Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Choice, Egoism, Stress

Higher Thoughts (positive)are like vitamins! Have you taken yours today?

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Affirmation

I am able right now to read and discover how I can undepress my self.

“… It seems that the physiological changes which accompany fear can have profound effects on the body which lead to a breakdown of the immune system, the system which enables us to throw off  obnoxious substances and viruses. Once this  this system ceases to function efficiently we are laid open to the ravages of all kinds of diseases.”

Reflection

It happens frequently that those who come to the office and say that they have had a cold which they haven’t been able to shake off,   are oftentimes under an undue amount of stress and pressure. The effects of continued worry and tension accumulate over time and should bring with it the effects of an impaired autoimmune system.

My body is made up of various systems all intended to work in conjunction and in harmony with each other. One of the many ways I could work against my stress   and overcome depression is to understand how I set myself up for depression. Sadness and depression aren’t caused just by a few irrational thoughts held over time – – if that was the case, then all of us would be depressed all the time. Depression, to be overcome, has to be understood and the best way to understand it is to begin to see that no matter how unclear is its origins, I’m still unable to do something so that I can undepressed myself.

Meditation

“God, put your hand in our hand and give us the gift of understanding those  areas, past and present in our lives which continue to produce those  thoughts  of self-hate and fear.”

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Personal comments

Source: Copyright ( c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve-Step support groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 41. February 24.

Spirituality

What do you mean when you talk about a spiritual awakening?

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STEP TWELVE OF THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PROGRAM OF RECOVERY

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.”

“Maybe there are as many definitions of spiritual awakening as there are people who have had them. But certainly each genuine  one has something in common with all the others. And these things which they have in common are not too hard to understand. When  a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that  he or she has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he or she could not do before on their unaided strength and resources alone.  He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of conscious and being.  He has been set on a path which tells him that he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered.  In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he has laid hold of a source of strength which, in one way or another, he has hitherto denied himself. He finds himself in possession of a degree of honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, peace of mind, and love of which he had thought himself quite incapable. What he has received is a free gift, and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it.

A.A.,s (D.A’s)   manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our program.”

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Copyright (c) Twelve and Twelve. Pages 106-107. Alcoholics Anonymous World Service, New York. 29th printing.  1998. (Quoted in Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.)

Focus, The 12 Steps

I will live in the solution – not the problem

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“Truly, I know this is where the great security lies, being responsible for myself. If all I did was to sit around and say poor me, and woe is me, I am not only making life tough on myself but I am also making life miserable for those around me. This is why I,   as a writer and therapist, and one who has been depressed, know that it is only when I get moving, even though I felt like death,  that I will began to feel  better. I will now make myself feel better. I want to enjoy this world. I am tired of the pain of blaming anyone for my problems because no one is making me live in  the problem. No one is making me feel worthless. I will live in the solution from now on. The solution for me is working my Twelve Step program of recovery and  I am now willing to face the enemy and start the changing process.

Meditation

Faith can move mountains. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door shall be opened  unto you. I believe this.

SOURCE:  HIGHER  TOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS.  365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step groups. DAP. Louisville. (February 3rd. )

For more information on Depression and the 12 Steps click onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at our website www.depressedanon.com.

 

 

 

 

Fellowship, Love

I am learning how to reinforce my own worth!

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AFFIRMATION

I am getting healthier the more I realize that I don’t have to feel the way I feel and I have the option to feel content and even smile today if I so desire. I will act like I want.  I will  smile even though I don’t feel like smiling.

If you have made yourself a martyr to your unappreciative family, remember the principle of partial reinforcement and apply it to your family. If you are always at their beck and call trying to meet their every demand, they will not appreciate you, but once they find that they cannot rely on you to meet ther demands, they will appreciate what you do for them.” (7)

RELECTION/CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I know that so often those who are codependent and live all the time in everyone else’s feelings need remember that the real maturity and happiness lies in being there for me not for  everyone else. I think that this reflection points out the fact that I need to reinforce my own worth by going to meetings, actively getting involved with my own recovery and putting this recovery over anything or anyone else. If I am going to begin to be a pleasant person, I will want to learn how to be pleasant to myself.

Now is the time and this is the program where I want to detach from other people’s opinions of myself and start to reflect on my own opinions about myself.  When I am depressed, I know that I haven’t been able to get angry, nor able to forgive anyone, much less to forgive myself. I feel totally cheerless. I meet my own demands and continue to work the Steps so as to get in  touch with what I need to do  to reinforce positive concepts that I am forming about myself. I need to get prepared for a new day today.

“We are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust God rather than on our finite selves, just to the extent that we do as we think God would have us do., and humbly rely on him, does he enable us to match calamity with serenity.” (As Bill sees it, p.265).

MEDIATION

When we gradually work our way to our real self we get closer to the God who made us.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of the 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed  Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 14, 15.

 

Fellowship, Purpose, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

You see yourself as a healer instead of victim!

