Category Archives: Choice

Choice, Courage

Taking a chance

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Years ago I took a chance. It was December 7th, 1982. I made a decision. I made a decision in my own behalf.  I walked into a room where men and women had gathered for a 12 Step meeting of recovery. Truthfully said,  I was scared  that autumnal evening, as I didn’t know what was to transpire the moment I went through the door. I didn’t know who I was to see and what would be said to me. Would I fit in?  This was my first time ever at a 12 step meeting.   I came because they said they had what I needed. Hope. I came into the room, said hello, took a seat and waited for the meeting to start. And still today, 34 years later, I still go  through the door, sit down and wait for the meeting to start. The only thing that has changed for me is that I have changed. I have hope. I have a plan. I have a plan that I put into effect every day of my life. The plan is simply to surrender my will to the will of a Power greater than myself. Nothing that I have tried before has worked but now this daily plan has exceeded my expectations.

You might say you have tried everything  and nothing has ever worked for you. I just knew I was drowning in a sea of guilt, fear and anxiety. The more I touched the nerves of doubt in my mind the deeper the pain became. We all know that the more we ruminate and obsess on our  unpleasant feelings the more unpleasant we are to feel. That is what was happening to me. Gradually my body closed down. The physiological result of these continual obsessive thoughts came to rest in a man’s body  who felt beaten and diminished.

That’s the way it was.  Now, today, I have gratitude for  my  new perspective on life  and thank my Higher Power that I have walked through the door of hope and  serenity. It took time and work and a supportive community to get me where I am today. I am not alone. Neither are you alone. Believe. I am following my plan today, 34 years of one day at a time.

What a gift God has lain  out for me, for you, and all those who feel beaten and diminished.

Trust.

Read all the marvelous stories in  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, Kentucky  for inspiration and direction.

 

Choice, DA Literature, Fear, Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mutual Aid, Spiritual Heroes

SURVIVAL IS TO MEET LIFE’S PROBLEMS HEAD ON!

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AFFIRMATION

I am going to take a fearless and moral inventory of myself today and list on paper my strengths as well as my weaknesses, that is those characteristics in my life that might keep me fearful and depressed,

“Step Four and Five really have to be faced head-on if our depression is to go away. Steps Four and Five are all about cleaning house. We must square off with ourselves and begin the rooting out process that will in time, free us from our sadness and our identity as a depressed person. So often a person depressed is afraid, panic stricken really, in facing some issues that were never their fault in the first place.”

REFLECTION

I see so many people are liberated from their depression the moment they begin to look themselves in the eye and reflect on  their character defects. These persons are the ones who are not afraid to make a list of all the persons they have hurt by their isolating depression and by the thought that they are unacceptable to others and to themselves. By working Step Five which states  that “we admitted to God, ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” I am assured by another person’s acceptance of me that I will get through this time of pain and hurt.

Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous had a spiritual awakening on night as he truly was at the lowest point in his life and begged God to help him. God’s love lit up the room for Bill and he was never the same after that. He was a changed man. I need to make restitution to my family, my friends, my spouse and to whomever for my withdrawing from life and hiding from my responsibilities. This is the work that is needed if I am to get free of the shackles of sadness.

MEDITATION

God, shine the light of your wisdom into our hearts so that you might help us find the way out of our depression and get on with living our  lives the way you would have us live them.  Our fears and anxieties are definitely not the way you would want us to live. You have shown us the way out of our misery by bringing us close to those who once were depressed, but now in recovery, are doing better.”

SOURCES: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for all members of 12 Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous  Publications. Louisville. Page 224/ November 10th.

Now available in the KINDLE format. Check out our STORE for more information as how to order online or snail mail.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Choice, Fellowship

Taking pleasure in simple things

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AFFIRMATION

 

I am going to make an effort today to take pleasure in  some simple  things as I did when I was a child.

“We need to get in touch with these feelings from our childhood days and try to remember when we made ourselves sad and what situation today makes us feel sad. There  sometimes is a connection between the two.  We know this return  to early childhood feelings is one of the best ways to get a beginning  in our self-healing.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I can never forget  how in the third grade I was unable to satisfactorily answer the teacher’s question to me and she immediately told me how I would never by like my brother. I had felt the blood flush to my face as I was humiliated  for not knowing the  right answer. I can still see myself standing in front of the class and feeling like I wanted to die.

