All posts by Hugh Smith

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose, Service, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps, The Promises

There is a time for holding on and a time for letting go

Leave a comment

There are times when we are barely holding on and times when we have to let go.
The United States is in the beginning of weather changes that have never before been seen by most of us in this country. There are the wildfires that are burning out of control in the Western regions of the country, and flooding that most people have never experienced in their lifetimes. Just recently, in my on State of Kentucky, thirty-eight people lost their lives in an early morning flooding which affected sixteen counties in Eastern Kentucky. The extent and magnitude of this flooding was so huge that older Kentuckians had never witnessed such devastation. Previous to that, Kentucky was blasted by a Tornado 12 miles wide and 200 miles in length. It sped through Kentucky 150 miles an hour. Whole communities were wiped out. Again, another example of the powerful changes in our weather.
Sea levels rising, as ice caps continue melting in both poles. The whole planet and its’ people ( including you and me) are holding on for things to come. Some of us, more than we know, are holding on to their lives. So many losses, so much of what we have valued are gone. With all of that we are still going through the pandemic. We are holding on.
We are finding that the grief and destruction that is ours, as family, community, nation, is beginning to turn our world upide dwon as we know it.
In a positive way, some of us are holding on to what has given us hope with a sense of security. By this I mean, that when we become afraid, depressd and isolated we can still spiral out of the bad mood over all our losses and enter into a new mood of hope and serenity. And how does this happen? For those of us who are depressed, we discovered a program of recovery that works.This is a 12 Step program of rcovery called Depressed Anonymous. It is a program where persons with the same faith and practice of the Steps, come together in a fellowship and mutually support each other, in ours times of loss. We hold onto the promises of DA,where we learn what happens to those of us when we place our trust in a God of our understanding. We not only begin to hold onto the belief that we will get better, we also begin to discover and root out those personality defects which keep us imprisoned and isolated. We felt there is no help in sight. Not true. Members of our recovering fellowship show us how by putting into effect the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps how our lives begin to change for the better.
It is in the “letting go” of the areas of our lives that made life feel hopeless and ourselves worthless. We soon found that the negative ways that we talked to ourselves were counterproductive. Once we began to affirm the good in ourselves, we were able to find ways that gave us new hope.

We came to believe that there was a God of love on our side, who manifested its power, daily working out in our mind and body, the belief that we too are able to find peace and help as we continue to live with meaning and purpose for our life.
Hold onto the belief that the God of your understanding will bring you peace and a new way of living. This new way of living will give you resources, plus a beloved community, supporting each of you on your journey of hope.

Please go to our website at depressedanonymous.org and find out more of who we are and what we believe. You will be happy that you did.

With a gratitude,

Hugh S.

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Choice, Courage, Ego Deflation, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Purpose, Service, Supportive Actions

Acceptance that “we are partners in a common effort”

Leave a comment

How wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be.

Service gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted, solved with God’s help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, that in God’s sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things, these are the satisfactions of right living for which no pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions could possibly be substitutes.

SOURCES
The Twelve and Twelve/Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Ny, NY.
–Quoted in DEP-ANON: A 12 Step Recovery Program for Families and Friends of the Depressed. DAP. Louisville, KY 40241. Pages 14-15.

12 Step Meeting, Addiction, Choice, Compulsion, Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Helpful, Honesty, Meditation, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Pain, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, The Promises

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Leave a comment


1. I walk down the street
There is a Deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost..I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe that I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still a long time to get out.

3. I walk down the same street.
There is a hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5. I walk down another street.

NOTE
This poem appeared in The Antidepressant Tablet.Volume 2.4. Winter, 1991 Edition, P.3
Portia Nelson, 2001 This poem is copyrighted. Please credit the author.

Belief

Missing my sad thoughts

Leave a comment

Some days I miss my sad thoughts, They are addictive. They fill a space in me and meet a requirement of comfort and familiarity. Humans require and seek a level of comfort and familiarity. The depressed human is no different. Sadly, it’s the sad thoughts that provide the deep level of comfort. When I remove the sadness I have to work to replace that big open field of nothingness left. It feels hard. It feels like work. Pressure and effort. I want to fall back into the sad thinking because, I know very well how to form those sad thoughts and how to feel them. How to make use of them. Strangely, they serve a strong purpose. They validate my depression and vice a versa They have lived inside of me for so long that to fill the void of their space feels so hard. It feels like big shoes to fill. I feel pressed, just trying. My mind is having to accept this new training I am putting it through. It doesn’t want to change. It is not welcoming of these new positive thoughts at first. It is a struggle. My mind wrestles back and forth. “I just want to go home to my bed. No, no! You want to keep grocery shopping! No, no! Please, I need to just lie down. I’m leaving this store!! I am so depressed. No, no! You are going to do your task today, because it will make you feel better.”