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“The Twelve Steps work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time. Many times we have been so scared of being  rejected that we have withdrawn deeper into the anguish of our shame and hurt.   We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. There is something healing about hearing ourselves speak to others about our own journey in life and the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives were jinxed. But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we have been where  and we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings  regularly, the more we will find members of the group telling us how they are seeing a change in the way we act, talk, and look. We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they all have been wher e we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work this program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out  to others in the group, it is at this point that you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed  Anonymous. ”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 105.

Belief, Fellowship, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Victim Thinking

I will face my fears!

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I will take another small step in my own recovery  and face any uncomfortable  fears that arises. I will face it and let go.

“I had to surrender to God, quit controlling everything and everyone, including God.  Let go and let God.” (8 )

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To think of letting go of my depression is like telling a drowning man to let go of his life jacket. When we have been depressed for so many years and this is all we know, we don’t know what to make of someone telling us to let go and surrender this experience to God.

I also know that for me to be in control, either by my sadness at home or my attempts to control every member of the family, I know that this keeps me from having to face all the pain in my own life. My thoughts don’t flow the way other peoples’ thoughts flow. My thoughts continually flow in a stream of heavy blackness. The blackness has always been part of my life and I feel that there is no way to escape it.  The only way out for me now is to “admit that I am powerless over my depression and that my life is unmanageable.”

I know that in the program there is much talk about giving over one’s life to a Higher Power and letting it guide us.  It’s somewhat like we are going down the road of life and we see a large narrow bridge which is spanning a river before us. We see the bridge and  can even see the other side but instead of crossing over we get out of our car, go down the embankment and begin to swim across to the other side. Depression and our own feelings of unworthiness won’t allow us to risk a way out of our sadness. Like so many life situations, the answers are hidden there in plain sight.

 

MEDITATION

We used to believe that our God was a God of wrath. We needed to believe that,  because we were feeling so bad, evil, worthless and unacceptable about ourselves. Now we believe God’s supply of love is endless. (See Step #3).

Affirmations, Exercise, Fellowship, Purpose

Sisyphus and his rock.

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There is an ancient Greek myth about a greedy King (Sisyphus)  from Corinth who was sent to Hades (hell) and who spent all eternity pushing a heavy rock up the hill, only to have the rock roll down again.

What do I make of this myth? What meaning can we give to it? What is its message?  And how can I relate it to my own life?

First of all, it has all sorts of meaning for all sorts of situations in my own life. I like to think of the story about Sisyphus and his rock much like my own story and struggles with the “rock” that I keep pushing up the hill. That rock was my struggle with  depression which  always seemed to be a part of my daily existence. Everyday, I just knew that it was time for me to face the rock and start pushing.   In time, the thought of facing another day with my hands on the rock gradually wore me down. I was exhausted.

I couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings. I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t think a coherent thought. My nerves were in revolt and my anxiety precluded any sort of activity that might help me escape my rock pushing. I began to feel hopeless and too helpless to walk away from this rock which was  chained to my mind, body and spirit.  I felt I had no choice but to get up and push the rock.

This started me to force myself to walk each day, and without thinking about the rock. It was like I was distracted from thinking about anything while I walked. And so in time, with my daily walks, I found that my rock grew smaller and smaller. And then one day, I reached the top of the hill without my rock. I was free. I felt free. I felt that my time in hell had ended.  (Read: I’ll do it when I feel better. Depressed Anonymous Publications).

Over the years I have found other tools besides that of walking in dealing with my depression. I founded a group, called Depressed Anonymous, where all the various shapes and forms of Sisyphus could gather, share their hopes, and their  victories and discard their rocks. I knew that being all alone in one’s hell, made life even more unbearable. But with a group of persons together, all with their own situations and experiences could get the strength to find their way out of this rock pushing bondage  .

All in all, I have found that when you get together with others like yourself, and you share your stories, things start to change.  You finally feel accepted, and made welcome  as you share your own rock pushing over the years, months, even a lifetime. We all can check our “rocks” at the door as we discuss ways out of our misery,  week after week .

For more information please check out our stories in our manual Depressed Anonymous, which by the way, is written by those of us who have been depressed and are in recovery, attending Depressed Meetings week after week. And if there is no meeting in our community we can also participate in our Home Study Program of Recovery, accompanied by an online sponsor.

Click onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for  learning more about who we are and what we do.  If you choose you can order online from our website at depressedanon.com.

Join us here everyday as we continue sharing our serenity and our hope online at our BLOG: Depressed Anonymous.

 

Acceptance, Denial

I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed. That seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me

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           A Medley of Depression Stories. 2017. (With permission of the author Deborah Sanford.) This work can be found available  at Amazon.com.

                               Cindy’s Story of regrets.

