself positive thoughts, eventually I’ll have to feel positive.

Of course, I’m still testing it out, but I feel better and for the first time in 14 years, I have hope.  It’s not that hard to find something positive about myself or my life now. So I remind myself of  something positive every day and that’s what I’m going to do until I don’t have to remind myself anymore because I’ll know.”

 

 

 

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our creator

“We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness.  Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith  means courage.  All men/women of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let him demonstrate through us , what He can do. We ask him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At. once, we commence to outgrow fear.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, page 68.

“…LOOKING CLOSELY AT MY EARLY LIFE…”

A Higher Thoughts for Down Days- June 30th.

AFFIRMATION

I am beginning to see that looking closely at my early life does, in fact, help me discover the reasons for some of my sadness today. With time and persistence I am going to live with even more hope and serenity.

“Then, too, damaging emotional conflict persists below the level of consciousness, very deep, sometimes quite forgotten. Therefore, we should try hard to recall and review the past events which originally induced these conflicts and which continue to give our emotions violent twists, thus discoloring our personalities and altering our lives for the worse.”  Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, in  As Bill Sees It.

REFLECTION

It is always a good idea to look at our lives and see how we have changed one way or the other over the years.  Sometimes I hope to write down as much as I can remember every year of my life. I will start today and if there is a parent or some significant other that can  help explain missing portions of my early life , then this will be a great asset in getting to know myself.  The more missing pieces that I can put together, including the oft-repeated phrases told to me as I was young, these can be an immense help in discovering who I am and why I am the way I am today.

I know all about conflict as this is often the genesis of my depression in that I have two conflicting wishes warring with each other. The greatest conflict is in myself and the way I see myself and the way I would like to see myself.

MEDITATION

God, help us find our lost memories from childhood. Let them surface gently when they can do the most good for us..

SOURCE:  Higher Thoughts for Down Days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowships. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. A Higher Thought for June 30. Page 130.

VISIT THE STORE and order online Higher Thoughts which is now   available on KINDLE. For information on other Depressed Anonymous  Publications please Visit the Store.

Hope is just a few steps away!