Category Archives: Choice

Acceptance, Choice, Mutual Aid, Service, Stress, The 12 Steps

Mental Health Strategies for Coping With Anxiety and Panic

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The following are some of the ways that we can cope and deal positively with panic and anxiety.

  1. Remember that although your feelings and symptoms are very frightening, they are not dangerous or harmful.
  2. Understand that what you are experiencing is just an exaggeration of your normal bodily reaction to stress.
  3. Do not fight your feelings or wish them away.The more that you are willing to face them, the less intense they will become.
  4. Do not add to your panic by thinking about what “might” happen. If you find yourself asking “what if?” Tell yourself “So what.”
  5. Stay in the present. Notice what is really happening to you as opposed to what you think might happen.
  6. Label your fear level from zero to ten and watch it go up and down. Notice that it that it does not stay at a very high level for more than a few seconds.
  7. When you find yourself thinking about the fear, change your “what if” thinking. Focus on and carry out a simple and manageable task, such as counting backward by 3’s or snapping a rubber band on your wrist.
  8. Notice when you stop adding fearful thoughts to your fear, it begins to face.
  9. When th fear comes, expect and accept it . Wait and give it time to pass, without running away from it.
  10. Be proud of yourself for your progress thus far, and think about how good you will feel when you succeed this time.

Reprinted courtesy of the Mental Health Association. Understanding panic disorder.

Choice, Positivity, Supportive Actions

Golden Rules For Living

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1.If you open it, close it.
2.If you turn it on, turn it off.
3.If you unlock it, lock it up.
4.If you break it, admit it.
5.If you can’t fix it, call on someone who can.
6.If you value it, take care of it.
7.If you make a mess, clean it up.
8.If you borrow it, return it back.
9.If you move it, move it back.
10. If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
11.If you don’t know how to operate it, leave it alone.
12.If it’s none of your business, don’t ask questions.
– Author Unknown

This article appeared first in THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET, Volume 6. No.1 Autumn 1994.
Submitted by Hugh S.

Acceptance, Choice, Fellowship, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Step 11, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

Change always involves uncertainty

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“When we listen we learn, and to learn means to keep listening. Is there anything today that you have learned by listening. Write down what you have heard that specially applies to you today. Write down what you have learned.
Dorothy Rowe wrote the following:
Dangers,perhaps even greater dangers threaten you if you leave your prison of depression for the ordinary world. There you might have to change, and change always involves uncertainty. The good thing about being depressed is that you can make every day be the same. You can be sure of what is going to happen. You can ward off all those people and events that expect a response from you. Your prison life has a regular routine, and like any long-term prisoner, you grow accustomed to the jail’s security nd predictability. The prison of depression may not be comfortable, but at least it is safe. ”

SOURCES; The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky Page 85. Question 11.19.
*Originally appeared in Rowe, D., Depression: The way out of your prison. Page 127.

12 Step Meeting, Affirmations, Choice, Community building, Courage, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Focus, Prayer, Service, The 12 Steps, The Promises

Not everything faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced

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I have found this statement, by James Baldwin to be as true as day is long. I also know from my own experiences. When fear comes upon us like a dark cloud, we are tempted to run. When an obstacle prevents us from reaching a goal, we stop. But when we make that decision to face the problem, good things start to happen.

Today, I am going to choose to face the problem-whatever that might be. I am choosing to use the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous to make this happen.

Hugh S.

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Gratitude, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps, The Promises

The rear view mirror as a metaphor for our recovery path

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How many times does it happen that we make a review of our personal recovery progress within our Depressed Anonymous fellowship? In a sense, it is like looking backward in our rear view mirror, taking a closer look at our recovery path,an inventory,if you will, of our positive and negative areas of our life. All with the belief, that our willingness, honesty and openness to that power greater than ourselves to change for the better, we make the choices to change, and live with serenity.

My memories of that first time that I walked through the door of recovery, is still fresh in my mind. This was the beginning of the journey of hope for myself and for all of us. Now, many years later, or maybe just a few months later , it is in looking back, that we can see that our lives have been changing, for the better, Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. We now live in hope, one day at a time.

We can see the way it was, and the way it is now, the difference between night and day. We are living in the light of hope, and with work, prayer and a loving fellowship that continues to embrace and fortify us for the journey ahead, we are grateful.

A member of another fellowship share, how “it was hard or impossible to recognize or appreciate the slow going of his recovery to see his his progress, until long after they took place. Looking back, THROUGH HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR he celebrates all the important and astounding things that HAVE happened to him in recovery.”
Please continue to move forward and then take a look now and then and give thanks and be grateful for where you are standing today.

Hugh, for the fellowship

A paraphrased quote From the Grapevine Daily Quote.Fort Worth Texas, November 2006, Where’s the miracle?, Step by Step. Submitted by Robin R.

