Category Archives: Fellowship

Fellowship, Love, Mindfulness

The gift that just keeps on giving!

Leave a comment

“These Twelve Step;s work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time.  Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more that we have withdrawn deeper into  the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story.  There is something healing  about hearing ourselves speak to others about  our own journey in life and the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives were jinxed. But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings regularly, the more we will find members of  the group telling us how they are seeing a change in the way we act, talk  and look.  We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they all have been where  we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work the program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out to others in the group, it is at that point thay you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed Anonymous. ”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 105.

The last Step of the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous says it best for those of us who  now want to be that “gift that keeps on giving.” and become bearers of HOPE.

STEP TWELVE of   the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS FELLOWSHIP

“Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we  tried to carry this message to the depressed,  and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, Journaling, Love

I need a manual on how to live life!

Leave a comment

The other day I noticed that one of my head lights was out. I thought why spend good money and have a mechanic fix this thing? I will just find a manual that fits the make and year of my car and do it myself. So that is what I did. It worked perfectly and I saved my self some grief from a mechanic’s bill.

Before this situation I was visiting my mechanic about a problem that I knew I could not fix and so I went into the garage and found him under the hood peering intently into the car’s engine. At the same time, he was reading carefully from a manual, spread out over the engine illustrating the engine parts with pictures and text. I thought, wow! just like my wife when she is cooking up a new dish. Her new dish was illustrated with pictures and text, giving step by step directions for giving her latest creation new life. Many times at a 12 Step group meeting how many times that I felt I needed a manual on how to live life successfully. When you are born, your Mom didn’t get a manual from the doctor telling her how her new creation was to live his/her life.

Fast forward to adolescence and young adulthood or even as an older adult in retirement. In the midst of living out our life there may come a time when we are baffled, surprised about a personal condition that we find we have no control. In our mind we try and figure out what is wrong with us. What is happening to us. And for the sake of an example, which I personally know best–been there done that–I painfully discovered I was depressed and getting myself deeper into the dark pit as I continued to ruminate uselessly on what I had and how to escape this terrible pain. The more I ruminated and worried the more I isolated myself. I wanted to know if I was losing my mind, had a brain cancer or some new and incurable disease.

Because I already was a member of another12 Step program of recovery, it was obvious, that the Big Book of their fellowship, outlined step by step the nature of our illness and gave a detailed program of recovery on how to live with the interminable effects and symptoms of my illness. The manual worked whereas before I was powerless to get anything to work for me that could change my life.

And then Depressed Anonymous was founded and I soon discovered there was a manual for this illness that was working for other persons depressed so why couldn’t it work for me. It was depression that seemed to have me by the throat with its innumerable symptoms. Just as those who put out cook books with hundreds of recipes, I found the perfect recipe, or detailed instructions, on how to leave the prison of my depression. And the best part of this Manual, Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, was that there was a group discussion meeting that talked about these helpful and healing instructions. If you were experiencing depression these steps would work for any one else as well.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want you, the reader, to think we are minimizing the “life threatening “ issues that go with the depression experience by using the mechanic and cook book analogies. But if I had not had access to this Manual with its detailed information on how to get well and to feel better ( by the way–all our material is written by people like me–depressed and in recovery), I probably would have struggled longer and who knows what would have become of me.

Our recipe for wellness can be located at The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Also go to the Website Menu (depressedanon.com) and check out our HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Anyone can use this Manual, Depressed Anonymous and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook together if a Depressed Anonymous group is not in one’s area.

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

“Depressed Anonymous is a light to guide me.”

Leave a comment

Dear All,

I have been very busy lately, out living life, and I wanted  y’all  to know that just being on this Blog subscription list and reading the shares and the “Big Book” of Depressed Anonymous has helped me tremendously to not fall into depression in blind denial as was my custom,. Two things are helping  me.

“do the next right thing”

“motivation follows action”

Thank you so much for being here!

Also for the first time I can handle flashbacks from PTSD more easily because I am not depressed. I even had more repressed memory come up. I was depressed for about a day and a half and then got sick of it and got up and went back to my daily life. It  is a miracle! Thank you, thank you, thank you…I believe I am  on the path that leads to depression being something that I used to struggle with so mightily. I don’t think I’m cured, just that Depressed Anonymous is a light to guide me, to keep  me on the path to wellness….

Trish.”

The Antidepressant Tablet.

