Category Archives: Depressed Anonymous

Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity

“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the  universe.  Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our lives. That is the paradox of the Twelve Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions, the freeer we in reality become.

This new belief will in time give us the power to think about risking life without having to be dead sure of what the next moment will bring. It appears that when we are depressed, we are so sure that since everything in the past has been bad so should everything be in the future. You just expect everything to turn ut badly. So, the tomorrows never look very good to us. We need therefore to live in the now and it is when we surrender to the Higher Power that we finally begin to feel a safety we never felt before.”

SOURCE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pg. 43.

Comment:  This is the Second Step of the Twelve Steps, the  spiritual principles that guide the lives of those  of  us who are in recovery. The Steps are the guides that   promote our personal peace and hope.  They are like a ladder that lead us  to   a higher level of living,  while at the same time leading  us to others just like ourselves.

I know that for some who come into our program of recovery feel a bit squeamish about turning their lives over to some Higher Power.  In Step Three, the Higher Power is defined as the God of our understanding–who we understand God to be. No matter what one’s religious beliefs might be or not be, we have this Power who we can turn to and to whom we can surrender our daily lives.  We just know that we can’t defeat our problem alone but need the  help of God, a Higher Power.  The Depressed Anonymous fellowship is there to help us in our journey out of our depression.  Their own lives and healing is in itself a power which can inspires us to continue on our journey as we work through the Steps and continue to hope. And by listening to the stories of others who are on the same path as our own and finding healing in their stories,   we  can tell ourselves that there must “be hope for me as well.”

An excellent work titled A MEDLEY OF DEPRESSION STORIES, by Debra Sanford, published in 2017, ( ISBN 978-1974499601)  will provide a wealth of hope for you as you accompany them in their personal stories out of the darkness of their own depression. They show us how the God of their understanding and the fellowship of DA all come together to give them back their lives of hope and happiness.

Also, you can read  inspirational stories of recovery in Depressed Anonymous, in the Personal Stories section of the book.  Both books would be great gifts to those of your family or friends who are looking for help.

Hugh

I saw a lonely bird this morning sitting by itself on my backyard fence

I want to share my reflections that I had this morning during my quiet time. As the eastern sky filled the horizon with the light of a morning sun my attention rested upon the silent figure of a bird alone on my backyard fence. It was motionless. Even though many of my backyard friends already were out and about my solitary bird continued to remain  motionless as if it was in a deep trance.

Why I thought  was this bird sitting all alone this morning? Usually, at least it was my understanding that  that animals, insects and  all other four legged and two legged creatures liked to stick together. You can count us in this category as well. We are all pretty much social  creatures.

I must guess that even the hermit crab isn’t a hermit 24/7. But not knowing much about hermit crabs I would think they have some sort of gratifying social life. What do you think. Maybe someone reading this could shed some light  on this matter. Thanks in advance.

Now back  to this lonely bird. How do I know it’s lonely.  I don’t,  but seeing a bird that usually is pretty busy in the morning, got my attention this morning. Was the bird sad? Not feeling well? Just isolating himself to try and get his head together? Beats me as there is nothing wrong in trying to at least think about what’s up with this bird.

Is our friend the lonely bird ending up this morning in that closed system which is  depression. Let’s be honest here. One of the areas of my own depression was the way I talked to myself.  My thinking was my problem. My thinking changed the way I felt and the way I was feeling influenced my moods, and my moods influenced directly my behavior. And possibly I could venture to say that my friend this morning mimicked my own life when I was depressing myself. My thinking began to isolate me as I tried to figure out the reasons I was  depressed. But most of all my negative thinking, hour after hour, day after day all came with these  deep and sad feelings attached to them.

I guilted myself time and again with my irrational thinking so that  my whole physical  self began to shut down. I felt all alone, helpless and hopelesss.  I thought I was all alone. And  I just wonder if this bird this morning was feeling the same things I was feeling. All alone with no one to befriend him or understand.

As we continue to sort out, and separate the various areas of our lives, that  is, our depression symptoms, we find that if we can put effort into looking at the way we think, which decidedly  influences all our behaviors, we can pry open and gain entrance to the hidden source, with the other negative symptoms, such as the way we feel, think,  and  these areas (symptoms) taken as one piece, we find constructs  the way we live out our lives. We are alone and we are  isolated from any social life that would bring us into contact with others.

