Category Archives: The 12 Steps

Acceptance, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Let’s Get Real – The “Snap Out Of It” Advice Doesn’t Get It!

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Let’s get real!  How often do we hear people who’ve   never been depressed  tell people depressed to just “snap out” of their depression? Answer? Too many times.

In our Manual,   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition  we read  “I don’t believe you can snap out of your depression, or suddenly   and dramatically get your life turned around by going to one Depressed Anonymous meeting, or reading the  12 steps  five times an hour. It just doesn’t happen that way, especially if you have lived with  your depression for any length of time. Even though we  emphasize  that  depression is not a disease, we do want you to know that depression over a long period of time can cause physical problems and upset the metabolism of the human organism. More and more, doctors see how  positive feelings, attitudes and emotions can help cancer patients maintain a remission and stay free of a recurring cancer condition. Unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, tension and depression all work against recovery.

I would call the sadness  that  has  been with us for as long as we can remember,  a learned way to respond to certain negative stimuli. What you will be doing when you come to a Depressed Anonymous meetings is to get involved in your own healing. You will find other men and women who are struggling with the same pain as you are. You will discover that the first step in coming to grips with depression that won’t  quit is for you to surrender it,  quit fighting it.  Let the God, as you understand God  take over your life and help let it restore you to sanity, peace and understanding of the way in which you can find the path  out of your depression and pain. Depressed Anonymous works if you begin the work of the spiritual program that we’re going to outline in this book.  Depression is a moral problem and as such there needs to be a moral solution,  one part of which is to admit that we are responsible for ourselves and that we can’t blame it on genes, psychological predispositions or one’s spouse or some other situation.  We are going to take charge. We choose to un-depress ourselves. Today! One day at a time!

…But let me warn you — it isn’t easy to do something different from what you have been doing  most of your life. This is especially true when it comes to the way we see ourselves, our world and others. There are no magic pills and no easy answers to bring us immediately out of this inner pain and anguish. It does take time and work.

If you really want to leave behind your painful sadness, the daily tears, and the feelings of worthlessness, then begin now to admit the unmanageable mess of your depression. You have had it with feeling out of control!

That’s the way it is with depression – over the years you get comfortable with feeling miserable, which doesn’t mean you like it, but that you’re just too afraid to risk doing something different. When you want to change and leave your depression behind, the choice that you want to make is immediately dashed to the ground because you  feel there is no hope for you. “I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and start to feel better,” you tell yourself. Most the time, we tell ourselves that we will do it when we feel better. (See reference to” I’ll do it when I feel better”   below). Folks, let me tell you something – you will never feel better until  you begin to physically get moving! We all know that we feel better only when we get into gear and get busy – distracting ourselves  from those ever present miserable  thoughts which whisper how bad we are and how hopeless life seems to be.”

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SOURCES: (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pgs. 31-32.

(c) I’ll will do it when I feel better. (2015) Hugh Smith. Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville.

(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002)(Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON DEPRESSION AND THE HEALING POWER OF THE 12 STEPS.

ALSO LEARN HOW TO USE THE HOME STUDY KIT FOR YOUR  PERSONAL RECOVERY PLAN OF ACTION!

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

A potent means of recovery

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The Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous. The Depressed Anonymous recovery program was modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous. which was originally developed  to help men and women deal with their addiction to alcohol one day at a time. The Twelve Steps have been found to be  a potent means of recovery for those who desire to free  themselves from their compulsions. The Twelve Steps are basically a program of letting go of our compulsions and handing over our will to the care of God, as we understand God. Essentially, our program is a Step by Step way to change not only our addiction, but our way of life. Change happens when we choose to change. The fellowship of the group and our desiring to make changes in our life is what provides our life-giving  spiritual experience. Most people  get organized religion and spirituality mixed up. Depressed Anonymous achieves strength from spirituality without set creed, dogma or doctrine. All the program asks of a person who come to the meetings is only to have a sincere desire to stop the compulsion of saddening themselves.

We make no apologies for our faith in a God that can restore us not only to sanity, but to serenity and joy as well.

“We never apologize for God. Instead, we let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.” Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

SOURCES: (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 162.