A     Comment

Thanks to you Trish,  for your thoughts and your enthusiastic response to the  power of the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous at work in your own  life.  And yes, the mutual aid support group  which we  fondly know  as Depressed Anonymous  group  has participants thought out the world.  It  has come a long way since it was founded in 1985, Truly, the group is like the “mustard seed” of the Gospels. Our BIG BOOK  is being translated into Dutch, Spanish, Iranian(Persian). It has already been translated into Russian and now made available to those in Eastern Europe who speak Russian.

All of us who use  the Steps of recovery can give thanks to Bill W., and Bob S., the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (1939).All of us in the program continue to stand on the shoulders of these two giants, plus those who were the first members of this healing initiative.

I personally can say that my own recovery and the life I lead now  would not have been possible if I had not become a member  of a 12 Step  recovery program and lived my life around the Promises of the Steps.

You might want to participate in our online HOME STUDY PROGRAM  where you will be able to work your own program using the DA Workbook and Manual (BIG BOOK). The online program works via emails and  correspondence that are set up between you and the sponsor.

You can find out more about this personal recovery effort by clicking onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications website  www.depressedanon.com. At the Site menu, you can use the drop down individual menu HOME STUDY PROGRAM, and learn how to order the materials and then start your own program using these two books. Trish, would be happy that you will find the serenity and hope that she has found.

Hugh

 

Choice, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Journaling, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

If you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one bite at a time

Leave a comment

 

The following quotation is taken from our “Big Book” Depressed Anonymous (3rd edition) as it appears on page 95.

“All of us who are substance addicted (compulsivre overeating, alcohol, cocaine, pre- scription medication) or process addicted–addicted to a behavior ( the workaholic, sex, gambling, depression) know that in order to free ourselves from the intoxicating experience, we have to first want to give it up and live without it.  We best do this   one day or one hour at a time. Don’t say you will quit a self-destructive behavior for one year at a time and see how you do. No, trying to live one day at a time is a lot easier.  As someone once said “if you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one day at a time.” We know from past experience that our  sobriety, our disappearance of sadness is due to letting go and admitting my powerlessness over my sadness. It  is turning it over to my Higher Power and letting it take care of my sadness. I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to live without it.”

***

If you happen to be part of our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY, you will want to turn to page 80 of the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both the Manual and the Workbook come together as important tools in overcoming our attachment to the ruminations and isolation that depression brings upon us.

“All of our efforts so far in this Workbook have been directed toward overcoming  –cleaning house if you will —so that our will might be properly disposed to God’s will and that we might feel free and no longer hopeless. We know that our enthusiasm to change will grow the more we desire that change. The more we change the more  we will cast off the shackles from our lives that keep us imprisoned and isolated.”

COMMENT  Like the quote of how to eat an elephant, we also are most aware that you can’t just wish to get rid  of an obsession or addiction, it takes time and work–one day at a time. There is no easy or comfortable way to battle our demons except through work, prayer and meditation. And for me, one of the best ways to overcome my addictions is to use the 12 spiritual principles of the 12 Steps every day of my life. And again, it’s one bite, one step at a time.  Don’t wait. Do something today. Don’t tell yourself the lie, “I’ll do it when I feel better.” Take the plunge.  If there is no meeting in your  community then work with a DA sponsor/guide and participate in our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. Go to the main site depressedanon.com  menu under the title HOME STUDY PROGRAM. The program is operating presently.

****

SOURCES:   The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous          Publications. Louisville. Page 80.

                             Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 95.

Please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more helpful literature on THE HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY  and information on how to order online.

If you would like to participate in the Home Study, please contact the director at Depanon@netpenny.net. Thank you.

 

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship

When I am “powerless” I feel out of control

Leave a comment

During my depression   I was “powerless“.  I no longer had the ability to bounce back from my ongoing ruminations about how bad I felt. The more that I tried to figure out why I was feeling so bad and horrible,  the intensity  deepened. The more that my thoughts circled around in my head the more despair I felt.  I felt hopeless. All I was able to do was lay down and sleep, hoping against hope that my anxiety and fear would disappear. But no, they only intensified my despair. I knew that I had to do something. I had to get my body in motion. I had to talk to someone. I had to DO something besides sit at home and think, think and think some more.

I gradually discovered that my  thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce moods and my  moods produce behaviors. In my case. the behavior was to do nothing, The one thing that I did do, was to begin to isolate from family and friends. This deepened my anxiety and frustration. I knew about talking with someone and so I contacted a friend who was in another 12 Step fellowship. We call these friends sponsors. And so it was in talking with a sponsor that I gradually dug myself out of the hole that I was in. I quit digging.