We know that  this symptom of irrational thinking gradually pushes us  deeper down into the direction of despair. Sometimes completing suicide. We want  to get off the fence of indecision, seek help for our mistaken beliefs about our self, again that is  feeling worthless, self bashing, feeling we are a failure, losing a  love, all these thoughts and feelings. All these   need to be brought out into the open and shared.

By examining the way we think, preferably in a group of persons just like ourselves there are those persons and others like them,  who are found at every Depressed Anonymous meeting. For me the best way to break out of this deadly closed system of depression is to get off the fence and begin to open up your life  to those who are now no longer alone, no longer living in fear, no longer imprisoned by the way they  live, think and feel.

I hope that you might find help in the Depressed Anonymous Home Study kit where you will be able to find your mind and heart motivated to open up, examining areas of your life , looking at yourself square in the face,   discovering  and using the tools which can  set you free.

Hugh

Discovering the closed system of depression with its multiple entry points – locating the chinks in the armor

The closed system of depression with its multiple entry points. (chinks in the armor).

A previous entry or blog spoke about the various entry points of depression symptoms and how they all act together to form a syndrome. Basically, a syndrome is a number of symptoms occurring together characterizing a specific disease or condition. For us, and those of us who may be depressed, this is an important issue to take notice of and spending time reflecting on it. Learning more about depression as a closed system with multiple symptoms can have a positive impact on how we go about dealing with them in our recovery program of the 12 steps. In time you will learn more about the Depressed Anonymous fellowship and their use of the 12 principles (steps) of recovery.

Presently I want to share with you more information as to what makes up the closed system of depression. I think the more we take apart the various elements that make up the syndrome (symptoms) of depression, we are able to focus on one symptom at a time or more. This is what I mean by widening the chink in the armor of our depression. Each one will provide an entry to the particular area that we believe has the greatest responsibility for our being depressed.

Let’s go through the five (5) major areas and see how they each make up this closed system. We discover that symptoms feed on each other and produces a gradual paralysis of will and body which keeps us isolated and disconnected from family, friends and others. It also produces a lethargy where we no longer have regard for ourselves, our health or our future.

I will list the five (5) areas where we can begin to zero in on and list the characteristics of each separate symptom and see which of the five – possibly all of them – have had the principal role in our being disconnected from life and a daily activity.

THINKING

+mistaken beliefs+ feeling worthless+ guilt+ self-accusation+ self-dislike+ failure+ self-hatred + suicidal ideas+ feeling hopeless and helpless+ out of control+ self-pity

PHYSIOLOGICAL

+Insomnia+ decrease in sexual libido+ activity level is zero+ no concentration+ memory loss+ fatigue and bored+ weight loss/gain+ irritable

MOTIVATION

+difficulty planning for the day/future+ no desire for any pleasurable activity+ future looks bleak+ nothing ever works out+ failing at all jobs/projects

BEHAVIOR

+social withdrawal+ work retardation+ low or no interaction with others+ not involved in pleasant activities+ weight loss/gain+ excessive drinking/eating/sleeping

FEELINGS/EMOTIONS

fear+ sad+ angry+lonely+ irritable+ apathetic+ irritable+ loss of sexual activity+ loss of interest in activities that once gave pleasure+ tired all the time+ crying spells+ hopeless+ helpless and bored


We see that in one area of the symptoms the same issue will appear in the other lists of the depression syndrome.

In order to widen the chink in the armor of your own depression please go through each of the five lists and circle those particular items which apply specifically to your own experience with depression.

One of the five areas listed most probably will produce for you that entry point where you can begin to work on the areas that you have circled as having the greatest part in your sadness. Since each symptom affects the other four (4) one can begin to see how the individual issues cycle around and back and forth clamping down, not only the physical person but all the other areas of one daily life.

Here is the strategy for all of us: when we get to working on the various issues in the symptom that has the most issues circled – that in itself will disrupt all the other symptoms so that what happens in one will affect positively all the other. The negative synergism of the whole syndrome-depression – will be shaken and affected by the positive action or changes of just one of the symptoms. And the more we open up an area – our physiological level of inactivity – and set up a regular and daily exercise routine – this will reverberate to all the other four major symptoms. (A personal note here: when I could no longer get out of bed in the morning to go to my job I made a commitment – thinking and motivational – to get up and walk every day – whether I wanted to do it or not.) And it really worked as my mood was better by the mid-day. I no longer felt helpless but I was actually doing something – motivational area affected my mood – the feeling symptom – my behavior as I was not indecisive about exercise – I made a decision to continue to move my body and walk which influenced my thinking positively.