(c)  Believing is seeing: 15 Ways to leave the prison of depression (2016) Hugh Smith, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (1986, 2013) 2nd edition. Hugh Smith . Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky.

 

Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope, Journaling, Love, The 12 Steps

Being depressed means isolation

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How do I know if I’m depressed?

“Being depressed means isolation – and being cut off from everybody and everything.  It is like being in prison, like a pit where the walls are like soft clay and I cannot climb out. To me the isolation is pre-hell and often I feel so dead inside.  There is an awful feeling, that hole in my soul which is like a clenched fist.   I don’t know where to turn with all the pain and hurt. I can’t imagine anyone hurts the way I do and I hope no one does. I would never want to inflict this pain on anyone, so I tried to hold it inside and it seems like it’s too much to bear, especially alone. This is where Depressed Anonymous comes in – this is where powerlessness and God come in. There was no one to help, even to try to understand before Depressed Anonymous. No one wanted my pain  and others started  to avoid me.  I understand better now, especially since I’ve been around Depressed Anonymous via Hugh and the book Depressed Anonymous,3rd edition and the journaling I’ve done. My hope is that I will be more at peace and will try to use the  specific tools which continue to be  great helps in overcoming depression while  giving me  hope —  just for today.”

Source:  Mary C, Sterling Heights, Michigan.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition.(2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Visit the Store for more information on Depression and the use of the 12 Steps.

Fellowship, The 12 Steps

Withdrawal from friends is the first clue…

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  Withdrawing from friends  and other social contacts is the first clue that you’re slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression.   Move toward a friend, get a sponsor, and go to a 12 step meeting. Ask your higher power for that knowledge that can guide you onto the appropriate path. 

There are two times that we need to go to a 12 step meeting. 1) One, when we don’t want to go to a meeting and 2) secondly when we do want to go to a meeting.  From my personal experiences I can share with you that is when I go to my meeting that I’m able to come away from it with something positive to think about. I can honestly say that I feel better after a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I know in my heart that when I just want to sit at home by myself, isolating and ruminating within my head about all the horrible things that have happened to me, or are about to happen to me, that is when I depressed myself even more. Get connected!

CHOICE,  NOT CHANCE  DETERMINES DESTINY!

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing negative information, which describes how we habitually store the negative but continue to dump the positive information which 24/7 continually flows into our brain. These negative thoughts of feeling  persist  in  keeping us falling back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool  ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me and that is why I distance myself from everyone.  Part of my nature when  depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening me, like a child afraid of the dark.

I can only do what God wants me to do and I discover what this is by spending time alone with my God and meditation. Whatever we do, we need to know that our isolation and our withdrawing from friends and family, is an environment where depression grows strong.  Depression dies in the light of discussion.

Dorothy Rowe in  her award-winning book Depression: the way out of your prison, has an excellent section on isolation and depression. Let me quote it for you and then you can the draw your own conclusions

” Thus none of us can escape needing other people so that we can exist and not fear annihilation. But you who get depressed have decided to express your need for other people in ways which make it hard for you to live.

    Take the first form of existence – wanting to be part of a group and fearing isolation. If you see yourself as basically a good person and therefore with  something to offer other people, you have no fear of joining groups, of being part of the family, as much as you suffer loss, you know you’re able to find new friends and to help other people. But if you see yourself as basically a bad person, then the threat of expulsion from your group is expected and feared. Since  you do not value yourself, you cannot see people as wanting you to join them, either as a friend our helper. If disaster wrenched you away from your family you cannot see yourself surviving, and so no matter how much you come to hate your family you cannot let them go. They are your reference point of existence, and you fear that if you lose them, you will disappear…

     Seeing yourself as basically good reduces the need for other people’s approval. If you see yourself as basically good, you can set up a select group of people whose approval you desire and can be indifferent to the opinion of the multitude. But if you see yourself as basically bad then you need everybody’s approval…”   Dorothy Rowe. Depression: the way out of your prison. 1983. Harper Collins, London, UK. Page 111.

Source:  Copyright ( c)  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2002) D AP. Louisville. Kentucky. 40216. Pages 47-50.

Depressed Anonymous, The 12 Steps

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work! I then tried the 12 Step fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. It works!

