For those of us participating in Depressed Anonymous online group meetings, here is a wonderful prayer that inspires us to bring hope to those still suffering.
“God I offer myself to You – to build with me and to do with me as you will. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do your will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may I bear witness to those I would help of your Power, Your Love and Your Way of life. May I do Your will always.”
AA
“There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit. But when they are logically related an interwoven, the result is an unshakeable foundation for life.” The Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions.
In Step Four of the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, we read from The Depressed Anonymous Workbook the following encouraging statement:
“By our daily conscious contact with God as we under stand God, I believe that my daily efforts at listening to my Higher Power’s word will help me focus in on where I need to change. I hope that my depression will always be examined the moment I feel down and blue for no apparent reason. If I slow down, take a pencil and write down what I have been thinking of lately, I do believe that my sadness will slowly evaporate – slowly like the early morning fog.
I will cast away my fears, guilt and resentments by getting them down on paper in front of me. On black and white.
Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2009) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 27. STEP FOUR
This Workbook can now be downloaded as an Ebook for $1.00 from the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore at www.depressedanon.com.
Offer lasts until the end of May. After that it will resume its price of $12.00.
“In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely on it.”
AA Pages 86-87.
Stress put me in the hospital two years ago. First, pneumonia put me in the hospital for a week. Then, following a diagnosis of clogged arteries with other assorted problems, open heart surgery. Cardio/rehab for 24 straight weeks gave me my life back. But this was not my first experience with stress and /or depression.
Nietzsche had it right. In my case at least. What made me stronger and saved my life was not only heart surgery but my new way of dealing with stress. I now see stress for the trouble maker that it really is. The stress in anyone’s, continues to impress me how dangerous living under stress, of any kind, can be.
I know that the daily stress that I had put my mind and body through every day, every month, gradually destroyed my immune system’s ability to defend against constant fear, worry and anxiety. Because of the environment with which I was living in, day after day, finally caught up with me: pneumonia and then open heart surgery. So you might wonder how can stress do all this damage to your mind and body?
THEN
This takes me back to my first experience with sadness. It didn’t kill me, but it did force me to look at my lifestyle, staying in a bad situation and the ongoing ruminating which poured adrenaline into my veins, hyping up fear and anxiety day after day. Finally, all this weakened not only my body but my mind as well. My thinking started circling around and around as I tried to figure out exactly what the problem was knocking me off my feet. Not only that, I couldn’t concentrate. I would read a sentence or so and then would forget what I had just read. I was always tired. I always wanted to sleep. I never laughed anymore. My sense of humor went out the door. I started to isolate. I pushed friends away. I always had an excuse for cancelling meetings and appointments. Every morning I woke up, dead on arrival. No energy. No purpose and nothing to look forward to. I was losing all spontaneity and replacing it with boredom. I gradually was being sucked down intro the quicksand of futility and hopelessness.
After a year and half of this pain filled life I gradually walked out of the fog. I walked at least five miles a day-like a forced march looking forward to regaining my life. That was 1985.
NOW
Now, I am stronger because I know all the red flags that pop up in my mind, wanting to suck me back down into that environment which almost killed me in the first place. I am definitely stronger now that I have a sponsor, a 12 Step program (Depressed Anonymous) and a daily plan for my ongoing recovery.
My heart is stronger now. My commitment to taking good care of myself with proper rest, good healthy food, and physical activity at least three times a week or more. I also know that keeping in touch with those “still suffering from depression” by email, Home Study, website BLOG (depressedanon.com), phone and reading Depressed Anonymous literature. What we give away comes back in countless ways. For me, continued sobriety and hope!
Resource: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
Online Depressed Anonymous International Skype meetings ( Check website Menu for listing and links).
Order online: The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Every 12 Step program of Recovery begin their meetings with this powerful prayer. Most of us say it a couple times a day.
Think about printing the prayer out and experience the power that comes from its guidance, each and every day!
If you are depressed, this is your day. Yesterday is gone forever, except in our memories. Tomorrow is not here yet, except in our imagination. This is all we got. This 24 hour period of time is my time. This is the space in which we will be living for the next 24 hours. For some of us, it won’t pass fast enough. But think about it: we’ve told ourselves thousands of time that we will not face who we are and what we want today but only when we feel like it. I will do it when I feel like it. Sound familiar?
The physical and mental pain of our sadness won’t allow us to think about anything BUT my pain. I feel like I am in a prison and no matter what keys I am supposed to have to get out, nothing will work. I won’t accept that I have options for my release. Once depressed –always depressed, that’s my mantra.
Today is your day. This is the day you are going to make a break ! This is your day to do something different. Namely, to listen for that other voice inside your head. You are going to hear that there is another way out. The lockdown is over. You don’t have to live this way. Isolated. Imprisoned and without hope.
In “I’ll do it when I feel better is written for all of us who are waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what, I ask? Yes, I know what you are waiting for–you are waiting for the depression to just disappear. Poof! And it’s gone. But you and I know better than that. We have been depressed for so long we can’t accept that we can do anything about our life sentence of misery. I have personally been at this struggle for so long that I know something very important about leaving behind the misery of our lives. The fact is that when we begin to take charge of our thoughts, feelings and lives, good things will begin to happen today. How? Talk to a person who has been there and is now recovered-living that life of hope. Read the hopeful material from folks who have successfully found that making today decision day is today.
