Category Archives: Hope

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Journaling, Mindfulness, Serenity

Slow down! Road work ahead!

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How often do we see these orange warning signs along our highways? Sometimes it seems that everywhere we go, construction is going on. According to Murphy’s law, they only show up when we are in a hurry to get somewhere else.

In our recovery it is a necessity to read the signs that tell us to slow down. There is road work ahead. As we know or will soon find out recovery is about work, using those tools that are provided for our own healing and serenity.

We slow down, stop and reflect on our lives, examining how certain “triggers” not only slow us down but can “shut us down.” We discover how ruminating on the same negative feelings, produce a mood that continues to stifle us and prevents us from seeing it for what it is, namely a warning for us to make some changes in our behaviors. If we let these moods deepen there is a strong possibility that these negative ruminations can push us deeper into symptoms of depression. Before that happens, starting to use our tools can save us from relapsing or experiencing a recurrence of symptoms and get us back on the road again.

There are many things that can keep us motivated to stay involved in our program of recovery. You can read these for yourself here on our website (depressedanon.com) under the menu, TOOLS FOR RECOVERY. They are welcome tools not only providing help but hope.

You can also reflect on the “slogans” used by those of us in the 12 Step fellowships. I am going to list some of them and hope that you will use these as “mantra’s” or “slogans” for your own recovery and “road work.”

KEEP IT SIMPLE. Don’t complicate your life by over-analyzing or by placing judgments on others thinking or behavior. Don’t double yourself up with doing a hundred different things all at once.

DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING Telling yourself I’ll do it when I feel better never gets it. If you are recovering then go to meetings when you don’t want to or an appointment when you don’t feel like it. If you need to go to work go to work. That is the next right thing. Always be there for yourself and your healing. If you are doing Step work with a sponsor, then do the Step work. Do the next right thing. Put that on your bathroom mirror.

PROGRESS – NOT PERFECTION. Do what you can do and then don’t worry about it. The main thing is not that something you do is perfect –but that you are doing what you can do and doing it to the best of your ability.

CONTROL THE EFFORT-NOT THE OUTCOME. Take responsibility for you all that you do and again do your best. Make the effort. Give it your best shot. “To thine own self first be true.”

BE. HERE. NOW. Be in the present. Yesterday is gone forever. Tomorrow is not here yet. All we have is today. Enjoy the moment. Mindful that there is a God-and it isn’t me!

ONE DAY AT A TIME. We are only given one 24 hour period at a time. Use it well. Keep a journal and list three things that you are grateful for today.

Thank you for doing a little road work for yourself today. I hope that some of what I have written may have motivated you to look deeper into how you can “accept the things that you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

If you would like to read more about depression please go to The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore.

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY

Hugh

Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Hope

I have a plan that is simple with startling results

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Originally published September 30, 2018. Some formatting changes.

Years ago I needed help and I was offered a number of plans/solutions which promised me relief for my particular problem. The plans offered me didn’t seem to work. In my desperation I thought I would try a 12 Step program of recovery. The plan was very simple. Not hard to understand. I tried it. I went to my first meeting and was given hope. All the folks there at the meeting were using the same plan. They talked about how this plan changed their lives. That got my attention. It got my attention because their story was my story. The group provide me with the plan’s list of areas in my life that I needed to look at. The plan, as I mentioned before was simple. Not complicated at all.

Have you ever in your life had to put something together and the thing that you put together came with a plan. It was a blueprint like thing that showed you what the end product would look like. when all the proper instructions were carried out. At this first meeting I made a commitment to follow this plan for 24 hours. Only 24 hours. Hey, not a big deal. I could handle that. So, I took the plan home and started to read the instructions, chapter and verse. It was a simple plan.

Now I had this plan. It was a plan for everyday of my life. I thought wow! is this good or what. That is exactly what I needed. I remember saying to myself, “I hope it works.” It works. Over 30 years later I am using the same plan. It never gets old and stale.

Early on I got some tools to go with the instructions on how to use the plan. The first tool showed me how to admit what was fouled up in my life and to also admit how things were terribly out of hand. In our plan there were all sorts of other tools that I needed to use if I was to get back on my feet. I have to confess some of these tools were not easy to use exactly. I mean there were parts of the plan that I needed to look at more closely than I ever had before. This plan came with a great instruction book that I and others call the Big Book. It spells out not only how to use the tools but what happens when we actively embrace them and put them to use in our daily life.

