Category Archives: Acceptance

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, Honesty, Hope, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Was finding this phone number a coincidence?

October 23, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Helen shares her story about finding help–when she needed it most.

“I finally knew after two year or more of sleepless nights that someone had to help me. I found a card saying Depressed Center, in the back of the phone book. It has a phone number and that was all. I talked to a man on the other end of the phone. I said to myself this man is too busy to talk with me, but anyway I made the first appointment myself. I made myself go. I thank God I did. I thank God that I went for help. It was a whole new beginning for me. I wanted to get well so badly. I think people do have to want to change. I went in with an attitude that I have to get well. I had heard things about counselors that scared me, but this was just all the old negative feelings that caught up with me and boxed me in. I got better and started to think differently. I started to get rid of some of my negative thoughts. I began to feel better and I continued to see my counselor. I started in Depressed Anonymous some weeks later.”

If you are curious about how the mutual aid group changed Helen’s life you’ll need to read her full account in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, pages 169-172.

She also has something powerful to say about pleasing people and how she needed to get her priorities straight and begin taking care of herself.

Sources: Seeing is believing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017). Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

I’ll do it when I feel better.(2018) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY

Acceptance, Fellowship, Higher Power, Hope, The 12 Steps

God doesn’t act like gangbusters.

September 15, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“In Depressed Anonymous, we are exposed constantly to the tough message that we have to give up our self-pity and sadness if we want to be happy. We have to think in terms of what is possible with God in our lives. Sometimes people come to Depressed Anonymous and don’t want to talk about God and the Twelve Steps, and can’t understand what this has to do with how bad they feel. If after a number of meetings they still don’t want to work the Twelve Steps, we recommend other groups to them. Depressed Anonymous is a spiritual program and it is allowing the Higher Power into our lives that eventually delivers us from the habit of feeling sad and depressed. We in Depressed Anonymous are committed to working the Twelve Steps and listening to each other share how God, as we understand God, has worked in our lives….

Jim, a member of Depressed Anonymous admitted that he had seriously thought of taking his own life as he had lost all hope of removing this sadness which, like a cancer, was taking his life by inches. It was only when he had nothing to lose that he made a decision to turn his mind and his will over to the care of God as he understood God. It was at this point that that the God of his understanding or the Higher Power was allowed to work in Jim’s life. God doesn’t act like gangbusters and force its way into our lives -God has to be invited. Once again there is an invitation from us and we admit our dependence on God instead of on our own addiction. It is then that our feelings begin to come alive and the flow of God’s love makes its way into our lives. We begin to to find that we are feeling better and that something good as we trust, possibly for the first time, this God who will give us our heart’s desire. “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things that we can and the wisdom to know the difference. ” Trust God to be God, and let this power help you, as it has helped millions of other men an women before you.”

Acceptance, Fellowship, Purpose, The 12 Steps

Setting A Force In Motion

August 6, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force – the loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me – restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those who are ready to risk leaving behind the prison of their depression. By my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing” I find that my own life is gradually more filled with purpose and energy.

There is a saying that to gain energy you must give energy. I have found this to be true for my own life.

What appears to deplete our energy is when our thoughts implode and collide with each other as they are kept focused on the problem. Actually, a person who is depressed is much like a community which is divided and at war with itself.

If you nurture yourself, you will find that just as in the natural world, the growth will be good and the growth will be gradual. There are no quick fixes in life –only slow solutions.

We have a competency, an identity, an autonomy and an interrelatedness to everything alive around us. We are truly a part of every living community on the planet and in the entire universe. We are all one – and the more we see ourselves as part and parcel of this universe, we discover that we are a part of creating a wonderful garden of diversity and plurality where everyone feels a part.

We realize again that by my willingness to live in the will of God that I can live in the peace of my own consciousness of being one with all. What I mean by this is that God acts in and through us the more we let go and let God.

We believe that as we can become aware that God dwells in each of us and demonstrates its power in us the more we remain open to God’s personal presence.