”  I am realizing what a young woman I was when I had my kids. Now at 32 with 13 and 11 year old sons, I can barely find the energy to just live through today. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulder to raise them, to teach them morals and care for them and keep them out of trouble.  Since both are diagnosed ADHD, I spend a great deal of time at the school fighting the administration on their behalf. It is exhausting. I hear myself saying in my thoughts: “I just want it to be over.” I feel depressed so often. I think how I just want to run away and leave my husband to raise them. When will  it ever be time for me? Their father works all the time. I would on most day’s trade places with him gladly. The house stays a mess. and their dishes, cups and glasses stay  seated where they leave them. It  doesn’t seem fair.  I don’t remember asking for this job. How could a busy robust life turn into this?  I can’t find the hope to be anything or do anything anymore. By the time I get them raised I will not qualify for any jobs except  spreading peanut butter and jelly on bread!  Some days I think I just could start over but I know I can’t go back 14 years ago. I love my boys to pieces but, I feel so trapped, so hopeless and so valueless. After this ongoing heavy feeling of hopelessness, I found a good therapist who also told me about a local Depressed Anonymous meeting for depression. I have to say I never really admitted I was depressed, that seemed too heavy and embarrassing to me. I didn’t think I was depressed anyway to even search for a depression meeting. I just thought everything in my life was just wrong and messed up. And I just needed  to “figure how to fix it.”   She (therapist) assured me that I had fallen into a depression and that a support group would really benefit me! She was right! I can’t find the words for how much the Depressed Anonymous meetings have helped me. I have been able with help to put things into perspective. I’ve learned to take it one day  at a time. The boys are teenagers and truthfully I wouldn’t have them but for a few more years. I want to treasure the little bit of time left that I will have. And my therapist encouraged me to hire a housekeeper for just three hours a week to mop and catch up laundry  and dishes. My problems are solvable! Thank God! I haven’t  felt trapped and stuck for quite a while now. My husband is always going to have to work long hours but my life has become more manageable in the meantime. And I have met new friends at the support  group who have kids and feel like I was feeling. It’s so nice to be able to relate to them. I am so very grateful for Depressed Anonymous.”

–Cindy is a member of Depressed Anonymous. Her story is part of a collection of 35 stories,  all centered on persons depressed who have found   help and hope in the fellowship of Depressed 

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NOTE: The author, Debra Sanford, is the Founder of Depressed Anonymous groups in the North Carolina communities of Elizabeth City and Edenton, NC.  We thank her for the permission to post this inspiring story on our Blog today.

  SOURCE: Below you can   get more information  on the new book,  (c) A Medley of Depression Stories.

                        https://the depression stories. wordpress.com/

                        Email: the depressionstories@gmail.com

 

 

Fellowship, Hope, Victim Thinking

Today, I will begin to dig myself out of the deep hole that is depression.

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On this New Year’s Day, I find that my work for my life today, and only today, is to reflect on a time in my life that I have experienced a feeling of happiness and contentment. If I can remember a pleasant situation form the past, I will construct a happy situation and imagine it occurring right now.

In getting my priorities straight, my feelings of depression lessened.

Clarification of Thought

In my relationship to God, I am beginning to realize that it isn’t so much that I believe  that I’ll ever feel better, but that I just can’t know for sure.  My first priority is to admit that I have a problem and that with God’s help  I can get through my depression.

As soon as I give up my victim stance and begin to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I can start to work as if my recovery is really up to me and that I will, in time, succeed in getting out of this deep hole that I call depression. My priority is to begin each day with the conviction that the Twelve Steps will be an aid in getting out of my depression.

MEDITATION

God, we seek your guidance and your strength for our lives. Whatever we have lost or feel we have lost, please heal the holes in our souls and fill them with your love and peace. In our quiet time today, show us what part of us needs to be healed.” See Steps 1, 2, 3.

SOURCE:   Copyright(c)  Smith, Hugh. Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowships.  Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville, KY. Page 1.

Acceptance, Powerlessness

My best thinking got me to where I am today

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Most persons, once they sober up, get on the path of sobriety and start the hard work of recovery, realizing that all their excuses and delays of finding help, illustrate the insanity of their thinking. How often did I say to myself  (my best thinking?) that “I don’t need help, I can beat this demon on my own.”

In our Depressed Anonymous Manual for recovery from depression, I was told on a number of occasions by some very suicidal and depressed people, “No, I’m alright, I can handle this.” The tragedy here is that two weeks later, my friend killed himself.  Of course, he was thinking that he surely could quit this drug that had him paralyzed and helpless. He was in a dark pit of hopelessness.  He  wasn’t  paralyzed because he had shackles around his legs,  but he was immobilized because of his denial that he needed help.

My situation was pretty much the same as my friends. But thank goodness because of my being cited for driving while intoxicated that I was forced by my boss to go get help  (AA) or check myself in at an in patient treatment facility. I was given a choice: choose one or the other or lose my job. I chose the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and was given the tools to live a life filled with hope.

What works for any addiction and compulsive behavior/thinking  also works for someone depressed and suicidal.  I know, been there and done that. Try it. Happy New year! Have a happy new life.

Hugh