Finally, the closed system of depression has turned into an open and fluid cycle where the negativity of the system has been challenged. Instead of these single deficits of each of the symptoms we now have positive options we can begin with the belief that I too can get better just as others in our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous have broken the bonds of depression and are living lives of serenity and hope.

The 12 Steps and the working the Steps in a group or with the Home Study Workbook and manual will produce a hopeful change as each area, the thinking, the physiological, the motivational, the feelings, and behavior all will be turned into positives and so change our very closed and negative system into a hopeful and positive experience, day after day.

For a deeper look into the open system of hope and healing going to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook for opening and seeing for yourself how thinking more positively and getting motivated to free oneself from depression actually works. VISIT THE STORE for more information.

© 2017 Depressed Anonymous

The Fellowship of Depressed Anonymous

Today is decision time! You can do something for yourself today

 

“Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the God of our understanding. ” Step Three of Depressed Anonymous.

“Every decision that we make alters the world of meaning which we have created. Deciding to eat Puffed Wheat instead of Corn Flakes for breakfast may not be a major change, but abandoning ‘I am bad  and  unacceptable ‘ and replacing it with ‘I accept and value myself’ is.  Every decision you have made since you decided that you were bad and valueless was based on that decision.  Now, all these conclusions need reviewing and changing.”  Higher thoughts for down days. August 3rd. pg.155.  And D.  D. Rowe’s  BREAKING THE BONDS.

“In Step Three we have to make a decision. We don’t have to feel holy or extra nice but that we only have to make a decision – that is hard for someone who is depressed but it can be done. There is an old saying which goes like this: “Have a nice day unless you made other plans. ”

I want to really begin to turn things over to the God of my understanding. In Depressed Anonymous we call this God our Higher Power.

AS Bill W., (Co-founder of AA) tells us

“We realize we know only a little.  God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.  Ask Him in your morning meditations what you can do each day for that person who  is still depressed.  The answers will come, if your own house is in order. (See Step Four).

But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for us.”

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

PS.  WHAT PLANS HAVE YOU MADE FOR TODAY?

I have found persons who understand me and my problems

#FOUR/ BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.  (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
”  No longer am I alone in my depression. I can now see that it is up to me to form new friendships with others in the fellowship of the Depressed Anonymous Group. I have found persons who understand me  and my problems. I also learn coping skills and new positive behaviors from my fellow group members. ”

Below are listed some of  the advantages of belonging  to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship.

  • Receive acceptance  and support from the fellowship.
  • The fellowship of DA places no judgments  on those who join the group.
  • No longer isolated and alone.
  • No “snap out of it” comments from persons who have not experienced depression.
  • Learn how to gradually remove depression from our lives by utilizing the tools provided by the fellowship.
  • Gain new friends who actually “do know”  how we feel.
  • Learn  skills in taking full responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
  • Learning how to be with others in a mutual aid group while simultaneously  developing our interpersonal and social skills.
  • By being part of the group, with persons like oneself, have an overwhelming BELIEF that since they are all getting better, they tell themselves “so can I.”
  • Depression symptoms grow best in  isolation and the withdrawal from others. Healthy encounters with others like ourselves and by using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps, we begin to feel better and gain   hope for ourselves.

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Ray’s  personal testimony, #20. The Power of Depressed Anonymous  is found in DEPRESSED  ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. pgs.133-134.

           “So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous?  For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed persons just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I WAS ACCEPTED.

Ray tells us how “the most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope.”

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The fellowship makes available a HOME SELF STUDY KIT comprised of the Depressed Anonymous Manual and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  Both of these books can be purchased together.  For those who might desire some further support for issues in their recovery  that may arise from the Self Study KIT can contact us at depanon@netpenny.net.

For many, a Depressed Anonymous  group may not be available in your community and so the reason for the Home Study Kit. Depressed persons who feel isolated and with no group available can  profit  from this Home Study and gain insights into their own depression symptoms plus learn  how to deal with them.

I refuse to run from what I feel

AFFIRMATION

I will be in touch with my feelings throughout the day. I refuse to run from what I feel.

“The ability to experience one’s feelings without resisting or running from them, determines to a large degree whether a person is healthy are not.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I’m going to make a real effort today to do what I see works for depressed persons like myself. They all say that the longer they are in the program (Depressed Anonymous) , the more feelings they are able to express and the less the unpleasant feelings of fear dominates their life. I am finding that by writing my feelings down, the less frightening they seem to be to me. I am now able to deal head on with my feelings.

