Category Archives: Stinking Thinking

Despair

BEAGLES/RABBITS/CIRCLES

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What do beagles, rabbits and circles have in common?  I know you must be curious. Well, first of all, let me tell you that when I was growing up in a small community in Indiana, my Grandpa took my brother and I hunting. We hunted a lot. We mainly hunted squirrels and rabbits.  Grandpa also had some great help when hunting the rabbits. He had the assistance of Red and Dukie. They were awesome beagles!   When you are out in the wild hunting rabbits it always helps to have your helpers stirring up trouble. That is where the beagles come in. They always made things happen. When you heard the beagles with their high pitch cries you just knew the rabbits had been found out. Here is where the circle come in. Maybe you are aware or maybe you are not aware that when rabbits are running away from danger, they appear  to run in a circle. How do I know this? My grandpa told me. So one morning we three, my brother, Grandpa and myself heard Red and Dukie starting  their high pitched cries, Suddenly through the opening in the brush, two rabbits whizzed past, right in front of us. Then here come the beagles in hot pursuit right behind them.  Grandpa told me to stand on a stump facing the opening. He told us that they might come back this way. The cries of the beagles grew faint —  but not for long, as Red and Dukie’s cries started to increase in volume. And then, presto!  first one rabbit came through the brush, and then the second, I raised my shotgun,  fired a shot  at the second rabbit and missed. Those rabbits for some reason made a full circle and there they were again. I missed my chance.

So that was the day when I learned how some animals, who knows maybe all animals tend to run in circles. I do know that when I had gotten lost hunting squirrels and thought I was heading away from where I started I found myself back in the spot at which I started. What is it I thought? Why do we go in circles–does it have to do  with a dominant foot always turning us left or right?

Somebody smarter than me will have to help me here with this one.

With my symptoms of depression, I too keep circling trying to figure out in my head why I am depressed. The more I spiral downward in the unending circle of despair, the more I return  to those many places I have been before. None of these places gave me comfort or answers to the why I am depressed–only the fact that I have been here before. The mind when burdened appears to run in circles as well. What’s chasing us?

Hugh

The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

1/1/2015 GETTING MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!

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AFFIRMATION

On this New Year’s day, I find that my work for my life today, and only today, is to reflect on a time in my life that I have experienced a feeling of happiness and contentment.  If I can’t remember  a pleasant situation for the past, I will construct a happy situation and imagine it occurring right now.

“In getting my priorities straight, my depression got better.”

REFLECTION

In my relationship to God, I am beginning to realize that it isn’t so much that I don’t believe that I’ll ever feel better, but that I just can’t know for sure.  My first priority is to admit that I do have a problem  and that with God’s help, I can get through my depression.

As soon as I give up my victim stance and begin to take responsibility for my feelings and my life, I can start to work as if my recovery is really up to me and that I will, in time, succeed in getting out of this deep dark hole that I call depression. My priority is to begin each day with the conviction that the Twelve Steps will be an aid in getting out of my depression.

MEDITATION

God, we seek your guidance and your strength for our lives. Whatever we have lost or feel we have lost, please heal the holes in our soles and fill them with your love and peace, in our quiet time today, show us what part of us needs to be healed. Give us that spiritual  nudge which gets our life’s priorities straight.

Acceptance, Choice, Depressed Anonymous, Mutual Aid, Negativity, Purpose, Step 01, Step 02, The 12 Steps

Listen To How You Talk To Yourself – Do You Like What You Hear?

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AFFIRMATION

I will let go of the negative thoughts about myself as soon as I am conscious that I am experiencing them.

“…try to live one day at a time.. We know from experience that our sobriety , our disappearance from sadness is due to letting go, admitting our powerlessness  (Step 1) and coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity (Step 2).

