Category Archives: Acceptance

Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Let’s Get Real – The “Snap Out Of It” Advice Doesn’t Get It!

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Let’s get real!  How often do we hear people who’ve   never been depressed  tell people depressed to just “snap out” of their depression? Answer? Too many times.

In our Manual,   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition  we read  “I don’t believe you can snap out of your depression, or suddenly   and dramatically get your life turned around by going to one Depressed Anonymous meeting, or reading the  12 steps  five times an hour. It just doesn’t happen that way, especially if you have lived with  your depression for any length of time. Even though we  emphasize  that  depression is not a disease, we do want you to know that depression over a long period of time can cause physical problems and upset the metabolism of the human organism. More and more, doctors see how  positive feelings, attitudes and emotions can help cancer patients maintain a remission and stay free of a recurring cancer condition. Unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, tension and depression all work against recovery.

I would call the sadness  that  has  been with us for as long as we can remember,  a learned way to respond to certain negative stimuli. What you will be doing when you come to a Depressed Anonymous meetings is to get involved in your own healing. You will find other men and women who are struggling with the same pain as you are. You will discover that the first step in coming to grips with depression that won’t  quit is for you to surrender it,  quit fighting it.  Let the God, as you understand God  take over your life and help let it restore you to sanity, peace and understanding of the way in which you can find the path  out of your depression and pain. Depressed Anonymous works if you begin the work of the spiritual program that we’re going to outline in this book.  Depression is a moral problem and as such there needs to be a moral solution,  one part of which is to admit that we are responsible for ourselves and that we can’t blame it on genes, psychological predispositions or one’s spouse or some other situation.  We are going to take charge. We choose to un-depress ourselves. Today! One day at a time!

…But let me warn you — it isn’t easy to do something different from what you have been doing  most of your life. This is especially true when it comes to the way we see ourselves, our world and others. There are no magic pills and no easy answers to bring us immediately out of this inner pain and anguish. It does take time and work.

If you really want to leave behind your painful sadness, the daily tears, and the feelings of worthlessness, then begin now to admit the unmanageable mess of your depression. You have had it with feeling out of control!

That’s the way it is with depression – over the years you get comfortable with feeling miserable, which doesn’t mean you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk doing something different. When you want to change and leave your depression behind, the choice that you want to make is immediately dashed to the ground because you  feel there is no hope for you. “I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to feel better,” you tell yourself. Most the time, we tell ourselves that we will do it when we feel better. (See reference to” I’ll do it when I feel better”   below). Folks, let me tell you something – you will never feel better until  you begin to physically get moving! We all know that we feel better only when we get into gear and get busy – distracting ourselves  from those ever present miserable  thoughts which whisper how bad we are and how hopeless life seems to be.”

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SOURCES: (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pgs. 31-32.

(c) I’ll will do it when I feel better. (2015) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002)(Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DEPRESSION AND THE HEALING POWER OF THE 12 STEPS.

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Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope, Journaling, Love, The 12 Steps

Being depressed means isolation

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How do I know if I’m depressed?

“Being depressed means isolation – and being cut off from everybody and everything.  It is like being in prison, like a pit where the walls are like soft clay and I cannot climb out. To me the isolation is pre-hell and often I feel so dead inside.  There is an awful feeling, that hole in my soul which is like a clenched fist.   I don’t know where to turn with all the pain and hurt. I can’t imagine anyone hurts the way I do and I hope no one does. I would never want to inflict this pain on anyone, so I tried to hold it inside and it seems like it’s too much to bear, especially alone. This is where Depressed Anonymous comes in – this is where powerlessness and God come in. There was no one to help, even to try to understand before Depressed Anonymous. No one wanted my pain  and others started  to avoid me.  I understand better now, especially since I’ve been around Depressed Anonymous via Hugh and the book Depressed Anonymous,3rd edition and the journaling I’ve done. My hope is that I will be more at peace and will try to use the  specific tools which continue to be  great helps in overcoming depression while  giving me  hope —  just for today.”

Source:  Mary C, Sterling Heights, Michigan.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Visit the Store for more information on Depression and the use of the 12 Steps.

Acceptance

If there is a God, let Him show Himself!

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“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.

My depression deepened  unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the very  bottom of the pit.  For the moment, the  last vestige of my proud obstinacy  was crushed.  All at once I found myself crying out, “If there is a God, let him show himself! I am ready to do anything, anything.!”

Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain  and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing.  And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy  subsided. I lay on the bed,  but now for a time I was in another world,   a new world of consciousness.  All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, “So this is the god of the preachers!”

SOURCE:  Bill W., As Bill Sees It.  Page 2.  “In God’s Hand.”  (The above quote is from Alcoholics Anonymous, P.100.)

Acceptance, Mindfulness

I have learned that by admitting that I am depressed is my key which unlocks the door

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AFFIRMATION

I will let  go of the negative thoughts about myself as soon as I am conscious that I am experiencing them.

“…try to live one day at a time. We know from past experiences that our sobriety, our disappearance  of sadness is due to letting go, admitting my powerlessness over my sadness and turning it over to my Higher Power  and letting it take care of my sadness. I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to live with out.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I know that I have to work on myself and the way that I speak to myself on an on going and daily basis.  My letting go and letting God take over my life doesn’t mean that that I’ll just sit back and let God do all the work, no, it means that I will work on my self and leave the outcome up to my Higher Power.   I know that my life can be lived differently. if I just make an effort to choose to be conscious of the thoughts that I let myself ruminate and think about during the day.  The more I monitor   my thoughts, the more I am able to filter out the negative thoughts and  have them replaced.

So often when I am depressed  I continue a thinking style that was learned as a small child.  I am not even conscious as to how I would always select the negative attributes about myself to reflect upon instead of attempting to think positive and hopeful thoughts and about myself and my relationships. The more I believe that I have a choice as to how I am to feel, the more I become conscious of the thoughts that influence the way that I feel.

MEDITATION
God, just let us for today, dwell on your mercy and kindness that you desire to bestow on us. We pray that our awareness of your love for us will free us from sadness.”

SOURCE:  Copyright (c) HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 248.

Acceptance, Addiction, Fellowship, Meditation, Prayer, Purpose, Spirituality, Step 01, The 12 Steps

A Rock In A Rocky Sea Which We All Hold Onto

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“Remarkable things happen to us when we are willing to admit defeat and talk about our powerlessness over our depression and how our lives had become unmanageable. This first step is the beginning of the flight of steps that takes us up and into our new way of living.  At our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous we talk hope, we act hopeful, and we think hope. We learn that our thinking depressed and negative  thoughts might have gotten us in the shape that we are in today.  What you think is what you become. For us who find sadness our second nature, we at times continue to revert to the comfort of old familiar negative thinking and are in  actuality returning to self destructive activity. Hope is overcome by  sadness.

When we become convinced that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, we found ourselves turning many times during a twenty four hour period to that power.  It is a rock in a rocky sea that we all hold onto when we find it easier to just give up and sadden ourselves instead of facing the storm and living through the fear. What Bill W., said about the alcoholic applies equally to the saddict: “He or she can settle for mediocrity and self-satisfaction even though this may indeed prove to be a precarious perch. Or he/she can choose to go on growing in greatness of spirit and action.”

You never stop using and following the steps of the program. We are  in recovery all our lives. You don’t graduate. When we return to saddening ourselves, we return to the old compulsion that can again reduce us to that bankrupt individual who is bereft of peace and hope. We want to grow in the conviction that the Higher Power will restore us to sanity. One of the best ways to grow out of our  saddiction  is to start acting the healer instead of being the passive victim.  We are under the care of no one except our God.

This spiritual awakening is enhanced even further when we make a decision to turn our wills and our minds over to the care of God. Without a doubt this is a very big step for many people to trust anybody – and now especially to trust a God who they have spent a lifetime fearing. It is this decision which allows us to feel freedom when  we start to practice the daily turning over of our will to God. It frees us up and as we pray and listen in our meditation times, we find that our spiritual capacity to connect with the Higher Power is greatly magnified.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 107.

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” It has to be that what one believes is what one can become. Actually it is a self fulfilling prophecy  that how we conceive of our self is what we can become. This having a dream and setting out some life goals can lead to a life filled with hope and promises.  And for those of us who take our 12 Step fellowship seriously and stay actively involved one day at a time, soon discover the joy and serenity that this spiritually rich recovery program provides.”

SOURCE: I’ll do it when I feel better. (2016) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. Page 85.

 

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Fellowship, Focus, Step 01, The 12 Steps

Depressed Anonymous Had Been The Ultimate Key To A Successful Life

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Depressed Anonymous had been the ultimate key to a largely successful life for me. Prior to entering the program, I had no money, no driver’s license, and had dropped out of college  due to poor grades and a personal breakdown for which I was hospitalized. I had not then worked Step One because I wasn’t aware that I was powerless over my depression, that my life was disorganized as the mess in my closet.