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JANUARY 29

Affirmation

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work. I’ve tried the 12 Step way of Depressed Anonymous , it works! I’m beginning to feel that the people in my group really care for me.

“We cannot teach people forgiveness, but only show it by our own behavior, just as we cannot teach people to love but only show it by loving them.”

Clarification of thought

A group meeting is a sight to behold. Most self-help groups for persons depressed have their own format, but the one I am most familiar with is the one using the 12 steps of AA. It is a real joy to see how other members of the group are working the program, realizing that our program is a spiritual program. It is not a religious group…

The many people who are depressed and who come to the meeting, week after week, begin to feel better. It is one of the main areas of discussion. That is why people keep coming back to the meeting. They want to continue to feel good about themselves. They know that to feel better, they have to keep talking about their feelings.

The behavior that sets me apart from others in this world is that I always try to keep the focus on myself and not someone else. One of the main lessons that I get from the group members in our weekly discussion is that it is in others accepting us for what we are that makes a big difference. Also, I am never alone in my misery. Others know how I feel.

Meditation

Having the power to ask for help from God, as we understand God is a big step for us as we begin to trust this Higher Power who has taken on a new dimension since I am becoming an active member of this Depressed Anonymous group.

Source: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve-Step mutual aid groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 18.

Available on KINDLE. Also visit the store here at Depressed Anonymous Publications for other helpful resources.

Fellowship, The 12 Steps

Depression is so unpredictable and unchanging

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Life is unpredictable. Every living organism operates with a certain amount of unpredictability and uncertainty. The uncertainty of life creates in us a desire for predictability. If we did not believe in the possibility of change, we would all be hopelessly lost and forever  bored. Hope would be lost.  Potential far a better life would never exist. When there is hope, change is possible. The experience of depression is much the same. Depression is so predictable and unchanging that we lose hope for the pain of our isolation ever coming to an end.”

Introduction to Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Publications. Louisville.

This introduction introduces the journey of the author and founder of Depressed Anonymous. He based this important program of recovery on the 12 steps of AA.  In the introduction, there is a short autobiography of the founders’ life during his depression experience and the how life   was after his complete recovery.

Quoted from Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 19-23.

12 Step Meeting, Belief, Depressed Anonymous, Fear, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps

Unpleasant Emotions Such As Fear, Anger, Resentments And Tension Work Against Recovery

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”  I don’t believe that you can  snap out of your depression, or suddenly and dramatically get your life turned around by going to one Depressed Anonymous meeting, or reading the 12 Steps five times hour. It just doesn’t happen that way, especially if you have lived with your depression for any length of time.  Even though we emphasize that your depression is not a disease, we do want you to know that a depression over a long time could cause physical problems and upset the metabolism of the human organism… unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, tension and depression work against recovery.

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 31.

12 Step Meeting, Depressed Anonymous, Despair, Fellowship, Hope, Love, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

“We’ve got work to do.”

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When my grandson  was  3 years old  and older he would always say “papa, we ‘ve got work to do. ”  When he would see me with a hammer in my hand or a can of paint and ready to work on some repair project around our house,   without fail he would always be willing to pitch  in and do his part. As a little guy he always seemed so much older than what he was because of his strong desire to help his papa. He is 19 today and now he is doing his own  work. But not surprising is his continued willingness to help me when he can. Now that I am in recovery, thanks to our Depressed Anonymous program of recovery  and  after these many  years,   I am still free from depression.  I attribute that  this freedom is due to what I did learn  when I was depressed and continue using these tools on  every basis. I have found  that it does take some work to get through the darkest periods of the depression. It also takes a supportive group of men and women who know what we know,  and feel what we have felt when depressed.

Every meeting that we attend, and every step that we take on the road of our recovery, we find the fog lifts, the desire  to live again returns. Not all at once–but in short spurts – the fog lifts and we feel the hope churning in our hearts and minds.  And at every Depressed Anonymous meeting we hear the following words read from HOW DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKS.

