Category Archives: Fellowship

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship

“I wanna be free and live a life free from fear and anxiety!

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” Came to believe that  a power greater than  ourselves can restore us to sanity.”

Now that I’m beginning to make an effort that this higher power is really on my side the more my faith and belief will help me overcome my fear of failure that  my depression ever coming to an end.

My fears, anxieties and other obstacles to my serenity will gradually disappear the more I learn that there is somebody up there that love me and wants me to be free from that gnawing emptiness   that continually plagues me  day after day. I am beginning to see that the more I attend meetings and read   my  Depressed Anonymous Big Book, and do my daily meditations the more peace and hope I will have. I truly believe that  life will  get better for me.  My sanity and my health will increase like a seed watered, nurtured and which receives a lot of sunlight.

 

We aren’t alone anymore. In fact, we are strengthened by the bonds of fellowship and friendship in the group and not burdened by the fear that we will again soon slump back  into our depression.” The Depressed Anonymous Workbook/Step 2-Page 13.

Excerpts from  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.

“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the universe. Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our life. That is a paradox of the 12 Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions,  the freer we in reality become.”

For the depressed person,  giving up old ways of thinking and acting is much like giving up any other addiction – at first letting go of the old behavior makes you feel  uncomfortable.  The  old behavior  wants  to  cling  to  our spirit  like swamp  mud hangs onto knee-high boots. Before your participation  in Depressed Anonymous you would go home from work, get by yourself and ruminate on how bad you felt. This new behavior will help you think differently about yourself. You will find that this higher power, or God as you understand him, is not the same God that you might have met when you were young. When you were a child you came to believe that God is watching you, ready  to punish you if you are not perfect. Now you can  begin to develop an adult and new way of being related  to God as you understand God.  With time, persistence and patience you will gradually trust your life to this Higher Power. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville. Page 43.

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Please see Depressed Anonymous  literature  for more information.  You are able to order your own Kit online from www.depressedanon.com.

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship

“I wanna be free!” (Part 2) HOME STUDY PROGRAM

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HOME STUDY PROGRAM

Today  we want to continue to  share more about how the Home Study Program, using  the Depressed Anonymous   Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook can gradually facilitate a better understanding of the nature of depression and our response to it, using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous

 

The reason most people use the Home Study Program is that it is a simple and straightforward way to begin to  walk on the path that leads out of depression.

So, I admit that I’m depressed. Now what do I do? The next thing we do is to ask ourselves how much can I dare admit to myself  how out-of-control  I really am? How much do I dare tell myself that I have really hit bottom and that I have nowhere to go but to ask for help? I have been afflicted with this tendency all my life to run and hide whenever I was challenged  by a task, a relationship or  old unpleasant memories that frightened me. I would run and hide. I would be willing to barely admit to myself that what I was feeling wasn’t really me.  I also came to believe that the sea of gloom that I swam in  day after day would one day drown me – the exact day and  time just  happened to be unknown at the time.

One of the things that keeps giving me hope at the Depressed Anonymous fellowship meetings  or here on our website (Depressed Anonymous)   is where we can  continue to read about how others   have been successful  in leaving their own prison of depression.  We see a real challenge  that can open a new Vista – a new way to live out our lives and open up hope before us. One man said that the God of his understanding uses him and his depression for helping others who are likewise depressed.   In other words, God will use your depression to help others.

You will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed  or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression.  In fact you will also learn that you have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

SOURCE:  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Page 5.

One of the most powerful experiences and benefits of being a member of the Depressed Anonymous  fellowship is at that you will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression. In fact you will also learn that you also have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

“We” is the first word of step one. It is a very important word to remember because it sets up  immediately sets up a group fellowship with people who are having the same difficulty. It also makes us feel that we too are not alone, but that there is someone else out there that is experiencing the same difficulty as you and me.

 

One the best part of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is that we don’t have to be alone if we don’t want to be. That might sound strange to some of us but we have to admit that what keeps us depressed is our need to keep apart from other.  To remain disconnected and isolated. We have a need to be by ourselves and to stay apart from human contact. For to be in contact with others like me is that we will have to take some risks  and to make some choices. But when I am depressed and alone I don’t have to make as many choices or take any action except to keep  isolating myself and staying apart. This Home Study Program will help you see that it is in being part of a bigger group, with people like yourselves, which  will gradually give you the desire  to be part,  share and  stay involved in your own  active recovery using the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous. ”

Source:  Home Study Program: (c)The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, pages 4 and 5.

