Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Choice, Courage, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Helpful, Isolation, Powerlessness, Supportive Actions, Victim Thinking

The Path and the Holes

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I was walking down a path and I encountered a 40-foot hole. I fell in. The hole was very deep, dark, dirty and miserable.  I was all alone.  I looked around and saw no way out.  So I stayed there.  I made a bed out of the dirt, and sought comfort in the hole. And I stayed there longer.  After a long while, I was rescued.  I eventually got out, and continued down the path.

I walked along the path and I encountered a 30-foot hole. I fell in.  The hole was deep, dark and miserable. I was all alone.  I saw no way out. I stayed there.  I eventually was rescued, and I continued along the path.

I walked along the path and found a backpack labeled “DA.”  I picked up the backpack and put it on.

I walked along the path and I encountered a 25-foot hole. I fell in.  The hold was deep, dark and miserable. I had a backpack with me.  I unpacked the tools and I did not know how to use them. I tried, and I eventually climbed out of the hole. I continued along the path.

I walked along the path and I encountered a 10-foot hole. I fell in.  The hole was mid-sized, dim, and miserable. I had a backpack with me.  I unpacked the tools and had an idea how to use them. I climbed out.  I continued along the path.

I walked along the path and I encountered a 5-foot hole. I fell in.  The hole wasn’t very deep, but it was miserable. I had a backpack with me.  I unpacked my tools and used my favorite ones. I climbed out. I continued along the path.

Today, I walk along the path and I encounter shallow holes that I fall in.  I have my backpack with tools I know how to use.  I use them and I climb out.

And I continue along the path.

Belief, Depressed Anonymous, Helpful, Higher Power, Hope, Step 02

Step 2 and Hope

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Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Hopelessness is common in depression. Many members identify with thoughts like “life is bleak and things will never change,” “I’ve lost the ability to enjoy life – I just endure it,” or “What’s the point anyhow?” Underneath all of these thoughts is the lack of hope. Hope is the principle behind Step 2. So how does a member work Step 2 and regain hope?  Let’s break it down!

Came to believe – This little phrase tells us that we don’t have to have hope when we come in the program. Instead, it is something that we develop over time! When we come to meetings and hear the stories of how others who suffered like us have found a way out of their depression, we start to think “Maybe, just maybe, there is hope for me too!” We don’t need hope to make a beginning.  All we need is to be open to the possibility of hope.

Power greater than ourselves – This program gives us the freedom to identify our own Power greater than ourselves, or our own Higher Power.  We don’t even have to use the word “God.” We can choose a term that suits us, such as Creative Intelligence or Spirit of the Universe. We can use the group as our Higher Power, or God as we understand Him/Her. The main idea here that we agree upon is that there is some Power greater than us in this universe.

Restore us to sanity – One definition of sanity is “soundness of mind.” When I am in the grips of depression, I am not very sound of mind. My thinking is distorted so that I view life through a dark depressive lens. I amplify the negative and don’t see any positive. This distorted view of the world is not rational. Furthermore, I cannot see the irrationality of it when I am in the midst of depression. What I need is some power greater than myself – some force for Good – to help restore me to sanity.

So putting the pieces together, if I am open to the possibility that there might be something out there that can help me get better, then I am on my way!  When I came into the program I listened to the stories of the members of Depressed Anonymous; I heard how they suffered like I did and how they gradually began to experience recovery. I started out with the group as a Power greater than myself that could help restore me to sanity.  Today, my Higher Power is something more. At first, I was skeptical. Later, I slowly opened up to the possibility that maybe this could work for me. Today, I KNOW that there is a Power Greater than myself that restores me to sanity on a daily basis. Today, I know hope is alive and real! I Came, I Came to, and I Came to Believe in Hope.

Choice, Focus, Mindfulness, Purpose

The OODA Loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act

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The OODA Loop – Observe, Orient, Decide, Act
Training methodology for US fighter pilots
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

OK, the vast majority of us will never be a fighter pilot. There is something that we can use from their training in our struggle against depression.

Observe – Become aware of your emotions. Are you: sad, mad, glad, lonely, embarrassed, guilty? If it’s not one of those you are probably tightly coupling an emotion with a judgment. Where do those emotions show up in your body?

Become aware of your feelings – what are you physically sensing in this moment? Not judging something as good or bad, just sensing. I’m wet because it’s raining – not it’s raining and my life sucks.

Become aware of your thoughts. Are you in stinking thinking? Are you in some sort of cognitive dissonance? Are you planning, reminiscing, ruminating?

Orient – Now that you are aware of your current state (emotions, feelings, thoughts) what impact is your current state having on your depression? What are your options? Are there things that could think or do or change in your surroundings that would help your depression and lessen it?

Decide – Come up with a plan of what to do. Be willing to try new things. Decide on a course of action.

Act – Deciding was the hard part – just take action. Execute your plan.

The OODA loop is not a one and done proposition. You need to go back into the OODA loop. What was the outcome of the prior loop? Did your actions lessen or increase your suffering? Let go of the terms good & bad – there is too much emotional baggage with those terms. Think of using helpful or unhelpful – these are neutral words that don’t have the same baggage associated with them.

Do not try to be perfect in executing your OODA loop. Observe, orient, decide, act. Then do that again. You will get better at it over time. Your depression will lift. Be willing to be aware, come up with options, decide on a course of action then act!

You are worth it. You are worthy of healing.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Belief, Choice, Faith, Focus, Purpose

The FREEDOM FROM checklist

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NOTE: This article was written and submitted by Robin R., a member of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship of recovery.