REFLECTION

I know that I have to continue to work on myself and the way that I speak to myself on an ongoing and daily basis. My letting go and letting  God take over my life doesn’t mean that  I’ll just sit back and let it do all the work, no, it means that I will work on myself and leave the outcome up to my Higher Power. I know that my life can be lived differently if I just make an effort to choose to be conscious of the thoughts  that I let myself ruminate and think  about during the day. The more I monitor my thoughts, the more I am able to filter out the negative thoughts and have them replaced with positive and constructive thoughts. We call them SUNSPOTS (Depressed Anonymous).

So often when I am depressed I continue a thinking style that was learned as a small child. I am not even conscious as to how I would  always select the negative attributes about myself to reflect upon instead of attempting to think positive and hopeful thoughts about myself and relationships. The more I believe that I have a choice as to how I am to feel, the more I become conscious of the thoughts that influence the way I feel.

Going to a mutual aid group, which focuses on depression, enables us to share with others how we talk to ourselves and what we tell ourselves, day after day. Do we like what we hear when we share with others our continued negative thinking? I would think not.

MEDITATION FOR TODAY

God, let us just for today, dwell on your mercy and kindness. Your are not the harsh judge of my childhood. You are the God who loves us just the way we are. God is like the Mother who continues to love the child of her womb.

SOURCE: HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS(C) December 14.

Addiction, Depressed Anonymous, Prayer, Purpose, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!

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It takes one to know one is  true. Following my own depression experience and the setting up of Depressed Anonymous groups did I realize that I had an experience which could be used to help others. I knew what it felt like to suffer  the physical symptoms of depression.  Following the attainment of my Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, I discovered many in my practice  came  seeking help to overcome their  depression. Gradually it dawned on me that I could  be a source of support  to others — just by sharing my own struggle with depression.  Once I shared with my clients my own battles with the dark monster, it became clear by sharing my own  story that they began to open up about their own battle with the dark monster. My clients found someone who could not only relate to their own story about isolation, shame and the continual physical pain caused by depression–but they heard how helplessness and despair had given way to hope! My own story validated their story.  That it takes one to know one is so true.

This is where Bill W., (co-founder of AA) learned the greatest lesson, namely that an addict will be more open to listen to some one who has or is fighting the  same battles that you are fighting. And the best is that by using the program of recovery that we have used and still use  today, might find  life starting to be lived with serenity and hope.

It is not complicated. Here it is, laid out simply and to the point. I was once severely depressed and now I am not. How did this happen one will ask? It happened by believing that by being part of a fellowship of people just like myself  and following a way of life, marked out step by step, that I, like Bill W., and all other addicts will see how with  our belief that I  can get better,  get better. It does take work and time. We learn to not live in our past -it’s gone forever- and not to live in the future–but to live in the now, today. All we have is this 24 hour period.  As the Yiddish saying goes, “to share my story is to save my life.” It’s so true. When I discovered the 12 Steps, shared my story and made prayer and meditation a  part of  my daily routine,  I began to taste the freedom  that comes with that ‘spiritual awakening’ which occurs when we are able to share our story with those still suffering. The depressed newcomer will know that you are the “real deal.”  And if you are fortunate enough to find a group in your locale you then will find out what we all have all discovered–it takes one to know one.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fear

WHAT DO I BELIEVE ABOUT MYSELF?

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Yes, what we believe about ourselves can and does make all the difference in the world. Yesterday we were sharing how certain people, places, situations and things have had power over our lives. Even those earlier and long forgotten relationships with significant others are still kicking around in our psyche’s.
As we continue to work through these relationships and attitudes about ourselves (less than) the following quote from our Depressed Anonymous Workbook says it best:
” We have given ourselves over to the belief that this growing feeling of helplessness is what must govern our lives, moods and behavior. We have given it license to run roughshod over every part of our life and over our relationships. Most people can’t see inside us and discover the pain that makes up every waking moment. For the most part we are able to hide how miserable we feel.” Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Step 2/ Page 12.
What power have you given over to others that you are willing to reclaim? And speaking of power–what Power greater than yourself are you able to turn to when you feel hopeless and helpless? And this power, has it been able to help you feel more in control of your life? Just some things to ponder today.