Today, at the present we have some persons who have decided to do something about their depression and pain–they have begun to participate in our HOME STUDY PROGRAM of recovery. This program is a one to one relationship with a sponsor. All one has to do is sign up  and contact us here at depressedanon.com. There are no fees or dues just a willingness to learn all they can about depression and their  own depression experience,   while  utilizing both  the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both can be found by clicking onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore here at this website.

For more information as to how this Home Study works, please read more at Newsletters, the Antidepressant Tablet. You can read how Kim found us on her computer and is now engaged  in getting herself free of the shackles of depression.

She is longer powerless.

For more information please contact me at:  depanon@netpenny.net.

Acceptance, Fellowship, Spirituality, The 12 Steps

Author pens new book, “A Medley of Depression Stories.”

Leave a comment

The following are excerpts from a recent article, from the Edenton, North Carolina Newspaper, written by Staff writer Rebecca Bunch. Portions of the article have been edited and paraphrased.

“Author Debra Sanford has accurately captured the struggles behind depression in a deeper way in her new book, “A Medley of Depression Stories.” The book most ably points out with stories the personal observations on the mental health issues that plague members but also shares the stories of others in their own words.

In the Introduction to the book, Sanford describes it as a Medley of powerful short stories from different perspectives and experiences — meant to help the depressed person – relate and to understand that they are not alone.

The author has the hope that the reader will be able to relate to the stories from others. Debra hopes that you will find your wellness here.

But, according to one entry in the book by someone identified only as “Anonymous” the Depressed Anonymous meeting is promised as a “safe place to fall.”

The meetings are described as an accepting place with friends who truly understand what you are talking about, a place where you don’t have to be ashamed to have a mental illness or to be depressed.

Meetings of Depressed Anonymous are scheduled every week in Edenton, NC., as well as in Elizabeth city.These meetings are there to offer support and comfort to those who need not to feel alone or as they live out their day to day lives.

Copies of Sanford’s book are available at Amazon.com.

You can reach the author at www.depressedanon.com/edentonnc. You can also contact Debra at (252) 333.8855.”

She will be happy to hear from you.

A short review of A Medley of Depression Stories by Hugh Smith, Depressed Anonymous member.

First off, I met Debra and members of the newly formed DA groups from Edenton and Elizabeth NC., about three years ago. It was a wonderful experience for me to meet face to face with a very enthusiastic and dynamic bunch of people. Yes, they were there to support each other and discover the ways the 12 Steps would lead them out of depression.

Debra’s work has stories, 35 of them written by Debra and some who struggled with the pain and isolation of depression. I could pick out a few titles of these short stories but as I look over and read the stories I must admit that they all definitely strike home. I am inspired and given hope that I can get help.

Everyone who reads these stories will find parts of themselves in each of the accounts. I find myself in so many of them myself. If you are looking to find hope, and a way out of depression which has imprisoned all of us, then you have found here a key that will free you.

If you are a member of a local DA group looking for topics to give hope, especially to Newcomers, then I advocate that this book and its stories be selected to be read at all the meetings.

I am proud to have the opportunity to know Debra personally and to see how her love of others is the reason for it being written. And with Debra, we all can say “my story is not over yet.” At every DA meeting another hopeful page has been added to our own story!

Hope is the door that leads into tomorrow!

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship

“I thought my depression and sadness was normal.”

Leave a comment

TERRI’S  STORY

When I first came to Depressed Anonymous, I was so depressed I didn’t even want to get out of bed in the morning.

I hated the world and I didn’t want to deal with it and just going  out in  public was  a major ordeal,  even the  grocery  seemed  like an overwhelming task.  Ultimately, I lost my job due to my inability to function  at work. I prayed that God would let me die.

I felt I carried this tremendous load of emotional pain around in my chest all the time.  I wanted to put it down. I wanted to get rid of it but I didn’t  know how. I thought God had forsaken me because I violated a  sacred  code without knowing it and I believed I could never feel the sunlight of the spirit on my face again. That belief forged a bitterness and resentment toward God that grew day by day. I could not believe life would ever be good again or that I could be happy.

I felt emotionally dead. I have had depression for years, although I didn’t know that’s what it was. Being an alcoholic and an active  member of  Alcoholics Anonymous, I thought my depression and sadness was  normal.

I hit bottom last year in the Spring, after 8 years in recovery, when I started to have “flashbacks” of sexual  abuse from childhood. I didn’t understand how God could have allowed this to happen since it happened so long ago. Why did it have to come out now? All my life I had this feeling that I had a deep dark secret: but I couldn’t remember what it was. I lived in constant fear that people would find out my terrible “secret” was out now. Gradually I realized that the big black secret was out now. I had not died. The world had not stopped.

