Category Archives: Supportive Actions

The International Depressed Anonymous Online SKYPE Meeting

February 11, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

NOTICE: Whenever a blog post mentions an online meeting be sure to consult the page Online Depressed Anonymous Meetings for the most up to date and correct information. If the blog post is more than a few days old there is a chance it could be incorrect.

Please take notice that the International Depressed Anonymous Online SKYPE meeting is now open for group members. Newcomers are especially welcome.

The way to attend this meeting, which is online every Sunday at 14.30 CET (Central European Time). People can check on the Internet what the time would be for their own time zone. The meeting uses the same format as at a regular Depressed Anonymous meeting. The meeting is in English.

Here is the address that will take you immediately to the DA meeting.

https://join.skype.com/l8Xf0uW4hYUW

Fellowship, Isolation, Mindfulness, Prayer, Purpose, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

Today is your day!

February 5, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

If you are depressed, this is your day. Yesterday is gone forever, except in our memories. Tomorrow is not here yet, except in our imagination. This is all we got. This 24 hour period of time is my time. This is the space in which we will be living for the next 24 hours. For some of us, it won’t pass fast enough. But think about it: we’ve told ourselves thousands of time that we will not face who we are and what we want today but only when we feel like it. I will do it when I feel like it. Sound familiar?

The physical and mental pain of our sadness won’t allow us to think about anything BUT my pain. I feel like I am in a prison and no matter what keys I am supposed to have to get out, nothing will work. I won’t accept that I have options for my release. Once depressed –always depressed, that’s my mantra.

Today is your day. This is the day you are going to make a break ! This is your day to do something different. Namely, to listen for that other voice inside your head. You are going to hear that there is another way out. The lockdown is over. You don’t have to live this way. Isolated. Imprisoned and without hope.

In “I’ll do it when I feel better is written for all of us who are waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what, I ask? Yes, I know what you are waiting for–you are waiting for the depression to just disappear. Poof! And it’s gone. But you and I know better than that. We have been depressed for so long we can’t accept that we can do anything about our life sentence of misery. I have personally been at this struggle for so long that I know something very important about leaving behind the misery of our lives. The fact is that when we begin to take charge of our thoughts, feelings and lives, good things will begin to happen today. How? Talk to a person who has been there and is now recovered-living that life of hope. Read the hopeful material from folks who have successfully found that making today decision day is today.

Let’s be honest. I once faced the same feeling of being hopeless and despair. I never thought that I was able to dig out of the hole that I had been living in. My continuous negative and hopeless thinking eroded all the motivational energy that I might have had to try something that might work for me.

This is your day! You still have hours left in this day to make a decision to start the life that you have been wishing for. Throw the sheets off–get off the couch-call a friend–check out this website depressedanon.com discovering how to get motivated for something that will work for you. Why? Here you will find the written accounts of folks, just like you and me, who have begin to live one day at a time. They are making the most of each day. Many of us begin each 24 hours by saying this prayer, the moment upon awakening:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

It’s similar to putting your toe in the water. Too cold? Too hot? No, just right. Why? Because there is hope here. There are folks here who are available for you to talk with. There is an International online SKYPE group that meets every Sunday. People who need to talk with others about their own recovery using the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous.. People who are in recovery. These are those who are spending today reaching out to others for assistance. They find kindred spirits everywhere.

You can read hopeful stories of people like yourself in Depressed Anonymous who have made a decision to live each day with hope. For example, the following is Gloria’s story of how her “today” was on June 6, 1985. (First meeting of Depressed Anonymous was founded at this time).

“There are four of us who were together first on June 6th, 1985. We have become very good friends. I still remember what the counselor from the very first meeting told us. “I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped, some for just one meeting, some wanting a magic wand waved. It has helped me over the rough spots, and gave me courage to go on as a widow. I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me depressed at times. My Mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.

I will continue t attend Depressed Anonymous. Every time is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or a hug or who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God who loves all. ”

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Annonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. (Personal Stories section. Page 141/In helping others I helped my self).

“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free us of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we relax, and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile.

We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we are shown all through the day what our next step will be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.” Bill W.

TODAY IS YOUR DAY! WHAT CAN YOU MAKE OF IT?

For more information please contact: depanon@netpenny.net.

www. depessedanon.com for BLOGS and information about depression and recovery tools.

Visit the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more information on how to order books online

SOURCES: (Copyright) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

(Copyright) I’ll do it when I feel better. Hugh Smith (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 101. Louisville. KY. (Quote from As Bill Sees it. The AA Way of Life… selected writings of A.A.’s co-Founder. AA World Services Inc., New York. 1967. Page 243.)

12 Step Meeting

International Online Depressed Anonymous SKYPE meeting on Sunday

February 2, 2019 Hugh Smith 1 Comment

INTERNATIONAL ONLINE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS SKYPE MEETING ON SUNDAYS OF THE MONTH.