We humans are so grounded in the material and the spatial that it is veritably impossible to be conscious of a Higher Power in and around us. We are so mired in the muck. We can begin to believe that we can tap into this consciousness and let it unfold its plan, its purpose and plot for our life. It will not plan something small and insignificant but will, by small steps, lead us, cause to unfold in our lives that which it has for us to accomplish while we are here on this earth. And I believe the spiritual nature and the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous is what God uses to get us aware and conscious of its love and presence.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pages 15-17.

Acceptance

The experience of surrender involves the “letting in” of reality

July 11, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

“Serenity is in the letting go!”

Alcoholism ( depression) and addiction, characterized as they are by the rigid clinging of obsession and compulsion, help us to understand the experience of release. Perhaps the greatest paradox in the story of spirituality is the mystical insight that we are able to experience release only if we ourselves let go, This is the paradox of surrender. Surrender begins with the acceptance that we are not in absolute control of the matter at hand – in fact, we are not in absolute control of anything. Thus the experience of surrender involves the “letting in” of reality that becomes possible only when we are ready to let go of our illusions and pretensions (our “unreality“).

If surrender is the act of “letting go” the experience of conversion can be understood as the hinge on which the act swings – it is the turning point, the turning from “denial” as a way of seeing things, to acceptance of the reality revealed in surrender. The self-centeredness that undermines spirituality is rooted in a self-deception that reflects a false relationship with reality, and that false relationship begins with distorted seeing, with some kind of false understanding about the nature of reality and our relationship with it. Breaking through that denial and confronting reality is what members of Alcoholic Anonymous mean by “hitting bottom.”

The experience of release most frequently comes at the point of exhaustion, at the moment when we “give up” our efforts and this permits ourselves to just be…

“What blocks release more than anything else is the refusal to “let go” that comes from the demand for security, for certainty, for assured results. Release, like spirituality itself, requires risk.”

SOURCE: The Spirituality of Imperfection. Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham. Bantam Books, 1992. pages 168-169.

NOTE: This excerpt was reprinted in the Volume 8, Number #1 Issue of The Antidepressant Tablet. Louisville. KY.

Acceptance, Fellowship, Forgiveness, Step 04, Step 05, The 12 Steps

Cleaning House: Steps 4 & 5

June 29, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

AFFIRMATION

I know that I can be forgiven.

“Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all around forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we inwardly knew we’d be able to receive forgiveness and give it, too.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

In Step 5 we really get serious about our life and our thirst for freedom. It is especially evident when we work this step that a new spirit of freedom penetrates the very fiber of our being. I know that it is when I look myself in the face, list and spell out each and every fault/defect that keeps me locked into my prison of depression. I can say with all truth and humility that I am more free now than I have ever felt in my life because of my working the Fourth and Fifth Steps. I am learning that what it takes to be set free from our painful past is the total honesty in speaking about it.

I gain forgiveness by giving it. When I release my anger or revenge toward another human being I am then free.

MEDITATION

God, please release in us our need to hang onto our guilt and anger. Cast your light on our pain and let us find peace. (Personal comments).

SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. pg 129.

To order ONLINE please VISIT THE STORE at this site.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Exercise, Fellowship, Journaling, Kindness, Prayer

My anti-depression tool kit: An arsenal of weapons to defeat depression.

June 27, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

The following is a personal story of how a member of Depressed Anonymous used her anti-depression Tool Kit to disarm and dismantle symptoms of depression in her daily life.

I am no longer alone

” I am writing this information with the hope that it will help anyone who is suffering from depression that is brought on by stress, anxiety, loneliness, physical or mental emotions, death or insecurity.

I am a thirty-four year old single female, who has been suffering from depression for a long time. Most of my depression was brought on by feelings of insecurity, such as not being able to express my inner feelings, being controlled by a dominating parent, loneliness, stress, workaholic, anxiety attacks (related to work and everyday pressures of living), too much sleep, nervousness, lack of motivation, being tired all the time, sadness, weight gain, digestive problems, a feeling of being trapped, self-consciousness, not trusting myself, dreams of dying but yet managing to come back to life, withdrawal from family, or loss of interest in meeting with the opposite sex.