“One of the more constant behaviors of the individual depressing is to engage in fewer and fewer pleasant activities. The person depressed just can’t bring himself or herself to do anything that might cause a sense of elation or pleasure. If you feel that you are bad, worthless and without any value, then you can’t  get yourself to do something that might make you have a good feeling about yourself. An individual depressing can make him or herself feel anxious, sick and even faint. With the support of a group like Depressed Anonymous and the fellowship here on the web one   can begin to see that life doesn’t have to be lived alone and in  misery. And that is precisely the miracle of the group. You begin to see that you can stay parked in  neutral in your misery and feel hopeless or you can  step out in faith as most members of our group do, and admit that you’ve had it with the sadness and begin to choose life. I do believe and know  a renewed sense of hope is in our hands – we can choose to be sad or by our inaction could choose to live without purpose and  joy.  It’s a risk we choose to take. ”

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM:  (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 37.

NOTE:  The Home Study Program/Kit includes both the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. This Program is available for purchase online  here at the Depressed Anonymous Website.  Other literature, which applies to  the 12 Steps and to the experience of depression are likewise available. Check it out.

 

 

Fellowship

Symptoms of inner peace

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Be on the alert for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now,  been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

 

          Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

An unmistakable  ability to enjoy each moment.

A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

A lost interest in conflict.

A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

Frequent, overwhelming  episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

Frequent attacks of smiling.

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

An increased susceptibility  to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

—Anonymous

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

A potent means of recovery

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The Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous. The Depressed Anonymous recovery program was modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous. which was originally developed  to help men and women deal with their addiction to alcohol one day at a time. The Twelve Steps have been found to be  a potent means of recovery for those who desire to free  themselves from their compulsions. The Twelve Steps are basically a program of letting go of our compulsions and handing over our will to the care of God, as we understand God. Essentially, our program is a Step by Step way to change not only our addiction, but our way of life. Change happens when we choose to change. The fellowship of the group and our desiring to make changes in our life is what provides our life-giving  spiritual experience. Most people  get organized religion and spirituality mixed up. Depressed Anonymous achieves strength from spirituality without set creed, dogma or doctrine. All the program asks of a person who come to the meetings is only to have a sincere desire to stop the compulsion of saddening themselves.

We make no apologies for our faith in a God that can restore us not only to sanity, but to serenity and joy as well.

“We never apologize for God. Instead, we let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.” Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

SOURCES: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 162.

(c)  Believing is seeing: 15 Ways to leave the prison of depression (2016) Hugh Smith, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (1986, 2013) 2nd edition. Hugh Smith . Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

 

DA Literature, Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness

Today I want to keep the focus on myself

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AFFIRMATION

Today, I’m going to keep the focus on myself and I aim to take responsibility for myself.

“… There is one great advantage about seeing yourself as helpless and in the power of others.  You don’t have to be responsible for yourself. Other people make all the decisions and when things turn out badly you can blame other people. And things always turn out badly. That’s why you always expect the worst.”

REFLECTION

It is when I no longer blame others for my problems that I begin to see that how I turn out is ultimately up to me. My happiness or unhappiness depends on the choices that I make. No one needs to feel sorry for me any longer because I am depressed. I know that I am responsible for me and that I have made the decision to get myself undepressed and to stay undepressed.

It’s most difficult to make decisions when I have hardly the energy to get out of bed in the morning. It’s always difficult to choose one way or the   other because in the past, most of my decisions have usually resulted in failure. Today and everyday I will make the decisions to learn all I can about the various ways that I use the 12 step tools of recovery  to release myself from my hopelessness.

MEDITATION

We now have hope that our expectations will come true for ourselves as we begin   to take responsibility for ourselves.

___________________________________________________________________________

Source: Copyright (C) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 64.

HIGHER THOUGHTS IS AVAILABLE ON THE KINDLE  eREADER.

Visit the store for more information on Depressed Anonymous literature.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship

“WE HAVE THE TOOLS TO BEGIN THE WORK OF CHANGING BEHAVIORS FOSTERED BY DEPRESSION.”

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THE BEAST

“… We are also under an increasing obligation to confront our illness, seek the proper treatments, and to the extent we can, begin the work of changing the behaviors fostered by depression. This is not blaming the victim; it is – to use a trendy phrase – empowering the victim.  To  fail at this is, to surrender to the devouring  self-pity this illness can engender, violates an unwritten law of society which needs all the talents and energies of every member.  To remain a victim of depression when I’ve been given the tools to be healthy, or at least healthier, means that I am withholding a part of me from people who might need what ever I have to give.”

SOURCE: THE BEAST.  A reckoning with depression. Tracy Thompson. G. P. Putnam’s Sons, New York, 1995. Page 13.

TOOLS FOR THE DEPRESSED

We recommend the HOME STUDY KIT, comprised of the Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition manual (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications, and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky.