“The better part of me wins and I refuse to be held captive, a victim to this negative dark thinking that is killing me. So, I continue to do the grocery shopping with an internal mind struggle going on. The whole day seems to continue like this. The back and forth tug-of-war in my mind! It takes time to truly train the mind to accept the incoming positive thoughts. Affirmations are a needed daily medicine for the saddened mind for sure. It takes consistency. I ask myself how bad do I want to feel better? I continue to retrain my mind every single day. Slowly, I miss my sad thoughts less and less. I feel the need for the positive affirmations more and more. This is the process of healing the depressed mind and thus, my feelings. I look forward to a time where I will not miss my sad thoughts and the struggle between the positive and the negative thoughts will not be such a big part of my day.

-Debra NC

“Slowly I need the positive affirmations more and more.”

COPYRIGHT(C) Debra Sanford. A MEDLEY OF DEPRESSION STORIES 2017. First Edition. Printed in the United States coif America. Pages 20-21.

Faith, Gratitude, Step 02, Supportive Actions

Just in the nick of time

Leave a comment

Today, I was in search of a 12 Step facility, where a member of the Louisville, KY DA fellowship, and myself, were looking to start a face to face Depressed Anonymous meeting. The first meeting was to start and continue on every Tuesday of the month.

Not familiar with this part of town, I realized that I was lost. So, having landed in a large shopping mall, and not knowing my around in this area, I stopped and asked a guy heading into a grocery store. The conversation went like this:

“Hey,” I said, “do you know where a large Bingo Hall is located down this way? I’m looking for a facility that is adjacent to this building, an AA Club house. Can you help me?”

“Well, sure” he answered. “It’s about three stop lights down the road. You can’t miss it.”

I thanked him, telling him that I didn’t want to lose my serenity, and he answered, “or your sobriety.”

I found the place, went in, got a cup of coffee, and started to look around. Just about this time, a man walked into the lobby. Surprised, I was sure he was the same guy that had given me directions.

“Oh, good,” he said, “you made it. I just wanted to make sure that you did make it. I would have felt bad if you hadn’t.”

I thanked him for his help. I asked his name. “Nick” he said. “I come to meetings here and I live right across the road.” I told him my name and I hoped we would meet again. I feel sure that we will.

For myself, who was lost, he showed up, just in the NICK of time. With all the people I could have asked for directions, my Higher Power made sure it would be a friend of Bill W., who would have us meet.

There will be more to this story, I am sure, but it hasn’t been revealed to me yet. I do remember, we are on God’s time, and God is always on time.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

Belief, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Step 01, Step 06, Step 12

Lois, wanted to get rid of her pain

Leave a comment

“It was December of 1992 that I made that decision. I know that I was powerless over depression and that my life had become unmanageable. I was willing g to do anything that Depressed Anonymous offered. I wanted to get rid of the pain. If Depressed Anonymous had told me that I would get well if I stood on my head three times a day, I would have done it. Daily, I read from the book and consciously worked the Twelve Steps. I worked them one Step at a time, from Step One through Step Twelve. Working the Steps to me meant posting the Step I was working on and consciously pondering it throughout the day.”

Our friend and member of our fellowship, Lois, continues to share with us her story and her experiences as a member of Depressed Anonymous.

“I no longer experience those black, bleak, and hopeless periods. My life is joyful. Then why do I continue to go to Depressed Anonymous meetings five years later? The Twelfth Step of this program “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principle in all of our affairs.” I am so grateful to Depressed Anonymous that I want to be there for those who are still suffering.
The final situation that brought me to my knees and to Depressed Anonymous has not improved. In fact, it appears to be deteriorating. Our book tells us(in the section which discusses Step Six) that many would no longer express themselves if they could be sure there wouldn’t be any more pain. No one can be promised a bed of roses without pain.

Today I view the situation as ‘unfolding’ and my spiritual journey is unfolding with it. My Higher Power is in charge.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3RD EDITION. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Pages 110-111. Personal Stories.

All Depressed Anonymous publications can be ordered online. See https://depressedanonymous.org/literature for more information.