Fellowship, Mutual Aid, Negativity, Powerlessness, Purpose

THE GOOD AND BAD IMPLICATIONS OF DEPRESSION

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If you believe that you had nothing to do with your depression,  then the good implication is that you didn’t cause it.  The bad implication is if you didn’t cause it then you could get it again, like the flu or the cold.  But since depression isn’t a cold or a flu virus or germ we will try taking responsibility for our depression and its symptoms and go from there.  The quickest answer to that is that it may lead me to take full responsibility for anyway that I can to overcome depression –this may mean taking the medication to reduce the negative symptoms, seek talk therapy, and then be part of a beloved community –a self help group where they know us by name. It is here that people like us will take the time to guide us toward the light where we can find safety, security and people like ourselves who will not tell us to “snap out of it.”

It is now the time to ask yourselves how you can best take responsibility for yourself.  Formulating a daily plan, an activity, a pleasant activity, a feeling of finally getting control over your life which you felt that you never had. Also, planning one or more pleasant activities everyday into your life is a good way to plan your day instead of your day planning you.

To examine the good and the bad implications of depression as outlined briefly above is just another way to continue clarifying our thoughts on how well we  are taking responsibility for our lives.

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Copyright(c) Shining a light on the dark night of the soul. DAP  Pages 16=-17(  Excerpts)

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Negativity

THREE OF THE WORLD’S WORST EXCUSES. HOW WE RESIST CHANGE WITH OUR NEGATIVE SELF TALK!

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” But I’ve always done it this way.”

“But I have always been this way.”

“This is just how I am.”

Stuck!  How often does someone tell us one of the above excuses or all of the above on first showing up at a Depressed Anonymous meeting.  They tell us that they are “sick and tired of being sick and tired.”  They come to those of us who have said the same thing in the past. Like those  who stick with the fellowship of persons like themselves, persons depressed, they learn how   our lives were before participating in our program of recovery and how our life is today.  The change that we talk about is like night and day.   The BEFORE describes a life of darkness and despair and the NOW describes a   life filled with light and hope.

Now, by using the four stage process of change: 1. Be aware 2) Be motivating 3) Be doing 4) Be maintaining  we can examine our past. We begin to see how our excuses which keep us imprisoned in depression many times originate growing up in a dysfunctional family. This  loss of trust and love and in   some cases,  even loss of provision for basic survival needs such as food, shelter and physical  safety, conditions us to a feeling of being helpless and depressed. Sometimes this chronic depression is masked and defended against by compulsive activity and perfectionistic kinds of striving. Becoming “tireless” and “limitless caretakers of others defends a person against his or her own neediness and yearning to be care for.

So, how can we promote a positive change? How does this change come about?  Well, first of all, we admit we have a problem. For some of us, a life-threatening problem. We became aware something is wrong. Then  we believed that we had to do something about this problem. We came to the DA group. We discovered that the members of the group learned how  to motivate themselves and get into action. We found a way that gave us hope. We found a map that continues to lead us out of the darkness.  Finally, one’s motivation is followed by action. We got into action  and   continued to find ways to change ourselves.  We have the tools  to change our selves,  one Step at a time. We are no longer alone. No more excuses.  We now have a solution.  How about you?

Mania, The 12 Steps

Remember that an oak tree was once an acorn. Recovery means taking one step at a time.

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11/20/2014

AFFIRMATION

I am growing in my faith in myself and believing that today is going to be a better day than was yesterday. That’s a promise!

“Remember that an oak tree  once was an acorn, recovery begins by taking one step at a time and accepting responsibility for moving from depression into peace and serenity.”

REFLECTION

How often must I learn not to get caught up in the mania of racing thoughts and flights of grandiosity as I flee from the depths of my sadness. I will not run from my sadness but, instead, will focus on the fact that that I have to stake my claim and say, this is it. I am going to get well, starting right now. When I was manic I feel panicky and very jittery, but  when I am depressed or feel myself slipping down into the abyss of darkness.  I run as fast as I can until I no longer can stop my racing thoughts nor find an end to the obsession of wanting complete perfection in everything that I do.