VISIT THE STORE FOR FURTHER DETAILS ON THESE TOOLS — PRODUCED BY THOSE WHO LIVE OUT THE PROGRAM OF RECOVERY IN THEIR  OWN LIVES.

Fellowship, Mutual Aid

Friends are good medicine

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Research continues to show how friends or social support can play a significant  role in maintaining good health.  One of  the studies published in 1992,   in  the  Journal of the American Medical Society, examined 1,368  heart patients over time. The Duke University study found that those persons who lacked a spouse or confident were three times as likely to die within five years of diagnosis than those who  were married or had a close friend.

In an article on the study, ( in New York Times of February 5, 1992, page’s C – 12), it was noted that the Duke University researchers had concluded, ” a support group may be as effective as costly medical treatment. Simply put, having someone to talk to is very powerful medicine.” American self-help clearinghouse, Denville, NJ 07834.

As any member of a 12 step support group, or mutual aid group can testify, just being able to share one’s own story with others like ourselves,  can produce healing and hope. To know that we no longer have to suffer alone is in  itself a great source of hope!

Anger, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Egoism, Fellowship

What am I feeling?

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WHAT AM I FEELING?

                                 Anger? Hostility? Aggression?

Anger: An emotion that says “Something is wrong.” That  it can be expressed to tell others about your personal limits, values, rules, and boundaries. The respectful expression of anger is an important way to educate others about how their behavior affects you. It can result in mutual respect between you and another person.

Hostility: An attitude that contributes to the violation of another person’s rights, values, rules, or boundaries. This attitude can include ruminating or brooding about another person’s real or perceived injustices toward you and ways that you can  “get even” with him/her   and this attitude leads to feelings of powerlessness. It can often lead to aggression our withdrawal as a way to punish others.

Aggression: A behavior, acted on with the intent to harm others, either physically or emotionally for real or imagined  “wrongs” done to you. This behavior always results in disrespect for yourself or the other person. It creates distance between you rather that brings you closer.

                           Learning how to express anger respectfully.

1.  Admit your anger. Accept that you are angry. Shouting “I am not angry!” at the other person only escalates you more. It can be safe and growth producing to acknowledge that you are angry.

2. Take a “timeout” to cool down if you need it.  Learning to deal respectfully and constructively with your anger takes time and practice.

3. Identify the source of your anger (look for your primary feelings). Make sure you perceived what happened correctly. Ask yourself questions like: ” what is my negative self-talk?” “Am I  dealing only with this issue at hand or are there other stressors that have already escalated me before this?” “Am I looking for a reason to blowup?”

4. Separate the energy of your anger (pent up feelings inside you seeking release) from the issue your anger is about (the condition, idea, event, or person you feel angry at).

5. Decide how and when you will express your anger.

6. Talk to the other person involved with your anger. Share your anger and any  primary feelings you can identify in an open, direct, and respectful way.

7. Make  “I” statements. Take responsibility for your own feelings. Resist the temptation to blame someone else for  “making you” feel angry.

8. Listen closely to the others point of view. Recognize and accept that their view may be quite different from yours. Remember that they have a right to their perspective and feelings.

9. Get in touch with your expectations and your intentions in sharing your anger. The purpose is not to “win” the argument (or discussion) or to make the other person agree with you or your point of view. Rather, it is an opportunity to give  both of you a time to express feelings.  Also,  explore alternatives such as compromising. Or you can “Agree to disagree” and table the discussion until another time.”

Source: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 34 to 35.

Please VIST THE STORE  for more information on the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and the Depressed Anonymous Manual, both of which comprise the HOME STUDY KIT which can be purchased online.

Fellowship, The 12 Steps

Withdrawal from friends is the first clue…

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  Withdrawing from friends  and other social contacts is the first clue that you’re slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression.   Move toward a friend, get a sponsor, and go to a 12 step meeting. Ask your higher power for that knowledge that can guide you onto the appropriate path. 

There are two times that we need to go to a 12 step meeting. 1) One, when we don’t want to go to a meeting and 2) secondly when we do want to go to a meeting.  From my personal experiences I can share with you that is when I go to my meeting that I’m able to come away from it with something positive to think about. I can honestly say that I feel better after a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I know in my heart that when I just want to sit at home by myself, isolating and ruminating within my head about all the horrible things that have happened to me, or are about to happen to me, that is when I depressed myself even more. Get connected!

CHOICE,  NOT CHANCE  DETERMINES DESTINY!

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing negative information, which describes how we habitually store the negative but continue to dump the positive information which 24/7 continually flows into our brain. These negative thoughts of feeling  persist  in  keeping us falling back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool  ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me and that is why I distance myself from everyone.  Part of my nature when  depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening me, like a child afraid of the dark.