For information about the Online Group, please use the following information below if you would like to join this Depressed Anonymous Online Group.

The emailaccount address that you will contact is depanon@Hotmail.com. You can send a request to be connected to the group on SKYPE and a member of DA will send you time of meeting. You will need to get the exact time (with appropriate time zone).

If you are experiencing difficulty gaining access to the group please email us here at depanon@netpenny.net.

I hope that you will be able to be an active participant in this mutual support group.

Hugh

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Journaling

Depressed Anonymous offers a Home Study as an alternative path for recovery:

January 29, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

An alternative path: The Depressed Anonymous Home Study Program of Recovery has been offered for those who cannot find a Depressed Anonymous group in their area. One of the drawbacks to finding a Depressed Anonymous meeting in one’s community is the nature of the problem in that depression has our life shut down. Depression is such that it isolates and immobilizes. We don’t want to move out of our comfort zone. We’ll take care of our problem when we feel better. But we never feel better and so stay in our isolation. It is only when we feel we have to get help that we move toward a solution for our depression or whatever it is we have.

Depression is not a substance addiction problem, even though we modeled our program on the 12 spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. Like so many problems facing our modern society, many people have put the power of these principles to work in their own lives, be that of overeating, opioids addiction and a plethora of compulsive behaviors, phobias and so on.

Depressed Anonymous formed as a mutual aid group where others, like ourselves, have come together, utilizing the 12 Steps of recovery and have found a way out of their depression.

When people ask us for a group in their area more times than not we suggest they use the tools that we offer at our site and come together and form their own group. But for those who cannot do this, for all sorts of reasons, find themselves without the help that they are looking for.

This is where the Depressed Anonymous Home Study comes in to help. With this program, a person can use the Depressed Anonymous Manual and Workbook. They also can be provided with a sponsor to work their program online. The program is conducted via emails between the Home Study participant and the sponsor. The 12 Steps are examined and applied to one’s own experience with depression by answering the questions provided by Home Study. From having a positive experience with the Home Study Program of Recovery some of the participants have begun a Depressed Anonymous program in their own community. Before the Home Study Program of Recovery there were no DA groups in their home community. After the Home Study Program was used , and a thorough study of the Steps was accomplished , a group was set in motion. Sometimes a therapist was obtained who helped the participant work the Steps. Sometimes a member of another 12 Step fellowship could help share how their own involvement with the Steps provided them a release from their addiction.

To learn more about the Home Study Program we have given you some resources at our website www.depressedanon.com for your examination

Kim shares her own experiences with the Home Study Program in Volume #1 Fall Issue of the DA Newsletter. She tells us about the “before” of working the Steps and the “after” of completing the Home Study an how it freed her from the captivity of depression and isolation. Please read it–be inspired as was I. Her story is to be found at the NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES on the Home Page Menu list.

Also, a full explanation of the HSP and what it is about, is explained at the Depressed Anonymous Home Page Menu-See HOME STUDY PROGRAM.

Depressed Anonymous groups also use the HOME STUDY as the basis for the STEP STUDY home group.re are different and creative ways to use this tool for recovery from depression. Also remember that there is available a sponsor to help the participant work through each of the Steps.

NOTE: I f you desire to start a group in your community is also advisable to have worked all the steps yourself. We can then share that we have worked through all the Steps and that we have a Sponsor.

A member of a newly formed Depressed Anonymous group in an international community is now started with the Home Study and will be the first member of the group to go through all the Steps with a Sponsor. Congratulations to her and her group. It is a positive that the questions contained in the Workbook have a unique relationship to one’s own life as the steps are applied to one’s own life situations.

You can contact us at depanon@netpenny.net. Thank you!

Fellowship, Hope

Increase activity-decrease depression. Set goals for your recovery and you will reap its rewards

January 21, 2019 Hugh Smith 1 Comment

One of the greatest lessons I learned was about setting goals. When I would isolate and withdraw from life, friends and family, is when my depression began to deepen and worsen.

If you stop taking care of yourself and retreat from living, you will find yourself boxed in and all alone. I remember well when I would withdraw trying to figure out what I could do to relieve my deep sadness. Usually my thinking took the easy way out. I would tell myself that I would do it when I felt better. ( “I’ll do it when I felt better.”)

This excuse was a way out for me, because I would never have to do anything because I would never feel better. It was only when bad went to worse that I began to realize that the only way out was up. Instead of spiraling down I needed to spiral up.

When I set a goal to find help, I started to work on my recovery using the tools of Depressed Anonymous. That is, I would use the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, and answer one or two questions every day—one week I could only answer three of the questions a day. I took it one step at a time. Some days, I just felt like hanging it up. A mantra that I kept repeating to myself was that nothing was happening. I was still depressed. No change.