During the first night in the hospital,  a member informed me of a support group known as Depressed Anonymous. I decided to give it a try. By telling me about this wonderful, miraculous and very spiritual program, this person had not only worked the  Twelfth Step, (Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all our affairs) but has also given me a key which would open many doors for me. Walking through these doors was like admitting defeat. I was playing first base in a  ball game in which I would eventually win. If I struck out, I was back on Step One. By playing ball with a positive attitude, I was allowing my Higher Power to walk the Steps to recovery with me. With the help and positive sense of fellowship that I enjoyed in the group, I began to understand God’s will for me.  With the love, support, and true friendship of three faithful members in the group, I began working on my driver’s license, which had been another step toward my independence  for me. Within a year, I earned my license when two members of the group took me in for a road test. A new sunnier life had begun for me. The worst was finally over.”

Lena, in  PERSONAL STORIES (#2): “We never talked about our feelings. ” Pages 112-113.

SOURCE:  DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville .

Acceptance, DA Literature, Journaling, Victim Thinking

DEPRESSED? LEARN FROM LOIS HOW TO BECOME A SURVIVOR!

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Two days ago,  quoting from her piece in the Personal Stories section of Depressed  Anonymous (pages 111-112) we continue to read what she has to say about being a survivor of depression and not the victim.

Step Three (“Made a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I unstand God”) required much time, thought, and daily meditation. My Higher Power no longer was a permissive parent whom I begged would give to me what I thought I wanted. All the love, the caring, and the intelligence was there. I just had to accept it for myself. Today, the God of my understanding is different than when I began the journey. As a professional educated woman, spiritually I was in kindergarten. I badgered my counselor for a guide to assist me in taking my Fourth Step inventory. I wrote for months and then quickly moved to Step Five before I could rationalize it all away. The therapist who is responsible for beginning Depressed Anonymous in our area became another human being from our Fifth Step…

During my recovery there were times when I would begin to interfere and I would remind myself of what it was like when I was attempting to run the show.  Aloud I would say: “Oh, I turned that one over to you and I trust you. I don’t need to take it back.”

Today I view the situation as “unfolding” and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher  Power is in charge.”

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SOURCES:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. (Personal Stories/Pages 111-112).

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

The Home Study Project, includes both  WORKBOOK and the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS can be purchased together. Please VISIT THE STORE on  how to order the HOME STUDY PROJECT  on  our secure line.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, DA Literature, Fellowship, Negativity, Victim Thinking

A therapist speaks out about Depressed Anonymous

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“One of the greatest resources I’ve used in working with many depressed persons has been Depressed Anonymous. The transformation it causes in an individual’s life is truly miraculous. This stems from it being primarily a spiritual program of healing and recovery.  It encourages a person to seek a personal relationship with God, whoever they understand God to be. In doing this, it helps a person to look inside for healing, rather than in a pill or some quick “cure.” Many persons who suffer with  depression look on God as being one who judges them harshly. This thinking usually leads  to much anger towards God, which results in more negative thinking. I know this from my own experiences with depression, and the angry relationship with God I had during those times. This is where Depressed Anonymous offers hope by getting a person connected to a group who also suffers with depression, and are working the Twelve Steps. In doing this, it helps a person come to a realization that it will only be through a power greater than themselves that they will find sanity in their life.  Depressed people cannot do this alone because of the compulsion to ruminate endlessly over negative thoughts. It is only through coming together with a group of people like Depressed  Anonymous that they are able to break the cycle of negative thinking. ”

To read more of what therapists have to say about Depressed Anonymous please read  their thoughts in  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. KY.  Page 67-68.  ( The therapist who wrote the above is Ms. Denise List, doing therapy in Louisville, KY.)

As a therapist myself, I have found, as  Denise herself found, that our own struggles with the isolating and painful reality that we call depression, made a difference in our relationship with clients. To have a mutual aid group such as Depressed Anonymous  to which we could  refer them had  special and positive outcomes.

Our manual contains a veritable host of testimonies from persons from all walks of life who found Depressed Anonymous to be the “real deal.”  It is  here where they found acceptance,  tools for recovery and most importantly a safe place to share their story.

Please VISIT the STORE here at our site.  And if you are a therapist reading this now, it would serve your clients well for you to suggest  that they pick up  this book and begin to see and find hope for themselves.

Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Higher Thoughts for Down Days

Waiting for the great Mother

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…it is not until we have lost everything that had cocooned  us from the world (which is very different from what we want it to be) and when we have our back to the wall at the bottom of the pit, that we can confront the stark truth of our life  and our death…and crying in anguish and anger because the magical parent does not come. Instead at the bottom of the pit, we take charge of our lives. ”

Again I am reminded that I am  responsible for my life and the way  I live my life. So often I wanted someone to come  and tell me that everything would be fine and all that I need to do was for them to tell me that everything would be fine. All I needed to do was wait and then everything would be better for me.  This isn’t true. It is only today when I admit that I have become powerless over my depression that I can begin to allow the light into my life. I realize that I can begin the work of reconstruction  in my life today.

Fear of our own death can keep us frightened so that we can’t move beyond it. My rigid and absolute beliefs about life and death both have me imprisoned me. Life is terrible and death is worse. Since I have moved beyond my rigid ways of looking at myself, I am beginning to feel more relaxed as I look at the world in a more real fashion.

MEDITATION

We know that the God of our understanding is ever present waiting and willing to help us with times life these.  The God of our lives will not break down the doors of our resistance to its love , but instead, waits patiently for us to open the door from the inside.”

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SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.  (Thought for today October 3rd. Pages 199-200.)

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE HELPFUL SOLUTIONS FOR GETTING OUT OF THE PIT!

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Purpose

Personal empowerment step by step

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It is with a personal sense of awe that I see the empowerment  that comes to those persons working the 12 Step program of Depressed Anonymous. The empowerment comes to those who  are conscious of the various ways they will have to change if their lives are to grow and  change.  This is of course not without its risks.

One of the major obstacles that we have to face when we are depressed is to be willing to change the way that we think about ourselves, our world, and our future. We have to dwell on and experience our pleasant as well as the unpleasant feelings in the present. We have to be willing to  face the discomfort of living life with a sense of unpredictability. This is not an easy task.  It is a task that can be achieved with time, patience and work.

Empowerment comes from being informed and making choices that help us change our lives for the better. When I come to a Depressed Anonymous meeting I am making the first major step –namely, admitting  by my presence at the group meeting that my life is out of control. My compulsion to depress myself is  at the root of my inability to take the challenge of living life with  risk, hope and  enthusiasm. But how can I say that I want to depress myself?   We are NOT BLAMING ourselves but are taking responsibility  for our own feelings, behavior and thinking. Now that I am conscious of some negative patterns of my own thinking and behavior,  I can get on  with learning new strategies for my own healing. With the heartfelt prayer of a monk, I now understand that it is by sharing the story of my life –and with the conviction that someone is there to listen to me, that this can in  time  deliver me out of my prison of fear and sadness.

I can be empowered by taking the bull by the horn and choosing each new day, one day at a time, where I can  start   feeling  different.  I now have the support of the group –support from people who have walked where I am walking.

I am investing in myself. I am  making my recovery my highest priority.  I may have been on all the antidepressant medications and  I may have seen all the best counselors and psychiatrists and doctors, but now I am coming to a group of depressed persons, men and women–people who will understand me, not judge me,  but will support me. I investing in myself and my future. What will I find there? I will find some of the most caring people on  the face of the earth. Some of the group members will have been coming for months, and week after week,  know that they are gradually feeling different and having more good days than bad.  And it’s getting better for them.  The more meetings they attend the better they feel and the more support they receive from the fellowship.  They are feeling empowered. It’s the miracle of the group. Instead of living with a compulsion to repeat old negative and life negating thinking, we now have a compulsion to live with hope. We  now  have  a desire for a brand new way of thinking. We want to change the way we live — not just the way that we talk to ourselves.

We  are seeking out a new way to live.

I now feel that I am getting better in learning how NOT to repeat my old way of thinking and bashing myself mentally with bad feelings. I am learning how dangerous it is for me to isolate and separate myself from others.    I now know that healing all takes time and with work and patience I will get better.  For most of us, it has taken a few years to get here (depressed) so why not take  time today — focusing  one day at a time — empowering ourselves, and finding the hope and serenity that others like me are living out today in   own lives. Will you join us?

SOURCES:   Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

THE  HOME STUDY KIT, A COMBINATION OF BOTH DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, PLUS THE DEPRESSED ANONMYMOUS WORKBOOK CAN BE PURCHASED TOGETHER. PLEASE CLICK ONTO VISIT THE STORE AND ORDER ONLINE.