Choice, Faith, Helpful, Hope, Meditation, Serenity

Graffiti Wisdom

Leave a comment

“Here is a poem that I found graffitied on a wall recently. It was signed “Hank”:

“your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank
submission
be on the watch there are ways out
there is light somewhere
it may not be much light but
it beats the
darkness
be on the watch
the gods will offer you
chances.
be on the watch
know them, take them
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life
sometimes
and the more often
you learn to do it
the more light there will
be
your life is your life
know it while you have
it
you are marvelous
the gods wait in delight
in
you.”

Quotation from:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete WALKER. Copyright by Pete Walker
An Azure Coyote Book /2013 www.Pete WAlker.com First Edition
ISBN 14972871842 1SBN 9781492871842 All Rights Reserved
Printed In the United States of America

12 Step Meeting, Affirmations, Choice, Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Helpful, Hope, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Serenity, Service, Spirituality, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

If you need anything, let me know

2 Comments

These are the words from a woman who has a dementia. The words always come with a smile. She doesn’t remember my name nor my wife’s name. She just knows that we are someone that she sees often coming to visit. I had initially found it strange that she would say this at the end of every visit–as I was painfully aware that this is not possible now, at this stage of her dementia.

Here is my point. I knew her when she did knew my wife and I. She always ended our visits with this warm offer of help, if “we needed it”. I believe that there are places in her brain, memories, that are triggered when loved ones leave after visiting. She didn’t just start saying this, like it was something brand new. Her whole life was spent helping others -seeing if anyone needed her help. In earlier days, if they did need help, she was there for them.

This statement, “if you need anything”, is one of our groups commitment to those who suffer from depression. If you are depressed, we are there to help you. When you knock at our door, online or real, we invite and welcome you into our fellowship. Here you will find helpful ways to deal with and overcome your own depression. You will also find good people who will not judge you because of your depression.

Each of us is on our own recovery journey, some of us just beginning, some further along and some who come back to help others, and sharing all the positive ways that they have improved their own lives. We heard the same supportive words as you are hearing today. So, as my friend tells us, if You need anything, how can we help you? And one thing that we always do provide,is hope! We want you to come to a Depressed Anonymous fellowship meeting today, where you will be able to personally share with us how we can help you. We look forward to meeting you.
Hugh S

Please check out our website here (depressedanonymous.org) for more information about attending DA meetings online and/or face to face.

All Or Nothing Thinking, Anxiety, Choice, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mindfulness, Purpose, The Promises

Life is unpredictable

Leave a comment

Life is unpredictable. Every living organism operates with a certain amount of unpredictability and uncertainty. The uncertainty of life creates in us a desire for predictability. If we do not believe in the possibility of change, we would all be hopelessly lost and forever bored. Hope would be lost. Potential for a better life would never exist. When there is hope, change is possible. The experience of depression is much the same. Depression is so predictable and unchanging that we lose hope for the pain of our isolation ever coming to an end.

–Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. From the Introduction, Page 20.

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Purpose, Service, The 12 Steps

As I changed the script, the scenarios of my life got better

Leave a comment

“When I was depressed I thought that my sad feelings would keep me forever shut up in the prison and pain of depression. I continued to believe quite falsely, that I would never feel good again. In time though, and by believing in my Higher Power, I forced myself to get active in my own recovery and focus on my strengths and abilities. As I changed the script the scenarios of my life got better!

I will depend on this Power greater than myself to help me through disabling times of depression.I will live only for this day and so I will have the freedom from worry about yesterday and the projected hurts about tomorrow.”

My thoughts about changing the script of my life are the following:
1) Instead of letting my negative thoughts overwhelm me and force me into submission, I now think thoughts of hope.
2) My thinking and behavior are solution focused. I now tell myself and believe that I have the ability tom make favorable decisions in my behalf.
3)I have found the people (Depressed Anonymous fellowship) who live positive lives with their own living script, giving hope to risk living their lives without fear of being abandoned or isolated in that prison of depression. If I believe that I have created my own prison, I also believe that I have a choice to stop putting bricks into a structure that only isolated and paralyzed my abilities and efforts to climb out of the hole of depression.
4)I gain new positive beliefs about myself from other members of the fellowship. Those mistaken believes that I once held about myself are gradually stricken from my personal script, as the scenarios of my life begin to change for the better.
5) Every day I have a fresh start as I continue to thrive while my moods provide me with a startling and new found energy, plus a host of friends who speak a language of hope.
6) Best of all, I can go to a live ZOOM meeting of the fellowship every day, with meetings at night during the week. And finally, you will only be as isolated as you decide. You are not alone.

Hugh S.

For more information, please click onto our website at depressedanonymous.org. We welcome all who want to learn how to keep from saddening themselves.

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pages 89-90 .