So, now besides the plan, we have the tools to go along with the instructions. So my life began to change. I began to find serenity in my life and I began to realize that there were things that I need to change in my life and then there were things I knew I couldn’t change. You know, like things that happened to me in then past. The instructions showed me a great way to take care of those issues that up to a time haunted me. I now really feel at home in my own skin now.

Startling results? Well, for sure. And part of the reason for these startling results is besides having a plan–having new tools to use-I was plopped right in the middle of a group of men and women that were using the same plan as I was. Like, we are all on the same page, literally. I was in a fellowship of folks who were telling each other their stories about how the instructions and tools brought them some really fantastic experiences changes in their lives. The first time I set foot in this group, I was promised that certain things were going to happen to me. You know what? They were right. They said that once I had the instructions under my belt, I would want to go and tell others my story. I would want to go and let those still suffering from whatever addiction was killing them, that they could live with the hope that their lives would change, as did mine. By following our plan, using our tools of recovery, and being a part of our fellowship (a 12 Step group) you “will be amazed before you are halfway through”. (the instructions) Again, that’s a Promise!

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. © 2011, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Contact: depanon@netpenny.net for more info.

Hope

Focus On Your Stars – Not Your Scars. Strength Survey

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Updated 29 Dec 2020: The US based ZOOM meetings are no longer being held.

“What do you remember as strengths before being aware that you are depressed? Going to Depressed Anonymous meetings (now on ZOOM and SKYPE) has the potential to restore your sense of proportion about your strong points. At the meetings your friends in the fellowship will begin to tell how you are showing improvement the more you are participating in the meetings. To listen to those who themselves are working the program and who share their lives week after week, you begin to realize that you too can begin to feel differently. Today can be a new start and yes, you do have it within yourself to be that person who is reversing old negative patterns of thinking and replacing them with thoughts of hope and optimism. You now believe that there is hope for yourself. Right now your strength seems to be that of maintaining a habitual way of thinking thoughts of hope. By the fact that you are reading this, takes the strength to want to feel good and continue to maintain a positive recovery. Begin now and reflect on your strengths. Believe that you have a way to maintain them each day. Your personal strengths maintain a personal persistence and desire to continue with gratitude this new feeling of hope.”

As a therapist I would usually start my counseling session with a few questions for the counselee. I would ask them to write down five or six things that they liked about themselves – strengths. Invariably they would sit there, notepad in hand, watching the hand on the wall clock, gradually moving forward. (I might add that this question and answer session would not be too difficult for most of those who came for counseling) But for the depressed, it is a different story. Most could be unable to list any strengths on the list. I would ask them if they needed a little more time? Usually not. I would then tell them that just coming through the door to see a counselor showed immense strength. I told them that seeking help probably is a strength that could open up more doors for their own healing and serenity.

My final session always concluded with the question that started our sessions together – asking them to list all their strengths. The answer this time was quite different. No surprise to me.

Depressed Anonymous meetings can all provide the same help in giving us a look at our newfound strengths. Come to a F2F meeting or an Online meeting and discover this for yourselves. You will be happy that you did.

Resources

Copyright © Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. Hugh Smith. (2020) Louisville. KY. Page 57-59. (The Eleventh Way).
Copyright © The Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Louisville. Ky.
Copyright © Depressed Anonymous,3rd ed. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Fellowship, Hope, Service

What is your middle name?

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No one ever calls me by my middle name. How about you? The only person that used my middle name, which happens to be Louis, was my Dad. And when my Dad used all three of my names, with emphasis upon Louis I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble. Well, that is another story. I haven’t the time nor the wish to go into that at this time. It really has nothing to do with depression. You’re right.