Let’s be honest. I once faced the same feeling of being hopeless and despair. I never thought that I was able to dig out of the hole that I had been living in. My continuous negative and hopeless thinking eroded all the motivational energy that I might have had to try something that might work for me.
This is your day! You still have hours left in this day to make a decision to start the life that you have been wishing for. Throw the sheets off–get off the couch-call a friend–check out this website depressedanon.com discovering how to get motivated for something that will work for you. Why? Here you will find the written accounts of folks, just like you and me, who have begin to live one day at a time. They are making the most of each day. Many of us begin each 24 hours by saying this prayer, the moment upon awakening:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
It’s similar to putting your toe in the water. Too cold? Too hot? No, just right. Why? Because there is hope here. There are folks here who are available for you to talk with. There is an International online SKYPE group that meets every Sunday. People who need to talk with others about their own recovery using the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous.. People who are in recovery. These are those who are spending today reaching out to others for assistance. They find kindred spirits everywhere.
You can read hopeful stories of people like yourself in Depressed Anonymous who have made a decision to live each day with hope. For example, the following is Gloria’s story of how her “today” was on June 6, 1985. (First meeting of Depressed Anonymous was founded at this time).
“There are four of us who were together first on June 6th, 1985. We have become very good friends. I still remember what the counselor from the very first meeting told us. “I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped, some for just one meeting, some wanting a magic wand waved. It has helped me over the rough spots, and gave me courage to go on as a widow. I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me depressed at times. My Mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.
I will continue t attend Depressed Anonymous. Every time is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or a hug or who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God who loves all. ”
Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Annonymous Publications. Louisville.KY. (Personal Stories section. Page 141/In helping others I helped my self).
“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives. Free us of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we relax, and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for awhile.
We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we are shown all through the day what our next step will be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.” Bill W.
TODAY IS YOUR DAY! WHAT CAN YOU MAKE OF IT?
For more information please contact: depanon@netpenny.net.
www. depessedanon.com for BLOGS and information about depression and recovery tools.
Visit the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more information on how to order books online
SOURCES: (Copyright) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (1998, 2008, 2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.
(Copyright) I’ll do it when I feel better. Hugh Smith (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Page 101. Louisville. KY. (Quote from As Bill Sees it. The AA Way of Life… selected writings of A.A.’s co-Founder. AA World Services Inc., New York. 1967. Page 243.)
The following is a personal story of how a member of Depressed Anonymous used her anti-depression Tool Kit to disarm and dismantle symptoms of depression in her daily life.
I am no longer alone
” I am writing this information with the hope that it will help anyone who is suffering from depression that is brought on by stress, anxiety, loneliness, physical or mental emotions, death or insecurity.
I am a thirty-four year old single female, who has been suffering from depression for a long time. Most of my depression was brought on by feelings of insecurity, such as not being able to express my inner feelings, being controlled by a dominating parent, loneliness, stress, workaholic, anxiety attacks (related to work and everyday pressures of living), too much sleep, nervousness, lack of motivation, being tired all the time, sadness, weight gain, digestive problems, a feeling of being trapped, self-consciousness, not trusting myself, dreams of dying but yet managing to come back to life, withdrawal from family, or loss of interest in meeting with the opposite sex.
It seemed that I was living in another world until one of my parents gave me a phone number of Depressed Anonymous meetings, plus reading the Depressed Anonymous manual have provided me with the tools to live without being depressed. Most important of all, the Twelve Steps mentioned in the book have made me understand that God (my Higher Power) will give me strength to deal with my depression and get on with my life and be happy with myself.
The book with its Twelve Steps, has taught me that I am not alone. And that I am not the only one who is suffering from depression. It has taught me to believe more in my Higher Power and to let it handle my depression.
I read the Depressed Anonymous manual, go to counseling, and attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings. The meetings are a must. I need them to survive. The support group’s members help each other by listening, talking, expressing their feelings, and give support on how to cope with depression. By letting my Higher Power help me, I am beginning to feel free from depression. I am not so nervous and tensed up. My Christian inner faith is getting stronger. I am not so stressed out and I am beginning to get confidence within myself . I still have problems with sleep patterns and I am getting some motivation back. I have learned how to handle anxiety by taking deep breaths when I am nervous or troubled. This was suggested by my therapist. I am also learning how to stand up for myself.
All these new tools have helped me and will continue to do so. They also taught me not to dwell on my past, to live one day at a time, and to look forward to the future, but not live there. It will take me a long time to deal with depression, but I am glad that these tools are available. Life can be good for a change. Please don’t give up.”
-Anonymous.
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (Louisville, KY, 2011. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Pages 148-149.
Please go to MENU and click onto TOOLS* FOR RECOVERY. There you will discover those tools which can be used to dismantle those painful areas of your life which in the past have imprisoned you.
Read more stories of persons who have dismantled their own depression. Check out the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore and order online.
I know that I am going to be alright as long as I let God direct my thoughts today.