My addiction was a way of walling off my pain. In time, I became addicted to the pain and in doing so, I lost myself in the process. I find this experience to be a freeing one.

My addiction was a way of walling off pain. Now the pain is more important than what I am running away from.

What I experience in my life determines to a large extent what I predict life to become. My past experiences are predictors of a life not as yet lived. I am wanting to experience the fact that my good days are more frequent now and my bad days occurring not as often.

MEDITATION

God, the more I give up my need to be depressed the more I’m finding that I’m becoming more assertive and truly present to others in my life. I want you to help me feel my feelings and express them today. [ADD YOUR OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS HERE]


SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“I wanna be free and live a life free from fear and anxiety!

Came to believe that  a power greater than  ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

Now that I’m beginning to make an effort that this higher power is really on my side the more my faith and belief will help me overcome my fear of failure that  my depression ever coming to an end.

My fears, anxieties and other obstacles to my serenity will gradually disappear the more I learn that there is somebody up there that love me and wants me to be free from that gnawing emptiness   that continually plagues me  day after day. I am beginning to see that the more I attend meetings and read   my  Depressed Anonymous Big Book, and do my daily meditations the more peace and hope I will have. I truly believe that  life will  get better for me.  My sanity and my health will increase like a seed watered, nurtured and which receives a lot of sunlight.

 

We aren’t alone anymore. In fact, we are strengthened by the bonds of fellowship and friendship in the group and not burdened by the fear that we will again soon slump back  into our depression.” The Depressed Anonymous Workbook/Step 2-Page 13.


Excerpts from  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.

“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the universe. Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our life. That is a paradox of the 12 Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions,  the freer we in reality become.”

For the depressed person,  giving up old ways of thinking and acting is much like giving up any other addiction – at first letting go of the old behavior makes you feel  uncomfortable.  The  old behavior  wants  to  cling  to  our spirit  like swamp  mud hangs onto knee-high boots. Before your participation  in Depressed Anonymous you would go home from work, get by yourself and ruminate on how bad you felt. This new behavior will help you think differently about yourself. You will find that this higher power, or God as you understand him, is not the same God that you might have met when you were young. When you were a child you came to believe that God is watching you, ready  to punish you if you are not perfect. Now you can  begin to develop an adult and new way of being related  to God as you understand God.  With time, persistence and patience you will gradually trust your life to this Higher Power. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. Page 43.

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Please see Depressed Anonymous  literature  for more information.  You are able to order your own Kit online from www.depressedanon.com.

Let’s Get Real – The “Snap Out Of It” Advice Doesn’t Get It!

Let’s get real!  How often do we hear people who’ve   never been depressed  tell people depressed to just “snap out” of their depression? Answer? Too many times.

In our Manual,   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition  we read  “I don’t believe you can snap out of your depression, or suddenly   and dramatically get your life turned around by going to one Depressed Anonymous meeting, or reading the  12 steps  five times an hour. It just doesn’t happen that way, especially if you have lived with  your depression for any length of time. Even though we  emphasize  that  depression is not a disease, we do want you to know that depression over a long period of time can cause physical problems and upset the metabolism of the human organism. More and more, doctors see how  positive feelings, attitudes and emotions can help cancer patients maintain a remission and stay free of a recurring cancer condition. Unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, tension and depression all work against recovery.

I would call the sadness  that  has  been with us for as long as we can remember,  a learned way to respond to certain negative stimuli. What you will be doing when you come to a Depressed Anonymous meetings is to get involved in your own healing. You will find other men and women who are struggling with the same pain as you are. You will discover that the first step in coming to grips with depression that won’t  quit is for you to surrender it,  quit fighting it.  Let the God, as you understand God  take over your life and help let it restore you to sanity, peace and understanding of the way in which you can find the path  out of your depression and pain. Depressed Anonymous works if you begin the work of the spiritual program that we’re going to outline in this book.  Depression is a moral problem and as such there needs to be a moral solution,  one part of which is to admit that we are responsible for ourselves and that we can’t blame it on genes, psychological predispositions or one’s spouse or some other situation.  We are going to take charge. We choose to un-depress ourselves. Today! One day at a time!

…But let me warn you — it isn’t easy to do something different from what you have been doing  most of your life. This is especially true when it comes to the way we see ourselves, our world and others. There are no magic pills and no easy answers to bring us immediately out of this inner pain and anguish. It does take time and work.