What I want to share today with you is something about who we are as a 12 Step program of recovery. As you may know, people and their families have coat of arms with some fancy pictures of shields, words etc. Here at Depressed Anonymous we too have our coat of arms, let’s for simple sake call them Logo’s. It’s our brand name if you will. Our logo shows footsteps. At the bottom are the words

  • HOPE
  • SERVICE
  • FELLOWSHIP

These words are our mission statement. They tell others who we are and what we are do. First of all we provide hope for those still suffering from depression. That’s what we do. Secondly, we provide service as members of our fellowship. We sponsor ZOOM and SKYPE meetings everyday. When someone calls and is hurting we respond. We have sponsors who help others with their Step Program. We have books and literature for those who are seeking more information on how to help themselves. We provide an email address where we can also be connected with anyone night and day. And finally, we are a fellowship, united in an effort to help others who are depressed and want an online and f2f program of recovery for their own recovery. We are here and we all in the fellowship and are no longer alone. Depression? We get it! We know. We’ve been there and done that. No more. With all of the services that we provide there are no fees or charge. We are all serving others because we ourselves have been served. Served with the opportunity to have HOPE.

So, now you know what middle names are important. They reall give an added dimension to who we are as people. You can call me by my middle Louis if you choose. That will make me feel like family. 🙂

M. Louis S.

Hope, Purpose

Simple is as simple does. – Forrest Gump

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Affirmation

Even though I don’t feel better right now, I am going to make a mental decision to desire to feel better. I have a choice.

“We need to ask ourselves but one short question: Do I now believe or am I willing to believe that there is a power greater than myself.” As soon as a person can say that he or she does believe or is willing to believe, emphatically assure that person that he or she is on their way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that at this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective structure can be built.

Reflection

I have found that the program of the Steps is simple to understand. It is a spiritual program one that doesn’t force me to think of God in pre-established ways. I am truly free to allow the God of my understanding to clear from the path of my life the thoughts and various saddictive ways where I have learned how to depress myself.

I know that the world simple means without a fold. The word denotes a reality that you get what you see. Hopefully I can see that my program of recovery is a most simple one to follow and one to practice in all affairs of my life.

Meditation

We want this God of our understanding to be with us as we face our fears and try to keep my thoughts focused on the here and now, not the pain of yesterday or the fears about tomorrow. (Add your personal comments).

Sources

© Higher Thoughts For Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowships. (1998) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40241. June 7. Online purchases can be made at The Depressed Anonymous Bookstore, at www.depressedanon.com

Choice, Faith, Hope

A Pathway To Hope

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Ray, a member of DA, tells us how to talk about the various parts that make up one’s progress on the path to recovery.

“I think most depression sufferers go through a time of hopelessness. This feeling is very disabling for many of us. But with most problems or illnesses there is always hope. Hope that our problems will be solved or that we will get better. So if hope is part of the solution, how do we find our own path to hope? Before we take that path I think it is important to see how the path is formed.

The first item is choice. We make choices everyday for ourselves, some simple and some complex. These choices may affect us for the rest of our lives, that is, what do I want from my life? What are my goals in life? Our lives are formed and maybe our own meaning of what life is, is revealed to us. So our path is first formed with the choices that we make.

Next comes acceptance. Acceptance for who and what we are, accepting our own ideas, values, feelings and emotions but even more important is accepting the fact that we can change our ideas, values, feelings and emotions. Accepting the fact that these changes can and will be made by ourselves, as other people can’t do that for us. They can only add to or detract from those changes, By accepting our choices and taking responsibility for these choices for our journey on the path of hope has begun.

The third item is trust. Trust in ourselves to make the right choices. Trust, in ourselves to overcome any obstacle we face no matter how difficult it is. Also, trusting another person, especially when that person loves, cares or just believes in us. Trust is important, it tells us we are not alone and we can accept and trust in another to lead us down our chosen path as well as trusting in ourselves.

The last item is faith. Faith in ourselves that things wil be solved even when no answer or situation is in sight or seems impossible. Faith in others to help us when we need help and that they will be there for us. Faith in God or our Higher Power and through Him our anguish, our sorrow, our pain will be lifted. Faith in our path of hope.”

The path of hope for depression sufferers is not easy to build or to find sometimes. That’s why I think it is so important to take your medicine, if medications are prescribed, see your Doctor, counselor, 12 Step sponsor or therapist. Go to a Depressed Anonymous meetng as often as you are able. Remember – when all seems to be lost, there is always hope.

Resource

I’ll Do It When I Feel Better, Hugh Smith. © 2017 Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 66-68.

Please go online and click onto DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS BOOKSTORE for more literature on the 12 Steps and depression. You’ll be happy that you did.

Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship, Hope, Journaling, Love, Meditation, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Purpose, Spirituality, Victim Thinking

That which doesn’t kill you will probably make you stronger – Nietzsche

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Stress  put me in the hospital two years ago. First, pneumonia  put me in the hospital for a week.   Then, following  a diagnosis of clogged arteries with other assorted problems,  open  heart surgery.  Cardio/rehab for 24 straight weeks gave me my life back. But this was not my first experience with stress and /or depression.

Nietzsche had it right. In my case at least.  What made me stronger and saved my life was not only heart surgery but my new way of  dealing with stress. I now see stress for the trouble maker that it really is. The  stress in anyone’s,  continues to impress me how dangerous living under stress, of any kind, can be.

I know that the daily stress that I  had put my mind and body through every day,  every month, gradually destroyed my immune system’s ability to defend against  constant fear, worry and anxiety. Because of the environment  with which I was living in, day after day, finally caught up with me: pneumonia and then open heart surgery. So you might wonder  how can stress do all this damage to your mind and body?

THEN

This takes me back to my first  experience with sadness. It didn’t kill me, but it did force me to look  at my lifestyle, staying in a bad  situation and the ongoing ruminating which poured adrenaline into my veins, hyping up fear   and anxiety day after day.  Finally, all this  weakened not only my body but my mind  as well. My thinking started circling  around  and around as I tried to figure out exactly what the problem was  knocking me off my feet.  Not only that, I couldn’t concentrate. I would read a sentence or so  and then would forget what I had just read. I was always tired.  I always wanted to sleep. I never laughed anymore. My sense of humor went out the door. I started to isolate. I pushed friends away. I always had an excuse for cancelling meetings and appointments. Every morning I woke up, dead on arrival.  No energy. No purpose and nothing to look  forward to. I was losing all spontaneity and replacing it with boredom. I gradually was being sucked down intro the quicksand of futility and hopelessness.

After a year and half of this    pain filled  life I gradually walked out of the fog. I walked at least five miles a day-like a forced march looking forward to regaining my life. That was 1985.

NOW

Now,  I am stronger because I know all the red flags that pop up in my mind, wanting to  suck me back down into that environment which almost killed me in the first place.  I am definitely stronger now that I have a sponsor, a  12 Step   program (Depressed Anonymous) and  a daily plan   for my ongoing recovery.

My heart is stronger now. My commitment to taking good care of myself with proper rest, good healthy food, and physical activity at least three times a week or more. I also know that keeping in touch with those “still suffering from depression” by email, Home Study, website BLOG (depressedanon.com), phone and reading Depressed Anonymous literature.  What we give away comes back in countless ways. For me, continued sobriety and hope!

Resource: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Online Depressed Anonymous International Skype meetings ( Check website Menu for listing and links).

Order online: The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore

Hope, The 12 Steps

What is a sponsor?

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SPONSORSHIP IN 12 STEP PROGRAMS OF RECOVERY

A sponsor, when speaking about 12 Step programs of recovery is a mutual and confidential sharing between two members. A sponsor is a person with whom a member can discuss personal problems or questions, and who will share their experience, strength, and hope in working the program. It is strongly recommended that the person you choose as a sponsor has completed a Fourth and Fifth Step.

Is having a sponsor required? No. Although it is strongly recommended.

Sponsorship is not a relationship to be undertaken lightly. It is good to give it some thought before making the commitment. No one is a perfect sponsor, but avoiding sponsorship denies us a valuable experience for growth. Sponsorship is a form of Twelfth Step service and a way of expressing gratitude for what we have gained in the program.

In finding a Sponsor look for one who:

  1. Has what we want.
  2. Lives in the solution.
  3. Walks the walk.
  4. Has a sponsor.
  5. Emphasizes the Steps.
  6. Has more time in recovery that I do.
  7. Frequency of contact.
  8. Has worked more Steps than we have.
  9. Is available for telephone calls and meetings.
  10. Emphasizes spiritual aspect of the program.
  11. Gender is the same as ours.

Sponsorship is not a permanent relationship. It is okay to change sponsors when felt that the relationship no longer meets our needs. Sponsees deserve to know that they are welcome to change Sponsors whenever they want. Sponsors and sponsees make this point clear at the initial onset of the relationship. Terminate any relationship that is endangering your own recovery. If after thoughtful consideration one person decides to end a sponsorship relationship, it is recommended that the situation be approached with honesty and love.