Choice, Community building, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Helpful, Hope, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Negativity, People Pleasing, Positivity, Purpose, Service, The 12 Steps

Wellness Steps: A personal fitness plan that builds self-esteem

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BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

  1. Appraise yourself: Identify strengths and problem areas.
    – Check out the Depressed Anonymous Workbook for a 12 Step self-study of one’s strengths and problem areas.
  2. Try changing in small ways. Keeping it simple and manageable.
  3. Emphasize your positive skills, talents and strengths. A sponsor will be most helpful in leading you to discover your hidden strengths. When we are depressed and in lockdown, it is hard to see the light. In the beginning, you will let the Da fellowship group serve as the key to unlock your potential.
  4. Take what others say at face value- Free yourself from the burden of figuring out others motives.
  5. Choose role models you respect. It’s possible that your presence at a DA meeting will discover others who are making the 12 Steps recovery program work for them, finding serenity an hope.
  6. Stop activities you don’t like or have an aptitude for. Examples: People pleasing, isolating oneself from friends and family, catastrophic thinking, having negative thoughts about self, not trusting others.
  7. Accepting yourself without judgment. Use the “SUNSPOTS” or the “Rule of Threes” to discipline oneself to use what works for you and leave the negatives behind. (See Pages 47-48 in DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS. 3rd EDITION. Depressed Anonymous Publications. 2011.)Please read the story of Margie, a charter member of Depressed Anonymous, as she shares her story. Personal Stories section.#31. Page 131. Depressed Anonymous.
  8. Talk to your friends. This is an avenue that leads you to finding who you are. The DA fellowship, which meets every day.(Check out Website for meeting information). Here in this group, your friends will share how their Journey of Hope gave them a most valuable gift–namely, a choice to work their way out of depression or to continue to live a life of misery and hopelessness.
  9. Choose one particular task and do it. Just one task. One small baby step. Keep it simple. Stay in the now–one day at a time. Walk and get out into nature. Walk around the block. Use the TOOLS of Recovery. (See Homepage at depressedanonymous.org and click onto TOOLS of Recovery menu. You will find an array of ways to begin your own life journey, with a commitment for your own personal wellness and fitness.)
  10. Take charge of your life and set goals. Make decisions. Take some risks. Reach out to others for help!

Depression thrives and grows strong in isolation where the depressed individual can spend time ruminating over past defects and self-alleged wrongdoing. The very worthlessness can grow in this darkened environment. But if the solitary confinement is to end, the depressed person has the right and the responsibility to examine the various ways to fight back the isolation, immersing oneself in a supportive and healing environment. If there is no environment where they feel safe and secure, one will have to buildup their courage and get one. You cannot think yourself out of depression. You hold the key that will unlock your prison of depression. We recommend that you start using it now.

Hugh S.

(C) Copyright. Shining a light on the dark night of the soul.: A personal experience for healing the darkness of depression. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3rd Edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 47-48.
(c) The Depressed Antonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Please visit the DA literature store for more information.

Affirmations, Belief, Choice, Community building, DA Literature, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, I'll Do It When I Feel Better, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

One of the great paradoxes of human life…

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DECISION 12 : “I will learn to share my sadness with others and to share their sadness.” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds. Understanding depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Page 271.

“One of the great paradoxes of human life is that, in the way that we are born and die and in between create our own unique world of meaning, we are always atone, yet the only way that we can live with the essential aloneness is to share our life with other people.” Page 271.

Dear Reader, this concludes our journey of how to Leave Loneliness Behind. By making the 12 Decisions our own, and living out these truths as presented to us by Dorothy Rowe, we can leave loneliness behind.
I give total credit to Dr. Rowe, psychologist, for her wisdom, that she shares with us here in BREAKING THE BONDS.
Jill Tweedie. a reviewer, tells us that the writer Dorothy Rowe, is the “light at the end of the tunnel.” If you make that decision to read this work, I know you will agree.

Hugh S.

12 Step Meeting, Anger, Avoidance, Choice, DA Literature, Fellowship, Purpose, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

The best way to live with sadness is to share it

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DECISION 11: I will let go of envy and allow myself to be sad.

“Actually, envy is only possible when we distance ourselves
from people. Once we get close to other people and discover their point of view, we discover also that all people have their own troubles. Every advantage in life has its own disadvantages. Envying people is a waste of time. And time runs out for all of us. Even if we never wasted time being frightened, angry, envious, lonely and depressed, we still could not fit into a lifetime of all the marvelous things we could do.”

Dorothy reminds us that “the best way to live with sadness is to share it.”

Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds: Understanding Depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Pages 270-271.
(Leaving Loneliness Behind. The Twelve Decisions.)

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Belief, Choice, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Focus, Helpful, Hope, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, The Promises

I will try to improve my understanding of my behavior

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LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND: 12 DECSIONS

“DECISION 7: I WILL TRY TO IMPROVE MY UNDERSTANDING OF MY BEHAVIOR.”

All actions have consequences. and they are usually different from what we expect.

In a situation where we want our cake and eat it too, we always try to have both, but we learn that in trying to get both, we lose both.

If you are to improve your skills in understanding people, in order to rid your loneliness, working out the consequences OF what you and others do, is extremely important.

You really have to develop more flexible ways in dealing with the consequences when the consequence is anger.”

TOMORROW DECISION 8: I WILL BE MORE ACCEPTING OF OTHER PEOPLES ANGER AND NOT TAKE It PERSONALLY.”

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Leaving Loneliness Behind (4) – Dismantling the Barriers

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DECISION 4. “i will be interested in the other person.”

“The best gift that you can give another person is to take an interest in them.”

Taking the other peron seriously, means being concerned about what they are concerned about. Remember little things about your new friend. Ask, if they life to read? Do they prefer Fiction or non-fiction? Do they like to go to movies? What are their hobbies?

You have to listen to another person to really know one. Seem simple enough? Be sure and share some of the things that you like to do with your free time.
People feel good when someone wants to know something about them.”

Reader. Please add something in your own life that you like to talk about with new friends. Do you like to share things which you are proud of in your life?

Tomorrow: (5) Leaving Loneliness Behind. I WILL improve my skills in Listening and asking questions. This is my way to get to know the other person.