The best thing that I can do to overcome the times when I want to run and hide in myself and withdraw from others , is precisely the time that I should be with someone.  I am going to promise myself when these feelings come, I will think of those different persons that I know in my recovery program and call them. When I do this the feelings gradually disappear.

I want to feel better today. In order to do so, I am going to choose to work the Steps  of my program and enjoy the fellowship whenever I am able. Whenever I go to my   Depressed Anonymous meetings, I always come out feeling better.

MEDITATION

I thank God today for all those persons in my life who support me and accept me just as I am today.

____________________________________________________________________

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step  recovery groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville

Choice

Made a decision

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I made a decision years ago, albeit an unconscious one, that the horrible negative thoughts and painful feelings which afflicted me on an ongoing basis  would never change. I am referring to my inability to climb out of bed a morning, the jittery  deadly hollowness that filled my stomach, plus the anxiety of waiting for the “other shoe to drop” which I believed would bring  on some  catastrophic event  to make matters worse in my life.

But, here is  the kicker, I discovered Depressed Anonymous, at the point of personal despair, and found hope in a fellowship of men and women who likewise had made a decision to give up–some even attempting suicide.  But by the grace of God, my surrender to this power greater than myself, brought me into a way out of depression and one that has lasted these many years. I now follow the program of the Twelve Steps where I believe their Promises that if I am serious about following this path, my life will gradually get better and peace will be restored to one’s life. And guess what, that is exactly what happened to me. The same can happen to you as well.

“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.” Step Three of Depressed Anonymous.

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Choice, Focus, Higher Thoughts for Down Days

Living in the security of my hope

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I am choosing to live in the security of my hope rather than in the fear of life’s possible pain.

“…Haven’t our sadness and thoughts of unworthiness been our last refuge from having to face ourselves, take charge and accept responsibility for our own lives? For many, just knowing that that they might have a choice and be able to choose to feel differently can be a startling revelation.  I can choose to be happy or I can choose to stay feeling miserable.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Life is one that provides me with many areas of choice. I can choose to live with the uncertainty of hope or I can stay mired in the despair of having to always have everything predictable. The latter is the hell of my depression.

SOURCE:    Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Fellowship

The price of recovery

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Many times in my past I would ask myself if I could possibly live without my addiction? I always said “yes”, I could–but not just yet. How often I repeated that phrase to myself over the years. Or I’d tell myself “I’ll do it when I feel better.” That was another favorite mantra of mine. Have you ever said those same words to yourself? It’s like if I just keep pushing it off maybe the problem will go away. But, we know that is not how it works. If you are presently reading this and in recovery you know how this recovery really works.

For me, it was told to me that really what recovery is all about is to accept the pain of withdrawal  for the short term or to choose to continually  abuse yourself for the long term. When I have a toothache I can see a dentist and have the tooth and the associated pain   neutralized or I can continue with the pain till it is unbearable and then I  must do something radical and drastic–like pulling the tooth.

I began this whole painful process of recovery with an admission. I admitted that my life was unmanageable and that my life was out of control. That was the first step. And then having admitted that, I  listened to other members of a 12 Step fellowship group and I learned how the  program worked for them.  In fact it worked so well that many of them have not fallen back into any of their old past addictive behaviors. But as you and I know, there is a price to be paid for this new way of living. We first had to admit that we had a problem. We needed help.  And we needed it now. We had hit bottom. We then came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to a life of sanity. Making a decision to turn my life over to a Power greater than myself really got the ball rolling. I now knew that there is a God, of my understanding–and  I wasn’t God. When drinking and drugging we had the feeling that we  could do anything–that we were immortal and God’s gift to humankind.

This is where we had to face all this garbage that was ours and we had carried around for years–we needed to take an inventory of where we had screwed up. This is   painful to have to look in the mirror and see that person who made our life so miserable. No blaming anyone else. As Pogo, the comic character tells us, “we looked for the enemy and it was us.” You don’t have to look very far do you?  We might also look in the mirror and ask, “mirror , mirror who is the craziest of us all?” I think you get it. Without a doubt it is necessary if we want to stand tall and face life past and present with hope. and a sense of peace. There is pain, lots of it –but let me tell you, there is a great sense of relief that we no longer have to live in the shadow of life but now live in the light and the good humor of freedom.   The shackles of bondage are thrown off. I am a person who is free now and able to tell my own story at a fellowship meeting  just like when I walked through the 12 Step fellowship doors and found what I really was looking for: freedom from the pain of my depression and addictions. Look for a freedom group in your area.