Benefits of Sponsorship

Sponsors can learn too. The newest member can give insights to those who have been in the program for months or years. The exchange between sponsor and sponsee is a form of communication, which will instruct and nourish both persons.

We are all seeking peace of mind. Having and being a sponsor are important steps towards that goal and becoming what our Higher Power wants us to be –loving and serene people comfortable with ourselves and the world.

Interview the potential sponsor

Discuss mutual expectations. If we discuss our mutual expectations at the beginning, the Sponsorship will go more smoothly. Our goal in interviewing a potential sponsor is to determine how well we will work together. It is possible to have more than one sponsor.

RESOURCE:

“SPONSORSHIP” is a publication of Depressed Anonymous Program of Recovery. This brochure is readily available to all members of the Depressed Anonymous Fellowship as well as the Dep-Anon family and friends fellowship.

“Sponsorship” is a publication of the Depressed Anonymous Publications office, based in Louisville, KY.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Egoism, Fellowship, Hope

I have a program that works!

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AFFIRMATION

I am learning today how to think in more positive terms about myself.

“Once we admit that our depressed thinking is what conditions us to see our world as a hopeless place to live, the more we will try to change the way we think.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

When I was able to admit that I have need of improvement   for some area of my life, things begin to happen. I believe that now I have a program in front of me that can help me to feel better, the more I   use it on a daily basis. As one member of the Twelve Step group, Depressed Anonymous points out, “I had to go and open that door for the first time because there was no other place to go. I had already used up all the hiding places in my life.” Now that we admit we need help, help is on the way.”

It is always difficult to change.  Millions of others are leading lives of peace, sobriety and hope as they place their trust in  their Higher Power and commit themselves to learning how to get better.  They are learning that by having faith in God, themselves and the fellowship of the group, life does indeed get better. I am going to get better, the more I work and live the Twelve Steps.

MEDITATION

O God, we know that our hope in you will make it possible for us to find hope in our lives  every day. That’s a Promise.

RESOURCE

(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

(c)Higher Thoughts for down days. DAP. December 4th, Pages 198-199.

Ordering Online is possible from this website @ The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore.

Hope

I made a daily commitment to keep myself connected to hope!

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One of the ways I  stay connected to the work of recovery is  finding  those thoughts and meditations which speak peace, truth and hope. For that reason a few years back I decided to develop a daily  meditation book for those of us depressed.  Everyday I find and reflect upon  the healthy thinking of persons who live and walk the Steps. Not only would I be in touch with empowering thoughts,  I will also be inspired with words of hope  for daily living.  I knew that my recovery depended on keeping connected with the Steps, those Twelve Spiritual principles that   daily empower me with  positive  thoughts, feelings  and behaviors.

Staying connected with positive thinking inoculates  me  from spiraling downward into that abyss of hopelessness. I am grateful that I not only have these daily meditations to keep me sane and sober but that  I   keep myself  focused on that which provides  my life with meaning and purpose. For that reason I chose to call this daily meditation  Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Some of our Depressed Anonymous  groups use these thoughts  at their weekly meetings. They also serve as   topics for the discussion period in the groups meetings.

I am aware for the first time since I have been working the program of recovery, that my thinking is cylical in that my negative thoughts constantly keep  going around and around in circles. I have found that I need to stop my negative self-destructive thinking that has dogged me most of my life. I am able to break the circle of hurt and my own self-inflicted pain and come to my senses.  I do have some good things going for me and I plan to use these good character traits as building blocks for a future  filled with hope.

I am learning to take good care of myself. I am interested in my own self-care than I am of what others around me want or need. I am not being as selfish as much as I am being concerned about my own growth and development. In the Third Step we declare that “we made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God as we understand God.” To be in the care of someone means that they are concerned about us and are burdened with a concern for us.

MEDITATION

Restore our fortunes O God. Bring back and keep near all those good, empowering thoughts that are producing  hope and meaning for that new life that we live  everyday. Keep us connected to being connected!

(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications . Louisville.KY. November 14. Pages 186-187.

Order books online from the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore at www.depressedanon.com.