It seemed that I was living in another world until one of my parents gave me a phone number of Depressed Anonymous meetings, plus reading the Depressed Anonymous manual have provided me with the tools to live without being depressed. Most important of all, the Twelve Steps mentioned in the book have made me understand that God (my Higher Power) will give me strength to deal with my depression and get on with my life and be happy with myself.

The book with its Twelve Steps, has taught me that I am not alone. And that I am not the only one who is suffering from depression. It has taught me to believe more in my Higher Power and to let it handle my depression.

I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go to counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must. I need them to survive. The support group’s members help each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and give support on how to cope with depression. By letting my Higher Power help me, I am beginning to feel free from depression. I am not so nervous and tensed up. My Christian inner faith is getting stronger. I am not so stressed out and I am beginning to get confidence within myself . I still have problems with sleep patterns and I am getting some motivation back. I have learned how to handle anxiety by taking deep breaths when I am nervous or troubled. This was suggested by my therapist. I am also learning how to stand up for myself.

All these new tools have helped me and will continue to do so. They also taught me not to dwell on my past, to live one day at a time, and to look forward to the future, but not live there. It will take me a long time to deal with depression, but I am glad that these tools are available. Life can be good for a change. Please don’t give up.”

-Anonymous.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (Louisville, KY, 2011. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages 148-149.

Please go to MENU and click onto TOOLS* FOR RECOVERY. There you will discover those tools which can be used to dismantle those painful areas of your life which in the past have imprisoned you.

RECOVERY TOOLS: Exercise; Meditation; The Serenity Prayer; Cutting off negative thinking-The Law of the Threes; Being in Nature; Journaling; Managing stress; Music; Nutrition; Positive self-talk; Sleep; Social engagement; Stay in the Present.

Read more stories of persons who have dismantled their own depression. Check out the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore and order online.

Acceptance, Fellowship, Isolation, Mutual Aid

The protective wall of the community

June 12, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

I do believe the term “protective wall of the community ” is surely an apt and meaningful description of those who are messengers of hope in the 12 step Program of Depressed Anonymous. The program and suggested principles of Depressed Anonymous serve as a protection against the frailty of us all producing in each of us a solidarity with other’s sense of futility and isolation. We then become a wall against which our addiction(s) attempt to overcome and divide us. It is on the ramparts of struggle that we gain access to hope again. We, the group, now serve as a protection against despair. We know now, thanks to our active participation in our 12 Step program, that we no longer stand alone, isolated and vulnerable. We now stand together with those “others” who are aware and conscious that some Power greater than themselves is to restore us all to sanity today.

Only by gaining an insight into my addiction to sadness and misery that I can be free from this need to numb myself from the feelings of hurt and despair.

In recent retreats many of the participants gathered there were in agreement that they could do something about their depression. In fact, one of the participants said that she was surprised and pleased that she could in fact take responsibility fir her self and begin to work herself out of depression.

This was a revelation for her that she could be an active participant in her own recovery process.

I think that too often people depressed mistakenly think that they had nothing to do with their depression – and if they had nothng to do with it, then they think that they have no power to undo it. And like other problems in life, we have to consider our habitual attachment to those thoughts, behaviors and actions which continue to keep us isolated with the comfort of not making a decision on our behalf to escape the prison of our depression. We are NOT helpless.

Now that I am willing to assume responsibility for my depression I have begun to take a closer look at my life and the way in which I was living it. It now has become clear that I have to make some changes in the way I think, feel and behave.

I had to become conscious that with the help of God, as I understand God and my recovery group called Depressed Anonymous, that I could in time free myself from my depression.

So often we want someone to take away our pain, our hurt and our grieving with out any effort on our part. Of course –life doesn’t work that way. For more information about our program of recovery click onto the Depressed Anonymous menu and discover how you to can find hope .