Below is a list of Twelve qualities we gain from working the Depressed Anonymous program of recovery, namely the FREEDOM FROM Checklist. So, how many boxes can you circle/check off?

  1. Freedom from the compulsion to sadden myself and circular thought patterns. (See Circle Dance DA blog @ 10/30/2022)
  2. Freedom from insanity and hopelessness
  3. Freedom from the bondage of self and freely giving of your time and yourself to those in need
  4. Freedom from dishonesty, especially with yourself
  5. Freedom from isolation: the “One Mans’ Island” permanent vacation theme
  6. Freedom from running the show and urges of deceptive control
  7. Freedom from excessive self reliance: I don;tr need anyone’s help!
  8. Freedom from blame
  9. Freedom from people or becoming codependent, comparing myself to others.
  10. Freedom from Complacency
  11. Freedom from Loneliness and becoming “involved”
  12. Freedom from the lack of purpose
  13. Freedom from FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
  14. Freedom from FAILURE: Willing to try new ideas or adventure
  15. Freedom from ANGER: (ONE LETTER AWAY FROM DANGER) Surrender to a power and let it go! Remember, 90% of depression is anger turned inward. Again, LET IT GO!!!

And finally, our goal is to have:

Freedom to love, care, accept and appreciate the world around you

Repetitive complaint will attract things for you to complain about. Repeated gratitude will attract things for you to be thankful about. Turn those freedoms into your gratitude!!!
MAKE IT YOUR BEST DAY EVER!

Choice

Laziness vs. choice

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On the subject of laziness – I have to resist the temptation to label myself as lazy. There is a finality to that statement and that I am doomed to be in that state forever. What I find helpful is instead bring a sense of agency to the situation. For instance:

In this moment I feel extremely fatigued and I choose not to do this task.

It’s OK for me to choose not to do the task. No one will die as a result of that decision. Also stating it as a choice opens the possibility that in the future I can change my mind and do the task. It leaves options open and available to me. Depression feels like I have no choice. Serenity feels like there is possibility of something different. It seems to work for me. Try it on for size and see if it fits. If it doesn’t that is OK – you now know a technique that doesn’t work for you. There are many other techniques here in the room that you can try. I need to be willing to try new ways of handling things.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Anxiety, Focus, Purpose

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast

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Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
– Navy Seal credo

If I am in a frantic state, I will make many mistakes. Then I need to do things over again and that takes even more time.

If I do things slowly and follow a process I am far less likely to make mistakes. I need to do things right the first time. The best way that I know to do that is to follow a process. I can have processes about many things: how I shave, how I iron a shirt, how I troubleshoot a problem in my professional IT career, how I approach my recovery from depression and anxiety.

Sometimes in a highly excited anxious state it seems incredibly hard to slow down and calm my mind. I sometimes see my issues with anxiety as a block of wood with really rough edges. I may not be able to have a smooth block of wood immediately. I can however start the process of sanding down the roughest edges of my anxiety. My anxiety may be so intense that I can’t go from frantic to calm and serene. But perhaps it is possible to lessen my anxiety by 1%. I will be in a better place of mind. I want to be serene and calm, but in this moment I may only be able to achieve a 1% reduction.

Progress not perfection.
– 12 step recovery slogan

Another benefit of having a process is that you will develop muscle memory about the process. When in the thick of a fight, or deep in anxiety, it may not be able to think clearly. Wouldn’t it be great to have muscle memory about a process that you can follow?

It is better to sweat in training, than to bleed in war.
– Wisdom sometimes heard in military training

This week at work there were some major problems. Systems critical to the business were not functioning preventing action on revenue generating jobs. There was immense pressure to get those systems back online and functioning again NOW. As I felt the anxiety in me rise I would repeat the mantra several times and my anxiety would lessen a little bit. I had a process and it helped.

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Focus, Helpful Thinking, Purpose

Knowledge from other disciplines helping in recovery from depression

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I can draw inspiration and wisdom from many sources, not just 12 Step recovery literature. What matters is how can I apply that wisdom to my recovery from depression? I have a pretty eclectic set of experiences and I will draw from those experiences in future posts.

When reading non-recovery literature all I need to do is to view that other literature through the lens of the 12 Steps. If I look for wisdom, I will find it. If I look for the good in other people I will find that too. If I look for my Higher Power I will find that too.

Be open to all wisdom. Learn to apply this wisdom to your recovery from depression.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Acceptance, Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Mutual Aid, Serenity, The 12 Steps

Is The Road That You Are Traveling, Taking You To A Place Where You Want To Go?

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If you are going down a road and don’t like what’s in front of you, and you look behind you and you don’t like what you see, get off the road. Create a new path.
– Maya Angelou

When I was traveling down a road that led me into one brick wall after another, I made up my mind to find a new road–without all the brick walls.

The road that I am on now, a road which I have created, still exits with some obstacles, but no longer am I faced with unmovable brick walls. I got off this road.

What happened, you might ask. Well, to keep this brief, I ran into a bunch of people who were traveling on a very wide and level road, one which they said would lead me to where I wanted to go. (no, this is not the Yellow Brick Road of the Wizard of Oz). Amazingly, they all knew where I needed to go. This surprised me, as I didn’t even know where I needed to go.

With my God’s help, a fellowship of wonderful brothers and sisters, all fellow travelers, continuing to travel on this road, a personal path, filled with hope and serenity.

This path has a name, in case you are curious. It’s called the Twelve Steps of Recovery. This path is filled with signs of hope, those spiritual principles which are our guardrails, keeping us all headed in the right direction.

It’s even possible that I might even meet you on this path. I hope.

Hugh S., for the Depressed Anonymous fellowship