“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
I know that at first, when I was depressed, I wondered how this could apply to me. Then I realized that for so long I tried to live in the solitude and isolation of the comfort of my depression, where everything stood still. The way I lived my life was left unchallenged. I now realize that at the center of every one’s life must be the spiritual life of each of us and it is the amount of care and time that we give to this center that determines the amount of hope and change that we bring to our lives.
The more I plan to work my program, I admit that truly my life has been unmanageable since I have been hampered by my saddening myself, I can truly move forward and plan more pleasant and fun activities into my life.
MEDITATION
We ask you God, the center of our life, to continue to provide for us the necessary courage to know you on a more personal level so that we might have the daily courage to put our life and plan into your hands. (Personal comments).
SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 122.
VISIT THE STORE and learn more about Higher Thoughts for Down Days, now in a Kindle edition.
Want support? That’s what we all want for our lives, especially when we are depressed. This is certainly a fact as we sink deeper into the quagmire of a melancholy mood. Without support from others when we feel depressed — even hopeless — is a critical time for us. It’s a do or die moment. It’s time to make a decision. What do we want?
I think that for most of us who are or were depressed to have someone understand what we are living through–but let’s be frank–unless you yourself have experienced the deadening feeling of depression it is quite a leap for others to try and understand our experience if they have never been there themselves. And really this is the reason we have a support group for those of us who can come together and get support. We are not alone. We have walked the walk where we were all alone and in a continued isolation from family, friends and our world.
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
In a social diagnosis made by C. Lasch, (La cultura del narcissimo (Andres Bello, Barcelona. 1999). “who typified our contemporary culture as a culture of narcissism – a culture in which every person relies on himself alone and is horrified by old age and radically marginalizes the elderly.” (Dolentium Hominum. Church and Health in the world. xix. 2004.)
Social support for those of us who are or have been depressed has saved many of us from those deeper and life threatening forms of addiction, such as alcoholism, gambling, pornography, hoarding. We have become a materialistic throw away society, craving more things to consume and more things filling up the hole of our emptiness.
While having already personally experienced the power of the 12 spiritual principles of the 12 steps, plus a powerful social support of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous, I know of the power of being with others who just like myself, who find unconditional acceptance from the group. I also continue to learn about and use the many tools that keep me from relapsing back into depression . In Depressed Anonymous we all speak the same language of hope and recovery.
Dr. Aquilino Polaino-Lorento, a psychopathologist, in his article Is depression solely a matter of medical intervention? tells us “the absence of social support is not a cause of depression but is its consequence….less social support meaning a greater expression of symptoms.”
Here are more of his thoughts on social support and how that can be a predictor in a depressed persons’ response to therapy. He shares the following; Depressive illness in elderly patients is higher the lower the level of the social support they receive.The speed of the response to therapy correlates in both sexes with the social support they received. The higher the level of social support the more rapid the response.
Social support for many who are depressed is just not there. Period. It is a sad fact that there is even a stigma placed on persons depressed. A depressed person has need of other depressed persons who can give them hope that their experience doesn’t have to go on. The social support of a mutual aid group can give exactly this–support and hope. As persons depressed have a tendency to isolate themselves — and the less social support they receive the deeper the spiral into darkness.
So what we have here is that more persons in our modern societies are isolated and remote from others. We have become nomads looking for more things, more experiences that deepen a focus on oneself, pushes us away from the community however large or small, and contributes to an attitude of “it’s all about me.”
So is all we are left with is a society filled with isolated narcissists? No, that doesn’t have to be at all. But if we want help for those of us who are depressed, we learn that the greatest help can be not to judge, not to tell them how to live, but instead, listen and be present to them as friend.
In our Dep-Anon Family Group Manual we have a section titled
WHAT TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS DEPRESSED.
“It is more tempting, when you find out someone is depressed to immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed persons has given you the permission to be their therapist (as a friend or a professional) , the following responses are more likely to help.
The things that didn’t make me feel worse are the words which 1) acknowledge my depression for what it is (“No, its just a phase.”) 2) give me permission to feel depressed ( “But why should you be sad?) .
Here is a list of things that might be said to a depressed friend or family member. “
“I love you.”
“I care.”
“You are not alone in this.”
“I’m not going to leave you or abandon you.”
“Do you want a hug.”
“It will pass, we can ride it out together.”
“When all this is over, I’ll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you.”
“You are important to me.”
“We are not primarily on earth to see through someone –but to see one another through.”
“I am sorry that you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself so that you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.”
“I listen to you talk about it, and I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I just can’t imagine how hard it must be?”
“I can’t fully understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.”
If you need a friend…” (And mean it).
Here we are. There is hope and there is social support available.
For more information please read and learn about the HOME STUDY KIT which one can use as an individual with their therapist, family member or a friend.
The two works which comprise the Home Study Kit are:
Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
and
The Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. These two works comprise the Home Study Kit.
Depressedanon.com (here at this site) has a daily blog from which information and inspiration can be experienced.
VISIT THE STORE for other available literature. Remember, our literature is written by those of us who were depressed.
Hugh
“The power of persistent prayer is not that God will hear us, but that we will finally hear God.”