If you really want to leave behind your painful sadness, the daily tears, and the feelings of worthlessness, then begin now to admit the unmanageable mess of your depression. You have had it with feeling out of control!

That’s the way it is with depression – over the years you get comfortable with feeling miserable, which doesn’t mean you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk doing something different. When you want to change and leave your depression behind, the choice that you want to make is immediately dashed to the ground because you  feel there is no hope for you. “I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to feel better,” you tell yourself. Most the time, we tell ourselves that we will do it when we feel better. (See reference to” I’ll do it when I feel better”   below). Folks, let me tell you something – you will never feel better until  you begin to physically get moving! We all know that we feel better only when we get into gear and get busy – distracting ourselves  from those ever present miserable  thoughts which whisper how bad we are and how hopeless life seems to be.”

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SOURCES: (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pgs. 31-32.

(c) I’ll will do it when I feel better. (2015) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002)(Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DEPRESSION AND THE HEALING POWER OF THE 12 STEPS.

ALSO LEARN HOW TO USE THE HOME STUDY KIT FOR YOUR  PERSONAL RECOVERY PLAN OF ACTION!

How Depressed Anonymous works!

  This statement is read it every depressed anonymous meeting.

“You are about to witness the miracle  of the group. You’re joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how  hope, light,  and  energy have been regained by those who are hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better.

 We are not the people with the magic pills and the  easy formulas for success. We believe that  to get out of the prison of depression we believe that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

We have all been wounded in different degrees by the experience of depression. We also know that there is a method to regain control over our lives that is practical and workable. It is successful for all those who want to change their lives. We once believed that there was no hope and that suicide was the only way out.

In this natural world one of the first laws is  that all  growth is gradual – that belief is the bottom line for all of us who are depressed, and who want to get better. The more we attend meetings, the more we will learn and see the various ways to escape depression. We also learned how important it is not to give up on ourselves.”

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Source: Copyright (c). Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Louisville, Kentucky.

 

What am I feeling?

WHAT AM I FEELING?

                                 Anger? Hostility? Aggression?

Anger: An emotion that says “Something is wrong.” That  it can be expressed to tell others about your personal limits, values, rules, and boundaries. The respectful expression of anger is an important way to educate others about how their behavior affects you. It can result in mutual respect between you and another person.

Hostility: An attitude that contributes to the violation of another person’s rights, values, rules, or boundaries. This attitude can include ruminating or brooding about another person’s real or perceived injustices toward you and ways that you can  “get even” with him/her   and this attitude leads to feelings of powerlessness. It can often lead to aggression our withdrawal as a way to punish others.

Aggression: A behavior, acted on with the intent to harm others, either physically or emotionally for real or imagined  “wrongs” done to you. This behavior always results in disrespect for yourself or the other person. It creates distance between you rather that brings you closer.

                           Learning how to express anger respectfully.

1.  Admit your anger. Accept that you are angry. Shouting “I am not angry!” at the other person only escalates you more. It can be safe and growth producing to acknowledge that you are angry.

2. Take a “timeout” to cool down if you need it.  Learning to deal respectfully and constructively with your anger takes time and practice.

3. Identify the source of your anger (look for your primary feelings). Make sure you perceived what happened correctly. Ask yourself questions like: ” what is my negative self-talk?” “Am I  dealing only with this issue at hand or are there other stressors that have already escalated me before this?” “Am I looking for a reason to blowup?”

4. Separate the energy of your anger (pent up feelings inside you seeking release) from the issue your anger is about (the condition, idea, event, or person you feel angry at).

5. Decide how and when you will express your anger.

6. Talk to the other person involved with your anger. Share your anger and any  primary feelings you can identify in an open, direct, and respectful way.

7. Make  “I” statements. Take responsibility for your own feelings. Resist the temptation to blame someone else for  “making you” feel angry.

8. Listen closely to the others point of view. Recognize and accept that their view may be quite different from yours. Remember that they have a right to their perspective and feelings.

9. Get in touch with your expectations and your intentions in sharing your anger. The purpose is not to “win” the argument (or discussion) or to make the other person agree with you or your point of view. Rather, it is an opportunity to give  both of you a time to express feelings.  Also,  explore alternatives such as compromising. Or you can “Agree to disagree” and table the discussion until another time.”

Source: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 34 to 35.

Please VIST THE STORE  for more information on the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and the Depressed Anonymous Manual, both of which comprise the HOME STUDY KIT which can be purchased online.