Hugh

Acceptance, Anger, Attachment, Choice, Depressed Anonymous, Despair, Focus, Grief, Hope, Journaling, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Purpose, Serenity, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Drinking Depression: One Man’s Story Of Recovery From Alcoholism And Depression

June 7, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

DRINKING DEPRESSION: One man’s story of recovery from alcoholism and depression and the parallels between the two.

By Steve P.

“I have had experiences with alcohol abuse since childhood. I have also struggled since childhood with depression. I quickly learned to rely on both.

I call this paper “drinking depression” because that’s exactly what I did when I no longer had the alcohol. The following thoughts will express my feelings and the parallels that I have seen between these two addictions.

RELIANCE

There was always an excuse to drink, mostly I was upset with something –I should say angry, for it was anger at the root of my depression that I was trying to suppress in medicating myself with alcohol. Later, I learned to do the same thing with my depression except to be in a depressive state high. I didn’t even have to leave the house and after awhile I didn’t want to break the cycle of reliance that dependency had begun. Where I was absorbing alcohol into my blood stream I was now injecting the depression into my soul and absorbing it like a sponge

FAMILIARITY AND COMFORT

As a recovering alcoholic, I can look back on my drinking and see where I took comfort in being drunk because eventually the numbness became the only way I could feel better. When I was drunk I could retreat into myself and not have to deal with everyday life.

The same escape tool was used in the form of depression. I could ball up like a wooly worm and the outside world was not going to hurt me. However, the more I wallowed in the darkness of my depression the deeper I got stuck in the mud of despair and hopelessness.

DESPERATION

In order to deal with alcoholism and depression I had to hit rock bottom. I had reached a point in both that I had to call out for help or drown in my addiction. I called on my Higher Power to help deliver me from alcohol and he led me to a counselor to also help me with my depression. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit I am harnessing my talents now and I am seeing incredible results. My recovery has not been overnight but it is a day by day and step by step recovery process.

THE PHYSICAL

After some time had passed, the drinking affects the physical body breaking it down. Once I saw a film in which the brain of an alcoholic was compared to the brain of a heroin addict and they were very similar. The depression I experienced also had physical implications. For over twenty years the way my body would respond from too much emotional stress was to pass out. Instead of blacking out from alcohol I was using depression to numb myself and my brain.

THE SPIRITUAL

When I was drinking I felt alienation and guilt. I felt professing Christians did not drink. The more I drank the more guilty I became. I felt much more distant from God the more I drank and spiraled further down into a cycle of despair.

In my depression, I felt God had no time for me and that I was unworthy of his love. Again, it was a carousal filled with guilt and anger going round and round so that I couldn’t get off the merry-go-round.

SELF-ESTEEM

When I was drinking, I was sure that no one cared or could understand what I was going through, so I had many pity parties and I was the guest of honor. Why should I care if no one else cared? This was my way of thinking.

From painful experiences in my childhood I felt I was of no worth and just taking up space. It has taken therapy and the support of family and friends to finally look in the mirror and begin to like what I saw.

HOPE

I have been sober over two years although I often have the desire to drink I daily call on my Higher Power to help me and march on one day at a time experiencing serenity and a release from my need to take that first drink.

I have been in therapy for almost a year off and on, although in order to recover one has to stay with it. I have to take my emotional and spiritual healing, like my drinking —one day at a time knowing I can make it. It is only by opening the door of the past that the light of the present can get rid of the darkness today, providing hope for the future.

It is my hope and prayer that this has helped you, in some small way. It has helped me by writing about my experiences. May God put walls of protection around you so that the way ahead for you may be crystal clear so that today may be your first step towards recovery.”

God bless.

Steve P.

+This article first appeared in THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET, Spring 1994.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, DA Literature, Fellowship, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

“I can make the hard changes.”

February 27, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Your HIGHER THOUGHT for today

Affirmation

I am gaining, day by day, a new and hopeful attitude about my life and my relationship with others.

“Strangely, I feel as if I’ve been incredibly lucky. Logically, I don’t believe in luck. I believe the people make their own lives when they are what they are, but still I feel so lucky to have been involved in a group which gave me the opportunity, and incentive, to start to make changes in my life: to understand why I am sometimes so angry, why I have been so self-critical and self-destructing. Understanding why you feel as you do opens the gates for the even harder struggle of changing what you do.”