“You are about to witness the miracle of the group. You are joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how hope, light and energy have been regained by those who were hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By your involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better. But we are not the people with the magic wand and the  easy formula for success. We believe  that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

And so at each and every Depressed  Anonymous meeting the group listens as we hear  what it will take to escape  from the prison of depression. ”

Also, at every meeting of the fellowship we hear how by using the spiritual tools, our Twelve Steps, we can gradually find the path that will that can lead us out into the light of freedom. We come to believe that a power greater than ourselves  can restore us to sanity. And then we make a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God as we understand God.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Page  67.

PLEASE VISIT THE STORE for more info on depression and ways to free ourselves from the agony of sadness.

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The 12 Steps

The Goose Who Missed His Flight! Almost

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Albert Schewietzer shares a wonderful story about one creature caring for another. He makes this an example of how we all can have a “reverence for all life.” This is his story.

”  It happened in a park where a flock of wild geese had settled to rest on a pond. One of the flock of wild geese had settled to rest on  a pond. One of the flock had been captured by a gardener, who had  clipped its wings before releasing it.  When the geese start to resume their flight, this one tried,  frantically, but vainly, to lift itself in the air. The others, observing his struggles, flew about in obvious efforts to encouraghe him, but it was no use. Thereupon, the entire flock settled back on the pond and waited, even though the urge to go on was strong within them. For several days they waited until the damaged feathers had grown sufficiently to permit the goose to fly.  Meanwhile, the unethical gardener, converted by the ethical geese, gladly watched them as they finally rose together and all resumed their long flight.”

SOURCE: Albert Schweitzer:  Essential writings, (2005)   Orbis Books. New York. Page 164.

I love this story. So true about all living creatures, it’s in our  DNA to care for those  who are the weakest.  Even the geese knew it was for them to be sure this little goose was not going to be left behind..no matter what. And so they waited…and waited some more, till  he was able and  ready to fly with the rest of them. As they say in the military, “We got your back.”

I believe that the story about the goose who couldn’t fly is much like the stories you and I have shared. In other words, I too have had the time when I was isolated, alone and motionless. I was totally immobilized by fatigue, fear and shame.

I became imprisoned. The key out of this prison eventually was found and I was free. I was free because of others who just like me had once  succumbed to the belief that they were worthless, useless and  hopeless. And thank God they came to my rescue and helped me learn to live again without the weight of depression forcing me to the dirt. And there you have it. They helped me, step by step, to sort things out in my life and I was able to not only live life again, but I also learned a lot about living the Twelve Step recovery way. Now we have Depressed Anonymous fellowship recovery groups  where we  are able to share our hope, strength and experiences.  If you are feeling stranded and alone, join us and fly with us.

DA Literature, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Kindness, Purpose, The 12 Steps

I wasn’t taking care of myself

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AFFIRMATION

I am going to choose to do one thing today that I can find pleasant. I will keep a list of things that I do for myself that I can always have at hand something that I like to do.

“You can’t please everybody. I wasn’t taking care of myself, so that  I contributed to my depression but I will live  the best I know how. But I will never deliberately hurt anyone else but I am going  to take care of me too.”

CLARIFICATION OF MY THOUGHT/  A REFLECTION

 

I am discovering over time that I was the one responsible for my sadness.  I have come to accept  the reality and the truth that I am the one who is causing the depression and that I need to learn the different ways to get out of the depression. In the past, I had always been willing to crawl along in life but now I am learning how to stand up for myself and begin to recover my true self and be my best self now that I have all the tools. The tools that I am now using, the Twelve Steps, are freeing me up for  a life with hope instead of despair and dread.

In the past, my life was filled with hurt and pain. In fact, the hurt goes back so far that I can’t even remember why I hurt so much. All I know now is that I want to choose to feel good.  Just like Bill W., a co-founder of A.A., I do have the belief that someday my days of fear, anxiety and dread will be  a thing of the past.

MY MEDITATION FOR TODAY

God of hope and serenity, let us just live  in your peace today. We want to absorb each and all your  messages of hope for our soul and spirit. We are waiting on you. We are listening to your voice so that we might learn the best way to take godly care of ourselves.”

Personal comment

SOURCE: Copyright(c) HIGHER THOUGHTS  FOR DOWN DAYS: 365  daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 

A KINDLE EDITION OF HIGHER THOUGHTS IS AVAILABLE.

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