What this means is that I am going to believe that I am about to be released from a terminal illness. My sadness has dogged me throughout my life. I no longer am willing to give in to  this Black Dog of sadness often labeled as “melancholia”. I have tried  all the pills  to rid myself from the anxiety of my soul until there were no more pills, no more solutions and no more avenues of escape.  I could escape the pain from time to time, but not a lifetime of hurtful human experience. I am taking one step at a time — recovery is what my day is about today! The steps are my solution.

MEDITATION

God, you call each of us by name. Give us the power to name anything that is blocking us from growing in the wisdom of your will for us today. Lead us in your peace, today.

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days:365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for Members of  12 step Fellowship Groups. Depressed Anonymous Groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pgs. 230-231.

Egoism, Fellowship, Isolation, Spirituality, Step 01, The 12 Steps

DEPRESSION: Only the concern of the lone sufferer or is it a harbinger of a societal (community) problem?

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Remember the canary in the coal mine? The canary, carried by miners into the mine was the first one to smell potential disaster, alerting miners to get out of that mine. Today, with so much emphasis on medical treatments, David Karp, a sociologist, in “Speaking of Sadness” comments in his chapter Sociology, Spirituality and Suffering that “once individuals realize that medical treatment is unlikely to fix their problems, their thinking moves away from the medical language of cure toward the spiritual language of transformation.” He also tells us that “…(T)he Iroquois Indians, for example, believed that when any single person suffered, it reflected the suffering of nature, of the whole world, in fact.” The reality is that all life is interconnected with other living organisms. We see this illustrated best when a culture becomes narcissistic and centered primarily on the individual. Karp maintains that “the social disconnection generated by an ethic of individualism is an important element in the proliferation of affective disorders in America.”
While I believe that medications can alleviate the pain of some of those who are depressed and seek clinical help, the meds in themselves cannot remove whatever caused the pain, or the initial hurt. But the depression itself will allow us to take a deeper look at how we live out our lives. And for this reason that is why I am an advocate for mutual-aid groups where persons can come together, form community/fellowships and follow a procedure for healing ourselves while assisting in the healing of other members of the community.
The first step of Depressed Anonymous states that “We admitted…” and in Steps three, eight, ten, eleven, twelve again the word “we” is used. If anyone wants to find a community and a spiritual antidote to individualism, the 12 step fellowships provide a solution focused recovery program. I am an advocate for 12 step programs based on helping each other out of isolation into a fellowship of hope and healing. No longer is it just about me, me alone, but about something bigger than just me .It is a “we” program.
We are all connected!

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Isolation, Negativity, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

I Made A Decision

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Back in the last century I made a decision that continues to direct my life today and everyday. That decision was that I needed help. I needed to know how to free myself from an addiction to a substance that was gradually killing me. The only place that I knew that might offer me some help would be a local AA group. Frightfully, but expectantly, I walked through the door of my first 12 step meeting. The power that was greater than me–was the group of men and women who were meeting to talk about a solution–namely, to their addiction to alcohol. I felt at home. Well, not totally at home–but I did find acceptance for me and my particular addiction. They presented me with a toolbox–not material tools–but spiritual tools that I use to keep myself free of my desire and craving for alcohol. We call them the 12 steps.
That was in 1982, December 7th. And then three years later I became depressed and I applied the steps to my depression experience, which likewise was killing me. I got out my tool box and began applying the same tools as I had applied to my other addiction and found I again had a solution to my twisted and distorted thinking. It was only after I admitted that I had a problem, and my life was unmanageable, did I find a way out. My Higher Power leads the way, day after day, month after month and year after year. If you want to learn more about how YOU can make a decision, find the tools and keep your attention focused on the solution oriented 12 steps, then you let us know. We want to share with you our story and how it was before in our life and how it is now.
Looking to find that toolbox? We can help. Don’t give up. Look us up and give us a call.