As I began working on the abuse issues in therapy, the piece s of my life began to fit together in a way they never could have before, as I had never dealt with this catastrophic event. In Hugh’s book, Depressed? Here is a way out he talks about how  people find their time of depression to be one of the great gifts of God in their life. The first time I read this I thought it was the craziest thing  I had ever heard, yet during this time  of depression I have learned and I have grown. I have come to understand myself  and my God in a way I never could before,

It’s been nearly a year now. Life is starting to come together for me again, one day at a time by the grace of God and the fellowship of this program. From the  very first time I walked through the doors of DA, I knew I was in  the right place.  Having been an active member of AA for so many years, I was already a firm believer in the 12 Steps. I did what you people told me to do, even when I didn’t  believe it would help. I attended meetings. I worked the Steps with my sponsor. I used the phone list and talked to people about my pain and my day to day problems. I read Hugh’s  book (Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition(2011) DAP. Louisville) and followed the suggestions given in it.

God, through DA, God  literally carried me through the darkest time in my life and he did not let me die, despite  my best efforts to.  I have truly experienced the “miracle of the group.”   I promise you that it works. I have heard it said that sometimes God’s greatest miracles are unanswered prayers and I believe it, after all I am one.

TERRI B

Sources:  Copyright(c) The Antidepressant Tablet. Volume 4  Number 3 Spring 1993..

Copyright (c)  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship

Depression and quicksand–what do they have in common? Online Home Study provides the answers.

Leave a comment

One thing that they have in common is their capacity to suck you down into the darkness in which you feel there is no escaping.  Quicksand is no respecter of persons and neither is depression.  What happens when we step into quicksand our feet become aware that something is drawing us  down into a place that has no bottom. There is no support that will hold us up.

With depression we too feel that once the spiraling begins, the mood changes and we are there alone without support to hold us up. We are afraid to tell anyone that we are depressed. We continue to isolate ourselves and the prison of depression is gradually being built by fear, isolation and ongoing ruminations  about how bad things are.  By withdrawing and living in the small world that we have created all hope appears to have ben sucked out of us.  Now it’s the lack of motivation to do anything to help ourselves and so we begin to eat too much or not eat at all. We want to sleep all the time or not sleep at all. We are no longer interested in those pleasant activities that we once enjoyed but now we get no pleasure from them.

I would like to offer you a way out of depression and protection from being sucked down into the pain of nothingness.

On November 15, we will initiate our HOME STUDY RECOVERY PROGRAM ONLINE. The program is an online process where you can email answers to questions posed in the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and get a response to your progress from a Depressed Anonymous  sponsor. Because there might not be a Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community we have found that providing you with the possibility of working the Steps, gaining information about yourself and what depression feels and looks like. All this becomes possible by taking part in this online individual help from a member of the DA fellowship. You and your sponsor/guide who continues to help those who want to leave the prison of depression. To challenge yourself and free your self from depression this is the program for you. There are no fees or dues, all you need is  a plan, a well marked out path, provided by our fellowship, which we call the  12 steps of recovery and restoration,

Start now and be part of the HOME STUDY  PROGRAM BY signing up soon so that you will be ready to start your one on one in recovery on November 15.  We are accepting only 10 persons in this program. The two books which you will need are the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and the Depressed Anonymous Manual, 3rd edition.   Please VISIT THE STORE here at www.depressedanon.com to learn how you can order online to receive your material. This is NOT  a group meeting, but a program personalized  to meet you where you are in life. The whole step by step process is achieved like a long distance course offered by colleges and universities. You and your guide will be in communication via emails to each other to get the most benefit for your own life.

If you have any questions please contact me here or at our website: depanon@netpenny.net. We will be looking forward to visiting with you. I have been helping others free themselves from depression these past 30 years and I am willing to go to bat for you too.

If for any reason you prefer to SKYPE then that will be fine with me and our guides.

I hope to hear from you soon. Our email address is  depanon@netpenny.net for those who wish more information about the upcoming program on November 15, 2017.

Hugh

for the fellowship of DA.

[contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

Anger, Attachment, Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Journaling, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Drinking Depression

Leave a comment

Drinking depression: One man’s story of recovery from alcoholism and depression and the parallels between the two.

I have had experiences with alcohol abuse since childhood. I have also struggled since childhood with depression. I quickly learned to rely on both.

I call this paper “drinking depression” because that’s exactly what I did when I no longer had the alcohol. The following thoughts will express my feelings and the parallels that I have seen between these two addictions.