An amazing thing happened. Even though my goals were small to start with, I did believe that this activity was gradually bringing me closer to who I really am and who I wanted to be. Nothing happened overnight. It was a day by day struggle. But as I moved through this workbook, I discovered that there were some other exercises that I could accomplish. I looked at the Depressed Anonymous website, and found ten or more ways to get involved with my own recovery. The one that appealed to me was the one tool called exercise. I thought, that is definitely one that I don’t have the energy for. Then I rethought my decision . I had heard that when you are depressed, set a small goal in which you find a bit more challenging, like walking and do that every day. So I forced myself to walk, just as I was forcing myself to read Depressed Anonymous literature I now was setting aside time to walk every morning. It was like I was in a high hurdles race, moving over obstacles placed there by my mind and moving over them one at a time.

I learned that there is physical activity as well as mental activity. By committing myself to these small steps, one at a time, I gradually found myself a bit more hopeful. I was gradually reaping the rewards of moving on and through my depression resistance — no longer staying parked in neutral.

I was getting my life in gear. Eventually I started to attend Depressed Anonymous meetings and set the goal of going to meetings every week. Gradually I was aware of something positive shifting in my life–I was actually beginning to look forward to continuing my activities and began participating in life once again. My mind fog had finally melted away.

The lesson here for me and it will be the same for you is to start with small goals, add a goal as you move along, and you will find that you now have developed a workable program of recovery that can get you through every day of your life. Oh, sure there will be other obstacles and hurdles to overcome in your life, but my point is that you will have what you need to stay on your feet and move forward in hope because you got skin in the game.

Depressed Anonymous Member

SOURCES: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.Ky.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION.

12 Step Meeting, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, The 12 Steps

Our hunches are more right than wrong.

January 15, 2019 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

We think about the 24 hours ahead when we wake up, and attempt to live the day in honesty and peace. We ask God to ward off thoughts of self-seeking, dishonesty and false motives. As Alcoholics Anonymous says, with the indecision about something, we then ask God for inspiration and we let go of struggling for an answer. Alcoholics Anonymous says that you will be surprised at how the right answers will come after we have practiced this way of living. It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong. We also pause throughout the day when we are fearful, puzzled or anxious. We pray to the Higher Power for which direction to take. I like this suggestion the best when Alcoholics Anonymous says : We constantly remind ourselves that we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “‘Thy will be dome,’ ” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. By coming to the meetings and admitting our addictions, we finally get in touch with those emotions that have all but shut down from an early time in our lives, when to feel hurt too much. We now have the chance to let these feelings get displayed and expressed in the supportive and trusting environment of our newly chosen family of the Depressed Anonymous group.”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page 101/Step 11.

NOTE: Even though most of us who join the Depressed Anonymous group, do not suffer from alcohol addiction, Depressed Anonymous is modeled after the 12 spiritual principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. We have based our program of recovery on the 12 steps of recovery and using them on a daily basis. The 12 Steps are now universally used as the basis for a myriad of recovery tools for those who are trying to free themselves from addictive behaviors and attachments.

VISIT THE STORE at the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS BOOKSTORE. at www.depressedanon.com. One can order online.

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

I want to start a Depressed Anonymous group in my community? How do I do that?

December 29, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

This month (12/2018) we have had four requests to start a Depressed Anonymous group in their particular locations. Three were requests from individuals living in the US and one was from a person from Canada.

Our first inclination would to advise them to go to our Newsletter Archives at our Home Page Menu and read the issues from #1- through and including the Newsletter for 2018. Each of the Newsletters has a section about our program of recovery as well as other important information about overcoming depression. Each is titled “How to Start A Depressed Anonymous group.”

Since all of our Groups worldwide use the Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition Manual, it serves as an excellent guide for each of the newly formed Depressed Anonymous group membership and part of their ongoing program of recovery. There is a chapter in this Manual for the Leader of the Group with an example suggested for leading a Depressed Anonymous Group. Also, included in the Manual is a chapter on How to Start a group.

Like most 12 Step programs of recovery they each have their own way of conducting meetings. The 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions of Depressed Anonymous are read at every meeting. Also included in every meeting is the reading of The Statement of Concerns plus How Depressed Anonymous Works.

Most 12 Step groups also have their own “Big Book” which is what the Alcoholics Anonymous program is referred to. In a sense, this is the bible for the fellowship and most members know it by heart chapter and verse. If you want to start a Depressed Anonymous group in your community it is a given that you will want to have a copy of this important book, authored by the early members of the fellowship. In fact, we think it essential to have copies of this book available at each and all meetings. If you are going to be a founder of a local DA group we hope you read this book before you set up your own group meeting. After 30 years working with Depressed Anonymous and helping to set up groups around the world, we have found ourselves continually reflecting on various passages which guide us in our own daily recovery.