Making changes is part of making a life. If I choose to stay mired in the deep pit of depression, I can choose that. I have that as an option. But, if I want to choose and risk changing myself, I have the option of working to construct a different way of looking at my world. Just by changing my attitude about my life in the direction where I want it to go, I can make the hard changes. I want to change my attitude. I will now want to listen to those who have been in recovery for months and/or years and listen to their hopeful attitude and how they are feeling better now that they are living one day at a time. They are no longer fearful that the old nemesis, the sadness, will sneak up and change everything back to the way it was.

I can only change myself. I will always try and keep the focus on how I need to change, not how others around me need to change.

Meditation

God, we are always heartened and healed by the group. Please guide us and let us be led to that healing community of persons who are struggling to find the serenity that you promised to those who do you will. “Fear not, for I am always with you.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page 43. (2/27/18.)

In order to get started on your own recovery, at your pace, and in the amount of time that you feel you need, we offer a HOME STUDY KIT. Please click onto the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore menu for information on ordering these materials of recovery.

Acceptance, Denial

I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed. That seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me

January 2, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

A Medley of Depression Stories. 2017. (With permission of the author Deborah Sanford.) This work can be found available at Amazon.com.

Cindy’s Story of regrets.

” I am realizing what a young woman I was when I had my kids. Now at 32 with 13 and 11 year old sons, I can barely find the energy to just live through today. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulder to raise them, to teach them morals and care for them and keep them out of trouble. Since both are diagnosed ADHD, I spend a great deal of time at the school fighting the administration on their behalf. It is exhausting. I hear myself saying in my thoughts: “I just want it to be over.” I feel depressed so often. I think how I just want to run away and leave my husband to raise them. When will it ever be time for me? Their father works all the time. I would on most day’s trade places with him gladly. The house stays a mess. and their dishes, cups and glasses stay seated where they leave them. It doesn’t seem fair. I don’t remember asking for this job. How could a busy robust life turn into this? I can’t find the hope to be anything or do anything anymore. By the time I get them raised I will not qualify for any jobs except spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread! Some days I think I just could start over but I know I can’t go back 14 years ago. I love my boys to pieces but, I feel so trapped, so hopeless and so valueless. After this ongoing heavy feeling of hopelessness, I found a good therapist who also told me about a local Depressed Anonymous meeting for depression. I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed, that seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me. I didn’t think I was depressed anyway to even search for a depression meeting. I just thought everything in my life was just wrong and messed up. And I just needed to “figure how to fix it.” She (therapist) assured me that I had fallen into a depression and that a support group would really benefit me! She was right! I can’t find the words for how much the Depressed Anonymous meetings have helped me. I have been able with help to put things into perspective. I’ve learned to take it one day at a time. The boys are teenagers and truthfully I wouldn’t have them but for a few more years. I want to treasure the little bit of time left that I will have. And my therapist encouraged me to hire a housekeeper for just three hours a week to mop and catch up laundry and dishes. My problems are solvable! Thank God! I haven’t felt trapped and stuck for quite a while now. My husband is always going to have to work long hours but my life has become more manageable in the meantime. And I have met new friends at the support group who have kids and feel like I was feeling. It’s so nice to be able to relate to them. I am so very grateful for Depressed Anonymous.”

–Cindy is a member of Depressed Anonymous. Her story is part of a collection of 35 stories, all centered on persons depressed who have found help and hope in the fellowship of Depressed

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NOTE: The author, Debra Sanford, is the Founder of Depressed Anonymous groups in the North Carolina communities of Elizabeth City and Edenton, NC. We thank her for the permission to post this inspiring story on our Blog today.

SOURCE: Below you can get more information on the new book, (c) A Medley of Depression Stories.

https://the depression stories. wordpress.com/

Email: the depressionstories@gmail.com

Hope is just a few steps away!