RELIANCE

There was always an excuse to drink, mostly I was upset with something. I should really say angry, for it was anger at the root of my depression that I was trying to suppress  in medicating myself. Later, I learned to do the same thing with my depression except to be in a depressive state High. I didn’t even have to leave the house and after awhile I didn’t want to break the cycle of reliance that dependency had begun. When I was absorbing alcohol into my blood stream I was now injecting the depression into my soul and absorbing it like a sponge.

FAMILIARITY AND COMFORT

As a recovering alcoholic I can look back on my drinking and see when I took comfort in being drunk because after awhile the numbness became the only way I could feel better because when I was drunk I could retreat into myself and not have to deal with everyday life.

The same escape tool was used in the form of depression. I could ball up like a woolly worm and the outside world was not going to hurt me. However, the more I wallowed in the darkness of my depression the deeper I got stuck in the mud of despair and hopelessness.

DESPERATION

In order to deal with alcoholism and depression I had to hit rock bottom. I had reached a point in both, that I had to call out for help or drown in my addiction. I called on my Higher Power to help me with my depression. With guidance of the holy spirit I am harnessing   my talents now and I am seeing incredible results. My recovery has not been overnight, but it is a day by day and step by step recovery process.

THE PHYSICAL

After some time had passed, the drinking affects the physical body breaking it down. Once I saw a film in which the brain of a heroin addict and the alcoholic were very similar. The depression I experienced also has physical implications. For over twenty years the way my body would respond from too much emotional stress was to pass out. Instead of blacking out from   alcohol I was using depression to numb my brain and myself.

THE SPIRITUAL

When I was drinking I felt alienation and guilt. I felt professing  Christians did not drink  and the more I drank the more guilty I became. I felt that much more distant from God the more I drank and spiraled further down into a cycle of despair.

In my depression I felt God had no time for me and that I was unworthy of his love. Again it was a carousal filled with guilt and anger going round and round so that I couldn’t get off the merry go-round.

SELF ESTEEM

When I was drinking, I was sure that no one cared or understood what I was going through so I had many pity parties and I was the guest of honor. Why should I care if no one else cared- this was my way of thinking.

From painful experiences in my childhood I felt I was of no worth  and just taking up space. It has taken therapy and the support of family and friends to finally look in the mirror and begin to like what I saw.

HOPE

I have been sober over two years although  I often have the desire to drink.  I daily call on my Higher Power for help and march on one day at a time experiencing serenity and a release from my need to  take the first drink.

I have been in therapy for almost a year off and on, although in order to recover one has to stay with it. I have to take my emotional and spiritual healing like my drinking.– one day at a time and know when I can make it because it is only opening the door to the past can the light of the present get rid of the darkness today and have hope for the future.

It is my hope and prayer that this has helped you, the reader,  in some small way. It has helped me by writing about my experiences. May God put walls of protection around you so that the way ahead for you may be crystal clear and that today be your first step towards recovery.

God bless.

—Steve P.  A member of the Louisville Depressed Anonymous Group.

 

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship, Focus

Life can be good for a change, I am not alone

Leave a comment

The following account is taken from the personal stories section of Depressed Anonymous.

“It seemed  that I was living in another world until one of my parents gave me a phone number of Depressed Anonymous. The Depressed Anonymous meetings, plus reading the Depressed Anonymous manual  have  provided me with the tools to live without being depressed. Most important of all, the Twelve Steps mentioned in the book have made me understand that God (my Higher Power)  will give me strength to deal with my depression and get on with my life and be happy with myself.

The book with its Twelve Steps,  has taught me that I am not alone. And that I am not the only one who is suffering from depression. It has brought me to believe more in my Higher Power and to let it handle my depression.

I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go the counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must, I need them to survive. The support group’s meetings help  each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and give support  on how to cope with depression. By letting my Higher Power help  me, I am beginning to feel free from  depression. I am not so nervous and tensed up. My Christian inner faith is getting stronger. I am not so stressed out and I am beginning to get confidence in myself. I still have trouble with  my sleep pattern and I am getting some motivation back. I have learned how to handle anxiety by taking deep breaths when I am nervous or troubled. This was  suggested by my therapist. I am also learning how to stand up for myself.

All these new tools have helped me  and will continue to do so. They also taught me not to dwell on my past, to live one day at a time, and to look toward to the future, but not live there.  It will take me a long time to deal with depression, but I am glad that these tools are available. Life can be good for a change. Please don’t give up.”

– Anonymous member of Depressed Anonymous Fellowship.

SOURCE:  (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages. 148-149.