You can order Depressed Anonymous Online plus other books written by those of us who WERE depressed. The sale of books provides us with revenue to share hope with others who are in need our support. Please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at depressedanon.com for more information.

We want to hear from you and are looking forward to another group meeting the needs of those “Still suffering from depression.”

Please email us at depanon@netpenny.net. Locate us at www.depressedanon.com.

Acceptance, Relapse Prevention

I get it!

December 26, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

It took awhile, but finally I “got it.”

In the work Depressed Anonymous, which provides a step by step commentary for individuals and group members, Dr. Dorothy Rowe points out that if you want to get yourself depressed this is what you must do. You must hold these six options as if they were real, absolute and immutable truths

No matter how good and nice I appear to be, I am really bad, evil, valueless, and unacceptable to myself and others.
Other people are such that I must fear, hate or envy them.
Life is terrible and death is worse.
Only bad things happened to me in the past and only bad things will happen to me in the future.
Anger is evil.
I must never forgive, least of all myself.

What I envision as the best possible world for the depressed and to prevent relapse and recurrence is a model that may include the medication treatment, the psychotherapy interaction between therapist and client and then the holistic model of the mutual aid group, to name a few. What happens in the group support system is basically a replication of what happens in a person’s childhood environment. We can determine if trust is there, can the child have the assumed permission to show initiative, is the child made to feel safe and can the child venture out beyond the boundaries of his home and feel safe? Or does he come from a home which is closed and the world perceived as enemy and unsafe- indeed a setup for a mistrustful attitude about life. All this comes into play in early childhood development. We need to look again at anything in a child’s life where he/she experienced a loss, a separation or a life filled with anger and hurt.

The community in which the child is raised presents all types of messages and this in the beginning is how he or she sees the world. Chemicals in the brain don’t produce thoughts that say ” I’m worthless or unacceptable,” etc. It’s more the messages that one receives when one is in the formative years of one’s life that may predict how one perceives his or her future.”

You might want to ask yourself this question: What messages did you receive as a child growing up. Did you feel that the messages you received give you freedom to explore the world and your environment, or did you feel unsafe and insecure?

SOURCES:
(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications.Louisville. KY
(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Pages 25-26.

Fellowship

Our relationship with others will improve. Now isn’t that a good thing?

December 17, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

Why shouldn’t our relationships with other people improve? After we have begun to put into place our daily program of recovery, through prayer and meditation we now are expectant and hopeful. We reflect upon each step, and we complete a piece of the structure that in time will be the new me. I think that one of the more critical areas to mend in our lives is the thinking part of ourselves. So, from the start we need to promote to those persons depressed to get involved in as much physical activity as possible, for example, walk, express personal feelings to others, go to meetings, talk with each other on the phone with supportive people. In other words, get connected as much as possible. Most importantly we discover at our group meetings that there are many persons, much like ourselves and at the same level of recovery. We know we are not alone.

”’Once the newcomers hear the before and after of our lives it will make it easier for them to believe us when they experience our own enthusiasm and cheerfulness. ”

SOURCES: Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

Fellowship

We are not passive victims.

December 6, 2018 Hugh Smith Leave a comment

In our mutual aid group, Depressed Anonymous, we soon learn that to get well we have to begin to believe that we are not passive victims of depression which comes out of the blue and bites us. We are not talking about a cold and/or the flu. We learn that we have to be responsible for our own health and healing. We have to learn that motivation follows action. I will not blame myself for being depressed but I do have to take responsibility for my own health now that I know what I have. We are responsible for the depression because it has made its home in us and has crippled us for months, and yes, for years.

We can learn how to go from being a patient to be in charge of our own feelings and health. It could be well to take a look at our childhood and early life relationships; especially infancy and early childhood relationships. Even more importantly it’s important to look at how secure was our early growing up environment. Were we loved? Were we cherished by our parents. Was there drinking in the home? Was there abuse? Were we ignored? If you had parents who said you were worthless, unsuitable and told that you were no good, then this has without an ounce of doubt, influenced you in deep and deleterious ways today.

Also, we know that one major manifestation of depression is what we call Obsessive Compulsive behavior – namely, that ritual attempt to reduce stress by repetitive rituals such as hand washing, checking doors to make sure they have been locked and stove burners, to make sure that they have been turned off. All of this is a person’s ritualistic attempt at reducing stress. Allied with this disability is perfectionism where a person who is obsessive-compulsive also has a hyper moral sensitivity.”

Finally, one might add that our mind follows a familiar track, circling around and around in our head attempting to figure out how we ever got depressed in the first place. This type of circular thinking usually brings us back to the same starting point. We are no further out of the woods than when we started. The side effect of this rumination is that we are mentally and physically exhausted. Fatigue is one of our biggest problems when we are depressed.

A bigger solution is to follow and use the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous and become proactive in your own recovery.

Hope is just a few steps away!