SOURCE: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

NOTE: These two books comprise The Home Study Kit. See VISIT THE STORE.

Choice, Hope, Negativity, Step 01, Step 04, The 12 Steps

I’ve had it living with feeling out of control

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If you really want to leave behind your painful sadness, the daily fears, and the feelings of worthlessness, then begin now to admit the unmanageability   of your depression. You have had it with feeling out of control.

That’s the way it is with depression –over the years you get comfortable with feeling miserable which doesn’t mean that you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk something different. When you want to change and leave your depression behind, the choice that you want to make is immediately dashed to the ground because you just feel that there is no hope for you. “I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to feel better,” you tell yourself. Most of the time, we tell ourselves that we’ll do it when we feel better. Folks, let me tell you something – you’ll never feel better until you begin by physically get moving. We all know that we feel better only when we get in gear and get busy – distracting ourselves from those ever present miserable thoughts whispering how bad we are  and how hopeless life seems to be.”

____________________HELP IS ON THE WAY! ___________________________

SOURCE:         Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 32.

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Higher Power, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid

I believe that misery is an option

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“If surrender of our wills to the ‘care of God’ is of the essence of the spiritual life, for anyone who truly desires to free themselves from a chronic and compulsive behavior such as depression, then the Twelve Steps can be your stepping stones to the path of a hope filled life.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I used to hear the word “surrender” as it made me feel like I was in the hands and under the total domination of another.  It was like I had no control whatsoever as to what I was to do or what I was to be. I was blind to the fact that in reality I had already surrendered my life to my sadness so that whenever I wanted to hide, or isolate myself, I just saddened myself and  so didn’t have to feel anything. I am surrendering to the God of my understanding;  slowly my life is filling with light and hope and this is what I really want for myself. I am finding that the ‘care of God’ is much better than anything I could ever  wished for.  My life is one filled with hope rather than being hopeless.

The spiritual life for me is filled with the excitement of knowing that  this God of mine, as I understand him, is  today wanting to lead me further into the light of his healing power. My spiritual life is filled  now with a close and personal relationship with a God who loves and guides me on a minute-to-minute basis.

MEDITATION

We are going to get as close to God today as we choose to get.

SOURCE:  Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 257-258. December 29.

Belief, Choice, Fellowship, Hope

For the first time in 14 years I have hope…

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”  I had always known that  I was hard on myself. I reamed myself every time something bad happened. “Why can’t I find someone to love me?” “Why isn’t God looking after me?”   But for some reason, when I realized that I was doing this to myself, it made me realize that maybe all that I  would have to do is to stop doing it.   All of a sudden it made sense.

If I tell myself negative thoughts, I feel negative. If I tell myself nothing, I feel nothing.  So if I tell myself positive thoughts, eventually I’ll have to feel positive.

Of course I’m still testing it out, but I feel better and for the first time in 14  years I have hope, It’s not that hard to find something positive about myself or my life now. So I remind  myself of something positive every day and that’s what I am going to do until I don’t have to remind myself anymore because I’ll know.”

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To read more by this member of Depressed Anonymous see #9, A VICTIM IN MY OWN MIND in the Personal Stories contained in Depressed Anonymous, pages 120-121.

Also, it’s good to remember as pointed out in the 1st Statement of Belief in Believing is Seeing,  that “I accept and believe that however  hopeless everything appears right now, I will make a decision to recover from depression.  I am not helpless.  I will make a choice  to get better.”

SOURCES: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 (c)Believing is seeing: 15  ways to leave the prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications.

Louisville.

Information for additional literature on Depression and the 12 Steps of recovery is available at   VISIT THE STORE. (See Menu)

Belief, Choice, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Hope

I am choosing to live in the security of my hope rather than in the fear of life’s possible pain

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“…Haven’t our sadness and thoughts of unworthiness been our last refuge from having to face ourselves, take charge and accept responsibility for our own lives? For many, just knowing that they might have a choice and be able to choose to feel differently can be a startling revelation. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to stay feeling miserable.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Life is one that provides me with many areas of choice. I can choose to live with the uncertainty of  hope or I can stay mired in the despair of having to always have everything predictable.  The latter is the hell of my depression.

MEDITATION

We choose to place our trust in you, our God, and to believe that all we can ever have is to be provided with your love and protection in our daily struggles to free ourselves from this continued depression.

SOURCE:   Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.