I can only do what God wants me to do and I discover what this is by spending time alone with my God and meditation. Whatever we do, we need to know that our isolation and our withdrawing from friends and family, is an environment where depression grows strong.  Depression dies in the light of discussion.

Dorothy Rowe in  her award-winning book Depression: the way out of your prison, has an excellent section on isolation and depression. Let me quote it for you and then you can the draw your own conclusions

” Thus none of us can escape needing other people so that we can exist and not fear annihilation. But you who get depressed have decided to express your need for other people in ways which make it hard for you to live.

    Take the first form of existence – wanting to be part of a group and fearing isolation. If you see yourself as basically a good person and therefore with  something to offer other people, you have no fear of joining groups, of being part of the family, as much as you suffer loss, you know you’re able to find new friends and to help other people. But if you see yourself as basically a bad person, then the threat of expulsion from your group is expected and feared. Since  you do not value yourself, you cannot see people as wanting you to join them, either as a friend our helper. If disaster wrenched you away from your family you cannot see yourself surviving, and so no matter how much you come to hate your family you cannot let them go. They are your reference point of existence, and you fear that if you lose them, you will disappear…

     Seeing yourself as basically good reduces the need for other people’s approval. If you see yourself as basically good, you can set up a select group of people whose approval you desire and can be indifferent to the opinion of the multitude. But if you see yourself as basically bad then you need everybody’s approval…”   Dorothy Rowe. Depression: the way out of your prison. 1983. Harper Collins, London, UK. Page 111.

Source:  Copyright ( c)  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2002) D AP. Louisville. Kentucky. 40216. Pages 47-50.

Fellowship, Purpose, Spirituality

Admitting that we are in pain is the start of freedom!

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  THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

PROMISE #1. We believe that once we have diligently and with rigorous personal honesty managed to complete the first nine steps of our program – good things can begin to happen in our life. It is after we have made amends to those whom we had harmed, swept the porch in front of our own house, and go to step ten and complete the remainder of the steps, we will be amazed at the peace that is become a part of our life.

The pain that we experience now – and working our program step-by-step is indeed slight – compared to the pain that may continue if we don’t bite the bullet and look at the issues that have trapped us these many years.

Working the 12 steps is like the person who heads toward  the light at the end of the tunnel. The closer one gets to the light – the more one discovers a way out. The light in this case is symbolized by the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. The expression of light, health and recovery of its members helps each of us to stay focused on recovery. Work is to be done if we are to find not only the light  – but a life free from the symptoms of depression.

Change is painful.  The first step is for the beginning of the end of our pain.  By admitting that we are in pain is that which paradoxically begins a release of our pain. This is the paradox of letting go and holding on as we learn from step three. What we hold onto holds on to us. What we seek – seeks us.

It is difficult for any of us to admit that our lives are out of control.

People sometimes speak of their depression as a comfort. I can identify with that, because if they were to change for anything else, they might end up with something far worse than what they have now. They feel that they might end up the hole in the doughnut. This pain of depression begins to dissolve as a result of doing something we’ve never done before – or rather doing something about our lives that we have not done before. It happens to be true that the more we get in touch with and remove our resentments, fear, guilt, and self-pity from our lives, the lighter we feel emotionally. The less need we have   to rely on defense mechanisms which shielded our fragile egos from pain,  hurt or remorse, the freer we become.

I do believe that the pain of our depression originates from inside ourselves. We construct present-day reality based on past life experiences. The past is a predictor of the future.  As it says in Depressed Anonymous, many of us held the absolute belief that “since bad things have happened to us in the past, bad things will happen to us in the future. In other words – we have made up her mind – nothing will ever change. And of course this belief is what promotes and keeps our depression  alive.”

The opposite of depression is spontaneity and vitality. When we are depressed we move about as in a fog.  we are stuck.  Since we desire everything to remain the same, that is, predictable, we in no way believe that life can be different. If we intend to stay suck, we make the decision, choose to stay in the rut of being  lifeless, hapless and helpless.

As we change old beliefs into new ones we believe that things can change as things begin to change.  We will begin to experience light, hope  and joy.   ”

In every   Depressed Anonymous story (See Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition) one’s personal story of recovery  illustrates how pain has been the admission price for the beginning  of a new life without depression and isolation.

.”The God that we know speaks to us through members of the Depressed Anonymous group. The Higher Power will put a new sense of purpose into  your life once you know how to turn  to it and surrender your pain. The Depressed Anonymous group will lead you safely and gently. The miracle is in the group.”

“The starting point is the admission that so far everything we have tried has not worked…”  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. DAP. Louisville. DA/P.39.

“… Life doesn’t have to be lived alone in agony or misery.” DA/.41.